There was of course the ill-fated Netball Team

How can I ensure I'm one of the 400,000?

I'm now copying and pasting the recipe using a "Peeee Ceeeee", thereby providing the heretofore absent IT angle

A pun too far?

First used the phrase in 2007? Has El Reg been shirking off school for a cheeky fag behind the bikesheds rather attended IT Buzzphrase classes with the malodorous Mr Jenkins?

Minus 10 house points. And stop chucking spit balls at Miss Bee - you'll only give her issues in later life.

Having a slow Friday - can El Reg invent some news, please?

Could "gone to the zoo" replace "outage" in all IT-related announcements, please? It would brighten up my day no end...

Screw the ice discovery - what ungodly animal made those rectangular footprints so close to the lander? YOUR CAMERA NEEDS TO LOOK UP NOT DOWN

[Nurse? Is it time for my meds?]

That is all

I thank you

Thought Hull would have had a better showing. Oxford's a complete dump.

Mine's the one that is so cunning you can brush your teeth with it.

Cheeky bast**ds, the lot of you

Message now on IYLISMWDYGLT:

"It's broke cos there's fecking millions of you coming to look at it.

"I mean, I'm not going to start actually PAYING proper money to host this. And adverts are shit. So you'll just have to wait until the load dies down a bit, then I'll put it back.

"In the meantime, why not go and sign a petition or chain yourself to some railings. Go on. It's about time you did something useful.

"Maybe you should go and read something on Media Lens or sign up for their Media Alerts."

That is all. I believe that's my coat and taxi

I approve of new Eee PC girl, and it looks like she's on the way to getting drunk.

That is all

The mind boggles. Was it a yelp of pain during an explosive bowel movement?

Presumably freeze-packed vindaloo has now been taken back off the supplies manifest?

I would have worn the one with pebble-dashing on the back, though I've had it burned for reasons of basic health and safety.

The boffins should have researched London buses before designing the lander. Bus drivers appear to be able to decelerate from extremely high speeds to a stop without warning at nearly every bus stop based on my observations of flying shopping bags, kids' buggies and old ladies.

Mine's the one with scuff marks and blood on it.

Right - that's three votes for the El Reg party. And that's at least twenty more than UKIP and Veritas apiece.

Dear El Reg,

I am fighting off waves of despair at the thought of having to choose between the range of incompetent, directionless buffoons that collectively call themselves political parties. At least the Monster Raving Loony Party is transparent in its purpose.

In order to prevent my current option of writing c**t in the box adjacent to each candidate in the next general election, may I propose that El Reg forms a party whose manifesto is clear:

1. Flying cars by 2015

2. Scrap ID cards

3. Sort out NHS IT

4. Mandatory encryption of public data before transport

5. Specific entertainment budget for MPs to engage in off-colour activities, possibly involving alcohol, football shirts, wildlife and hidden cameras, mainly for the general amusement of the voting public. Hey, it's going to happen regardless, so you might as well be up-front about it, right?

This helpful move would allow me to vote for a group of people I felt at least lived on the same planet as I did. Though you could get amanfromMars to write your press releases to confuse stupid people.

Hugs,

Senor Beavis

xx

Genius site. Do you share my view that the posts in the site were in fact originally authored by TVGOHOME?

Gosh, isn't it always illiterate, narrow-minded f**k weasels who have the time to respond to articles?

Usenet Oracle vs The Moderatrix - FIGHT

No contest, in my opinion. The Moderatrix wins on the following counts:

1. Is female

2. Is not beardy

3. Does not think wearing shorts to work is an acceptable fashion choice for men

4. Does not collect ancient Sun kit

5. Fights dirty

Cease and desist before you get spanked.

Happy POETS day, all.

Reg Comments seems to be taking on a life of its own. However most of the time it's just like Groundhog Day with the same content regardless of the story.

Can we have a clear classification system for posters?

The "Me Too" - Nothing to say so I'll agree with someone else just to get a posting on the board.

The "Knocker" - Doesn't know the subject that well but that smug know-it-all who does needs taking down a peg or two!

The "Last one Laughing" - Take everything literally and suffers a total humour failure

The "First Past The Post" - Reads every other word in 10 sec flat and posts inflammatory drivel in a surge of adrenalin.

The "Troll" - The traditional stirrer position

There are more of course. I think this system could really streamline the comments

:o)

What a swizz. It's clearly a Python from Elite, which means you'll always see it running away from you as you laser its ass.

Mine's the one with "Right On Commander" on the back

That is all

Presumably Bill Ray has forwarded a courtesy copy of this article to the PR droids' boss, so he/she knows who should be up against the wall first when O2 begins to haemorrhage customers?

I believe this coat belongs to O2...

Childish but funny. Carry on.

"Hold me legs while I get me tape measure out"

By the end of yesterday I had no fookin' clue which were real stories anymore. So I went to the pub and drank to forget. Photo of me later attached

Mobile phone calls may only be taken outside the aircraft. That is all

Yet another commendable success to show our European neighbours.

Unless it's a French conspiracy to scupper our football and air travel to make Sarko look good.

And remind me, we're planning to build a shed-load of nuclear power stations? Is anyone else considering moving to the Southern Hemisphere before they come online?

I for one welcome our new cut-n-paste comment overlords

Feeling like cold, dead skin can't be a selling point, surely? Ick

amanfromMars' comment made sense. You are not amanfromMars

I recall a story of an eminent forensic who used to say to rookie cops during their first attendance at a post-mortem examination that anyone found horizontal would be treated to a free autopsy...

Why in the name of all that is holy is it TJ Maxx stateside and TK Maxx in Brit land?

I for one welcome our space-dwelling robotic overlord

FIPR isn't a government body in itself, however it is made up of intelligent, well-informed and articulate individuals who advise government (and occasionally government listens).

Just take a look at their list of trustees (http://www.fipr.org/trustees.html) and I'm sure regular readers of El Reg will recognise some of the names. I have had the privilege of knowing some of those mentioned.

In situations such as this where groups are campaigning on your behalf, please remember to consider making a donation to allow them to keep doing what they do best (http://www.fipr.org/friends.html).

Vista's en route to that place where Betamax, HD DVD and Windows ME have gone. They're all sitting there dunking low-quality biscuits in weak tea in that room in hell for also-rans.

And as I'm feeling zero-tolerance today, if anyone is considering arguing the toss that Betamax and HD DVD were technologically superior, which company would you have preferred to invest in?

Vista = overly expensive, copy-cat tosh pushed by a company that insults its customers by telling them that what they really, really need are superficial features and a trip to the shops to buy a faster fscking PC to run the damn thing. They haven't even succeeded in taking significant market share away from THEIR OWN PRODUCT.

Flame on m****rf*****s

I've been in the compartment of a shopping trolley when someone attempted to insert a further trolley from behind. What's to stop a traffic jam of these infernal machines turning the occupants into human jam?

...misreading STFC as STFU? I am gloriously offended every time an article about them appears on the Reg

Anyone who names a product "Synergy" deserves to be sacrificed to the grammar trolls on the decimation thread

It's the only way the take-up rate of Vista will ever increase

So essentially more games will be reviewed and as a result more will be classified 15 or 18. So what? The comparable action on films hasn't exactly stifled the film industry.

Given that games are increasingly photo-realistic (ignoring the cut-scenes), what is the objection to classifying ultra-violence in the same way as films?

However, it's not going to stop under 15s/18s getting hold of games they're not meant to be sold in the first place. If anything, an 18 certificate may encourage them to buy something they otherwise wouldn't have bothered to simply on the basis that they're not meant to.

Quick straw poll, how many people when they were under-18s successfully got into an 18-rated film (possibly through cunning use of bumfluff) and derived some kind of faint thrill from beating the system?

And on a final note, purely to ditch any vestiges of credibility, Tanya Byron can put me on the naughty step any time she wants. Coat and taxi, ta

Goodness knows I'm not a law pedant, however I remember some poor sod was prosecuted for using the free WiFi connection of an internet cafe from outside. If I recollect correctly, it constituted tresspass. If the luckless soul had bought a coffee before doing exactly the same thing, he'd have been fine.

Point is: just because it's free, unsecured (or still on default passwords, natch), you're not supposed to hook up without the consent of the WiFi owner. It's bad, m'kay?