* Posts by TeeCee

9435 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Police 'stumped' by car thefts using electronic skeleton key

TeeCee Gold badge

Obvious.

In both cases the device unlocks the passenger side door and appears to disable the alarm system.....

On many systems, unlocking the door with a key activates the central locking and disables the alarm. This is certainly true of "two button" Bosch systems and probably others as well. Coded negotiation between the fob and ECU is only necessary to disable the immobiliser. It sort of makes sense, you don't want the alarm going off if you've unlocked the thing with the correct key.

My guess would be a box of tricks that manipulates the solenoid on the lock, tricking the system into believing the door's been unlocked with the key.

TeeCee Gold badge

Re: Valuables in your parked car?

Yes but there is one exception to that, as a colleague found out the hard way.

He had a high-end stereo fitted that had a removable faceplate. This he had in his pocket in its little carrying case. When he returned to his car, the police were already there.

The scrotes had broken in. The police explained that around 80% of people stick the stereo faceplate in the glovebox, so they always look there. Unfortunately, of the remaining 20%, most of them lock the thing in the boot.

The damage caused by crowbarring the boot open was worth a lot more than the stereo unit.....

Culture Sec: You - Google. Where's the off switch for all this filth?

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Alert

I sometimes think they have a good point.

Then I think of what Gordon "Stalin" Brown and his coterie of despicable control-freaks would have done with their fingers on the "What everyone's allowed to see on the internet" button and shudder.

Boffins develop 'practically free' sulphur-powered batteries

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WTF?

Re: Baked

Thats rich even by duke standards.

And the rest. The upper end of that's more than a ruddy Honda NR750 cost new......and those were considered eye-wateringly expensive, as you'd expect of a hand-made, limited production machine.

Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast

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Coat

That one never made it into the Bible, but the earliest known reference to an ice-cream manufacturer did:

Walls of Jericho.

--

There's also a passage that states "Moses came down from the mountain in his triumph.". This has caused long theological arguments over whether it was a 2500pi or a Dolomite Sprint......

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Meh

Dear god - you lot even manage to screw kebabs up...

I beg to differ. The same elephant's-foot-onna-stick is used most places for the meat side of it. What I miss from Blighty is serious, arse-burning chilli sauce. You don't seem to be able to get that anywhere else.

Elsewhere in Europe you can actually taste the Doner meat. That's just wrong......

New Tosh 'droid slabs include Newton-like scrawl-pad: We try it out

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Meh

Recognition.

...no match for the quite brilliant handwriting recognition on Windows 8 that, miraculously, makes sense of most hurriedly written notes.

I have to say that MS do seem to be a bit good at that sort of thing.

I used to use WinMo mobile devices with MS's best kept secret, Voice Commander, installed. Its voice recognition and readback, running standalone on an antique ARM processor with very limited memory, was light years ahead of what Google achieve now with all the technological advances since the millenium to play with.

How I wish that they'd port that to Android, so I could have handsfree dialling that picked the right name and number most of the time rather than once in a blue moon and only then if the wind's in the right direction like Android does. Insult upon injury here is that MS VC would read back what it had (usually correctly) selected for confirmation whereas Android's system just goes and dials the (usually wrong) number.

Who wants a 'robot companion'? Look no further than Intel Labs

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Coat

"...a social robot companion..."

Ah. Fucking Terminators.....

Leaks point to new mystery Macs 'with Jony Ive's fingerprints on'

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Joke

Re: Misleading

Damn. There was I expecting the announcement to be a range of Jony Ive signature edition Macs, with his fingerprints cast into the aluminium casing and a huge price markup.

Intel unzips new Atom phone chip: Low power, fast - is that right, ARM?

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Meh

Re: No signs of competition yet

Actually what'll be really interesting is to see what sort of power consumption and grunt can be had from a 64-bit ARM processor with a die-shrink or two from the current, conservative levels.

Maybe Intel will have something in 2015, but I suspect that the major ARM players will have moved the goalposts a fair way by then.

Review: Philips Hue network enabled multicolour lightbulbs

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Facepalm

Re: I can think of one possible use case

Or you could just buy a Philips "Ambilight" TV which does exactly that, only without the overly complicated poncing about with a mobile phone camera.

TeeCee Gold badge

Re: "There's no need to change your light fittings - you can buy screw to bayonet adapters"

@Annihilator

Dunno who downvoted that, becuase you are absolutely correct. The really nasty bit is that when a BC bulb lets go when you're struggling to remove it, you are pressing on it at the time so you get the glass shards embedded in your hand.

I've had several BC bulbs shatter while being removed/refitted and only one ES type (ES bulbs are far more likely to twist off their bases and come away in one piece well before the glass envelope is overstressed). The big problem with BC is that the sprung pins seize in place, as you would expect on anything sliding metal-on-metal and then left for years between uses while oxidation does its stuff on the surfaces. Having lived with each type for several years, I have come to the conclusion that BC is one of the worst pieces of fucking stupid design ever dreamed up by man.

El Reg gets its hands on Haswell fondle-gizmos at posh Tosh bash

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Re: Ergonomics

Correct. Central to the alphameric keyboard beneath the space bar is the right place so, if a numeric keypad is present, that's offset to the left when the whole chassis is considered.

If it were dead centre it'd be about where the heel of your right hand sits when typing.

Unemployed? Ugly? Ugh, no thanks, says fitties-only job website

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WTF?

Re: Poll

Dunno about retarded, but the 1970's called and asked for their shirt and medallion back.

Look out, fanbois! EVIL charger will inject FILTH into your iPHONE

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Meh

Re: Trusting ANYTHING plugging into a USB port....

>> It doesn't mount as a mass storage device till it's told to

Do tell. Every one I've used looks like a mass storage device on plugging into A N Other machine. No intervention required. NB: Does have to be unlocked on connection, but then the article doesn't say whether or not this "fake charger exploit" works on a locked iPhone.....

>> J. Random User doesn't even know the USB debugging setting exists, let alone how to turn it on

Some come with it on by default. Acer? I'm looking at you here.....

Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits

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Happy

Re: Slightly off the wall

Just looked up Siddiq on IMDB for the hell of it, as I reckon he'd be a good candidate for the job:

Birth Name: Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig Abderahman Mohammed Ahmed Abdel Karim El Mahdi

Nickname: Sid

I couldn't read the rest, the surreal contrast there reduced me to incoherent giggling.

Film crew plans dig to find lost burial ground of Atari's E.T.

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Meh

Re: interviewing former employees

Bodes better than spitfire hunting in Burma.

Why? They too had people who were there when it happened and who could say with confidence exactly where the things were buried. Unfortunately, a hole dug in that spot didn't have any Spitfires in it.

There probably are some somewhere around there, the RAF has form for digging a hole and sticking unwanted stuff in it. I remember one bloke telling me that they were doing an audit of an RAF base and found a Norton motorcycle/sidecar combination, still in its crate, that didn't appear on the books. The solution adopted was to dig a hole, as that was rather simpler than sorting out the paperwork.

Fear the Embarrassing Bodies webcam

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Coat

"...video latency problems...."

I hear that they wanted to use Apple's video chat system to avoid that, but nobody's written the BollockTime app yet.

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WTF?

Re: What kind of crazed saddo...

I'm having difficulty reconciling "I'm really embarrassed about this and am having great difficulty even in talking about it" and "I'll happily video my diseased bits for broadcast to the entire audience of Channel 4" as the views of any one person.

Former Microsoft Windows chief: I was right to kill the Start button

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Meh

'....his blog Learning by shipping.'

Maybe, given the speculation on those 100 million licenses, he'll change its name to "Learning from unsold returns" soon?

New EXPLICIT pics support notion of moist, welcoming past for Mars

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Coat

Re: Wibbly wobbly pebbles!

Only you'd get through a shitload more ice cream before the tide comes in.

UN to call for 'pre-emptive' ban on soulless robot bomber assassins

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WTF?

Re: Not sure I get this

....the UN may be referring to re-usable craft rather than fire once.

So the idea is to keep countries that cannot afford to chuck robotic missiles away out of the autonomous warfare business?

Kettle 'which looks like HITLER' brews up sturm in a teacup

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Coat

SIEG BOIL!

Now I understand what the crowds in the old newsreel footage of Nazi rallies were on about. They were telling him to STFU and put the tea on.

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Coat

Re: Product line

I didn't know there was a white supremacist kitchen appliance market,

I guess that's why domestic appliances are usually referred to as "white goods"......

Fancy some mobile filth? New logo tells you when not to bother

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Coat

Re: Save us from the bloody Puritans

I reckon it's about time that we had another round of stuffing them into ships and sending them off across the Atlantic.

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WTF?

Re: One way to tell that a political position is clueless about how the internet works?

We need to be tough on hedges and tough on the causes of hedges.

Obviously a massive deployment of military-grade defoliants is the answer.

China announces giant military hackathon at SECRET Mongolian base

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WTF?

"...amid efforts to adjust to informationalised war".

"Internationalised war"?

Sorry China, some countries have been involved in World wars. Actually, come to think of it, didn't you have a paw in the more recent one? Did the international nature of that pass you by?

Pedantry corner.

TeeCee Gold badge
Happy

Pedantry corner.

Now this is what happens when a serious pedant spots an error.

Review: Samsung Series 5 Ultra Touch Ultrabook

TeeCee Gold badge
Meh

"A cold boot takes about 18 seconds to reach the login screen;"

My shonky old and pedestrian-clocked Core2 equipped Dell handily beats that, courtesy of the Seagate Momentus XT hybrid drive I stuck in it.

Saves all that tiresome poncing about with seperate boot partitions and from those numbers, seems like it may well be faster than whatever SSD Samsung are using there too. I am absolutely mystified as to why manufacturers aren't falling over each other to fit these things as standard.

The only thing I can think of is that they've all tried one and found no advantage, as it takes the things several days of duty cycles for the cacheing algorithm to get its feet under the table.

Yahoo! ready! to! fling! $600m! at! Hulu!

TeeCee Gold badge
WTF?

The perfect target.

At least "Hulu" starts with "Who?", which is what I thought about all their other recent aquisitions.

This is looking more and more like some sort of strategy to get all the internet's lame duck services in one place, so it's easy to kill off the whole lot at once.

'Secret Pentagon papers' show China hacked into Patriot missile system

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Happy

"Also cribbed designs for Blighty's F-35 fighter jet"

I do hope that gave them as much of a laugh as it did us.

Warming: 6°C unlikely, 2°C nearly certain

TeeCee Gold badge
Meh

Re: “Waiting for certainty will fail as a strategy,"

The last two parts are actually very dangerous, as it may trigger overpopulation woes (demographic transition is not an instant process...)

The problem here is that we're already going balls-out on 4, courtesy of that well-known justification; "Oh noes! Think of the children!", while letting 3 go to hell in a bucket. Hence the rather obvious lack of demographic transition.

The trouble is that starving babies and kids' schools make great wallet-openers for a TV campaign, while infrastructure projects and higher education programmes do not.

Still buying CDs?

TeeCee Gold badge
Meh

Re: Quality online isnt as good

The problem I find with FLAC is that support is still terribly limited outside of some phones. My fleet car has a rather nifty hard-disk based system in it which plays digital files, but no FLAC support of course.

I have to confess[1] to using WMA lossless by preference, which more things seem happy with, for this reason.

[1] Yes, it is that embarrassing.

Auto argument losers

TeeCee Gold badge

Re: And TeeCee crucifies Rule3 (was: Auto argument losers).

The rule is: does the grammar or spelling render the post ambiguous?

Well, it caused my train of thought to run a red signal, cross tracks and pile headlong into oncoming heavy freight when I read it the first time.

I felt that a spot of pedantry was called for, purely as revenge for my tortured synapses.

TeeCee Gold badge
Headmaster

Re: Auto argument losers

...just because something is done with a computer does not mean there is no president.

This is a British site, so there is indeed no president here. Presumably you meant "precedent"?

Oops, there goes rule 1.......

Google cyber-knight lances Microsoft for bug-hunter 'hostilities'

TeeCee Gold badge
WTF?

Really?

"....I would advise only speaking to them under a pseudonym, using Tor and anonymous email to protect yourself,”

"Dear Kettle. I am very worried about the use you might put my personal information to, were I to let you have it. Signed Pot."

Security boffins say music could trigger mobile malware

TeeCee Gold badge
Happy

Obvious application.

A mod that causes the device to dump the contents of its battery across the headphone jack whenever an analysis of the sound output indicates that rap music is being played.

Aversion therapy and a course in the electric foxtrot in one simple package.

Hot new battery technologies need a cooling off period

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Facepalm

Re: The battery is only one part of the problem

That's an issue for longer trips,

Or just "an issue" full stop. When it comes to efficiency and eco-friendlyness building and running two cars, when only one is really required, is beaten out by using a steam vehicle fueled by burning old tyres.

Sky News Google Play page defaced

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Meh

And one of the few things in the world that presents less of a credible threat than the Syrian non-electronic army.....

The Tomorrow People jaunt back to the airwaves

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Coat

Re: They're a bit old aren't they?

That explains a lot.

Most of us discovered girls instead.....

Lego X-wing fighter touches down in New York's Times Square

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WTF?

"...after being certified as strong enough under the state's seismic requirements..."

Yes, because if it were to convert itself into a large pile of lego bricks due to an earthquake that would be, er, mildly inconvenient.

I sometimes wonder if anyone ever looks at some of the things their well-meaning legislation gets applied to and thinks; "This is actually very silly."

Paul Allen buys lovingly restored vintage V-2 Nazi ballistic missile

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Coat

Re: Fired in Anger?

I dunno. Assembling the launching system would seem to provide numerous opportunities for trapped fingers and there's always the possibility of some arsehat driving the delivery transport over your foot.

So it's quite possible that a few were fired in anger.....

Did Kim Dotcom invent 2-factor authentication? Er, not exactly...

TeeCee Gold badge
Happy

Re: I think he holds both patent and prior art ...

You beat me to it. I was just going to suggest that we start referring to him as "Kim Bellend" around here, seeing as his last name is a bit of a moveable feast anyway.

'Google IS a capitalist country... er, company'

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Happy

Re: Long intro statements

Or there's this approach:

INSIDE GCHQ: Welcome to Cheltenham's cottage industry

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Coat

"you might wonder if it inspired Steve Jobs’ plans for a new circular Apple building"

Actually I think they're both inspired by something rather earlier.

"One ring to rule them all......."

Happy 23rd birthday, Windows 3.0

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Alert

Re: Was it an OS?

Speaking as one of those involved...

Let the blamefest begin!

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Meh

Re: How many hours wasted?

Yes, the install took less than a minute, but copying the floppies to the hard drive........(!)

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Re: "popular app Notepad"

Based on the powerful editing component Scintilla, Notepad++ is written in C++ and uses pure Win32 API and STL....

Probably a difficult port then. Nearest thing for Linux may be the Scintilla based SciTE.

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WTF?

Re: "popular app Notepad"

It was popular because all we had was edlin before that...

MS-DOS's "edit" (DOS 4 and up) passed you by then? That was actually quite good......

STROKE this mouse to make apps POP, says Microsoft

TeeCee Gold badge
Meh

Release timing.

You should have saved that snide dig for when their gesture sensors ship, which may actually make TIFKAM vaguely usable in a traditional desktop environment.

That's something that they really should have had on the shelves / built into displays before foisting this shit on us.