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* Posts by Simon Harris

981 posts • joined 1 Mar 2007

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A moment of brilliance? UPnP for Internet of Stuff lightbulbs

Simon Harris
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If you've got an in-house cloud, you should probably turn the humidifier off.

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Anti-Facebook Ello: Here's why we're still in beta. SPAMGASM!

Simon Harris
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Re: Pfft

Wouldn't a *REAL* anti-Facebook action be to go down to the pub and chat with your mates?

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George Clooney, WikiLeaks' lawyer wife hand out burner phones to wedding guests

Simon Harris
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Re: Excuse me, but...

and there was me thinking it was a phone with a dodgy battery!

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Internet of Stuff: Chip rivals try to stop Cortex-M7 from flexing ARM’s muscle

Simon Harris
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Re: " instantaneous response to changing conditions is required, such as lighting management"

Milliseconds?

Most of the lights in my house are compact fluorescents - they seem to have a delay of getting on for a second or so before they do much anyway!

I could rub two boy scouts together and get a fire going quicker than some CFs come on ------------------------------------------------------>

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Simon Harris
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Keyboards.

I haven't opened up a PC keyboard for a long time, but do they still have an 8048 or similar 1970s-ish MCU core controlling them?

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NASA rover Curiosity drills HOLE in MARS 'GOLF COURSE'

Simon Harris
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Re: nice surface

"Perhaps the problem is that it really isn't rocket science and instead of rocket scientists they should maybe be talking to engineers from say michelin or pirelli."

Wouldn't like to think what the AA call-out fee would be if they got a blow-out!

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Simon Harris
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Unhappy

Sadly...

too late for Alan Shepard to continue his interplanetary golf tour.

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Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

Simon Harris
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Pint

De Halve Maan brewery

Great brewery - they do a lovely tour and excellent beer.

Brought home as much as I could carry on my last trip to Bruges

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HOT WET ALIEN world discovered in constellation Cygnus

Simon Harris
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where do they process their data?

It would be appropriately ironic if they use cloud computing to discover there are no clouds.

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Sea-Me-We 5 construction starts

Simon Harris
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Re: "Sea-Me-We"... seriously?

Will they be filling the sea with that 'special chemical' they put in swimming pools so they can find data leaks?

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Heatmiser digital thermostat users: For pity's sake, DON'T SWITCH ON the WI-FI

Simon Harris
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Devil

Re: Where are the crims?

"I can't see the black hats hacking into wifi stats simply to play around the temperature. They shouldn't be able to, but its hardly going to be a major draw."

If my downstairs neighbours had an IoT thermostat I might...

mmmm... underfloor heating

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The British Museum plonks digital bricks on world of Minecraft

Simon Harris
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@ MyffyW

"are you referring to the British Leyland motor vehicle"

The face of a GTA player if all they get to drive is a Metro ------------------------->

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Moon landing was real and WE CAN PROVE IT, says Nvidia

Simon Harris
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Re: To all conspiracy muppets out there

"Showing proof to a conspiracy theorist just demonstrates to them that the conspiracy goes even deeper."

Of course nobody ever landed on the moon. Someone just sent some Nvidia chips back in time to 1967 and the whole Apollo programme was simulated in a graphics workstation.

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SCREW YOU, Russia! NASA lobs $6.8bn at Boeing AND SpaceX to run space station taxis

Simon Harris
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Re: What a total rip-off!

"CST 100 does come down on land, using airbags to cushion the landing."

If they're anything like as bouncy as Pathfinder's landing airbags, will the CST 100 be a boing boing boeing?

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Simon Harris
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Re: LOHAN

Apparently El Reg did put in a bid, but NASA pointed out that none of their astronauts were only 3 inches tall.

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Apple gives fanbois The Sweetest Thing: A delete button for that U2 album

Simon Harris
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Paris Hilton

I don't have any iThingies...

so, can someone with more knowledge of such things than me please explain why Apple needed to come up with a tool just to remove a particular set of tracks from one's account?

Isn't a delete function a fairly universal feature of operating systems these days?

Paris because... she probably knows about as much about iOS as me! ------>

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Simon Harris
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Re: Remove U2

U2 removal tool...

I believe an S-75 / V-750VN combination is the traditional tool of choice.

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Simon Harris
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Re: "...get..."?

The BBC version of the story, which has a snapshot of the removal tool states

"Users who remove the album and do not download it again before 13 October will be charged for the 11 tracks if they subsequently try to add them again."

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Simon Harris
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Golgafrincham

Bono: "look at it this way... The blood, sweat and tears of sone Irish guys are in your junk mail". Is that sanitary?

Sounds like Apple need to get the telephone sanitisers in.

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This flashlight app requires: Your contacts list, identity, access to your camera...

Simon Harris
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Terminator

Time to get worried when this app requires:

  • your clothes
  • your boots
  • your motorcycle

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Why Apple had to craft a pocket-busting 5.5in Plus-sized iPhone 6 (thank LG, Samsung etc)

Simon Harris
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Re: It's all about the screen size @SuccessCase @Russell Hancock

"How does the merchant know how to send you the goods you have ordered (in situations where you order physical goods) if they are not given your name and contact details?"

You mean the goods you just put on the counter in the shop? I thought pay-by-bonk was designed for small payments (up to about £10/€15/$25-ish) for services or products in-store as an alternative to shoving your card in the slot and entering a PIN. If it's for a larger amount or something to be delivered I'd expect more security than just waving the card over the reader.

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Quit drooling, fanbois - haven't you SEEN what the iPhone 6 costs?

Simon Harris
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Re: OnePlus One - FM Radio...

There's one on my Xperia SP.

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Apple's big bang: iPhone 6, ANOTHER iPhone 6 Plus and WATCH OUT

Simon Harris
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Re: Apple Marketing misses a beat.

Isn't it standard form at Apple to take parts of their website offline during their product announcements?

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5.5in iPhone 6, iWatch hypegasm: What will Apple reveal - BE the rumour

Simon Harris
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Re: "What will Apple reveal tomorrow"

"some people read Kim Kardashian's press releases."

People actually ready those? I thought they just looked at the pictures!

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Simon Harris
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Re: "What will Apple reveal tomorrow"

"A wearable device to fit over the eye ... called iGlass"

and when it's discovered that it ruins your sight, they'll release a new version called iPatch.

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Don't buy that phone! It ATTRACTS CRIMINALS, UK.gov will tell people

Simon Harris
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I wonder if the scale is inversely proportional to how much of a beating you get from the average mugger for wasting their time when they discover how pants your phone is.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Demographics

Probably the sort of lifestyle that involves waving it around with the screen on beacon-like in a poorly lit street.

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Virgin Media blocks 'wankers' from permissible passwords

Simon Harris
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Re: Interesting list.

Depends on one's personal hygiene.

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MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS

Simon Harris
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Simon Harris
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123 years...

... and they're still waiting for someone to light the barbecue.

(runs away and hides from my Brazilian girlfriend who's good at lighting barbecues).

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Six of the best gaming keyboard and mouse combos

Simon Harris
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Meh

Re: Marketing fail... err, translation fail

It comes from ουρά rather than ούρα - so it's the tail eating serpent of many ancient mythologies rather than the piss drinker you are suggesting.

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Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

Simon Harris
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Thumb Up

Thumbs up...

for the sub-heading

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True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

Simon Harris
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Re: ISIS

"Are we not calling them ISIS anymore?"

According to that bastion of truth, Wikipedia, since they were formed in 2004 they've been called all sorts of things...

Early 2004 Jamāʻat al-Tawḥīd wa-al-Jihād, "The Organization of Monotheism and Jihad" (JTJ)

Oct. 2004 Tanẓīm Qāʻidat al-Jihād fī Bilād al-Rāfidayn, "The Organization of Jihad's Base in the Country of the Two Rivers" and described by the West as "Al-Qaeda in Iraq" (AQI)

Jan. 2006 "Mujahideen Shura Council"

Oct. 2006 Dawlat al-ʻIraq al-Islāmīyah, "Islamic State of Iraq" (ISI)

Apr. 2013 "Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant", also known as "Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham" (ISIL/ISIS)

June 2014 "Islamic State" (IS)

The last name change to piss of the US who had decided to settle on calling them ISIL in May 2014 (that reason's probably not strictly true!)

If nothing else, at least they're keeping their stationers in work reprinting letter-heads for them at regular intervals!

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WIN: Your passport to PuppetConf 2014

Simon Harris
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PuppetConf 2014

Is there a Punch and Judy show?

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Apple to build WORLD'S BIGGEST iStore in Dubai

Simon Harris
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Re: bad poetry, bureacratic nonsense....

Have an upvote for beating me by seconds to a Hitchhiker's Guide reference!

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Simon Harris
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Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum

seems to have learned everything he knows about poetry from the Vogons.

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Tricked by satire? Get all your news from Facebook? You're in luck, dummy

Simon Harris
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Paris Hilton

Couldn't they just....

show it in a different colour?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/07/13/the_return_of_the_irony_tag/

"Some of its users were a bit thick" ----------------------------------------------------->

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What does a flashmob of 1,024 robots look like? Just like this

Simon Harris
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Re: Now

Just so long as it doesn't take 12 hours to deliver my beer!

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World's only flyable WWII Lancaster bombers meet in Lincs

Simon Harris
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Is it just me...

or does everyone have The Dam Busters March playing in their head when they read this article?

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IBM boffins stuff 16 million-neuron chips into binary 'frog' brain

Simon Harris
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Re: Decision Inverter

I think you mean an exclusive OR gate.

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Simon Harris
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"So, the IBM board may be able to catch a fly for its dinner."

obviously has applications as a debugger then.

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Who should do security clearance checks? Did you say 'chat-bot'? This military slinger hopes so

Simon Harris
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Re: So chatbots wired to lie dectectors make more effective HR droids.

"This looks like a very bad day for HR droids."

It would seem these aren't the droids the US government is looking for.

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FORGOTTEN Bing responds to search index ECJ ruling: Hello? Remember us?

Simon Harris
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If a link is there on a search engine...

but there's nobody there to search for it,

does it really exist?

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Phone charging log helps to convict murderer

Simon Harris
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@ What?

Probably put there so that when you send the phone in for repairs they can tell whether you've been mistreating the battery.

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Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files

Simon Harris
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Re: Public referendum necessary

I think an 'L' accidentally slipped into your title there.

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Simon Harris
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Re: We've got 3D printers and scanners at work

Actually we print body parts all the time...

But purely for medical purposes.

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Simon Harris
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We've got 3D printers and scanners at work

When they arrived, the first rule from the boss was...

No printing of our own body parts.

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Simon Harris
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Happy

Re: Manco

"word in Spanish (where it means person with a missing limb) and a Japanese had to cover her ears since it also means lady part to them."

Can't wait until a Spanish speaking country gets to host the Paralympic Games!

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Simon Harris
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Happy

Playmobil reconstruction...

comes ready-built with the story!

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DRONE WARS: Killers, spies? Nah, they're IDEAL for snapping pics of hot models

Simon Harris
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Re: Hmm can you....

You'd just end up with a lit-up skirt - the drones carry the lighting, not the camera.

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