* Posts by Mike Richards

3615 posts • joined 28 Feb 2007

Boffins agree: YES we have had an atmospheric warming pause

Mike Richards

So there was a pause in atmospheric warming

But the oceans have continued to warm. And they're absorbing in more than 90% of the trapped heat.

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Doctor Who nicked my plot and all I got was a mention in this lousy feature

Mike Richards

Robots of Death

Is of course entirely brilliant and it uses several Agatha Christie novels as its basis - Murder on the Orient Express, The Naked Sun and most obviously, Ten Little Indians.

There are also nods to Isaac Asimov, Poul Anderson and Karel Capeck - and somehow it all still works.

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Mike Richards

'The Seeds of Doom' not only cribbed gleefully from 'The Thing from Another Planet' but then went and lifted chunks of the classic 'Avengers' story: 'The Man Eater of Surrey Green' including a carnivorous plant on the loose in suburbia, a slightly mad old lady and a killer chauffeur.

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Horny lovers FOSSILISED in steamy RUMPY-PUMPY session 156m yrs ago

Mike Richards

Did the earth move for you?

With 33 examples of fossilised fooking already known when can geologists get their hands on an absolutely filthy palaeontology textbook?

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Tesla shares dip as Elon Musk admits electrocar firm ran out of juice

Mike Richards

Re: A third Tesla went up in flames this week

There were 287,000 vehicle fires in the US in 2010.

http://tkolb.net/FireReports/US_VehFirTrePat2003-2007.pdf

Now the question is, is there a common fault with the S-Type that makes it susceptible to fires, or are these being caused by external factors (such as the one that hit a massive chunk of metal at speed)?

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Staying power: The small screen spans of the eleven Doctor Whos

Mike Richards

No, no, no infographics and diagrams are different things. A diagram tells you something useful and is occasionally pretty. An infographic is pretty and only rarely tells you anything at all apart from arts graduates shouldn't be allowed near a computer.

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We've invented the FONBLET, says Samsung

Mike Richards

Re: Used by the beautiful, famous or especially athletic.

They're using the strategy used by the fashion business.

If you use the same fondleslab as someone famous for being famous then some of their glamour will rub off on you (in a nice way, not a slightly sweaty moderately disgusting sort of rubbing).

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Does 'Star Wars' casting call hint at DEATH of LUKE SKYWALKER?

Mike Richards

Calling beautiful people

You too could have the onscreen charisma to be the next Natalie Portman and Hayden Christiansen.

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Thought you didn't need to show ID in the UK? Wrong

Mike Richards

Is one of the 404 methods a gas bill?

Because nothing is a more authoritative identity document than a recent utility bill.

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Ten top stories from Classic Doctor Who

Mike Richards

Web of Fear

I forgot to mention this one, but the recent iTunes release of the recovered tapes is absolutely brilliant. Unlike a lot of six partners, this one really doesn't flag. Well worth a look.

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Mike Richards

Ark in Space

As an 8 year old kid when this aired, I can say that I didn't notice the bubble wrap, it was just horrible green goo consuming Noah. And by god it was scary, then a few weeks later it was Davros - AND HE HAD NO EYES, JUST SOCKETS! Not long after that it was the Zygons and a killer Harry Sullivan. A couple of years later giant robot mummies and the utter horror feast that was Brain of Morbius. Followed by the gorgeous, creepy robots in Robots of Death, a walking ventriloquist dummy in Weng Chiang and that bloody skull in Image of the Fendahl. God it was good to be a kid in the 70s.

We even had Spangles.

I really wish someone at the BBC had the courage to commission equally scary stuff these days.

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RED planet, INDIAN mission: Space probe prepares for voyage to Mars orbit

Mike Richards

Re: PLSV? What rocket is this?

What's seriously impressive is that the Indian Space Agency originally intended MOM to fly on the GSLV rocket, but when that suffered a series of launch failures, they switched to the PLSV.

The GSLV should fly again soon and they'd better get it debugged because it is need to carry the Chandrayaan-2 lunar orbiter, lander and rover in 2017.

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Horrific FLESH-EATING PLATYPUS once terrorised Australia

Mike Richards

Someone get SciFi Channel on the phone!

I think I've found a replacement for when shark movies jump the - erm - shark.

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Unsung DEAD WHALE EXPLODER hero, who gave the early internet a purpose, passes away

Mike Richards

A sad day

This story circulated for years on bulletin boards and Usenet before it became a video sensation. All we had to go on was the original Dave Barry column, which begins:

'I am absolutely not making this incident up; in fact I have it all on videotape. The tape is from a local TV news show in Oregon, which sent a reporter out to cover the removal of a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale that washed up on the beach. The responsibility for getting rid of the carcass was placed upon the Oregon State Highway Division, apparently on the theory that highways and whales are very similar in the sense of being large objects.

'So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the plan — remember, I am not making this up — of blowing up the whale with dynamite. The thinking here was that the whale would be blown into small pieces, which would be eaten by sea gulls, and that would be that. A textbook whale removal.

...

http://theexplodingwhale.com/evidence/resources/dave-barry-article/

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We'll build Elon Musk's Hyperloop ... if you lob us ONE-MEELLION dollars

Mike Richards

Tragically Elon didn't pick up the phone to El Reg

Because I reckon we could have come up with much better names for the company. Who wouldn't want to see CHER* straddling California for the next couple of centuries?

*California Hyperloop Eliminates Railroad

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Google RIPS aside curtain, exposes Nexus 5 phone, KitKat Android 4.4 coupling

Mike Richards

'Google has also eschewed Apple and Motorola Mobility's fruity color schemes'

Somewhere Nokia sobs in the corner.

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Murdoch: I'm a Jawbone fanboi - and it's going to help me live to 100!

Mike Richards

Uncle Scrotes should share his jawbone information with the rest of us. Quite a lot of people can't wait for him to stop moving.

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LG G Flex: A new cheeky curvy mobe with a 'SELF-HEALING' bottom

Mike Richards

Re: Rulers obsolete

And a delightful rocking chair for hamsters.

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Post-PC era? Post-MAC era! OS X Mavericks 'upgrade' ruins iWorks

Mike Richards

Re: A little confusion here - not as bad as it initially seems

Open an existing 2009 document in the new iWork suite and it immediately saves the document in the new format - using the same filename. Your old file is gone and won't open in 2009. You can't go back without resorting to a Time Machine backup, and exporting from 2013 to 2009 is very hit and miss if you have anything more than a basic project.

And I'm sorry, saying we had to downgrade the software to give the other versions a chance to catch up is a pretty poor one for one of the world's largest IT companies.

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Mike Richards

Re: Ribboned for your pleasure

'My daughter who is at Uni, is using the new Pages and much prefers it because of the convenience of the iCloud data storage giving her access via mobile. Essay writing is probably a pretty typical style of use case for iWorks and for such non-demanding work '

I think the key phrase there is 'non-demanding'. Pages is a toy, albeit a pretty one. But as soon as you need proper editing features or handling references and bibliographies it is completely out of its depth.

Somehow Apple just managed to make it worse.

After the technicolor dog's breakfast that is the new iOS7 GUI it's hard to see if Apple is even bothering to test stuff before shipping.

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Cameron on EU data protection rules rewrite: 'Hold it so we get it right'

Mike Richards

Re: The legislation has the word "protection" in it.

Don't mince your words, let us know what you really think about the odious little cockwomble.

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Why Bletchley Park could never happen today

Mike Richards

Re: No war

I don't remember a huge backlash against the intelligence agencies after previous attacks in the UK.

Huge hatred for the people who did it, but no normal people (obviously the likes of Blair, Straw and Blunkett don't count) were demanding our rights be thrown into the Moulinex on the spurious grounds it would make us safer. If anyone was saying the intelligence services had failed it was the politicians who promptly proceeded to shower them with more money and power.

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Money really does GROW ON TREES say boffins

Mike Richards

Freshly caffeinated, so here goes.

Eucalyptus trees concentrate gold in their leaves. This has been proven by experimentation and fieldwork. However, all the cool kids have been wanting to perform literal data mining on GA's amazing dataset in the hope that there's gold in them thar bytes.

But it might be cheaper to go into a Eucalyptus forest, snip some leaves and analyse them for gold. Or just follow a koala with a mass spec.

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Obama to Merkel: No Americans are listening to you on this call

Mike Richards

I wish *we* could hear that conversation - an angry German on line one. Unmissable.

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Phantom Flan flinger: The story of the Elan Enterprise 128

Mike Richards

I remember the hype

And the delays, and the name changes - and despite it I still wanted one.

Then a year later the Amiga arrived and left pretty much everything else in the dust.

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Bacteria-chomping phages could kill off HOSPITAL SUPERBUGS

Mike Richards

Re: Good news!

'(Except that the Daily Mail won't have any Superbug of Death stories to 'report' on)'

S'okay all the people surviving bacterial infections means the Mail can run HOSPITAL OVERCROWDING horror stories.

And thanks for confirming this sounded awfully familiar from 'Horizon' - must have been a long time ago because it was a good BBC* 'Horizon'.

* Before Bloody Cox.

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Osborne to China: Keep watching Downton and we'll gloss over Huawei security worries

Mike Richards

You have to admire the Chinese

And they way they manage to hide their contempt for people like Osborne and Johnson who are so willing to kow-tow to them.

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Island-hopping Beardy Branson: I'm dodging rain, not taxes

Mike Richards

Course he's not dodging taxes

He's welcoming taxpayers' money to keep Virgin Trains going.

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Murdoch calls for world+dog to 'expose' Google

Mike Richards

Thanks Rupe

I'd almost forgotten that former Number 10 spindoctor and flame-haired editoratrix (your favourite person in the whole wide world) were on trial for corruption whilst working for your company.

I do hope there will be lots and lots of coverage in the media.

All of the media.

Including your bit - if you can squeeze it in between the tits.

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Video thrilled the radio star: Tracking the history of magnetic tape

Mike Richards

Great series

Thanks.

Perhaps as a follow-up one on how data is restored from degraded tape? With Patrick Troughton DW in the news I'd love to know how they make old telly sparkle.

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BBC announces plans to spend your cash on digital goodies

Mike Richards

On a similar note

How did that BBC Micro initiative work out again?

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MI5 boss: Snowden leaks of GCHQ methods HELPED TERRORISTS

Mike Richards

To quote Mandy Rice-Davies

'He would, wouldn't he?'

If the head of GCHQ said Snowden's revelation of the scale of their unsupervised interceptions had no consequences whatsoever, he'd be hard pressed to explain why it is necessary to continue.

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Printing the Future: See a few of UK’s 6.2 million 3D-printed ‘things’

Mike Richards

Lost wax?

Could 3D printing be a replacement for the plastic or wax model used to form the mould in the lost wax process? It doesn't have to be durable as it is going to be melted or evaporated before the mould is filled with metal.

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COMET DIAMONDS from SPACE found in Libya's glass desert

Mike Richards

Not the first cometary material recovered on Earth either

High-flying U2 sample flights have regularly brought back pieces of cometary dust (it's kind of fluffy) from the stratosphere where it can be found amongst meteroids, volcanic ash and the occasional fragment of solid rocket booster exhaust (LOHAN's will be added soon)

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Apple iMac 27-inch 2013: An extra hundred quid for what exactly?

Mike Richards

Headphone socket

I'd just like a headphone socket that was easy to get to rather than hidden somewhere in the acres of brushed aluminium round the back.

The one upside of losing the optical drive is that there's no longer a DVD slot for me to idly push an SD card into and spend the next few minutes swearing.

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Police constable 1337 stunned by Lego lookalike

Mike Richards

Re: Amazing. Not.

You left out the Express' darling - St. Diana of Sloane.

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The Vulture 2: What paintjob should we put on our soaraway spaceplane?

Mike Richards

Re: Register Red of course!

And Thunderbird 3 was red.

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'Safest car ever made' Tesla Model S EV crashes and burns. Car 'performed as designed'

Mike Richards

At least it wasn't a Pinto

The US government says there were an average of 152,300 car fires each year between 2006 2010. Each year they caused an average of 209 deaths, 764 injuries, and $536 million in direct property damage.

https://www.nfpa.org/safety-information/for-consumers/vehicles

Apparently Tesla has the car in their labs and they'll have to respond because the one thing America is even better at than high tech is litigation.

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Exciting MIT droplet discovery could turbocharge power plants, airships and more

Mike Richards

Re: Nothing will make airships viable.

'In films yes. You should remember that the Hindenburg, the poster ship of the "IT BURNS" camp, wasn't destroyed by a hydrogen fire - the hydrogen only went up AFTER the rocket fuel coated outer canvas cover set on fire and the fire then burned through the gas bags.'

No it didn't. If you watch the film of the disaster there is a closeup view of the bow as it comes crashing to earth. You can see the airship is burning inside before the outside skin catches light.

It was a hydrogen fire that destroyed the Hindenburg.

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Have PIXmania. In fact, have £59m with it too, Dixons tell German VCs

Mike Richards

Never really trusted them

After they insisted on customers sending copies of their passports when making an order.

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Thorium and inefficient solar power? That's good enough for me

Mike Richards

'and there's no marine engineer I've found who thinks that anyone has looked seriously at the problem of maintenance of metallic structures in the salt water of the North Sea.'

Aren't oil rigs kind of made of metal? And in the North Sea.

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iOS 7 SPANKS Samsung's Android in user-experience rating

Mike Richards

Settings -> General

IOS has kept a lot of apparent simplicity by hiding its complexity further down. A huge amount of stuff has been bundled together in the dreaded General settings which is a real mish mash of unrelated stuff which makes it harder to remember where things can be found.

Having said that, IOS settings are a joy compared to trying to do basic things like change time and date on my mum's Galaxy Europa.

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Deep inside the iPhone 5s lurk a few surprises

Mike Richards

Re: Samsung processor

'If they were feeling frustrated at all of apples patent trolling and attempting to screw then over at every turn, they could have such fun with the chip fab.'

Has anyone with an electron microscope to hand looked for any rude messages about Apple on the silicon?

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Douglas Adams was RIGHT! TINY ALIENS are invading Earth, say boffins

Mike Richards

Re: Moonlighting?

Screw *his* protection - what about us?

Do we really want Lester re-enacting The Quatermass Experiment?

We'll have to plunge the Playmonaut into 100% alcohol on his return - it's the only way to be sure.

I suspect he won't protest too much.

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It's Grand Theft Auto 5 day: Any of you kids remember GTA the First?

Mike Richards

Re: Life imitates art

CoD was blamed by that bastion of journalistic standards, the Mirror, for the Washington Naval Dockyard shootings. It looks like the largely discredited link between video games and violence is still going strong in the tabloids.

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Official crackdown on Apple fanboi 'shanty town' ahead of London iPhone launch

Mike Richards

23 year old estate agent

Hasn't he got an overpriced house to sell someone?

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iPhone 5S: Apple, you're BORING us to DEATH (And you too, Samsung)

Mike Richards

Or they could turn round and look at the printed timetable.

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The Solar System's second-largest volcano found hiding on Earth

Mike Richards

Re: Goin' downtown

It might not be subducted because of its thickness. The plate might refuse to buckle and subduct in which case the Tamu Massif will either be accreted on to the edge of the Eurasian plate as an exotic terrane (such as has happened with a similarly thickened section of oceanic crust in Colombia), or it will be obducted on to the continental plate as an ophiolite (Troodos in Cyprus, much of Oman and the UK's very own Lizard).

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Hunt's 'paperless', data-pimping NHS plan gets another £240m

Mike Richards

With Jeremy Hunt in charge we'll have to assume copies of everyone's medical records are going to News International.

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WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

Mike Richards

EXPLLODES! (exclamation mark strongly recommended)

EXpect

Problems?

Luckily

LOHAN

Only

Descends

Earthwards

Safely

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