NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS
US Government Department of Fish and "WildLife"
1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls
is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited.
If accidentally struck, remove dead
attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys
from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash",
"ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within
100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within
200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses,
health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
8. If an attorney is elected to government
office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or
9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a
state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.
10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to
disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp,
female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim,
bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of