* Posts by Roger Kynaston

209 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

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BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

Roger Kynaston

Happy days

Not strictly a printer droids fault but ...

I once worked at a university and a big part of the annual registration process to getting the registration form working. As they had not progressed to proper interfaces between systems the registration form was a 5 part carbon that had to be printed on some ancient serial connected matrix printers. Of course, each year they would redesign the bloody form and it was a different size every time so i had a major fight to fiddle the printer settings to work with it

I actually suggested getting an interface between Student Records and Finance at a meeting and the head of registry went absolutely ballistic.

I wish I had a step ladder now.

5
0

Holy Crap! Bloke finishes hand-built CPU project!

Roger Kynaston
Pint

Can we git it to be PM

Sounds like it would make a better job of the current crop both just departed and future. Must have more processing power than a blonde mop.

Excellent project though and I would vote for either Betchley or Science Museum.

Beer because the builder definitely deserves one and I need lots tonight.

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Put storage inside the individual hosts of a virtual cluster? You're CRAZY... Like a fox

Roger Kynaston

Re: who is actually reading the article?

I read it as well but didn't understand it. In the BS bingo league though this seems to score quite highly and hyper is the new term so I propose we hyperconverge our hypervisors with a hypertext interface. In that way we can realise the full potential of our hyperbole.

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Stuxnet was the opening shot of decades of non-stop cyber warfare

Roger Kynaston
Mushroom

What happens when real people get killed

The trouble with military action is that people will be in the line of fire. Unless this sort of thing targets purely military systems civilians are going to be damaged/killed. Most IT infrastructure is aimed at supporting a countries civilians. Let us suppose that a future Stuxnet is able to make a nuclear reactor melt down ( I know that this is extremely unlikely given all the safety cutouts and such like in that industry). Would such a thing then be classed as a war crime? After all, dropping some ordinance on the reactor would be.

2
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When Capita job ads go BAD

Roger Kynaston
Happy

Good Friday along with BOFH

And it is getting on for Beer o clock as well.

2
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Queen's Speech: Ministers, release the spaceplanes!*

Roger Kynaston

Re: Who's Brenda? @Oor Nonny-Muss

A very many years ago Private Eye had a picture of a much younger Brenda with a speech bubble saying "I hope you realise I didn't write this crap"

I was too young to see it for real but my Father had a ten year compilation of Eyes that the pre teen me used to enjoy reading all the rude words.

2
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IBM invents printer that checks for copyrights

Roger Kynaston

Daft idea

If I want to copyright something. All i do is put

© Roger Kynaston 2016

at the bottom and it is my copyright. Enforcing this is another issue. Will it block anything with the © in it.

0
1

5% of drivers want Nigel Farage to be their in-car robo butler

Roger Kynaston

Rab C Nesbitt

I once had a passenger with a broad glaswegian accent trying to direct me to a place in Bristol - it was highly amusing. Perhaps it should be interspersed with Brian Sewell though.

0
0

We're calling it: World hits peak Namey McNameface

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Friday and there is no

BOFHy McBastardface

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UK.gov is about to fling your data at anyone who wants it. How? Why? Shut up, pleb

Roger Kynaston
Go

One way for plebs to be heard

It is a bit old fashioned but writing to your MP can help. Most of them like receiving post and should forward it to the relevant minister who will then get a mandarin to write some flannel. At least if they get a lot of letters they realise that people are not happy bunnies and may even read one of the well reasoned letters.

Of course if your MP is a time serving pillock you are bit stuffed.

9
0

Siri's maker finally unveils dev-tastic universal AI interface Viv

Roger Kynaston

Not just the Young Ones

All the Vivian's (Viv Richards) and Viviennes (Vivienne Leigh) are not going to be too happy about being reduced to a bot.

0
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Brit polar vessel christened RRS Sir David Attenborough

Roger Kynaston

I pity the poor radio operator

Falmouth Coastguard, Falmouth Coastguard, Falmouth Coastguard. This is RSS David Attenborough, RSS David Attenborough. We are giving notice that we will be deploying diving operations with ROV Boaty McBoatface in Lat blah Long blah. They will trip over everything all the time!

3
0

At last: Ordnance Survey's map wizardry goes live

Roger Kynaston
Pint

Map geek

I'll have to sign up for the paid one though I am going to continue my quest to get all 204 sheets in the Landranger.

Any chance the Admiralty could be persuaded to do something similar given how awful ARCS is?

Beer because a pub should be the end destination of all walks.

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Remain in the EU and help me snoop on the world, says Theresa May

Roger Kynaston
Joke

Re: Kryptonaut

Theresa May most definitely *Cannot* have her wicked way with me!

5
0

US congresscritter's iPhone hacked (with, er, the cell networks' help)

Roger Kynaston
Happy

Re: Maybe it is time for....

I read that as SSB first. I am sure we would all love a return to HAM radio! No privacy but no one has to hack it as it is broadcast in clear for the whole world to listen to.

1
0

Chilling evidence emerges of Kilocat weapon

Roger Kynaston
Pint

First class

Very enjoyable and I for one welcome our thousand feline overlords. Add my virtual beer to the jars for this evening though were I happily in Spain I would like to have a nice bottle of Navarra wine.

1
0

Hey, Atlantis Computing. What the heck is this in your EULA?

Roger Kynaston
Coat

The first rule

The first rule about EULA is that you don't talk about EULA.

I'm off. Got an office party of all things.

1
0

Prof Hawking to mail postage-stamp space craft to Alpha Centauri using frickin' lasers

Roger Kynaston
Happy

funding of projects

If Milner wants to fund an interesting research project - I would be happy for him to get me a Rival 41 and I will verify the effects of rum punch on humans while they sit an anchor in palm fringed anchorages in the Caribbean.

This would need to be a long term research project and of course we would need to check the effects of all sorts of alcohol all over the place. On the upside, the return would be somewhat quicker than a 20 year mission to Alpha Centauri - I estimate 8 to 10 years would allow a thorough investigation.

1
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Dropping 1,000 cats from 32km: How practical is that?

Roger Kynaston

cat types

You'll be grinning from the other side of your face when they land, or not.

3
0
Roger Kynaston
Pint

Definitely Friday and getting on for beer oclock

Class article. Also playmobile or it didn't happen.

OT can we have a real ale beer icon as well?

4
0

Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

Roger Kynaston

Re: Also a Waste of Humanity

just google Gilbert and George for shit art. NSFW though.

1
0

Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

Roger Kynaston

I know that the gun debate is a bit more nuanced than many make it (NRA and control people) but ... No!!

0
1

You can't dust-proof a PC with kitchen-grade plastic food wrap

Roger Kynaston

discussion thread on a sailing forum

Back in the day of newsgroups there was a rather noisy one I lurked on once in a while. It was very east coast US oriented which made it rather boring for someone in Blighty.

Still there was one thread where someone suggested that they could weatherproof their PC by filling it with closed cell foam. There were some jokes about how it could double up as a lifejacket but I never heard how quickly it cooked itself.

9
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Bill Gates can’t give it away... Still crazy rich after all these years

Roger Kynaston
Coat

If he wants to unload

$1.6 million (~£1M). I have my eye on a Rival 41 and ideas about going cruising for a few years. Mine's the red one with reflective tape on it.

3
0

GCHQ spies quashed this phone encryption because it was too good against snoopers

Roger Kynaston
Pint

Re: MP letter-writing time again

I totally agree with you but the current state of our representatives is altogether highly lamentable. I have a long history of writing to my elected representative and in the past was able to get some sort of reasoned response from them. At the very least they would pass my letter to the relevant department so some lowly and overworked civil servant could draft a letter coming out with the accepted flannel of the day.

Now all you get is a stupid email from him saying he sympathises with my concerns but he is still going to do whatever stupid thing they are voting for because you have to balance the interests of blah blah blah.

BTW my MP is Chuka Umunna and it is only since he has left the front bench that he replies at all.

Time to run away to sea methinks.

Beer because I need one now.

3
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Server retired after 18 years and ten months – beat that, readers!

Roger Kynaston
Go

a few years ago

A SPARCServer 1000 finally gave up the ghost and Oracle or it may still have been Sun didn't have the parts so we dug out a slightly less aged E450 to move the app to. It had been running since 1993 I think. Oddly, the disks were a dreadful setup with a series of small disks mirrored onto one larger one using disk suite.

The users hated the application as well as I remember but it took years to migrate to the new one.

1
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Boffins switch on pinchfist incandescent bulb

Roger Kynaston

How will this work with 12v DC?

I replaced my navigation lights with LED a couple of years ago and love only burning 6W at the masthead rather than the original 25W. Also, will they burn out regularly as a trip up a 12 metre mast involves a lot of winch grinding for some poor sod (my wife can't do heights).

Interesting thing though.

2
0

Planet-bonking rock hunt armed with humanity's cruellest weapon: bureaucracy

Roger Kynaston
Pint

Optional

Have a beer for the headline

0
0

Microsoft's 200 million 'Windows 10' 'devices' include Lumias, Xboxes

Roger Kynaston
Happy

200 million devices

So will this be revised down to 199,999,999 when I get around to defenestrating the laptop I bought in December?

2
0

How long until we can build R2-D2 and C-3PO?

Roger Kynaston
Coat

I for one

Welcome our bullet shaped overlords complete with gold plated humanoid interpreters.

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'Powerful blast' at Glasgow City Council data centre prompts IT meltdown

Roger Kynaston
Mushroom

Business Continuity

I wonder if they tried to invoke an underfunded and fundamentally unworkable business continuity plan.

10
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UK research network Janet under ongoing and persistent DDoS attack

Roger Kynaston
Joke

Are you suggesting

that El Reg is not essential for work!? Shame on you.

3
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Fancy flying to Mars? NASA's hiring

Roger Kynaston

why oh why

Can't a scientific organisation like NASA use real measurements. Height needs to be 1.57 to 1.9 metres.

Also why five foot two and not a round 5 (1.5m) feet?

</rant>

3
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Reg reader post-pub chef brews superscharf currywurst

Roger Kynaston

Wasn't there

a Franceshinha in there somewhere?

0
0

Balloon-lofted space podule hits 30,000m

Roger Kynaston
Pint

WANT!!!

Beer because of the bar but I would be too busy watching to need a drink.

Could we jump out of it with a parachute?

2
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Mostly Harmless: Google Project Zero man's verdict on Windows 10

Roger Kynaston
Facepalm

Re: re. "ultimate bug bear"

Not quite a groan but ...

1
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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Roger Kynaston

Meanwhile in the networks office

Dave wondered if the new multimode fibre interconnect might have some compatibility issues with his existing infrastructure.

0
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NASA deep space scope serves up EPIC Earth snapshots

Roger Kynaston
Pint

Nice pics

Could they get the next probe to the outer planets (Pluto Lander?) to turn back and snap us from a very long way away?

Beer because the designers and operators deserve one.

0
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Elderly? Disabled? You clearly need a .38" Palm Pistol

Roger Kynaston

Can't they

combine it with a tablet and then do a tie in with palm pilots?

As others note, this tends to make you despair for the species.

7
0

Wheels come off parents' plan to dub sprog 'Mini Cooper'

Roger Kynaston

hows about

A motorcycle nut (a number of years ago) called his children Vincent and Harley.

And of course you have to remember the late lamented Paula Yates calling her daughters Peaches and Fifitrixibelle.

0
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Nippy, palaver and cockwomble: Greatest words in English?

Roger Kynaston

toing the line

Being of a yottie (I have always liked the reverse snobbery of that word btw) persuasion I am always fascinated by how much of our vocabulary has a seafaring origin - Noting that palaver was imported by jolly jack tars from Portugal - presumably after imbibing quantities of the fortified wine from Portugal's second city.

0
0

Man goes to collect stolen-car court docs found in stolen car in stolen car

Roger Kynaston

Re Only in Murica and in blighty

Many years ago i worked in an Off licence. One Sunday a bottle of our best burgundy (£31 in early nineties) went walkies. We checked the CCTV and identified a probable punter. I had two staff who had lived in the town all their life. Both of them said "oh yes. That is blah." Plod went round to his house and the empty bottle was on the draining board.

He was duly pinched, hauled up before the beak and pleaded guilty. He had to pay it back at £2 a week.

1
0

Slander-as-a-service: Peeple app wants people to rate and review you – whether you like it or not

Roger Kynaston
Mushroom

F*wits

Is all there is to say.

3
0

NEW ERA for HUMANITY? NASA says something 'major' FOUND ON MARS

Roger Kynaston
Happy

rock snakes

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero-X

0
0

NASA announcement of MAJOR MARS DISCOVERY imminent: WHAT can it be?

Roger Kynaston
Pint

Jabberwock

They hast found and slain the Jabberwock!

Beer because I had a lot over the weekend but still need more.

0
0

Gold bugs, concrete bog roll holders and frolic-friendly furniture: What IS it with designers?

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Don't let

that fake leafy pig anywhere near Downing Street!

1
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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Roger Kynaston

model

The wireless model is much more comfortable

0
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What should we do with this chunk of dead air? Ofcom wants to know

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Dead Air? If farms are involved it will be deadly air. OK, I'm off or the associated methane could make for an explosive atmosphere.

0
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MYSTERIES of remote ICE WORLD PLUTO: New pics BAMBOOZLE boffins

Roger Kynaston

Re: "Is it just me or is that last close-up actually the Isle of Wight?...."

Time Warp

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0
Roger Kynaston

IoW

It could be but if so St Catherines point has got a sudden outgrowth into the English Channel. Would make the Round Island Race more interesting.

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