* Posts by TeeCee

7376 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Ballmer's billion-dollar blunders: When he gambled Microsoft's money and lost

TeeCee
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FAIL

Hmmm....

I can see MS's mistake.

Not only were they at home to Mr Cockup when he called, they invited him in and let him run the place.

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Sydney adopts 'world's first' e-ink parking signs

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Re: Disconenction

but what about the sat nav on my dash that doesn't know about this event.

Maybe you should think about getting one that understands TMS so it does know about this sort of thing?

Then of course there's the whole "connected car" thing on the way...... which seems to have a massive trailerload of FAIL in tow so it's probably best to stick with the working stuff we have now.

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If Microsoft made laptops, it'd make this: HP Spectre x360

TeeCee
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Facepalm

"a full-sized HDMI socket, a Mini DisplayPort "

I don't suppose it also has something that you might expect to find on that antique beamer you're expected to use for your off-site presentation?

Not to mention that if you get a modern installed one in the ceiling this invariably comes with 15 pin VGA connectors scattered at handy points around the conference room. So, while it may well have other ports, getting at them means finding a very long lead and standing on the table on tiptoes to plug it in.....

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ICANN further implicated in .Africa controversy

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Facepalm

FFS, it's Africa!

If you want to know what really happened, follow the money.

Somewhere there'll be a series of large bribes........ there always is.

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Google gives away 100 PETABYTES of storage to irritate AWS

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Hmm, I wonder which is actually cheaper. Enough BD jukeboxes and (re)writable media to handle that much, or a metric fucktonne of el-cheapo rotating rust with a bit of flashy cacheing......?

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BURN ALL BLOGS! WordPress has a critical cross-site scripting flaw

TeeCee
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Meh

"WordPress has a critical XSS flaw"

Gosh, really? Is there a "Y" in the day or something?

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All wristjobs are as insecure as $#@%, reveals unsurprising research

TeeCee
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Meh

"a cultural allergy to crypto."

Hmm. These are watches, right? So, small cases, bugger all capability to dissipate heat[1], tiny underpowered CPUs, small low-capacity batteries.

You'd almost suspect that every CPU clock-cycle is a precious thing to be fought over, just like in old skool computing.

[1] Worse still, any heating of the case is going to be noticed and vociferously complained about by its wearer.

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How British spies really spy: Information that didn't come from Snowden

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Re: Why are they not more often in the news ?

Why has that not been trumpeted in the news ?

Presumably in an attempt to prevent happening exactly what has happened now World+Dog knows it's going on.

All the scrotes moving to using secure / encrypted comms as a matter of course.

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Hacking Team had RATted on Android: Trend Micro

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Re: Getting better and better

A factory reset on Android wipes user data and reloads from the system image. If you've rooted an Android device, you'll have already found that it's perfectly possible to update software in the system image and/or add applications to it.

So if you have a root exploit and pop your scroteware in as a system app, it'll survive a reset. The only way of getting rid of it with conventional weapons is to reflash the device with a clean image, at which point it will reset from that.

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AI finally understands primitive sketches – aka marketing presentations

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Extra mile?

All well and good, but while it's riffling though and decoding a slide deck can it also fill out a Wankword Bingo card for me?

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Jeep drivers can be HACKED to DEATH: All you need is the car's IP address

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Facepalm

Words fail me.

Given that it is well known that anything connected to the Internet will be attacked and had better be 100% bloody bulletproof[1], didn't anyone think that a "connected car" was a Really, Really, Seriously Fucking Stupid Idea?

In fact, as stupid ideas go, that's one of the more stupid ones as the risk / benefit doesn't even begin to stack up: Benefit: Facebum on the move. Risk: Horrific flaming death.

[1] Yeah, right. One of the tools you will require here is a reliable crystal ball so that you can have foreknowledge of all the possible attack vectors that will be invented over the lifespan of your product.

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Reg top tip: Don't have the same name as someone else if you use Facebook's Instagram

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John Smith? Isn't he dead?

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Fragmented Android development creating greater security risks

TeeCee
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Meh

Translation

What they said: "helped the manufacturers fix those problems."

What this actually means: "Made sure that the manufacturers won't make these particular mistakes again in their new products. Much as we'd have liked them to issue fixes for their existing user base, they all told us to get knotted."

The problem with allowing a wide variety of hardware and letting manufacturers customise the O/S[1] is that this customisation is being done by cheapskate fucks who regard any design more than a year old as obsolete and any effort spent supporting such as money down the crapper.

[1] MS found exactly the same with WinMo. The clever thing Google have done with Android is managed to get people to actually blame the device's maker when the thing's an unreliable bag of shite rather than the O/S itself. MS never managed this very important bit of sleight-of-hand marketing.

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'It's better to burn out, than to fade away on worst audio in history'

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Re: Nothing new for Neil Young

He's also a big fan of guitar effects pedals. Three of the most popular of which (fuzz, flanger and phaser) exist to reproduce that "AM radio" sound.

I guess it's less about distortion of the music and more who controls the distortion(!)

I also don't recall him, back in the day, refusing to allow cassette sales or banning his stuff being played through anything sporting a noddy graphic equaliser[1]......

[1] Cassette and the eighties boom box. The greatest crime against music ever. Bar none.

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Bill Hicks: 25 years on from the cult comedian's big break

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"a chain-smoker despite occasionally quitting for short periods."

He worked that into his act too (from memory):

"Those of you who've seen me before will expect me to do some stuff on the pleasures of smoking about now. Well, it ain't going to happen as I've given up."

Heckler: "Boooooo".

"Boo? BOOO? What the fuck is that supposed to be? If I was sitting where you are, watching Bill Hicks and hearing him say that he'd given up smoking, I'd be standing on my fucking chair yelling 'JUUUDAAAAS!!!!!'..."

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Ideal solar system for SECOND EARTH found – and it's just 186 light-years away

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Is there anyone out there?

Using that as an indicator of intelligent life would mean that, if there is anyone there and they've thought of it, they'll have written this place off as having inhabited worlds.

Not much by way of radio here 186 years ago......

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Someone at Subway is a serious security nerd

TeeCee
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On yer bike: Hammerhead satnav for cyclists – just don't look down

TeeCee
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Re: Rules are for you too.

I call bollocks!

If that were true TPTB would have fitted the lights with a camera by now. They wouldn't let a revenue opportunity like that go untapped.

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Nissan Juke Nismo RS: Family hot-hatch SUV that looks a bit like Darth Vader's hat

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Legal issue?

I have to admit I like the way the Juke looks....

Should you be driving with eyesight that poor?

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Uber to drivers: You make a ton of dosh for us – but that doesn't make you employees

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Happy

Re: Wrong subtitle Reg

Or:

"Super Cali court distrust of Uber hocus-pocus".

That scans.

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Brit teen who unleashed 'biggest ever distributed denial-of-service blast' walks free from court

TeeCee
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Mushroom

Translation required.

the court heard the teen suffered from a mental illness at the time of the web assaults, had dropped out of school and shunned his family, but had later showed "complete and genuine remorse."

Translation:

"Made enough cash from being a rancid shitstain that he was able to hire a decent brief to both bullshit the judge and also coach him in doing so"

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Google's new view of the world takes two pics to make 'DeepStereo' 3D

TeeCee
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The is nothing new under the sun.

Machine learning imagines the missing pixels....

You mean just like organic learning has been doing for countless millennia?

The human eye is a bit crap....okay very crap....okay, by comparison to camera systems, mind-numbingly crap. Your eye picks up a small part of the image you see and only part of that in any serious detail. Your brain stitches all the seen bits together into one image and enhances detail in the bits that don't have it. What you see has way more to do with post processing than with optical imaging....

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'Facebook without sin' attracts 0.00006 times as many users as Facebook

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Re: Surprise!

Well, DUH!

Obviously they send a killer machine back through time to kill your parents.

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Google yanks fake Android battery monitor

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WTF?

Hmm.

....the app is hard to delete – with admin privileges, it's beyond the ordinary user, and there's an extra nasty. A separate persistence package called com.nb.superuser runs on a different thread and survives deletion of the main app.

So the Android uninstall process doesn't then? Sounds like there's a sodding great hole somewhere in the Android security model if it's even possible for a user app installation to root the bloody thing to that extent.

Fixing that would be a good start to preventing this sort of thing.

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THIS MEANS WAR between USA and Japan! GIANT ROBOT WAR

TeeCee
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Happy

Re: Errrr ...

Or landmate......or guymelef........or labor.......etc, etc.

Actually I think that the whole 'part of Japanese culture' thing is slightly understated. They have more words for the piggin' things than Eskimos have for snow.

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Migrating from WS2003 to *nix in a month? It ain't happening, folks

TeeCee
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What? Again?

The truth of the matter is that like-for-like applications do not exist in almost every case.

Hear, hear. Reminds me of the recent HP / Oracle debacle. The number of utter 'tards who trotted out "You can just migrate to ${open_source_database}, what's the problem?", was quite scary. The problem with that "solution" is, of course, Oracle Financials.....

In the real world, it's the applications that are important. Which O/S, database and such are used is immaterial, save in that they must support the applications the business requires.

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'The server broke and so did my back on the flight to fix it'

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Re: That is a really idiotic design choice.

Hmm, I tend to sneak a look at the junction layout picture as, with a complex junction, the voice direction for turns, merges and changes is invariably too early, too late or complete bollocks.

Easier to look and see where it expects you to end up and then work it out yourself with the aid of the signage.

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Les Américains order a MEEELLION doughnuts ... from French baker

TeeCee
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WTF?

My head exploded.

"we offer a smaller-than-standard sized doughnut purposefully geared towards the American market."

Er, surely that should be larger, as in "unfeasibly colossal". There's a reason why lardbucketry is rampant amongst the left-pondians and it's the size of the food portions provided.

I once went to a nouvelle cuisine restaurant in San Matteo. I did wonder how the yanks would square the "small portion artistically presented in the middle of a plate" thing with their eating habits. The answer to that little conundrum turned out to be plates 2' 6" across......(!)

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Giddy Google Glass gazers, beware! FCC filing obscures view on new gadget

TeeCee
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FAIL

Re: The "GG" in that name could point to ...

It would seem that the context-sensitive adbot in use around these parts has decided it stands for "GiffGaff".....

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It’s 2015 and we're being told not to send credit cards as cleartext

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Sending card details in plaintext.

Any expats based in Europe renewed their passports recently?

Do the bunch of outsourcing thieves[1] based in Paris still force you to do this as the only[2] method of payment they'll accept?

Dunno which Civil Servant decided to remove the responsibility from the various embassies and set that up instead, but with that track record of sheer fucking idiotic incompetence they're probably a Permanent Secretary by now.

[1] With the extortionate markup they charge on return postage, the markup on the usual passport costs and the fact that, if you call them, they bill your credit card, per minute, on top of the premium rate number they force you to use, that is the correct word.

[2] They're based in France so, while there is some electronic payment method available, this doesn't work outside France as it's uniquely French, as per usual there.

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Silly Google's Photos app labelled BLACK PEOPLE as GORILLAS

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Thumb Up

Re: AI is hard

Unintentional from an AI standpoint...

Yup, the important bit about an insult is the intent. A "perceived insult" isn't actually an insult at all, just a misunderstanding.

Trouble is that the legal system tends to reward people for acting pigshit-thick and misunderstanding as much as possible.

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Wikipedia jumps aboard the bogus 'freedom of panorama' bandwagon

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Mushroom

Oh yes!

The European Parliament cannot actually write legislation..

An important point that cannot be made often enough.

I can't help thinking that the purchase of a rubber stamp with the word "APPROVED" on it and a red ink pad could save the EU a good few million EUR each year. It'd do the same job equally as well as the current setup and they could even buy two, to have one in Brussels and one in Strasbourg, to save the cost of moving it back and forth every month.

They'd lose the figleaf of democracy, but it wouldn't actually change anything in practice as all the actual power is held by the Politburo Commission who are appointed rather than elected anyway.

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LG won't fix malware slinging bloatware update hole

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Not Surprised

Hmm, it's not just third-parties buggering Android.

The app update model is b0rken. When the new version of an app is cattle-trucked, you're left with an official choice of being stuffed or reverting to whatever antique version is sat in ROM[1]. Going back to last known working involves tracking down the .apk, turning on install from untrusted and doing it yourself.

In a word, "maps". On my Ascend P6, versions since 8.x go titsup on invocation with a nasty library API error. Something to do with the "more opportunities for us to punt crap at you"[2] functionality that Google built in from 9 objecting to something in the Huawei build.

[1] Of course, if it's an app you installed, rather than one supplied with the phone, your options are more limited....!

[2] I can't see anything else in the release notes that differentiates 9 from 8. The Googly deafness on this one supports the idea that what's at fault is something that makes them cash and that they thus won't allow to be turned off.

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TeeCee
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Besides, the real reason is that if they did validate the server certificate, everyone's phone would throw errors each and every time they forgot to keep it up to date.

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Congratulations! You survived the leap secondocalypse

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: All is not well, though

defaulting to Google's time servers that are not offered or guaranteed to work in the future

Not the first time (hah!). Doesn't seem that long ago that the Time Zone Database, providing an "everything you need to know about times and dates" service, got taken down due to some troll wielding its IP. Cue outrage.

My perspective at the time was that the rights and wrongs of the takedown were rather less important than the fact that use of said service was squirreled away in a load of software libraries, used by just about everything and yet was reliant on the good graces of one bloke maintaining it in his spare time for its existence.

As it turned out, ICANN picked up the service and the world carried on turning, although I still wonder what would have happened had the patent troll actually had legs to stand on......(!)

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Which side of the road to drive?

TeeCee
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Happy

Re: Which side of the road to drive?

Don't worry, you get used to it really quickly. Many people worry about changing gear with the other hand, I've never even noticed this.

Secret is to concentrate when approaching roundabouts and right turns, especially first thing in the morning or just after leaving a motorway. This is where the "wrong way" fuckup will occur if it's going to.

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TeeCee
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Re: Conformity

and should swap to the right.

Not even possible these days.

For around 40 years now, the junctions of major roads have been very carefully designed to encourage acceleration on joining and deceleration on exit. Likewise, newer roundabouts, gyratory systems and one-way systems are carefully designed to provide good flow and sightlines in one, and only one, direction. Just reversing that little lot, for obvious safety reasons, was costed at many hundreds of billions in the 1990's (last time it was looked at).

That's before you factor in signage and other such changes.

Elephant in the room is the stonking safety issue of having the majority drive on the right in RHD cars for many years.

Note that Japanese cars are innately RHD and yet do not seem to be significantly cheaper than converted German, French et. al. cars.

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Microsoft in Blighty reveals its 78 THOUSAND POUND Surface 3 slabloid

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Joke

Re: Two! Nine A! The number of the beast!

Dear Sir,

We wish to inform you that our client, Apple Computers, holds all relevant trademarks and patents relating to The Beast(tm), The Number Of The Beast(tm) and Hordes Of Zombie Slaves Of The Beast(tm), which they actively exercise in connection with their business of achieving world domination through mind control.

We take a very dim view of your encouragement of Microsoft to infringe our client's rights and require you to cease and desist forthwith.

Yours etc,

Messrs Hangem and Floggem, Solicitors and Commissioners for Oaths.

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Crowdfunded beg-a-thon to bail out Greece raises 0.003% of target

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Re: Ignorance of the issue

Said Eurozone implosion wouldn't have been the fault of Greece anyway, it's Germany you should be looking very hard at here.

Much was made at the time of the fiscal fudging that went on to allow Greece and Italy into the Euro, yet the German elephant in the room was quietly ignored as it's unfixable.

The problem is the German constitution and the Bundesbank (and we have the Allied Powers immediately postwar to thank for this). In a fit of rabid paranoia over the hyper-inflation of the Wiemar Republic and its results, the Bundesbank is fearsomely independent and has as an overriding goal the control of inflation. This can be Good Thing as it stops their version of the loony left tax 'n spending their way to bankruptcy (c.f. Gordon Brown, the current greek mob, etc).

The slight snag in this arrangement with the Euro is that if the European Central Bank were ever to set interest rates that conflicted with the requirements of the Bundesbank, it's hello constitutional crisis in DE and a rapid "gexit". Unfixable, as there ain't a cat in hell's chance of getting the required votes in Germany to change the setup. The net effect is that the allegedly independent CEB running the Euro for all countries is actually the Bundesbank's poodle.

When the PIIGS states started overheating (remember the "Celtic Tiger" and such?), everyone expected a hike in interest rates from the CEB of somewhere north of 0.5% to suppress this. At the same time the Bundesbank predicted a slight slowdown in the German economy, so what we actually got was a 0.5% cut in rates.

The effect on the Euro periphery was like pouring petrol on a fire[1] and the rest is history.

[1] And had the side-effect of causing growth rather than recession in DE, compounding the fuckup, as the PIIGS blew loads of cheap credit on products by Porsche, Mercedes, Miele, etc ad nauseum.

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Get READY: Scientists set to make TIME STAND STILL tonight

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Re: Tackle the problem at source

Great idea, I'm in.

Which direction do you want us all to run in and when?

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China's best phone yet: Huawei P8 5.2-inch money-saving Android smartie

TeeCee
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Meh

Radios.

These features crank up the rate at which the chipset looks for a Wi-Fi........signal

So, does it have the Achilles' heel of the P6 in this area? Bluetooth streaming cuts out every time it sees a Wi-Fi signal due to the cheapskate use of one 2.4Ghz transceiver running multiple stacks. Should be even worse with that feature if so.

A right PITA (and illegal, cough) if you're already on the motorway and have to juggle the bloody thing one-handed to turn off WiFi so the music works without interruption.

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Ofcom: We need 5G spectrum planning for the future’s ultramobes

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Facepalm

Crystal ball?

...try and make those spectrum decisions on imperfect knowledge.”

Which sounds better than "guesswork", even if it means exactly the same thing. Presumably OFCOM are looking to hire Mystic Meg as a consultant in order to firm up those 5G requirements.

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LG's six-sided battery to take smart watches into new timezones

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WTF?

Re: award to LG for best photoshop ever?

That is a bit shit, isn't it?

Still trying to work out if any of the elements in shot were actually in the same place at the same time.....

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KRAKKOOM! SpaceX Falcon supply mission to ISS EXPLODES minutes after launch

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... lost contact with the rocket due to "some type of anomaly"....

That'll be what was said in the frantic interval between the telemetry disappearing and them finally sticking their heads out the window to find that it's gone off bang.

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Gates: Renewable energy can't do the job. Gov should switch green subsidies into R&D

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Facepalm

He's close....

As I have observed before, getting a meaningful agreement on what to do about warming is proving impossible, so the chances of anything we're doing now (or looking to do in the foreseeable future) making any difference at all is somewhere around fuck all.

So, yes, stick the money into R&D, but R&D to find answers to living with a warmer climate, not into yet more pointless greenery.

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Samsung vows to stop knackering Windows Update on your laptops

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Black Helicopters

...to make sure Samsung's hardware drivers were not removed or overridden by Microsoft's upgrades....

Hmm. Now you'd have thought that updated drivers were a Good Thing, unless of course the supplied ones have something else built in that they're getting a kickback for.....

Maybe it is Lenovo all over again, but we just haven't dug far enough to find the root (hah!) cause yet. It would make more sense.

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Space station cabbage: To boldly grow where no veg has grown before

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Happy

Re: Dumb Question

See Mir, cheapskate[1] Russians, manual docking and remote control for a real world[2] example here. According to Mike Foale, who was onboard at the time, it's quite nasty.

[1] They had an automated docking system, but it was made in the Ukraine. When the Soviet Union went titsup, the Ukrainians decided that they were not going to provide this for free. The Russians decided that fitting a TV screen and rudimentary remote controls in Mir itself would allow manual docking of unmanned resupply craft and What Could Possibly Go Wrong promptly did.

[2] Okay, offworld then.

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Bloke called Rod struck by lightning for second time

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Re: re how many are called Rod

Noah? Fresh and original??

That one came out of the ark....

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BOFH: Don't go changing on Friday evenings, I don't wanna work that hard

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Re: It's my motto

He didn't say what they were pints of........

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Courtney Love in the crossfire! Paris turns ugly over Uber

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WTF?

"The Uberpop app connects private, non-professional drivers with passengers..."

Well that has to be the dumbest idea in the history of dumb ideas.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong? Ah yes, I know. 90+% of people wouldn't know their car had a serious, even life-threatening, fault unless the car said; "I have a serious, even life-threatening, fault" as they approached it (and even then, they'd probably drive it anyway). The sort of people who are trying to scrounge a few extra quid by moonlighting as a fake taxi are by definition not the sort who will drop the necessary quiddage to keep their car professionally maintained and in top-top condition. You'd need your bumps felt to use this system.

Most countries with any degree of common sense force licensed taxis to be inspected rather more frequently and seriously than the cursory[1] once-over most vehicles get for this reason.

[1] I've seen a few things with a new MOT that have "Death Trap" written all over them. Likewise I've seen failures for no good reason. It's Lucky Lotto out there.

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