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* Posts by Simon Harris

954 posts • joined 1 Mar 2007

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Virgin Media blocks 'wankers' from permissible passwords

Simon Harris
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Re: Interesting list.

Depends on one's personal hygiene.

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MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS

Simon Harris
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Simon Harris
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123 years...

... and they're still waiting for someone to light the barbecue.

(runs away and hides from my Brazilian girlfriend who's good at lighting barbecues).

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Six of the best gaming keyboard and mouse combos

Simon Harris
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Meh

Re: Marketing fail... err, translation fail

It comes from ουρά rather than ούρα - so it's the tail eating serpent of many ancient mythologies rather than the piss drinker you are suggesting.

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Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

Simon Harris
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Thumb Up

Thumbs up...

for the sub-heading

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True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

Simon Harris
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Re: ISIS

"Are we not calling them ISIS anymore?"

According to that bastion of truth, Wikipedia, since they were formed in 2004 they've been called all sorts of things...

Early 2004 Jamāʻat al-Tawḥīd wa-al-Jihād, "The Organization of Monotheism and Jihad" (JTJ)

Oct. 2004 Tanẓīm Qāʻidat al-Jihād fī Bilād al-Rāfidayn, "The Organization of Jihad's Base in the Country of the Two Rivers" and described by the West as "Al-Qaeda in Iraq" (AQI)

Jan. 2006 "Mujahideen Shura Council"

Oct. 2006 Dawlat al-ʻIraq al-Islāmīyah, "Islamic State of Iraq" (ISI)

Apr. 2013 "Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant", also known as "Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham" (ISIL/ISIS)

June 2014 "Islamic State" (IS)

The last name change to piss of the US who had decided to settle on calling them ISIL in May 2014 (that reason's probably not strictly true!)

If nothing else, at least they're keeping their stationers in work reprinting letter-heads for them at regular intervals!

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WIN: Your passport to PuppetConf 2014

Simon Harris
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PuppetConf 2014

Is there a Punch and Judy show?

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Apple to build WORLD'S BIGGEST iStore in Dubai

Simon Harris
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Re: bad poetry, bureacratic nonsense....

Have an upvote for beating me by seconds to a Hitchhiker's Guide reference!

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Simon Harris
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Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum

seems to have learned everything he knows about poetry from the Vogons.

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Tricked by satire? Get all your news from Facebook? You're in luck, dummy

Simon Harris
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Paris Hilton

Couldn't they just....

show it in a different colour?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/07/13/the_return_of_the_irony_tag/

"Some of its users were a bit thick" ----------------------------------------------------->

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What does a flashmob of 1,024 robots look like? Just like this

Simon Harris
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Re: Now

Just so long as it doesn't take 12 hours to deliver my beer!

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World's only flyable WWII Lancaster bombers meet in Lincs

Simon Harris
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Is it just me...

or does everyone have The Dam Busters March playing in their head when they read this article?

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IBM boffins stuff 16 million-neuron chips into binary 'frog' brain

Simon Harris
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Re: Decision Inverter

I think you mean an exclusive OR gate.

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Simon Harris
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"So, the IBM board may be able to catch a fly for its dinner."

obviously has applications as a debugger then.

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Who should do security clearance checks? Did you say 'chat-bot'? This military slinger hopes so

Simon Harris
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Re: So chatbots wired to lie dectectors make more effective HR droids.

"This looks like a very bad day for HR droids."

It would seem these aren't the droids the US government is looking for.

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FORGOTTEN Bing responds to search index ECJ ruling: Hello? Remember us?

Simon Harris
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If a link is there on a search engine...

but there's nobody there to search for it,

does it really exist?

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Phone charging log helps to convict murderer

Simon Harris
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@ What?

Probably put there so that when you send the phone in for repairs they can tell whether you've been mistreating the battery.

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Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files

Simon Harris
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Re: Public referendum necessary

I think an 'L' accidentally slipped into your title there.

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Simon Harris
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Re: We've got 3D printers and scanners at work

Actually we print body parts all the time...

But purely for medical purposes.

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Simon Harris
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We've got 3D printers and scanners at work

When they arrived, the first rule from the boss was...

No printing of our own body parts.

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Simon Harris
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Happy

Re: Manco

"word in Spanish (where it means person with a missing limb) and a Japanese had to cover her ears since it also means lady part to them."

Can't wait until a Spanish speaking country gets to host the Paralympic Games!

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Simon Harris
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Happy

Playmobil reconstruction...

comes ready-built with the story!

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DRONE WARS: Killers, spies? Nah, they're IDEAL for snapping pics of hot models

Simon Harris
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Re: Hmm can you....

You'd just end up with a lit-up skirt - the drones carry the lighting, not the camera.

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El Reg nips down IKEA's 'I've Got A Screw Loose Street'

Simon Harris
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Re: more of Katarina please!

Now we've had pliers can we have a 20 interesting facts about screws BuzzGasm article please.

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Simon Harris
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IT Angle

Not only IKEA... to add an IT angle

there appears to be an Apple Store on I've got a screw loose street too - how apposite!

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Say goodbye to the noughties: Yesterday’s hi-fi biz is BUSTED, bro

Simon Harris
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Re: RE traditionally separates would be swapped out over time

Fortunately not, although the amp I replaced it with is about the same age as him.

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Simon Harris
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"traditionally separates would be swapped out over time"

I can't be very traditional then - original turntable and speakers still going strong after 31 years, original CD player still fine after 27 years. Things have got added, but the only thing swapped out was an amp that went bad.

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Simon Harris
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Re: This new stuff looks boring

I thought the number of knobs and flashing lights on hi-fi equipment was inversely proportional to the audio quality.

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Google went behind our backs and really HURT US, squeal upset porn kingpins

Simon Harris
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The famous porn brand BaDoink

Ba who?

Never heard of them before this article. Obviously their advertising department hasn't been trying hard enough!

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Cranial RAM cram plan aims to restore memory

Simon Harris
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Will it leave their subjects dimm-witted?

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Today's Facebook fury: Coppertone-like baby pic ban baffles US mom

Simon Harris
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Meh

"children's bare bottoms may be considered to be pornography"

does that include those advertising nappies?

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WinPhone iView app flap: Microsoft to pull 'unauthorised' app... coded by STAFFER

Simon Harris
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Unhappy

iView FTW!

From the windows phone store page, it seems that now it's been withdrawn, Aussie WinPhone users will no longer be able to catch up with Peppa Pig.

Oh the humanity!

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'iPhone 6' survives FRENZIED STABBING. Truly, it is the JESUS Phone

Simon Harris
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Re: Fantastic!

"I'd like to see an entire phone case made out of it so that I can see the phone hardware inside."

Surely the case should be made from stainless steel. A Sapphire and Steel iPhone - that might be enough to convert me!

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Simon Harris
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Re: Fantastic!

"I suspect guerilla marketing"

If it's true about the new glass technology, it's not gorilla marketing, that's for sure!

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NHS delivers swift kick to Microsoft's wallet over fee demands

Simon Harris
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Re: No Sympathy

"IIRC 20 years ago Windows wasn't even an OS, it was a GUI that ran on top of DOS."

Not every Windows of that era. Windows NT 3.1 is just coming up to its 21st birthday - that wasn't just a GUI on top of DOS.

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El Reg is looking for a new London sub-editor

Simon Harris
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Re: Sir

Do the perks include such things as bacon sarnie testing and those post-pub grub deathmatches?

That could be the clincher!

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BBC offers briefest of teasers for the next Doctor Who

Simon Harris
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Re: Nice - boots...

Maybe he found them in the 9th Doctor's wardrobe.

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Today in IT news: iPad Fleshlight a reality

Simon Harris
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Joke

Re: well...

" I've met very few women who don't own up to having a "plastic orifice simulator". "

Although most of the women I know own up to having a plastic orifice...

... but then their most important accessory is a bicycle pump!

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Simon Harris
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Joke

An earlier version attached to an etch-a-sketch...

... But all the users complained - when they got a bit vigorous with it, the picture disappeared.

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9 Dark Social Truths That Will Totally Blow Your Bowels!

Simon Harris
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Re: oh ... ISIS!!!!

Now I hear there's an Iraqi counter-revolutionary group... ISN'TISN'T

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Simon Harris
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Re: WTF? "Sun level" @ AC

Have you never seen Buzzfeed?

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Hate phone games that make you buy in-app gumble? Congrats, you're a niche player

Simon Harris
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I clicked on the link to the report...

... and they wanted to charge me £2500.

Now, that's an in-app purchase and some!

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Elon Musk: Just watch me – I'll put HUMAN BOOTS on Mars by 2026

Simon Harris
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Happy

Re: What Mister Musk needs... @Richard Taylor 2

Oatmeal cookies might be a good compromise...

Nomnomnom...

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Simon Harris
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Re: What Mister Musk needs...

"A batter with about the same energy density..."

I thought he was going to be feeding cars with Yorkshire pudding!

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Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

Simon Harris
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WTF?

You can actually see for yourself, here.

Bleahh!

I wish they'd put some pop-up tool-tips on those cryptic icons underneath each wish. They think I'm going to click on something if I don't know what it does?

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Ohio man cuffed AGAIN for shagging inflatable pool raft

Simon Harris
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Hose...

I used to get sexual satisfaction spraying myself from the garden hose, but now the water's stopped coming out....

It's just been getting too kinky!

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Simon Harris
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Re: Reminds of something I read in the newspaper years ago

"a person having consensual sex with an animal would be free to do so, which cannot be allowed. He was asked how you could tell if an animal is consenting?"

Remember folks, neigh always means neigh.

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Yet another reason to skip commercials: Microsoft ad TURNS ON your Xbox One

Simon Harris
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Re: I disagree @r 11

Ignoring voice commands from the wife?

That's a proper man's phone!

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Kids hack Canadian ATM during LUNCH HOUR

Simon Harris
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What could the bank have done?

The kids didn't interfere with the standard hardware or software to gain access. The didn't steal passwords in any underhand manner. All they did was follow instructions from a publicly available manual, quite possibly from the ATM manufacturer's website (e.g. Triton ATM have them on their site for their machines).

Really all they could say is 'mea culpa' as they didn't take prwcautions to change the password from the default.

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Simon Harris
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Did they use an Atari Portfolio?

"Easy money"

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