* Posts by TeeCee

7430 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Take two mobes into the shower? I didn't before, but I do now

TeeCee
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FAIL

Really?

The idea is that because the gizmo can fit in your wallet, you can ignore the fact that it is there.

Presumably the ability to ignore it's there is also dependant on the good graces of the battery recharge fairies.

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Fugitive UK hacker turned ISIS recruiter killed in Syria

TeeCee
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Re: Expecting

If they elect that rabid twatspanner, it really will be time to impeach the electorate and select a new one.

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Scrapheap challenge: How Amazon and Google are dumbing down the gogglebox

TeeCee
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Flame

You think planned obsolescence is annoying?

Not too long ago you needed a TV license and a SKY sub to get everything.

Now you need a TV license, a SKY sub, Amazon Prime, Netflix, BT, etc ad-bleedin-nauseum and even then you can't guarantee that some bunch of greedy shitstains won't leap on the bandwagon, start a new service next week and corner the market in something interesting.

There were idiots who used to describe SKY as ripoff merchants. I do hope they are bloody happy with the new "competitive" world.....

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Google Cloud in nine-hour storage SNAFU

TeeCee
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FFS!

The whole selling point of this bloody "cloud" thing was that redundancy came free with it as, with nothing in one and only one place and with no single failure points in a global network, you could always get at everything in it.

With that bit so obviously bloody missing from all the major offerings, I'm struggling to see why[1] you'd want to use one of the things.

[1] Apart from "It says in the Technology Pages of the FT that this 'cloud' stuff is The Next Big Thing. We must have it now", of course.

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Password 'XXXXairocon' pops Wi-Fi routers from ASUS, ZTE and others

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: "...recommends blocking telnet and SNMP..."

As for why telnet and not ssh...

You mean so that once your intruder has logged in using its predictable password they'll have a secure connection to it?

That'd be nice for them.

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Krebs: I know who hacked Ashley Madison

TeeCee
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Let me fix that.

OzzieAussie hard rock heroes

Otherwise you'd be talking about Black Sabbath.....

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Perhaps the AIpocalypse ISN'T imminent – if Google Translate is anything to go by, that is

TeeCee
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Happy

Re: Re:He said 58 words in the first film :)

On a relevant and related note; IIRC Arnie is always dubbed into German by someone else, despite speaking the language natively. Apparently he hails from a rather bucolic corner of Austria and nobody is scared of a killing machine that says:

<Wurzel>

Oi'll be baaaach!

</Wurzel>

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NHS site defaced with screed protesting Syrian conflict

TeeCee
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And as the world's come over all hand-wringy at the sort of extremely heavy-handed military intervention required to keep a lid on it, long may it continue.

Unless we can find a suitable psychopath to run the place and ensconce him with a heavily armed bunch of elite sadists to keep the theocrats ground down, I don't see a way forward.

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Wileyfox smartphones: SD card, no bloatware, Cyanogen, big battery – yes to all!

TeeCee
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Meh

Yes, but....

The Oneplus 2 is in the same price range as the Storm, similar on spec and gives you a Snapdragon 810........(!)

That's an awfully big grunt hike for the sort of extra quiddage the sheep normally associate with adding a "Hello Kitty" branded cover.

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Using SQL techniques in NoSQL is OK, right? WRONG

TeeCee
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A couple of things.

... these engines have done away with table joins.

Sounds like the answer here is to resurrect the toolchains and associated languages designed to work with large data sets in such structures[1]. RPGII/COBOL and SORT off the old System/36 spring immediately to mind and I'm sure there are others.

Secondly, just about everything said about SQL structures and sequences and their importance apply equally as well to SQL databases. The query optimiser is not a worker of miracles and it's amazing how much performance improvement you can get by pointing someone who knows what they're doing at some abortion slung together by those who think that a query optimiser is both psychic and infinite in its wisdom.

[1] There is nothing new here, just Old Skool 2.0.

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BT commences trials of copper-to-the-home G.fast broadband tech

TeeCee
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FTTC 2.0?

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Ashley Madison spam starts, as leak linked to first suicide

TeeCee
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Yes, the data was stolen illegally. However, whether or not it's then illegal to publish it online is a case for argument.

Does receiving/handling stolen goods apply to data?

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Get whimsical and win a Western Digital Black 6TB hard drive

TeeCee
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He's obviously saying:

"If I hold my hand like this, some arsehole will probably photoshop an iPhone onto it."

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Collective noun search for security vulns moves into beta testing

TeeCee
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Happy

Sounds like the ideal use for Sir Pterry's wonderful neologism.

An embuggerance of flaws says it all really.

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TeeCee
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Re: Not that enamoured of the presented options but please

Flashmob?

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The Ashley Madison files – are people really this stupid?

TeeCee
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FAIL

Re: "The Ashley Madison files – are people really this stupid?"

I just love that attitude.

Okay, maybe we don't like Ashley Madison. Still, the gleeful "you got hacked / ripped off / fucked, now I get to make some free money out of you in court" thing is just wrong. Smacks of kicking a man while he's down or necrophilia to me.

Most litigants are worse than those they sue and in this case, we know they're all scumbags before they sue. Why so happy?

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Android apps are flooding on to jailbroken Win10 phones

TeeCee
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Reports suggest that at this stage, far more Android apps crash than run well.

More like 'write once, FAIL anywhere' then.

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TeeCee
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Re: Remember OS/2 Warp

Yes, but the reason they did that is that OS/2 was already dead-but-still-twitching[1] by the time Warp came out. IBM had to do this as nobody was developing for OS/2 by that time and to keep it on life-support at all, Windows applications were a "must have". The alternative was to try to convince potential purchasers that living with the limited and severely aging set of native OS/2 applications was a good thing[2].

[1] Ok, maybe it is the same as WinPho then.

[2] And when it comes to selling really bloody awful things to the public, even Goebbels would call that one a dead loss.

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Why do driverless car makers have this insatiable need for speed?

TeeCee
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WTF?

getting to the sort of level of knowledge of the roads that Google has, of every stop sign, traffic light and feeder lane

Why would you want to? Relying on that information would be dumb, dumb, dumb. First set of roadworks, accident, diversion, failed lights and its oops big time.

There's a bloody good reason why conventional cars are not driven by memorising the route and then playing it back while blindfolded.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. For any driverless car system to be acceptable it has to operate entirely autonomously based on what it "sees". Even without considering the slight snag that connection availability on the move is (to put it charitably) spotty, anyone should be able to think of at least five showstopper reasons why this should be so without trying to hard. Any "always on" connection is therefore more about scarfing data about your commuting habits than about making the thing work.

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Act of God damaged data on Google cloud disks

TeeCee
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It's probably in Central Europe.

There's a reason why the house I had in CZ was covered in effing great lightning conductors, as were all the others in that area.

Power outages due to electrical cables, substations and such being repeatedly struck[1] were all too common.

[1] Or, on one memorable occasion, struck once very, very hard. I saw the bolt and it was like the finger of god.

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Google reveals OnHub WiFi router, complete with GLOWING RING

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Really?

OnHub therefore represents a welcome change in router design.

Funny that. I've always made a habit of turning off any remote admin / update features in anything internet facing, as that's the route the miscreants usually take to pwn it......(!)

A bit like sorting the problem of the inadequate lock on your door by removing it entirely.

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US Air Force: 'Loose tweets destroy fleets'

TeeCee
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Or...

One careless Twitter and we take it up the shitter.

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Veedub flub hubbub stubs car-jack hack flap

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Typical.

after Volkswagen spent some two years suppressing the work discovered in 2012.

They have form here. There are at least two cases of nailed-on candidates for recall[1] that VW spent years resisting claims from affected owners and baffling the regulators with bullshit over, rather than just take it on the chin.

They're also one of the worst manufacturers for getting "goodwill" out of (a contribution to the costs associated with a major component failure when the vehicle is just out of warranty)[1].

I'm amazed anyone touches the ruddy things with a bargepole.

They must have the world's best PR department, as the actual quality of their products and their attitude to customer service is pretty much the exact opposite of public perception. Presumably their legal department is always busy keeping a lid on anyone or thing trying to tell the truth. If everything in life really were as reliable as a Volkswagen, the human race would have died out eons ago.

[1] Look up VW ABS/ESP unit failures (mainly Golf models, but most affected) and Passat injector failures here.

[2] Exploding 1.4TSI engines for a start. Those make the legendarily iffy Rover "K" series look like a paragon of reliability.

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Choke on it! Brit police squeeze pirate site advertising money trail

TeeCee
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Aha!

an advertisement for Lexus cars washed up on a bestiality site.

So even the advertisers have a problem with targeted advertising now?

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Boffins nail 2FA with 'ambient sound' login for the lazy

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Right question?

.....is preferable to Google's popular two factor authenticator app....

Not sure that "popular" is quite correct here as while it might literally cover "foisted on a hell of a lot of people", the spirit isn't quite there.

What I see here is a correct identification that current 2FA systems all have in common the fact that they really, really, really suck to use. (Missing here is that Google's "app" solution becomes ludicrously unwieldy if you have your phone's lock screen doing something constructive - i.e. you actually give a shit about security).

Not sure this is the right answer though as it still has a problem that's common to many. Google and their ilk are getting my bloody mobile phone number shortly after hell freezes over....

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Hey, folks. Meet the economics 'genius' behind Jeremy Corbyn

TeeCee
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Yes, but.

there's plenty of sensible left-leaning economists out there who do know one end of a curve from another.

The slight problem with that approach is that anyone with any basic knowledge of economics knows that this "anti-austerity at all costs" approach is economic suicide. Look at France under Hollande[1] for where that particular five-year plan leads.

To find an "economic advisor" who's actually prepared to produce an economic plan based on that populist but mind-numbingly stupid platform, you have to step outside the field of economics.

[1] I'm not convinced that knowing that Corbyn, if elected, would likely end up in the same position as Hollande of being the most unpopular leader ever, amidst the economic wreckage of the country, is any comfort.

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How many pre-loaded Win 10 PCs did disties have 7 days after release?

TeeCee
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WTF?

That headline.

I take it that it is a trick question and the correct answer is: "Who gives a shit"?

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China laments 'wild guesses and malicious slurs' on state hacking

TeeCee
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Mushroom

Re: The Rules

Sorry, but anything coming out of the UN is the ne plus ultra of bureaucratic bullshit and should be ignored by any right-thinking organisation.

Now, if that were a "bill of rights" (a succinct statement, written so that anyone can understand it) I'd be interested, but it isn't. It's the UN declaration of human rights, probably the worst piece of text ever produced by a committee of B-grade politicians with nothing better to do and full of irrelevancies, over-complication, linguistic gymnastics and sops to axe-grinding tossers appointed to the committee on a "Buggins' turn" basis.

If you're going to criticise the US, at least pick something that they're being bloody daft about. It's not like there isn't enough to choose from.

(Yup. That was my "pet hate" button you just thumped.)

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Drone racing sells robot soul to Mammon with launch of racing league

TeeCee
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Meh

Drone racing.

I can't help thinking that some enterprising hobbyist is going to turn up with a good, old-fashioned, racing radio controlled aircraft and hand all the drone 'copter lads their arses on a plate.

Tagging 'em with the D-word doesn't make aerial ROVs anything new......

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Cheers, Bill Gates. Who wouldn't want drinking water made from POO?

TeeCee
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"diseases caused by poor sanitation kill some 700,000 children every year"

Aha! Eat shit and die, I've heard of that.

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Huge explosion kills 44+ in China, blasts nearby supercomputer offline

TeeCee
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Alert

Re: Talk about risky locations..

A mate worked in SoS semiconductor research, back in the eighties. They used to get Oleum shipped in in glass-lined tankers which they would then dilute as required to etch wafers in the research facility. They lost one of those in a motorway smash once.......(!)

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Exploding Power Bars: EE couldn't even get the CE safety mark right

TeeCee
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Alert

Dodged a bullet there.

Presumably if they were correctly CE marked and subsequently proven substandard, EE could be nailed to the cross for breaking the CE rules.

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Google ready for another pop at India, with Android One in hand

TeeCee
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Re: Cricket?

You should be safe doing that, as long as you're not Australian.

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Tesla still burning cash: each car loses $4,000

TeeCee
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Facepalm

So?

The ruddy things are already priced at "if you need to ask, you can't afford it" as a rich man's toy.

Stick the price up by 4k. Nobody who was actually going to buy one will care.

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Has Microsoft saved the Apple Watch with Outlook improvement?

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: Hidden Agenda or no Agenda

You mean within the corporate world, not the unwashed masses that this wristjob is aimed at.

Meanwhile, in the real corporate world, every chair-polishing tosser with enough clout to override policy has a ruddy iPhone[1]. I'm sure they'll be getting the accessory for it in due course.

[1] Usually courtesy of a rattle-out-of-pram rant....

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Perhaps middle-aged blokes SHOULDN'T try 34-hour-long road trips

TeeCee
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Re: Lane merging

Nope, UK is slow to fast (to the left rather than right for obvious reasons), with the sole[1] exception of the crawler lane at the southern end of the M6. The only one that actually bloody works.

Tim's spot on here, slowing a vehicle travelling at 80 to merge into a lane doing 65 is a damned sight easier and safer than moving a heavy truck doing 50 sideways into a lane where everything else is doing 65[2]. What really doesn't help is that roads are built on a "cheap as possible" basis, so the mile of crawler lane that allows trucks to regain speed on the flat / downgrade after the incline is always missing.

The other thing common on continental motorways which I really miss in the UK is the restriction of trucks (7.5t and up) to lane 1 at peak periods and at all times on many two lane sections.

[1] Only one I've found anyway.

[2] This causes sudden braking and "bunching", the No 1 cause of motorway shunts.

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TeeCee
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Mushroom

Re: A few things

Yes. The failure to be a pedantic wanker at all times is the cause of most accidents.

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Is Microsoft veteran Edward Hyde heading off to Commvault?

TeeCee
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I hear...

....that Dr Henry Jekyll is also leaving.....

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ROBO-TENTACLE with mind of its own wields deadly electrical power – turns on Tesla car

TeeCee
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Happy

Funny really.

That we've never really needed automatic petrol/diesel pumps.

I guess that purchasers of combustion-engine equipped vehicles must be smart enough to remember to fill the ruddy things themselves most of the time.

I suppose this proves that Teslas are only ever bought by the sort of rich, lazy twat who expects everything[1] to be done for him.

[1] My rates for shagging trophy wives are very reasonable.

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TeeCee
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Re: The unasked question

You mean one software glitch and you're buggered?

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Apple goes to crapple in stock plunge kerfaffle: $113bn wiped off in days

TeeCee
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caught up in the vortex of a really ugly chart

That can't be right. Surely any "vortex of a chart"[1] that Apple is caught up in must be heart-rendingly stylish and achingly cool.

[1] WTF?

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PALE BACKSIDE of lovely Luna flits past in imagery from 1 MILLION miles out

TeeCee
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Re: Albedo

Enchiladas for a satellite

Mexican foodstuffs have a higher albedo than cheese?

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Sengled lightbulb speakers: The best worst stereo on Earth

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Er, *four* possibilities:

4) Sengled have a load of "brand angels"[1] out there and actively producing reviews.

This seems quite likely as, with an impressively smarmy manager, PR sounds (hah!) like the one thing they are good at.

Incidently, when it comes to speaker design, rich base and treble detail are the province of the case design. Oddly enough, the shape of the household lightbulb was never designed for its acoustic properties.

[1] I believe that's the correct PR term for "shill".

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Clueless do-gooders make Africa's conflict mineral mines even more dangerous

TeeCee
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Facepalm

As usual.

Whenever some nuImperialist gets their way, the Law of Unintended Consequences bites them on the arse.

[1] Imperialism: A formal army of enlightened types brings "civilisation" at gunpoint to some place full of primitive brown people.

nuImperialism: An informal army of enlightened types use political, economic (and when all else fails military) arm-twisting to force primitive brown people to run their countries the way the enlightened think they should.

The crucial difference between these approaches is that the first is somewhat unfashionable in polite society.

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'Cilla Black introduced me to my wife on Blind Date': Channel man's heartwarming story

TeeCee
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WTF?

Well, well.

Cilla Black croaks and there's an IT angle.

Surprise sur-fucking-prise.

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OnePlus phone fanbois flock for a shiny phondle

TeeCee
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Happy

Say what you like about 'em.

The Oneplus One is an absolute fucktonne of device for a ludicrously[1] low price. Still impossible to touch on price/performance to this day and very few outdo it on pure performance (and elsewhere you can count the number of year old, but still pack-leading, devices on the fingers of one foot).

Funny how an unlocked device of massively puissant spec needn't cost an arm and a leg once its manufacturer tells the networks to shove their subsidies and control where the sun shineth not. There's a lesson in there........

[1] Well, it was. Since they cut the prices hugely recently, I'm afraid that the English language is all out of superlatives.

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It's enough to get your back up: Eight dual-bay SOHO NAS boxes

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: Macs can be problematic

Or, in other words, if you're a Mac user and don't buy the appropriate Apple product to go with it, a shitstorm of compatibility issues shall dog you to the end of your days.

We all knew this anyway....

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Uber unleashes $1bn war chest to crack Indian market

TeeCee
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FAIL

Re: hmm...

Never mind who it is, there's a much bigger problem here.

The sort of person who's up for scamming a few extra quid in their spare time as a fake taxi is, by definition, not the sort of person who shells out to have their car serviced on time and to standard.

You'll be bloody lucky if it's got four legal tyres on it....

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Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: Back in the late-seventies

I just read that several times in an attempt to make sense of it and have deduced two things:

1) You're the same AC as the one who started the thread.

2) It's not just a tabloid press rant, excessive use of weed really does turn your brain into squirrel food.

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Windows 10 marks the end of 'pay once, use forever' software

TeeCee
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Facepalm

What goes around....

The current trend among tech vendors is to flip you from paying a one-off fee for a product or service and to pay a monthly subscription.

Of course, anyone with a memory longer than that of a mayfly will know that not too long ago this was the way that everything in this business worked.

Presumably the one off fee / subscription thing is the next "cycle" in this business, much as the mainframe / distributed computing two-step has been for many years.

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