Posts by Senor Beavis
117 posts • joined Wednesday 10th October 2007 11:23 GMT
Re: Ugh, more nonsense
Your farting fixation aside, what the London start-up scene has going for it is that it's willing to take more risks (hence more failures), moves more quickly, and is better at self-promotion. Where it falls down are the countless start-ups that are aping existing successful ideas, but in different niche markets, or that are basically solving a problem nobody has - a problem not just confined to London companies.
On the other hand, the Cambridge scene has some tremendously intelligent academics attempting to commercialise their research. However, to generalise wildly, they're too risk-averse, slow-moving and mostly unable to articulate simply the benefits of their product to their markets. Hence very few companies succeed globally, despite the strength of their product. Being called "the best-kept secret on the internet" isn't meant to be a badge of honour. And they're equally susceptible to creating products that solve problems nobody has.
Now if some bright spark can figure out a way to combine the best aspects of these two technological hotbeds, then we're looking at a far more interesting proposition. Plus they have the advantage of being comparatively close to each other.
[I write from experience of working in both Cambridge and London software companies - as I've no direct experience of Silicon Glen or M3 corridor, I've chosen not to comment either way]
Latin pedantry
If you're gonna use Latin, get it right - pollices is the plural of thumbs, as any fule kno. And yes, I'm also absolutely certain that nobody gives a f**k.
Useful
Like the '10 best ...' articles - usually when I'm in the market for something, understanding how it stacks up against its contemporaries in terms of price, features and performance is darn helpful.
While the automated benchmarks, particularly for phones, are all very nice for pretty graphs, what I'm really after is whether it works in real life, i.e. for typical mixed usage during the day, does the battery need charging at lunch? Or does the phone catch fire when attempting to flick from browsing to email to twitter, and so on?
The thinly-veiled reprints of corporate press releases are frankly worthless from an information and journalistic point of view. I want YOUR opinion because it's not the vendor's.
Be more irreverent. That is all.
OMG Ponies!!!
That is all
Ash, schmash
What about the gigantic squirrel threatening UK and mainland Europe?
Posted in New road made from pigsh*t in Missouri
Nyurrrr
"skidmarks" - made me giggle like a child again
Um, here's a word...
cock
Not the worst Cambridge Uni naming decision...
There was of course the ill-fated Netball Team
ITV3 & ITV4
How can I ensure I'm one of the 400,000?
@Mad as a Bat
I'm now copying and pasting the recipe using a "Peeee Ceeeee", thereby providing the heretofore absent IT angle
"Wipe clean tool"
A pun too far?
Keep up at the back
First used the phrase in 2007? Has El Reg been shirking off school for a cheeky fag behind the bikesheds rather attended IT Buzzphrase classes with the malodorous Mr Jenkins?
Minus 10 house points. And stop chucking spit balls at Miss Bee - you'll only give her issues in later life.
Bored
Having a slow Friday - can El Reg invent some news, please?
Posted in Facebook takes a break
Gone to the zoo
Could "gone to the zoo" replace "outage" in all IT-related announcements, please? It would brighten up my day no end...
Posted in Phoenix spies probable Martian water ice
Holy crap
Screw the ice discovery - what ungodly animal made those rectangular footprints so close to the lander? YOUR CAMERA NEEDS TO LOOK UP NOT DOWN
[Nurse? Is it time for my meds?]
Posted in Sixth British Columbia stray foot a hoax
I bet the shoe's on the other foot, now
That is all
Posted in Sixth British Columbia stray foot a hoax
Or possibly it should give the cops paws for thought
I thank you
Posted in Oxford tops Blighty university rankings
Funny...
Thought Hull would have had a better showing. Oxford's a complete dump.
Mine's the one that is so cunning you can brush your teeth with it.
Posted in Angry? Try the Tw*t-O-Tron
Fecked
Message now on IYLISMWDYGLT:
"It's broke cos there's fecking millions of you coming to look at it.
"I mean, I'm not going to start actually PAYING proper money to host this. And adverts are shit. So you'll just have to wait until the load dies down a bit, then I'll put it back.
"In the meantime, why not go and sign a petition or chain yourself to some railings. Go on. It's about time you did something useful.
"Maybe you should go and read something on Media Lens or sign up for their Media Alerts."
That's snow leopard, it's a hyena
That is all. I believe that's my coat and taxi
How the...?
Sad news about the mutt, but I'm intrigued: how does a pirate DVD smell different to a legit one? I'm genuinely interested if anyone knows how the dogs can be trained to differentiate.
SuperNAP?
"The stick-jockeys in charge of takeoff and landing are physically present near the runways in theatre, but the robot killers are handled in action from facilities near Las vegas."
Wild speculation, I know, but could the Las Vegas location be the Switch SuperNAP, by any chance, given it's teeming with ex-mil staff already?
Screw the battery - let's focus on the real story
I approve of new Eee PC girl, and it looks like she's on the way to getting drunk.
What a twat
That is all
Posted in ISS toilet fails to suck
"heralded by a 'loud noise'"
The mind boggles. Was it a yelp of pain during an explosive bowel movement?
Presumably freeze-packed vindaloo has now been taken back off the supplies manifest?
I would have worn the one with pebble-dashing on the back, though I've had it burned for reasons of basic health and safety.
13,000mph -> 5mph
The boffins should have researched London buses before designing the lander. Bus drivers appear to be able to decelerate from extremely high speeds to a stop without warning at nearly every bus stop based on my observations of flying shopping bags, kids' buggies and old ladies.
Mine's the one with scuff marks and blood on it.
El Reg Party (2)
Right - that's three votes for the El Reg party. And that's at least twenty more than UKIP and Veritas apiece.
El Reg Party
Dear El Reg,
I am fighting off waves of despair at the thought of having to choose between the range of incompetent, directionless buffoons that collectively call themselves political parties. At least the Monster Raving Loony Party is transparent in its purpose.
In order to prevent my current option of writing c**t in the box adjacent to each candidate in the next general election, may I propose that El Reg forms a party whose manifesto is clear:
1. Flying cars by 2015
2. Scrap ID cards
3. Sort out NHS IT
4. Mandatory encryption of public data before transport
5. Specific entertainment budget for MPs to engage in off-colour activities, possibly involving alcohol, football shirts, wildlife and hidden cameras, mainly for the general amusement of the voting public. Hey, it's going to happen regardless, so you might as well be up-front about it, right?
This helpful move would allow me to vote for a group of people I felt at least lived on the same planet as I did. Though you could get amanfromMars to write your press releases to confuse stupid people.
Hugs,
Senor Beavis
xx
@ Greg
Genius site. Do you share my view that the posts in the site were in fact originally authored by TVGOHOME?
Gosh, isn't it always illiterate, narrow-minded f**k weasels who have the time to respond to articles?
Posted in Thus spake the Moderatrix
@ Andrew Oakley
Usenet Oracle vs The Moderatrix - FIGHT
No contest, in my opinion. The Moderatrix wins on the following counts:
1. Is female
2. Is not beardy
3. Does not think wearing shorts to work is an acceptable fashion choice for men
4. Does not collect ancient Sun kit
5. Fights dirty
Cease and desist before you get spanked.
Happy POETS day, all.
Posted in Life a mess? The Moderatrix can help
Good morning - It's Groundhog Day !
Reg Comments seems to be taking on a life of its own. However most of the time it's just like Groundhog Day with the same content regardless of the story.
Can we have a clear classification system for posters?
The "Me Too" - Nothing to say so I'll agree with someone else just to get a posting on the board.
The "Knocker" - Doesn't know the subject that well but that smug know-it-all who does needs taking down a peg or two!
The "Last one Laughing" - Take everything literally and suffers a total humour failure
The "First Past The Post" - Reads every other word in 10 sec flat and posts inflammatory drivel in a surge of adrenalin.
The "Troll" - The traditional stirrer position
There are more of course. I think this system could really streamline the comments
:o)
@Stu Reeves
What a swizz. It's clearly a Python from Elite, which means you'll always see it running away from you as you laser its ass.
Mine's the one with "Right On Commander" on the back
Just wanted to use the icon
That is all
Posted in O2 PR calls Reg readers 'techie nerds'
O2 PR staff in can't-use-telephone-equipment shocker
Presumably Bill Ray has forwarded a courtesy copy of this article to the PR droids' boss, so he/she knows who should be up against the wall first when O2 begins to haemorrhage customers?
I believe this coat belongs to O2...
coming first
Childish but funny. Carry on.
Disguise your emails
In the same way as you would distort your voice on phone calls, run your email through google translation tools to a foreign language and back again, or ideally something offline now I think a bit about it. Master crim I am not
Measuring diameter of black holes
"Hold me legs while I get me tape measure out"
Posted in Reg April Fools '08
reality distortion field
By the end of yesterday I had no fookin' clue which were real stories anymore. So I went to the pub and drank to forget. Photo of me later attached
I concur
Mobile phone calls may only be taken outside the aircraft. That is all
Posted in T5 opening turns into Airplane 3.0
WHOOO! Go UK
Yet another commendable success to show our European neighbours.
Unless it's a French conspiracy to scupper our football and air travel to make Sarko look good.
And remind me, we're planning to build a shed-load of nuclear power stations? Is anyone else considering moving to the Southern Hemisphere before they come online?
I for one
I for one welcome our new cut-n-paste comment overlords
Ewwwwww
Feeling like cold, dead skin can't be a selling point, surely? Ick
Holy shit
amanfromMars' comment made sense. You are not amanfromMars
Free autopsy
I recall a story of an eminent forensic who used to say to rookie cops during their first attendance at a post-mortem examination that anyone found horizontal would be treated to a free autopsy...
TJ versus TK
Why in the name of all that is holy is it TJ Maxx stateside and TK Maxx in Brit land?
Posted in Space robot goes operational at ISS
Space robot
I for one welcome our space-dwelling robotic overlord
Posted in Net think tank: Phorm is illegal
@ Avi
FIPR isn't a government body in itself, however it is made up of intelligent, well-informed and articulate individuals who advise government (and occasionally government listens).
Just take a look at their list of trustees (http://www.fipr.org/trustees.html) and I'm sure regular readers of El Reg will recognise some of the names. I have had the privilege of knowing some of those mentioned.
In situations such as this where groups are campaigning on your behalf, please remember to consider making a donation to allow them to keep doing what they do best (http://www.fipr.org/friends.html).
Long goodbyeeee
Vista's en route to that place where Betamax, HD DVD and Windows ME have gone. They're all sitting there dunking low-quality biscuits in weak tea in that room in hell for also-rans.
And as I'm feeling zero-tolerance today, if anyone is considering arguing the toss that Betamax and HD DVD were technologically superior, which company would you have preferred to invest in?
Vista = overly expensive, copy-cat tosh pushed by a company that insults its customers by telling them that what they really, really need are superficial features and a trip to the shops to buy a faster fscking PC to run the damn thing. They haven't even succeeded in taking significant market share away from THEIR OWN PRODUCT.
Flame on m****rf*****s
Posted in MIT plans to roll out 'folding' car
Folding in half
I've been in the compartment of a shopping trolley when someone attempted to insert a further trolley from behind. What's to stop a traffic jam of these infernal machines turning the occupants into human jam?
