* Posts by TeeCee

8229 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

BT installs phone 'spam filter', says it'll strain out mass cold-callers

TeeCee
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Re: Interesting development

A friend of mine went one better than that. He moved into a property that the local water authority insisted did not exist.

He got free water for five years. The fun ended when the water board replaced the main outside and the lads doing the job spotted that there was one more connection to it than their plans admitted to. They did attempt to bill him for the arrears, but he countered with a copy of the letter they'd sent to him, at his address[1], saying that the address didn't exist so they couldn't and wouldn't bill him.

[1] Warning: Upcoming paradox. Engage head explosion dampers before reading further.

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Nielsen, eat your heart out: TiVo woos admen with prediction engine

TeeCee
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TiVo board meeting.

"We can tell advertisers what people will watch and so who to target their ads at. They'll pay a fortune for that information!"

"Yeees, but all our data comes from TiVo users, who all use our handy ad-skipping feature to avoid watching them anyway..."

"We won't tell them that."

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Embrace the world of pr0nified IT with wide open, er, arms

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Bah!

Yes, it's true that even the high end lasers have gone all-in-one these days.

Back in the day, the business ones had separate toner, drum and fuser packs. Often the toner came in a tube or long box with a seal and required you to unseal it[1], ram it in a hole, jiggle it vigorously until all the gunk fell out and then withdraw the spent box for disposal.

[1] Carefully, or you could empty it prematurely and end up with sticky stuff sprayed everywhere.

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TeeCee
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Re: Laser printers are always “faster” and “last longer”

For some time now, Morgan's (the clapped-out box shifter) have been running a deal where you get a free printer if you buy enough ink or toner.

That says it all really.

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Weaky-leaks: Furious fans roast Assange in web interview from hell

TeeCee
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...to the point that it would stand up in court as whistleblowing...

Except it wouldn't. His admission that he only took the job to look for shit to leak makes it boring old espionage.

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TV anchor says live on-air 'Alexa, order me a dollhouse' – guess what happens next

TeeCee
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I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Back in the days of Windows Mobile, MS made a truly brilliant product[1] for it called Voice Command. One of its best features was that, after asking it to call someone for you, it would read back what it was going to do and wait for confirmation to proceed. It's voice recognition and handling of dialects and foreign words / names was excellent too.

I'm continually amazed that while MS could apparently get it right on a sclerotic ARM core with sod-all memory, the likes of Amazon, Google (and MS - hah!) still can't while using powerful servers to do the job.

[1] Which, like all the best things to come out of Redmond, they then completely forgot to tell anyone about.

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Ransomware scum: 'I believe I'm a good fit. See attachments'

TeeCee
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Meh

Well whoop-de-do

.....consumer webmail providers like Google and Microsoft tweaked spam filters to filter out much of the inbound menace.

I can't help thinking that if they did that outbound as well, it would do rather more good.

A quick change in the law to make the bastards jointly liable with the sender for any damage caused by shit disseminated via their services ought to do the trick.

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Programmer finds way to liberate ransomware'd Google Smart TVs

TeeCee
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Re: Bah!

Or you can prevent this sort of thing ever happening by installing this FREE!!111!!! ANTIVIRUZ SCANUR FOUR TELEVISHUN.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter how secure or not these things are, there's no defence against a gullible idiot with the admin password...

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The Register's Top 20 Most-Commented Stories in 2016

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: @malle-herbert I'd love to see a top 20...

I have (and will continue to) made a point of avoiding any Brexit related forum like the plague.

Mostly because the antis are that odd breed: A bunch of raving fascists ("WE WILL TELL YOU WHAT TO THINK, HOW YOU SHOULD VOTE AND WHAT SORT OF GOVERNMENT YOU SHOULD HAVE BECAUSE EVERYTHING WE SAY IS RIGHT!") who make a point of calling anyone who disagrees with them a Nazi.

The obvious paradox is too likely to make my head explode.

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How Google.org stole the Christmas Spirit

TeeCee
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Just think.....

......what Google might be like if they were actually evil, instead of just entirely motivated by self-interest.

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Spotty battery life costs Apple's MacBook Pro its gold-star rating

TeeCee
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Hey! That fix works for the Ostrich...

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'DNC hackers' used mobile malware to track Ukrainian artillery – researchers

TeeCee
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Re: Interesting

IIRC, during the Balkan conflict our army was busily purchasing mobile phones locally. That way they could actually talk to each other at distance, as the new secure radio kit they'd been issued turned out to be utterly crap in real world use.

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Huawei very happy to be on Map Of Tasmania

TeeCee
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Re: Cheeky Amanda Palmer reference?

Well, the term "mapatazi" has been documented in the profanisaurus for many years now.

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Eating Brotli will improve Edge's inner health says Microsoft

TeeCee
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I see. Which part of "pun" did you fail to understand?

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Raspberry Pi Foundation releases operating system for PCs, Macs

TeeCee
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Re: And it appears to be 3D skeuomorphic!

This has the real potential of becoming the operating system that _UNSEATS_ _WINDOWS_,

You've actually managed to get MS Office running on it????!!??

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MH370 hunters call for new search of extra 25,000km2

TeeCee
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Re: Obvious

It's always in the last place you look.

Well, it's not fallen down the back of my sofa...has everyone else checked?

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EU accuses Facebook of providing incorrect info on WhatsApp buy

TeeCee
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Holmes

Hang on...

It's been found that information from Facebook is actually factually incorrect to the point of being misleading?

Dear EU. Welcome to the real world...

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Uber's self-driving cars can't handle bike lanes, forcing drivers to kill autonomous mode

TeeCee
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Meh

As far as I can see, their entire business seems to be about generating hype by repeatedly breaking the law and getting away with it by exploiting loopholes in jurisdiction.

It's about time that the world's authorities decided that enough is enough, clubbed together and sent the entire Uber board to jail for life. Ensuring that they pick a jurisdiction to do so where hiring a legal weasel to bullshit you out of jail doesn't work. Poetic justice.

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It's round and wobbles, but madam, it's a mouse pad, not a floppy disk

TeeCee
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Mushroom

Oh no it bloody well shouldn't.

If I had a quid for every fucking time I've been asked to modify a document, only to find it's been written by some abject fucking moron who "doesn't do styles" I'd be giving Croesus a run for his money.

Everything formatted with spaces and carriage returns. Only one font style, which is umpty versions of "Normal + [interminable list of tweaks]". Looks perfect until you try to insert something, at which point the lack of anything resembling paragraphs or pagination makes itself felt and the whole thing immediately degenerates into illegible catshit.

The mystery to me is that as typewriters have been obsolete for some years now, I can't see where users are picking this shit up from?

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Meat pies in SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

TeeCee
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Re: Danger of falling pies

Only one way to deal with massed vegans.

Take off and pie the site from orbit...

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London's Winter Wonderland URGENTLY seeks Windows 10 desk support

TeeCee
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Re: But...

Give me the right set of applications and users and I'll show you how any system ever made can be royally fucked up.

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China is building a full scale replica of the Titanic to repeatedly crash into iceberg

TeeCee
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WTF?

Hang on, what's "alternate" about the reality of a trip to Swindon giving the experience of being at the battle of the Somme?

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TeeCee
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Does this mean....

....that some Chinese theme park is going to have a bloke whose job really is arranging the deckchairs on the Titanic?

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Remember that amazing video of the whale leaping out the gym floor and splashing down? Yeah, it was BS

TeeCee
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Hmm..

Let me get this straight.

Magic Leap produced a load of faked up vids of their non-existent "product", which were deliberately done in a way to make anyone seeing them think they were genuine. This resulted in millions of real dollars being invested in their fake product.

Isn't that just good, old fashioned fraud? The only new and clever bit in their business model would appear to be that nobody's had their collar felt yet...

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Fancy that! Google was keen on 'draining the swamp' in 2013

TeeCee
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Basically...

...there's money in that swamp, so there's no reason for Google to drain it.

Well, no more reason now that the "OMFG!11!! PR0N!!11!!" side of it's been sorted so the shrill bleatings from the likes of the Faily Wail have ceased.

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Could this be you? Really Offensive Security Engineer sought by Facebook

TeeCee
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Holmes

Facebook recruiting offensive people.

This is news how exactly?

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Uber is watching your smartphone's battery charge

TeeCee
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Re: Not for security

Disclosure: Not a uber user....

I'd already figured that out. As you mentioned changing the battery you're obviously not an iSheep.

(Disclaimer: While it's possibly not true that all Uber users are iPhone owners, all the ones I know are.)

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Local TV presenter shouted 'f*cking hell' to open news bulletin

TeeCee
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Then again...

I did see a clip of the news from Australia. The usual setup with a newsdesk in centre shot with the newsroom behind. Unusually, there was quite a racket from the newsroom staff, making it rather difficult to hear what the newsreader was saying:

"Blah, blah, blah.....WILL YOU BASTARDS SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO READ THE BLOODY NEWS HERE!.... Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen....."

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Google proudly regards dented shovel as Flash lies supine on the floor

TeeCee
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Re: Chrome will run the auto-play video ad ...

I suspect it'll be like "Do Not Track".

If your browser is made by Microsoft, it'll prompt you for it on first use.

If your browser is made by any of the other usual suspects, it'll be on by default and the switch will be buried deep in the configuration options where you'll need a torch and dungeon map to find it.

The W3C will then rule that the MS setting can be ignored and worked around for some bullshit reason[1] or other.

[1] Or, in other words: "We've taken a massive bribe".

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LeEco Le Pro 3: Low-cost, high-spec Droid takes on the big boys with a big fat batt

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Headphone volume warning...

The headphone volume nag is an EU requirement

Er, no. The EU still hasn't done this (outside of a Daily Mail editorial), although they've talked about it a lot. It is a Chinese government requirement, which is why you tend to see this on quick 'n dirty ports of a Chinese build of Android.

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TeeCee
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Re: Inch perfect

Or "all of them" as everyone else calls that.

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Sysadmin figures out dating agency worker lied in his profile

TeeCee
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Re: Enter == submit

In a word (or three) IBM. The Return (or Field Exit) key does just that and the Enter key is where Right-CTRL is found on the majority of keyboards these days.

As the new way does seem to be a GUI thing, if we're going to play the blame game what was the recommendation from Xerox PARC and what did crapple implement.......?

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Jersey sore: Anchor rips into island's undersea cables, sinks net access

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: @crazyOldCatMan

...The fact that he was actually left wing...

Personally I reckon that at the extremes, "left"and "right" are indistinguishable anyway. Totalitarianism vs. Libertarianism is where the important action is and on that scale, Hitler and Stalin are one and the same politically.

Greatest giggle right now is the Corbynite "Momentum" types describing anyone who disagrees with them as a Nazi. I find the idea of being called a Nazi by a bunch of frothing anti-Semites, who also seem to think that threats of extermination and kicking people's windows in are valid political strategies, somewhat ironic.

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Really weird quantum phenomenon spied lurking near neutron star

TeeCee
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Damn!

...a group of pulsating neutron stars called “The Magnificent Seven.”

Ok. Who else was forced to read the rest of the article to the sound of "Dum, dum de dum, dum de dum de dum...<etc>"?

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Lenovo: If you value your server, block Microsoft's November security update

TeeCee
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Re: Does this affect only Lenovo-badged servers

Wouldn't be surprised.

Another well-known Lenovo "feature" is on their Desktop / Laptop range. If you install a new, standalone, licensed MS Office without wiping the machine and reinstalling the OS[1], it fucks the licensing up. Apparently Lenovo have done something naughty to the OEM version of "Get Office". Uninstalling the "Get Office" app doesn't help as they haven't tweaked the uninstall routine to recognise and remove the registry keys they've cocked up...

So, proven form for playing fast and loose with the MS standards...and not getting away with it(!)

[1] Ok you can manually edit the registry but, given Lenovo's record, it's safer to nuke the site from orbit.

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Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

TeeCee
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petition has been set up and signed by around 5,000

Hmm, I wonder. If one were to hold a proper survey, scaled to represent the population as a whole, on the subject of "who gives a shit?", would 5,000 be more than the error bars on it...?

Way to big up your statistical insignificance guys.

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San Francisco's sinking luxury Millennium Tower: Tilt spotted FROM SPACE

TeeCee
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WTF?

It was a swamp before.

Let me guess: Everyone said they were daft to build a skyscraper in a swamp, but they built it all the same, just to show them.

Hell, who needs building regulations, structural engineers and geologists when we have Monty Python to tell us the inevitable result?

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BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample

TeeCee
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Re: FTFY

In my experience, most potatoes have a higher level of IT skill than that.

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Airbus flies new plane for the first time

TeeCee
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You didn't know Concorde was coming until the PA system announced its approach? That building must have had some seriously impressive soundproofing.

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LAKE OF frozen WATER THE SIZE OF NEW MEXICO FOUND ON MARS – NASA

TeeCee
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Re: I'm confused...

The New Mexico is the standard unit to use when you're talking about a large area that may have an alien spaceship crashed somewhere in it.

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TeeCee
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Re: So, next steps ..

Given mission timescales, I'm afraid that (4) there is unlikely.

Unless you lot are stupid enough to reelect him of course...

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Missile tech helps boffins land drone on car moving at 50 km/h

TeeCee
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Maybe an airship?

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MP Kees Verhoeven wants EU to regulate the Internet of S**t

TeeCee
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Useless.

As usual, this looks at the problem and completely misses what it is. It doesn't matter one jot what security one of these things comes with. The only thing that matters is how quickly it will be patched when said security is compromised.

The simple answer is, if you want to sell an IoT device in the EU you are required to post, up front, a bond to fund the provision of software security updates for it for a minimum of 10 years beyond its planned product lifecycle.

That'd kill the problem.......and as a side effect would mean that anything that didn't really need internet connectivity never gets it.

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Hyperloop One settles hangman lawsuit

TeeCee
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Stop

He changed his name to "Brogan BamBrogan"?

At least Latrine from Robin Hood, Men in Tights had a reasonable excuse....

Maybe Hyperloop have learned a valuable lesson here. If a prospective employee has something about them that makes you suspect that they may be an utter wankhammer, don't hire them.

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TeeCee
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WTF?

"Brogan BamBrogan"

Christ, some parents can be real evil bastards, can't they?

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Facebook Fake News won it for Trump? That's a Zombie theory

TeeCee
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Hear hear!

Yet again, the issue is not "fake news" (or whatever ${scapegoat} is this week). It's the fact that the mainstream gobshites don't like the answer and now have to blame the question, or the way it was asked, or who asked it, or who it was asked of, or anything that was said about it or space aliens using mind-control lasers just about anything except themselves really....

More popcorn please.

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KCL staff offered emotional support, clergy chat to help get over data loss

TeeCee
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Meh

Shame really. If they had Chaplain 2.0, they could be part of the Internet of Chaplains and air their problems via Social Chaplaincy.

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Hacker's Mac pwning expedition: 'Help, I've got too many shells!'

TeeCee
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Re: No mention of the earth quakes

Get some perspective.

Yes they had some sort of earthquake thingy but somebody hacked a Mac!!!1111!!!!!

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Security bods find Android phoning home. Home being China

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Shanghai Adups is not affiliated with the Chinese government...

It's allowed to be a business in China. Ok, I know that there is a fine line between "affiliated with" and "has tongue up arse", but....

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Virgin Galactic and Boom unveil Concorde 2.0 tester to restart supersonic travel

TeeCee
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Actually, the root cause of the massive cost of Concorde was down a basic fact of the day. Nothing of anything like that size had ever flown supersonic and modelling the stresses associated was an infant science. Thus the thing was seriously overengineered.

The reason for the interminable project overrun[1] is quite simple. The engines require subsonic airflow and the intake throats are throttled depending on demand, speed, air pressure, air temperature and a variety of other factors. A computer capable of deriving the correct settings from that much variable data in realtime that would also fit in an avionics bay[2] didn't become available until rather later than anticipated.

[1] Also a monumental unplanned cost.

[2] Rather than taking up much of the fuselage as can be seen in the test flights, where it was glossed over as "test equipment".

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