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* Posts by TeeCee

7138 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Suffering satellites! Goonhilly's ARTHUR REBORN for SPAAAACE

TeeCee
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" including the part that houses its (BTs) subsea cable station."

I don't suppose the lads down there could "accidently" cut through it occasionally?

You never know, the bastards might start to understand what a PITA that is.

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Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

TeeCee
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Only a problem until AIs are developed.

Once we have AI control, the AIs concerned will decide: "It doesn't matter what we do, we'll be sued to next Christmas one way or the other" and both drive off the cliff together.

What we need to do is address the root cause of the problem. This will be a most satisfying solution as it basically involves shooting lawyers.....

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TeeCee
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Happy

Re: When I drive on twisty mountain roads

You're far better off in a tank.

That way, in the case of an inevitable head-on collision on a single track mountain road, you can take preemptive action to ensure that your paint doesn't get scratched.

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NOKIA - Not FINNished yet! BEHOLD the somewhat DULL MYSTERY DEVICE!

TeeCee
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"Nokia said China would receive it first"

Next week: Nokia announce new fuels division, first shipments of coal to Newcastle expected in new year.

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Ofcom tackles complaint over Premier League footie TV rights

TeeCee
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Really?

You mean that people in the UK are more interested in UK football then those in other countries and are thus prepared to pay more for it and that this, in turn, leads to domestic broadcasters being prepared to bid higher for the rights than their continental counterparts?

Who could possibly have seen that coming?

Presumably the next revelation will be that the rights to Serie A sell for more in Italy than they do here.

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Heyyy! NICE e-bracelet you've got there ... SHAME if someone were to SUBPOENA it

TeeCee
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Happy

Hmm, I see an angle.....

The plaintiff will go through an "assessment" period wearing a Fitbit and running the numbers through Vivametrica to see how she compares to other women.

So a few weeks slobbing it on the sofa = bigger payoff. Where do I sign up?

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'Scope boffins get INSIDE URANUS after snapping mystery spots

TeeCee
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Yup, there's always going to be a severe reaction when something smashes into Uranus.

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Who will be Europe's privacy champion? Oh, go on then, Mr Deputy

TeeCee
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Devil

"EU officials say the hold up was with the entire shortlist."

I'm guessing that nobody on there was related to, screwing or employed as gardener / decorator / dentist by a European Commissioner. Thus they didn't have a Scooby who to vote for.

Hmm. If we had a "hotbed of nepotism and graft" icon, what would it look like?

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Google+ goes TITSUP. But WHO knew? How long? Anyone ... Hello ...

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: Titsup

Put it this way. If it were "Lying on its back with its legs in the air", a well-known way of saying "Dead", "Knackered", "Utterly cattle-trucked", etc, which way would its tits be facing?

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One million people have bonked on London public transport

TeeCee
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Devil

Re: Card clash detection

Not registered? Well, then you cant apply for a refund anyway.

Aaaannnnnndddd there it is.

Somewhere in this lot there had to be a trick to force you to register your details, so the evil fuckers can flog all that juicy data off to the marketing vultures[1].

[1] No offence.

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What's a Chromebook good for? How about running PHOTOSHOP?

TeeCee
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Meh

Hmm.

Adobe's flagship software running on bargain kit

IIRC, the price of the kit required to run it has never been the showstopper cost issue with Photoshop.

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Consumers agree to give up first-born child for free Wi-Fi – survey

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Ts & Cs.

Hardly surprising. All the hotspot Ts & Cs I've ever seen were presented as a page of small print obviously composed for a full desktop browser and utterly bleedin' illegible on any screen size below 19".

I don't read the sodding things either.....

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EU to accuse Ireland of giving Apple an overly peachy tax deal – report

TeeCee
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Squeeze 'em 'til the pips squeak...

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'Google is NOT the gatekeeper to the web, as some claim'

TeeCee
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"This is a false flag by /whichever agency/, probably NSA or something."

Paranoia much?

Meanwhile, in the real world, the likes of the NSA have real work to do, which doesn't include mounting elaborate operations to discredit those whose threat level is somewhere around fuck all on their scale.

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What the 4K: High-def DisplayPort vid meets reversible USB Type C

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Nirvana

Hint: If using proper cables, the side with the USB logo on it goes upwards. This even works in the dark by touch.

IMHO, SATA leads are the worst ruddy things to try to fit blind. Handed, sides indistinguishable and damned tricky to get in if access is poor when the right way round.

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'Kim Kardashian snaps naked selfies with a BLACKBERRY'. *Twitterati gasps*

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: ok, but seriously...

By sheer coincidence today's press have "Rihanna's naughty photos hacked" articles all over the place.

Presumably her PR company are livid over the lost revenue........

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TeeCee
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Alert

Someone call the ASA!

It seems that in their frantic desperation to drum up the odd sale or two, !=RIMs advertising hasn't so much crossed the line as flown over it and nuked it in passing.

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Dotcom owns up: my name was 'poison'

TeeCee
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"my name was 'poison'"

Ah! Now I understand why he changed it......

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Getting to the BOTTOM of the great office seating debate

TeeCee
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"...mainly covered in soft furnishings this year."

Oooooh, now where have I seen partitions completely covered in cloth before?

Ah yes, the old shabby ones left over from the eighties.

I wonder how much their designers get paid for looking at the old crap in other people's skips for ideas....?

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JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

TeeCee
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Meh

Or put another way.

When asked about the outcome a few days ago, Bing coughed up the latest poll results.

Like everyone else.

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Stray positrons caught on ISS hint at DARK MATTER source

TeeCee
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Joke

"Stray positrons"

Just £2.99 a month will let you adopt a positron.

You'll get a picture of your positron, a monthly newsletter telling you all about the work of the Positron Sanctuary* and, as a special offer this week only, a cuddly positron hand-crafted from dark matter plush.

*The positron sanctuary is a registered charity in England and Wales.

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One sixth of the ENTIRE PLANET will buy a new smartphone this year

TeeCee
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How do you feel?

One in six human beings are set to buy a new smartphone this year....

Bloody sheep. Boy do I feel smug that I bucked the trend and bought one last year!

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Got your NUDE SELFIES in the cloud? Two-factor auth's your best bet for securing them

TeeCee
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Alert

Here's the problem.

In order to keep your naughty pics safe, the lads responsible for maintaining whichever service you've put 'em on need to get it right 100% of the time. That's every update checked up down back and sideways. Every third-party software change audited and tested to hell and back. Every call-centre grunt able to spot the difference between a customer with lost access credentials and someone pretending to be such with 100% accuracy. Etc ad nauseum.

The miscreants only have to get it right once......

I'm afraid that Ricky Gervais was absolutely right. Trouble is that with cloud processing and storage being such huge business right now and soooo convenient, nobody wants to hear it and its preferable to shoot the messenger rather than run the gravy train into the buffers.

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TeeCee
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Gimp

Re: NUDE SELFIES + 2FA

An ideal approach for masochists.

When some scrote cracks your security, you get a cast iron excuse to saw your nipples off and staple on new ones!

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TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Pet password hates

The KeePass data file is synchronised to my mobile via DropBox

So, to summarise:

Keeping your nude selfies in the cloud = Bad.

Keeping all your passwords in the cloud = Good.

Really?

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First Irish boy band U2. Now Apple pushes ANOTHER thing into iPhones, iPods, iPads

TeeCee
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Re: Doesn't matter if the features have been available for years...

Those ;poor sods who waved thier wallets at the barriers yesterday -- and got thier credit cards charged for the priviledge as well as the Oyster card?

Now you'd have thought that in the design of NFC, the ability to pick which thing you wanted to talk to out of the etheric chatter and set up a link with that and that alone would be a "must have".

Just goes to show what a right heap of shit that standard is.

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TeeCee
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WTF?

Well that's Samsung for you. Slavishly copying Apple's future innovations again....

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Mexicans! accuse! Yahoo! of! using! corrupt! judge! to! dodge! $2.7bn! payout!

TeeCee
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Black Helicopters

Such a lack of shock that one can't help wondering if two Mexican companies bribing a Mexican Judge in Mexico to get the original 2.7bn is more likely than their version of events.......

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Google purchases petite pollster Polar, purloined ppl punted Plus-wards

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: Social online polling? what could possibly go wrong?

Next week: How to prove the existence of the Bavarian Illuminati by studying soft cheeses.

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Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport

TeeCee
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formal Professional Standards Investigation

I guess that this is Oz wankword-spik for "monumental bollocking".

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Rosetta's comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko is one FUGLY space rock

TeeCee
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Re: It looks like the light-cycle from Tron

I think that picture 3 looks like the Starship Enterprise after a particularly severe kicking from the Klingons.

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AMD's first 64-bit ARM cores star in ... Heatless in Seattle*

TeeCee
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Re: Why compare it to a Xeon?

Imagine what we'd see if Intel got off their x86 hobby horse and used that same ability to build some ARM parts.

That would require a massive volte face and would contain an implicit admission that the decision to flog off Xscale was indeed the massive cockup it appears to be to everyone else.

Presumably the shareholders would then ask some difficult questions about the cost of reinventing that particular wheel and expect anyone still around who was involved in that decision to fall on their swords.

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Stephen Hawking biopic: Big on romance, not so much with the science?

TeeCee
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Dumbing down the Physics.

Is that dumbing down by our standards or his?

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China cracks down on instant messengers: Users must hand over REAL NAMES

TeeCee
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Re: Real user names??

Yeah, not like They don't know exactly who you are[1] anyway..

[1] and where you live, what you look at online, your router's SSID and MAC address, what you bought recently, your inside leg measurement.....etc ad nauseum.

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Dell The Man shrieks: 'We've got a Bitcoin order, we've got a Bitcoin order'

TeeCee
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Trollface

Coincidence?

Last week: Article about some bunch making off with an estimated 85k in Bitcoins.

This week: Article about someone buying 50k's worth of Dell kit for Bitcoins.

Next week: Glut of shiny, new Dell kit on Fleabay???

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Network hijacker steals $83,000 in Bitcoin ... and enough Dogecoin for a cup of coffee

TeeCee
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I guess that medieval Venice just hasn't got the wealth and clout it used to have.....

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'Be super careful with AI. It's potentially more dangerous than NUKES'

TeeCee
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Alert

Hmm.

Musk reckons that AI is up there with nuclear war in terms of apocalyptic potential and he’s sinking his money into it....

I don't suppose by any chance that he's also bought an island with an extinct volcano on it recently and started some major construction work there?

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Top Ten 802.11ac routers: Time for a Wi-Fi makeover?

TeeCee
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Facepalm

And the point is......?

For applications up to ten metres with LOS to the router, I find a piece of wire does the job just fine.

It's the "two floors up and half a house away" jobs that are the realm of WiFi, which is where anything operating in 5Ghz stops being a router and magically turns into a chocolate teapot.

As far as I can see, the only way these make sense is if you live in an overpriced bedsit[1] near Silicon Roundabout.....in which case you'll be buying the Apple one.

[1] i.e. you have more money than sense and everywhere is within 10 metres of everywhere else.

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Researcher snaps a Zeus hacker's photo through his webcam

TeeCee
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Happy

Shame he didn't have two webcams.

A great use for SCORPION STARE.......

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Hacker crew nicks '1.2 billion passwords' – but WHERE did they all come from?

TeeCee
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Re: Can someone please explain

Easy and also why passwords are still stored in clear.

1) Thing gets built yonks ago.

2) Time moves on, front end (customer facing bit) gets updated with more gloss.

3) SQL injection vuln / lack of hashed passwords / etc gets spotted by techy types who raise issue.

4) Project types ask which business unit is sponsoring / paying for costly changes to fix.

5) Nobody on the business side will pay for changes as it's not their problem / has no business benefit and the changes get descoped from this update.

Repeat 3 through 5 ad infinitum.

A known side effect of the "start with the business case" approach to software development is that technical and security fixes never get done, as the only people that give a shit about this sort of thing have no budget to make the changes.

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Car hackers build kit to protect you and your motor from fiery death

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: Simple Solution

A mate has a new Audi. An option he was offered at purchase was a "security upgrade". This consists of a diode inserted in the command feed from the security ECU to the main ECU which prevents the former sending instructions to the latter and stops spurious commands from the outside world having access to the brains of the outfit.

He took it and still wonders why it's not standard.

So, we already have a situation where the various bits are separate (even my ten year old car has three ECUs, main/engine management, body control and security). All that's missing is the somewhat essential logic that prevents the bit that has its ears out in the ether reprogramming the other bits.

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Watch this Aussie infosec bod open car doors from afar

TeeCee
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Re: Sound advice, but . . .

I reckon the real problem here is that: "Oh dear Mr Valued Customer, you have lost your car keys. Well tough shit, you need a new car 'cos we can't do anything about it." doesn't go down that well.

There has to be some mechanism available by which an authorised agent can bypass the security system to access all the ECU programming and initialise new keys, even without an old one, i.e. a "back door" of some sort. The problem is making that bulletproof.....

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Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK

TeeCee
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Fiat calls these people “City Venturers”,

Why? Just use the correct word and everyone will know who you mean without the tedious marketing explanation.

The word's "Wankers", by the way.

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Lindsay Lohan sues Grand Theft Auto V makers for 'using her image'

TeeCee
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"claims game has characters that are exactly like her"

Well they are all two-dimensional and have a shockingly small repertoire of predictable responses.......

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

TeeCee
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Trollface

I thought the really clever bit was talking him through doing all the other stuff, including reentering the WiFi password, while it was switched off......

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Royal Navy parks 470 double-decker buses on Queen Elizabeth

TeeCee
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Re: You wait ages for a bus...

Ah. That would explain the F35 with a load of people sitting on the wings, turning left at the lights on the Balls Pond Road earlier....

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TeeCee
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Re: Bust-up

So a catapult should be able to throw a bus further.

Gosh. I do so hope that the Mythbusters are reading this.

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El Reg is looking for a new London sub-editor

TeeCee
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Re: Why does it *have* to be in London

Apple workers do listen to valve radios.

An Apple radio is a featureless block of highly polished aluminium, surmounted with several visible valves, carefully chosen for their aesthetic appearance.

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We need to talk about SPEAKERS: Sorry, 'audiophiles', only IT will break the sound barrier

TeeCee
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Er...what?

With the advent of the Compact Disc, the bottleneck became the loudspeaker.

Personally I reckon the source that really shines a glaring searchlight on inadequate speakers is analogue-mastered vinyl....

I have previously related around here the tale of a mate who spent a small fortune on new HiFi kit, only to have me cast aspersions on his right speaker. He had the speakers biwired and had left the links on the right-hand one. After fixing this small configuration problem everything sounded right, but he couldn't tell the difference!

The first thing you need in an audiophile setup is audiophile ears.......

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Remaining Snowden docs will be released to avert 'unspecified US war' – ‪Cryptome‬

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: Paul Crawford Cryptome

Trouble is that you can deluge the Great Unwashed with information. It won't stop half of them being convinced that the moon landings were faked, the pyramids were built by aliens and we were made by the Sky Fairy.

That statement sort of implies that Democracy requires an electorate capable of making decisions based on hard data in order to work. If so, it's fundamentally fucked and we should get rid of it now.

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