Re: Ah, zee british sense of humour,....
No, no, no. Horses for courses.
We outsource any retreating / losing / being occupied to the French.
We outsource the "finally getting our arses into gear and getting stuck into the fight way too late to save the French" bit to the Americans.
If it goes a bit Pete Tong we fall back on the strategy of getting the Russians involved, as they have more soldiers than anyone else has bullets.
Our army is the best in the world at finding a convenient spot to stop and brew tea while talking about how the war's going.