* Posts by Anonymous John

2374 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Oct 2007

Govt ponders proof-of-ID law for future phone purchases

Anonymous John
Coat

It's a good job that

criminals and terrorists don't have false passports and ID.

And even if it was workable, it's many months away. Ample time for anyone who wants an untraceable Pay as you Go phone to stock up.

I was thinking of getting one for scambaiting use, so there are legitimate reasons for having one without wanting your details being on a lost or stolen hard disk.

Mine's the one with the slit in the lining where the RFID chip used to be.

Brit chemist conjures smell of outer space

Anonymous John

@ Motorbike welding

" I'm just curious: how does welding a motorbike smell differently from welding a bicycle? Or a car?"

You can't weld a car in the kitchen.

Tech gadgetry brings about pet-o-geddon

Anonymous John

What about cats falling off LCD monitors and TVs?

Mine were most upset when I switched from CRT.

Scammers making '$15m a month' on fake antivirus

Anonymous John
Coat

"little better than back of the envelope calculations."

What's wrong with those? I've just tried it and got the same answer as my calculator.

Mine's the one with numbers scribbled on the sleeve.

Hands on with SanDisk's SlotMusic SD-not-CD player

Anonymous John

Neither can I.

It's a portable gadget, and who wants to have to change a fiddly little memory card out of doors every time you want to listen to another album?

A typical album is about 50MB, leaving the card 95% empty. Filling one up with your own music with no display to show the contents doesn't seem practical. The sleeve is surely too small for the names of 1GB of tracks, even if you felt like writing them all down.

Batman theme composer dies at 85

Anonymous John
Coat

Well, someone has to.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Deadman!

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Deadman!

Deadman, Deadman, Deadman!

Mine's the cape and mask.

Bloke knocked up kebabs close to corpse couch

Anonymous John
Coat

We laughed

when this happened in Fawlty Towers.

Mine's the one with flies swarming round it.

Supersonic bizjets could have windowless flight decks

Anonymous John

The Space Shuttle

Actually, it is landed manually. Albeit with the help of computers, a microwave landing system, and a HUD.

A camera and display wouldn't add much.

Wal-Mart punts industrial strength feminine deodorant

Anonymous John
Coat

Mine's

the one you can smell from 50 yards away.

Deloitte loses hundreds of thousands of pension details

Anonymous John
Unhappy

No real problem

After what's happened to share prices recently, what pensions?.

Canada sex shop heist shafts proprietress

Anonymous John
Joke

Should be easy for the police to solve.

With a crime like this, there should be some sort of buzz on the streets.

Bebo users release interstellar spamgasm at Gliese 581

Anonymous John
Unhappy

March 2029?

We're due to have a near miss from Asteroid 2004 MN4 on April 13, 2029. If they've got FTL travel and decide to give it a slight nudge, we've got a problem.

Autopilot blamed for Qantas plunge

Anonymous John

Computer problem?

"It looks like you want to dive into the ground.. Would you like help?"

EU battery rule may zap iPhone, blow away MacBook Air

Anonymous John

@ Um

All three smartphones I've had had easily replaceable batteries, none of which have every failed. Handy as you can keep a spare charged battery with you and double the time you can use the phone when unable to charge it.

less important with eInk devices as the battery lasts much longer, but it could still be useful.

Anonymous John

@OR maybe..

We do have a standard now. Called mini USB. Admittedly, it's 5 volts only, but most gadgets use less than that.

Anonymous John

Ebook readers will be hit too.

As fa as I know, only the Bookeen Cybook has a user replaceable battery.

Trigger-happy Welsh cops taser sheep

Anonymous John
Coat

Mine's

the sheepskin one with the two small punctures.

Mapping the universe at 30 Terabytes a night

Anonymous John

That's a lot of data

to lose on public transport.

Catholic priests cane YouTube over blasphemous vids

Anonymous John
Coat

"footage of a host being flushed down a toilet."

And where does it go after being eaten?

Mine's the once with the free food from the church in the pocket.

Hawaiian anti-LHC lawsuit thrown out

Anonymous John

"Famous eccentric American botanist, lawyer and soi-disant physicist "

Never heard of him.

RM Asus miniBook Plus netbook

Anonymous John
Unhappy

A four page review,

and no picture of the beach totty?

Full-size Roman siege artillery offered on eBay

Anonymous John

It's in Kirriemuir Scotland

Shame. I'd like to see it, but it's quite a long way away.

Mine's the one with the "Veni Vidi Vice" slogan.

Attack of the 50-foot mobile virus risk

Anonymous John

So,

when can we expect the first ebook reader virus warning?

Phoenix sees snow above Mars, but it's not sticking

Anonymous John

Phoenix might even detect snow reaching the Red Planet's surface

Or even better, a gritting lorry.

Hubble transmissions cease as computer fails

Anonymous John

@ Good timing

Two or three months ago would have been even better. Time's running out to finish the ISS. Now they've got another flight to fit in next year.

Elon Musk's Falcon 1 launches successfully

Anonymous John

@ What's new?

No new technology as far as I know. It's news as it's the first privately funded orbital vehicle. And also because Falcon 1 costs $7.9 million per flight, less than a third of the cost of any comparable US launch vehicle. And if as hoped, the first stage can be made reusable, the cost will fall even further .

Anonymous John

@"payload mass simulator"

It was to carry a Malaysian satellite, but only if a Falcon 1 had previously reached orbit. The ashort interval between the third and fourth didn't allow enough time for a real payload to be flown.

BT's third Phorm trial starts tomorrow

Anonymous John
Unhappy

What next?

Phonewise

You're invited to switch onto BT Phonewise.

As a BT customer, you can try an exciting new BT service called BT Phonewise.

When switched on, BT Phonewise will monitor your calls, and interrupt them with selected adverts tailored to your interests.

Letterwise

You're invited to switch onto Royal Mail Letterwise.

As a Royal Mail customer, you can try an exciting new Royal Mail service called Royal Mail Letterwise

When switched on, Royal Mail Letterwise will open your letters, and send you selected junk mail tailored to your interests.

Elgato EyeTV DTT Deluxe 'world's smallest' USB TV tuner

Anonymous John

Didn't El Reg try it on a Windows PC?

Vista is a multi-media OS and it may have found suitable drivers on the net.

Sun's solar wind hits 50-year low

Anonymous John

I for one,

welcome our new incoming cosmic ray overlords.

Cisco.com suffers lower case t breakdown

Anonymous John

Some wadangle

with a spell checker?

Another London BT exchange hit by thieves

Anonymous John

Oh! East End!

You had me worried for a minute.

Peggy Mitchell: "What's going on?"

Phil Mitchell: "What's going on?"

Billy Mitchell "What's going on?"

etc"

David Blaine tw*tdangle ends in controversy

Anonymous John
Coat

he was "not going to pee all over myself"

Isn't that what the catheter was to prevent?

Mine's the upside down one.

Boffin brews up 'Jurassic Park' beer

Anonymous John

I wonder how strong the beer is?

Yeast stops fermenting when it can't cope with the level of alcohol it's produced. I can't see a 45 million ear old yeast having much alcohol tolerance. Something we've been breeding yeast for for a very long time.

Blockbuster: DVD to Blu-ray shift slower than VHS to DVD

Anonymous John
Coat

If you've got a DVD recorder

a Blu Ray player is a step backwards.

And take Torchwood. Made in HD, but the Blu Ray version was released 1 year later than the DVD one. What sense does that make?

Mine's the trench coat.

Daily Mail hacks get emergency bird flu jabs

Anonymous John
Joke

@ Is this ANYTHING to do with BIRD flu?!

http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/story.asp?sectioncode=1&storycode=42096&c=1

I'm not worried about bird flu. I'm a bloke.

Anonymous John

I can see the Mail headlines now

Bird flu deaths reach 30 million. House prices expected to slump.

Nokia creates Indoor Positioning

Anonymous John
Coat

Will it

be useful for finding coats?

Met Office: Global warming sceptics 'have heads in sand'

Anonymous John

From the article

"Despite this, 11 of the last 13 years are the warmest ever recorded."

So? The thermometer was invented during the Little Ice Age. We've no record of temperatures in the Medieval Warm Period.

Dell bundles free fresh air with PC

Anonymous John
Happy

Which reminds me.

I got an email from www.amazon.co.uk last week to say that they had overcharged me by 1p, which was being refunded.

Apple recalls iPhone 3G power adaptors

Anonymous John
Coat

because "under certain conditions

Like the user being ham-fisted?

Mine's the one with the missing buttons.

Did the width move for you, darling?

Anonymous John
Coat

Stories no longer seem to have links

back to the home page.

Coat please, and where's the way out?

US blogger to enjoy Singapore jail

Anonymous John
Paris Hilton

Pillock!

Paris, because she'd have more sense.

Say hi to Haumea - our fifth dwarf planet

Anonymous John
Coat

When

are they going to name one Pastafaria?

Mine's the one with the packet of spaghetti in the pocket.

UK launches major road signage review

Anonymous John

@ Silly Billies.

Over a decade? That's nothing. The New forest is over 900 years old.

Sony PRS-505 Reader e-book

Anonymous John

October 2008

All we know is that Sony are making an announcement on 2nd October. Introducing a new machine a month after rolling out the 505 in the UK etc, is going to upset a lot of recent purchasers.

Literacy leads to happiness and luuurv

Anonymous John
Coat

Hmm

Mine's the XXL one with the Sony reader in the pocket.

Today is not Hadron Collider Day

Anonymous John

this will happen "by the end of the year".

Can't they be more specific? Is it worth buying Christmas presents, or not?

The Hadron Collider: What's it all about, then?

Anonymous John

a hyperdrive propulsion capable of making the trip to Mars in 5 hours

Hyperdrive is travelling faster than light, isn't it? It doesn't take light 5 hours to get from here to Mars.

To mark the occasion, I'm baiting a scammer using the name Higgs Boson.

NASA chief blasts US space policy in leaked email

Anonymous John
Unhappy

What he didn't say,

is that the Shuttle isn't suitable for manning the ISS. It can only stay in space for 2 weeks, If an emergency evacuaotion is meeded, Soyuz capsules that can stay docked for the ISS for six months are the only answer.

The ISS will be able to support a crew of six in mid 2009. I don't see this happening now if this agreement for NASA to pay for Soyuzs isn't renewed.