* Posts by Mike Richards

3605 posts • joined 28 Feb 2007

Your call is not important to us

Mike Richards

Amazon

Their 'call me back' facility on the customer service pages is quite simply brilliant. I've never waited more than 30 seconds for the call back and then no more than a few more moments until I'm speaking to someone who can fix the problem.

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Antique Nimrod subhunters scrapped – THANK GOODNESS!

Mike Richards

Crap plane - but...

Comparing the price of the development of the Nimrod to the price of a new Orbiter is misleading as it ignores the huge amounts of money NASA sunk into designing the Shuttle in the first place.

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UK tech retailers are rubbish

Mike Richards

Not just Richer Sounds

Comet are especially evil in this regard. They carry Monster cables - and we all know what good value for money they aren't - and bully customers into buying them with a TV. My parents got scammed for £60 for component cables (and were told this was a special offer because they were buying a table) - when both their DVD player and TV had HDMI.

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Mike Richards

If you really need a SCART cable

Drop round my place and I can give you a dustbin bag full of them.

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Videogame TRAINS TERRORISTS, yells pundit

Mike Richards

Well I don't need any more evidence than that

It's quite clear that MW2 also inspired time-travelling terrorists to attack Vienna and Rome airports in 1985:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rome_and_Vienna_airport_attacks

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Bookeen CyBook Orizon

Mike Richards

PRS-650

Any chance of a comparison with Sony's top-end eBook reader which has the same screen? From the photos the Sony is better looking, but it'd be nice to know about the usability.

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China plans city 'twice the size of Wales'

Mike Richards

Size of Wales

Is a bit arbitrary really. Do you mean the size of Wales as seen from above, or the size of Wales if you ironed it properly (in which case it is considerably larger than Greenland*)

* which isn't as large as you think it is.

I'm really not helping am I?

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The Last Airbender up for nine Razzies

Mike Richards

You're forgetting the Expendables

Easily the worst movie of last year.

It's like someone had 1980s action movies explained to them through interpretive dance, then commissioned a script from a slumming chimp, got it directed by someone who might have trouble using a flip, lit by a blind man and the sound recorded through treacle.

Never have so many steroids been shot to so little effect.

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Gates, Woz, and the last 2,000 years of computing

Mike Richards

ENIAC first????

Hasn't it been agreed by everyone outside the US that ENIAC was preceded by the all-electronic Colossus (which was also binary - something ENIAC wasn't)? The Zuse machines and the ABC preceded both, but contained mechanical components.

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Massive US rocket sends top-secret cargo into space

Mike Richards

'yesterday's delivery is likely to have gone into a high-angle polar track'

DID go into a high-angle polar track. If it had been in any other inclination it would have dumped boosters and spent stages on the US.

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Duke Nukem Forever release date revealed

Mike Richards

[GRIN]

They're aiming for Fall 2007.

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End of the line for ID cards

Mike Richards

Somewhere...

ex Identity Card Minister Meg Hillier is crouched in her bunker, ID card in one hand, pearl-handled revolver in the other 'They'll never take my card. Never I tell you!'

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Lush website hack 'exposes credit card details'

Mike Richards

Unencrypted car details?

I hope someone is recreationally fired for that mistake.

I *think* if the card issuers find the data has not been held securely they can not only force Lush to cover the losses, but they can refuse to offer card services to the company.

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Boffins sex pterodactyls at last

Mike Richards

Pterodactyl???? Never trust spokespeople, they know not what they write

Darwinopterus is a genus in the pterosaur order. Pterodactyls are another genus in the same order but belong to a completely different family.

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FAA to pilots: Expect 'unreliable or unavailable' GPS signals

Mike Richards

Can't wait for the headlines

Bearing in mind both disruptions are in areas famed for their wackos we should expect some hilarious news stories.

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NASA nano-satellite belatedly ejects from orbiting mothership

Mike Richards

If only...

...they'd had the foresight to put a little Playmobilnaut aboard.

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Gov will spend £400k to destroy ID card data

Mike Richards

Should have crowdsourced it

I'm sure a whole lot of people here would have brought their own sledgehammers and done it for free just for the reward of making David Blunkett cry.

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Brazilian cult condemns USB

Mike Richards

'because blue is the colour of Jesus' eyes'

Really, are there a lot of good Jewish boys from Nazareth with blue eyes?

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BBC rebuilds Civilisation in HD

Mike Richards

35mm remastering

If they've done it with 'The Prisoner' maybe they'll do it with 'The Avengers' which was also shot on 35mm.

Sorry the thought of Diana Rigg in HD has left me utterly incapable of working for the rest of the day.

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Mike Richards

Big fan of 'Earth Story'

Not only was it gorgeous (and at the time cutting edge geology). But they were very clever with Aubrey Manning as a presenter. He openly admitted he didn't know much about geology, but didn't go down the more common route of acting like a cretin. Here was a smart guy using his knowledge of a different area of science to explore another.

BTW. Does Brian Cox's constant smile freak other Regitards as much as it does me?

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Mike Richards

To be fair to Iain Stewart

At least he's a geologist.

The BBC is usually much happier to embark on 'celebrity led journeys of discovery'*, just think back to the buttock clenchingly awful episode of Horizon with Alan bloody Davies. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that'll follow that up with Barbara Windsor's Quest for the Higgs Boson.

* their words not mine. It was used in cold blood at a pitching meeting I once attended.

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Raygun dreadnought project reports 'remarkable breakthrough'

Mike Richards

Last paragraph

Is genius.

Although are we limited to shark-deployed weapons? Would one of the members of Tylosaurinae (15m of pure bloody-minded viciousness) make a better platform ?

Or even a brachiosaur with water wings.

Just so long as this wouldn't delay the delivery of my pet dinosaur.

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Lame Stuxnet worm 'full of errors', says security consultant

Mike Richards

Maybe it isn't as good as it could have been because...

...it had to be ready by a certain day?

Such as the day before the Israelis started bombing.

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Boeing customers spy distant Dreamliner

Mike Richards

Chevrons on the engines

They're there help reduce engine noise.

As mentioned above the 'Top Gear' jumbo was a prop on Casino Royale where its undercarriage and engines were mated to a CGI upper.

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Police DNA test plan to put off prostitutes' punters

Mike Richards

Wow!

Someone who makes ACPO look rational.

Speaking of ACPO, I was very surprised recently to learn that they're not a statutory body. For all the press attention they get and access to ministers, they are nothing more than a private company. It's also exempt from the Freedom of Information Act.

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Who are the biggest electric car liars - the BBC, or Tesla Motors?

Mike Richards

Fast charging

Some of the information about charging is out of date. Nissan have already announced a fast charge for the LEAF which will take it from flat to 80% charge in less than half an hour.

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Ace Reg reporter in career suicide shock

Mike Richards

Good luck Chris

You have a monumental task ahead of you with the Telegraph's tech pages which appear to be aimed at users of - well the telegraph actually with articles that alternate between 'can it ever be acceptable for women to use a home telephone?' and 'Steven Fry says this is the best thing ever - so it is'.

So are you the Reg's very own trojan horse on Fleet Street? A stealthy replacement of the Telegraph's journalists by the likes of yourself, Lester, Lewis and of course the very lovely Moderatrix would be guaranteed to raise the blood pressure of elderly conservatives everywhere.

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Special Ops satellite-bitchslapping hydrogen strato cruiser flies

Mike Richards

Why hydrogen?

Is there something special about hydrogen which makes it the only suitable fuel for such a mission?

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Dixons warns on crap Christmas

Mike Richards

They're bigger than that

Have you already forgotten that they are 'the greatest electrical store in our galaxy':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ODFqZBoAPc

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Mike Richards

WH Smith

Just one of those stores I kind of wonder how it's still in business.

Every time I go into one they seem to have added another disparate line of products. First it was chocolate bars, then it became pick 'n mix, now Krispy Kreme. All of which have been accommodated by as you say - crunching magazines so tightly together you can't see anything - assuming of course they haven't randomly moved all the shelves around.

Books? Nope, if it isn't a Twilight book, a sleb autobiography or on Richard and Judy's list you aren't going to find it. Music - forget it, DVDs - how much??? Blu-Ray - what's that?

They must be existing solely on the profits on Lottery scratch cards and chocolate oranges (which are crap since Terry's got taken over, but that's another rant entirely).

See also Boots.

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Assange vows to drop 'insurance' files on Rupert Murdoch

Mike Richards

America - never short of terrorist threats

So they're now detaining people coming from that hothouse of fundamentalist reasonableness - Iceland.

Watch out Finland, you'll be next.

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Airbus secures whopping 180 plane deal

Mike Richards

Sharklets?

What a fabulous new word. I plan to use it every day.

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China's 'stealth fighter' flies – brown trouser time, or not?

Mike Richards

Maybe it's not aimed at the US

China has any number of border disputes with non-aligned countries - most especially with Vietnam and India. How would the J-20 compare to their latest aircraft should Beijing decide that these matters need to be resolved without resorting to diplomacy?

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Man charged in bizarre EXPLODING VIBRATOR plot

Mike Richards

Presumably

This dildo came with an enormous seven-segment LED display and beep-beep-beeped its way down to the suitably explosive climax.

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Video games go off quicker than tomatoes

Mike Richards

Good point

The comparison completely ignores the fact that video games are also 'fashionable' - there's a huge demand to have the game on day 1 and its appeal drops off fairly quickly afterwards. A couple of months later there is essentially no demand for the game whereas a car will remain desirable for longer (unless its a Toyota in which case it never was)

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Microsoft 'maintenance' blocks Hotmail

Mike Richards

Hold on...

...there are people who *pay* for Hotmail addresses?

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BT confirms broadband upgrades for rotten boroughs

Mike Richards

In other news

BT confirms that each household or street will be connected by fibre to the local exchange which will continue to be linked to the national network by a piece of damp string.

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In-flight fight for stubborn iPhone-loving teen

Mike Richards

Offence?

Isn't it a Federal offence to refuse reasonable requests from the cabin crew such as switching off electronic devices?

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Labour moots using speed cameras to reward law-abiding drivers

Mike Richards

Ah New Labour - it's like you've never been away

It's taken them a few months, but credit to New Labour for coming up with another incredibly intrusive scheme for obtaining information from perfectly innocent people.

Next - CCTV camera records to be analysed to reward people who don't walk on the cracks in the pavement.

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National Identity Card holding chumps have buyer's remorse

Mike Richards

But whilst we're trying this approach

Will the government compensate me for buying an HD-DVD player?

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Mike Richards

If they'd been forced to get a card...

...then I'd have some sympathy for them, but not when the cards were always voluntary for British citizens. They chose to get one full knowing that two of the three main parties (including one that was always ahead in the opinion polls) were committed to scrapping the cards.

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Enormous 1km ice-cube machine fashioned at South Pole

Mike Richards

Call Tom Baker now

Many of my childhood nightmares featured a certain green seed pod discovered by overly curious scientists drilling into the Antarctic ice cap.

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Daily Express social network pwned by slew of smut

Mike Richards

The most terrible thought...

Daily Express readers getting it on.

[shudder]

Besides, apart from the spelling mistakes what difference is there in the content on those pages and that provided by Dirty Desmond through his Northern and Shell porn empire?

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'Porn lock' heralds death of WikiLeaks, internet, democracy, universe

Mike Richards

But it's a good idea

We should pressure the Daily Mail to take the lead. Rather than demanding the government do something, the Mail should see how many of the grotesques who buy the paper actually subscribe to its 1950's net-curtained view of world.

They could guarantee that there will be no porn, a Queen's head on every page, payments in Pounds sterling only, absolutely no blacks, gays or Irish, and lots of bulletin boards where people can fume, fulminate and exude generally toxic levels of moral superiority over the state of the country.

And the rest of us can add their domain name to our black lists.

Everyone wins.

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Mike Richards

'Vaizey is, however, not stupid'

Now, now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

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Missile defence FAIL: US 'kill vehicle' space weapon flunks test

Mike Richards

If only they would go back to the drawing board

But they've sunk so much money into this project that it won't be killed by anything short of a Congressional veto, holy water and a stake through the heart. Bearing in mind the Republicans are entirely loopy about missile defence there is precisely zero chance of anyone sitting down and saying 'this is a crappy idea, why don't we...?'

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BA flights website grounded by snow

Mike Richards

'World's Favourite Airline'

I'm pretty sure they stopped using that slogan a few years ago, mainly on the grounds that their crapulent service, ramshackle aircraft and enthusiastic refusal to follow something so simple as a timetable was opening them up for legal action.

If I didn't have quite so many Air Miles with them I'd gladly never use BA again.

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Gawker tech boss admits site security was crap

Mike Richards

What you Pay Is What You Get (WYPIWYG)

Unless you're in government when you pay several hundred times more than what you get.

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Apple iPad vs... the rest

Mike Richards

Dell Streak anyone?

Has anyone played with this machine, or is there a good reason I've never actually seen one outside of the O2 store?

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Prosecutors kick Phorm case upstairs

Mike Richards

To show good faith

Is there any chance we can extradite the BT and Phorm boards to the US as hostages whilst Julian Assange appeals his case? Then we can honestly say we deal harshly with people who don't resPect private data AND have a national feel good moment.

If we can throw BT and ex Labour minister Patricia Hewitt into the deal as a sweetener it'd make my day.

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