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* Posts by Simon Harris

1064 posts • joined 1 Mar 2007

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Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie sacked in three-way fsck row

Simon Harris
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Barbies can't fix computers...

but if I remember Small Soldiers correctly,

computers can 'fix' barbies.

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Blighty's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission raises £200k

Simon Harris
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Re: Link to the kickstarter?

Did you try typing 'kickstarter lunar mission' into Google?

It's, err, not rocket science!

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Simon Harris
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Re: £600,000

That's if India hasn't got bored of going to the moon by then - apparently Chandrayaan 2 is set to launch in about 3 years with an orbiter and lunar rover, on a somewhat larger rocket than that which launched Chandrayaan 1 and the Mars Orbiter (sadly, it also has a much higher failure rate).

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Simon Harris
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Time capsule on the moon.

It's probably safer there than in the Blue Peter garden!

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Simon Harris
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Geolocation (with some additional detective work) may make a good guess if the address is associated with a company with a registered domain name (at work, it knows who I work for, but not which site I'm on). For a home user plugged into an ISP, when I've tried it, it identifies the provider, but the location it suggests is usually only somewhere within a 50 mile radius of where I actually am.

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Simon Harris
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"create a site that went round and turned off all these devices with default passwords."

At least in the UK, that might well fall foul of Section 3 and/or Section 3A of the Computer Misuse Act (1990)

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Simon Harris
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"Steamed footage available through the site"

Presumably that will be from the Cambridge University Trojan Room Coffee Machine.

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HUMAN DNA 'will be FOUND ON MOON' – rocking boffin Brian Cox

Simon Harris
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Jim Al-Khalili - now that's someone who can present a good science programme.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Helium-3

Fusion reactor fuel?

Nahh... it'll probably be mined to fill party balloons when all the ordinary helium has run out!

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Simon Harris
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Re: No DNA on the moon

"What about DNA attached to the hair from human contact?"

I am just envisaging aliens discovering this artifact in a million years and concluding we were a race of space-faring(-ish) headlice.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Human DNA on Moon

"DNA is safe in the vacuum of space."

Some people might beg to differ...

Cosmic rays can seriously damage DNA.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Probot?

2003? You're a bit late to the party. I first heard the word Probot in about 1994. It's what we called our automatic Prostate Resection Robot partly developed by me in the Mechanical Engineering Department at Imperial College - see here:

The Probot

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Blackpool hotel 'fines' couple £100 for crap TripAdvisor review

Simon Harris
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Re: No sympathy on either side.

Strangely enough, my brain skipped a few words and I read "functional furniture and equipment that was edible", which is an interesting concept for a hotel.

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Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

Simon Harris
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Re: There seems to be a lot of confusion about 'offline mode'.

Ok, so in Solo mode you never *see* players in Open Play, but do you see the effects of those players? I mean (assuming this is how it works) if you dock at a spaceport and see a list of goodies you want to buy, but close the game down to go and have dinner or something, when you start up again, are the goodies still there, or will the Open Play players have bought them all up while you were away?

Someone posted earlier than the on-line link is necessary to handle purchases - but does it just keep one inventory per spaceport, or manage separate inventories for all solo players too?

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Simon Harris
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It seems to me that it's the difference between buying a house that you can live in forever, and renting a place where you're at the mercy of when the landlord decides you're not profitable any longer and throws you out, or forgets to pay his mortgage and gets repossessed.

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THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS

Simon Harris
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Re: First landing on a comet?

But will ESA be receiving a grumpy letter from Aquilino Cosani for violating his patent for a space hopper?

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Simon Harris
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Re: A hypothetical solution

"Rosetta is very small and quite far away."

What? Something can be small and far away? Father Dougal will be very confused!

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Simon Harris
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Re: Should have included some buttered toast on the feet

Superglueing a cat to the bottom of it might do the trick.

Oh, on second thoughts, that wouldn't help - it would spend even more of its time in sleep mode.

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DODGY THRUSTER won't stop PHILAE hurtling toward COMET SHOWDOWN

Simon Harris
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@EddieD

Isn't that backwards?

Giotto flew by Halley's comet in 1986, but little bits of Halley's comet smashed into Giotto - an encounter which it survived (albeit with a broken camera) and was reawakened in 1990 to fly by comet Grigg Skjellerup, which it did in 1992.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Proof?

Yes, but what triggered life on the Jaggaroth's home planet?

psssst... anyone want a couple of Mona Lisas I've got going cheap!

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My HOUSE used to be a PUB: How to save the UK high street

Simon Harris
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Tesco ...has fallen behind Amazon ... for the ... shiny-shiny we buy each other for Crimbo.

it would never have occurred to me to buy shiny-shiny stuff at Tesco (except maybe chocolate coins).

Bacon maybe, but CDs and tech stuff, no.

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ESA sends back PRE-LANDING COMET CLOSE-UPS

Simon Harris
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Re: Scale.

They should have used a picture of a De Havilland Comet!

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FIRST for HUMANITY: Fridge-size PROBOT headed for COMET TOUCHDOWN

Simon Harris
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Pint

Re: Official unit?

"Beer is measured in cubic light years."

1 cubic light year is about 3.3869 x 10^44 Olympic swimming pools. That's a lot of beer!

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Simon Harris
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Lighter than a feather...

But how heavy is the feather in the weak gravity of comet 67P?

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Chinese coder's got 99 problems and getting hitched is one: Huge iPhone woo plot FAILS

Simon Harris
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Re: Box clever?

As white is a colour of mourning in Chinese culture, wouldn't that be like buying her 99 little coffins?

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Simon Harris
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Re: But... Why?

As red's the colour of good fortune and joy, he might have been better off with 99 Red Balloons.

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This 125mph train is fitted with LASERS. Sadly no sharks, though

Simon Harris
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Sadly no sharks...

The railway system does (or did) use Sharks though...

Shark was the British Railways designation for a ballast plough brake van.

Here's an example of one that the Bluebell Railway has:

http://www.bluebell-railway.co.uk/bluebell/pics/ds62864.html

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Printing Bad: Meth found in laser printer cartridges

Simon Harris
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Re: I have an addiciton...

"Oh, I didn't know Tenerife wasn't in the EU so I could only bring back 200"

May be an easy mistake to make - The Canary Islands, as part of Spain are part of the EU, and use the Euro just like Spain, but they are a "Special member state territory" and outside of the EU VAT area and are therefore treated as outside the EU for import duty and restrictions.

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Fatty Brit 4G networks SLOW DOWN. Too much Bacon, perhaps?

Simon Harris
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EE must be using Bacon too much these days...

All I hear on my phone is crackling.

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Simon Harris
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Too much bacon.

It's not often those three words appear together in an El Reg article.

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DROIDS - everywhere! Is Apple really even in the game any more?

Simon Harris
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Re: More Importantly

"Shouldn't it be using arse recognition?"

I'm designing one that can track me by the infra-red signature of my piles...

... it's a 'Droid 'Roid follower.

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Virgin 'spaceship' pilot 'UNLOCKED tailbooms' going through SOUND BARRIER

Simon Harris
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Re: Why...

Further news reports (e.g. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-29895140 seem to have indicated that unlocking the feathering mechanism at that point in the flight is not standard procedure.

Still doesn't answer why it was unlocked though - pilot error, incorrect information being supplied to the pilots, etc. or whether the craft was supposed to be capable of flying in an unlocked configuration.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Why...

Who knows without knowing what the standard operating procedure is for the craft? It seems rather early to apportion blame on the flight crew - while the video may have shown the co-pilot unlocking the mechanism (first step), it doesn't show him activating it (second step) - maybe it's designed to be capable of flying unlocked without actually activating feathering?

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Russia to ban iCloud.. to PROTECT iPhone fiddlers' pics 'n' sh*t

Simon Harris
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"all data generated within Russia to be stored within its borders."

I wonder how that will affect the webcam girl industry - which presumably contributes to the Russian economy.

All those girls (well, the Russian ones anyway) will be generating data in Russia from their cameras, but mostly, as far as I know, the servers holding snapshots and video clips recorded from those cameras are in the US and Europe.

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iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

Simon Harris
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Joke

Re: didn't we have a Steve Jobs biopic already?

"Do we need a new Steve Jobs movie every other year?"

I thought it was the law - everything Apple related has to be upgraded to a new version every couple of years.

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Intel: A tiny video drone? Disguised as a BRACELET? Great! Take half a million dollars!

Simon Harris
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"LiPo battery"

I read that as 'Lithium-Polonium battery' - an RTG powered drone - now that's an idea!

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Brighten your November morning: 900 in-browser arcade classics added to the Internet Archive

Simon Harris
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A neat trick...

would be to reverse engineer the Javascript to recreate the original (or compatible) hardware.

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Got a spare $600k? Then an ancient Apple-1 could be yours

Simon Harris
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What is it with Apple I auctions?

We did this a couple of weeks ago.

Is it like football? Is there an Apple I transfer deadline and they all have to be auctioned off for crazy money and change hands before the end of the month or something?

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That 'TECH-FREE' Nophone? It was already out years ago

Simon Harris
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Happy

Re: How is this a thing?

"My blackberry is not working"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIaXSBSQ0W0

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Simon Harris
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I'd want one...

... but only if it was made of chocolate.

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Pro-ISIS script kiddies deface West Yorkshire egg-chasers' site

Simon Harris
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dog lovers

Are they absolutely sure they weren't hacked by Downton Abbey?

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Simon Harris
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a black screen and the message: "I love you Isis"

And I'm sure ISIS love men with funny shaped balls too.

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Would you recognise the Vans shoes logo? Neither would Euro trademark bods

Simon Harris
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Re: "Squigly line logo"

Ahh.. I think Uffish has found the answer while I was looking at shoes!

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Simon Harris
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Re: "Squigly line logo"

That's the only logo I've seen, and it didn't seem very squiggly to me - is there a more squiggly logo that I'm not aware of?

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Samsung launches 'perfect pair' of skinny mid-range phones

Simon Harris
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Re: 326 to 312 ppi

I think there might be an echo in the room!

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Simon Harris
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Are we talking about mobile phone colours here, or toilet paper?

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Simon Harris
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Way ahead?

312 ppi vs 326 ppi pixel density. That's only about 4% - how many people can really see the difference?

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Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from GOD'

Simon Harris
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pinning the rainbow flag to his lapel.

Maybe it would be appropriate to pin it to all their devices instead and reinstate the rainbow Apple logo originally in use from 1976-1998.

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