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* Posts by Michael Parker

32 posts • joined 11 Oct 2007

iPhone 4 on Pay as You Go: UK networks compared

Michael Parker

giffgaff?

what, no mention of GiffGaff?

sim only, great bundles (from £5 per month) decent out of bundle costs (4p sms 8ppm calls to any network)

nice extras (free 0800 calls, free gg-gg calls and texts)

and totally unlimited internet...

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The Register comment guidelines 2010

Michael Parker
Big Brother

I think...

...whoever wrote these guidelines should be sacked.

That is all.

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iPad to become inflight fatcat fun-slab

Michael Parker
Joke

naaah....

...it'll never take off.

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Did LibCon alliance bring down O2 network?

Michael Parker

'A spokeswoman for O2 said'

Ah, so you got the quote off their facebook group then... :)

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Playboy flashes 3D centerfold

Michael Parker
Joke

Surely...

...if the centre-fold were one of the Navi people, it'd make for a VERY blue edition of the magazine.....?

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.XXX accuses ICANN of 'lip service' on porn domain

Michael Parker
Pint

does it not make sense though...?

'tsunami of complaints from US Christian groups, which believe it will lead to an increase in internet porn.'

yeah, but if all porn sites ended .xxx all you'd need to do is block *.xxx as a parent / network manager... seems to make sense to me?

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Apple uncloaks deep details of its 11 iPad apps

Michael Parker
Boffin

yeeah, but...

...will it blend?

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Facebook prepares for another privacy row with its users

Michael Parker
Pint

interesting...?

"...and connect with the... ...things in your life."

So, does this mean we'll finally be at the Tomorrows World point of our toaster telling the fridge we need more jam?

'I'll drink to that' but only if my fridge has ordered more beer from Tesco's online for me...

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NFC breathes new life into tombstones

Michael Parker
Dead Vulture

website...

'the tags can use induced current to respond with a URL where the owner, or the owner's heirs, have uploaded personal information about the deceased'

'Sorry, this site is currently under decomposition - please try again later'

yeah, ok, it sounded better in my head(stone).

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Vodafone eyes iPhone switchers for fresh Sim-only deals

Michael Parker

Or, just get a regular simplicity contract...

The regular 12 month simplicity contract, 1600 sms, 800 minutes and 'unlimited' 3G internet is £20 too... and it works great on iPhone. (Yeah, you lose the visual voicemail and tethering but still...) Plus, get it through topcashback and make some dosh while you're at it.

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Sky 3D soccer fails to score

Michael Parker
Boffin

curious...

...can you wear 2 pairs of glasses for the full 6D experience?

[chose icon, coz he's wearing glasses innit]

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Greenock pensioners cuffed for Tesco 'sex romp'

Michael Parker
Thumb Up

Cleanup in isle 3....

title says it all.

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Adultery website boosted by Christian publicity campaign

Michael Parker

Viral...

I'd have thought an extra-marital affair website would want to keep the viral aspect to a minimum...

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Apple preps touchy-feely iMac

Michael Parker
Joke

I'll assume you MEANT the pun...

'tap in to [the touch screen all in one market]'

A pun too far...? :)

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US woman to drop sprog live on internet

Michael Parker
Jobs Halo

There's an app for that...

...with push... push... PUSSSSHHHHH technology...

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'Miracle' bra saves Detroit woman from robber's bullet

Michael Parker
Joke

they could market it as...

...'KevBra'?

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Yes! It's the USB retro-style vacuum cleaner

Michael Parker
Coat

that...

...really sucks.

Sorry. I'll get my coat.

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Tories call for mobile phone ban in schools

Michael Parker

Kids don't need mobiles...

most schools have a pay phone, end of "after school club" nip to pay phone, 20p, job done...

kids want phones to look kool... deal.

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Michael Parker
Coat

Why stop there...?

I mean, imagine the BLISS of banning mobile phones in, ooh, trains? Planes? and (when driving) automobiles. (A quick and safe look around on my drive down the M4 every day shows that people still do use phones when they drive...)

Perhaps the kidz of today should do without their phones for a bit longer, possibly the Tories should suggest no TXT B4 M@rij...?

If the kidz want to film happy slapping incidents after the ban, they can just use a digital camera, surely...

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Queues start a day ahead of UK iPhone arrival

Michael Parker

er, actually...

I *think* you'll find that's 6:02pm... No idea why, there must be a reason, but still, 6:02 it is.

A really clever hype up by Apple this, I mean, a new nokia comes out and no one really cares until their next phone upgrade... but the iPhone comes out and geeks queue up for hours...!

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Blank media levy breaches should be criminal, say authors

Michael Parker

what a pile of...

so, they charge you a fee because you "might use the media to copy copyright material"? So, if this is the case, scanners, printers, cameras, mobile phones, your eyes... should all have the same fee, just in case you happen to use them to pirate something...

another pointless EU law. At least the "lets have straight bananas" one was worth while, it means i can fit my sarnies, a snack AND a banana into my lunchbox...

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'I'll be back' is most-quoted movie line

Michael Parker

yeah... but what counts as a quote?

So, does using the 'quote' in everyday life make it a quote? I mean, if you tell someone "I'll be back at 3" does that count on the quote-o-meter? Aparently, if you wrote out 'I'll be back' every time it was said in 2006, you'd fill 6 football pitches...

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Supermicro punts 'world's densest blade'

Michael Parker

sorry...

...I read that as "Super Mario" now that WOULD be a story and a half...

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Police tackle crime hotspots with scary warning poster

Michael Parker
Joke

Could be used to an advantage...

...I mean, these signs can be helpful and informative to all invoved. Also, it helps get the scallywags back to work. Only the other day, visiting my local hospital, I noticed the sign "Thieves Opperate In this Area"

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TV-Links man was arrested under trademark laws

Michael Parker
Coat

you are the weakest link...

hmm, what about "google cache" and "the internet archive" if they store details of sites that are taken offline, surely they are just as bad?

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Identity and Passport Service announces ID supplier shortlist

Michael Parker

There must be a mistake...

...I don't see Fasthosts as one of the top 5?

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Safe drinking guidelines 'plucked out of the air'

Michael Parker
Joke

I'm not as plucked as you fink *hick*

We can see right through this one... "Ok guys, the sooner we come up with a figure, the sooner we can hit the town, have a few beers, eat a Kebab and sing "New York, New York" in a seedy nightclub"...

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Developer to demo 400Mbps powerline Ethernet

Michael Parker
Joke

and if there's a powercut...

...can it run on candles?

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Fasthosts customer? Change your password now

Michael Parker

...rarely encrypted passwords to aid customer service.

yeah, that makes sense. "I've forgotten my password, the one i use on all my internet banking sites too" "ah yes, its FL1bble sir"

surely "OK, we've emailled you a link to change it" or "we've set up a temporary password, you'll have to change it..." would serve the customer better?

Its like saying that locksmiths should have a key to all the doors in the street incase you lose your key... which reminds me. Where are my keys...

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Fasthosts admits email destruction fiasco

Michael Parker

When they say "50% of the emails..."

So, all the spam about 'extensions' and 'tablets' have been restored, but that email from your relative in Australia...

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Microsoft patents brain-computer link

Michael Parker

"It looks like you're thinking about writing a letter..."

So when "Windows for Brainwaves" is released, you'll REALLY need a memory upgrade?!

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YouTube invades Google Earth

Michael Parker

Now all we need is a "Why"

We have a what and a where after all...

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