* Posts by TeeCee

8131 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Dutch bicycle company pretends to be television company

TeeCee
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Most places, the cargo handlers are airport staff rather than airline staff so, usually, it isn't the airline's fault.

They're known in the trade as "tossers", as they never carry something that can be tossed into place.

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Apple guilty in iPhone ringtone patent rip-off battle with Sony, Nokia

TeeCee
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Yes. How dare they patent their slavish copies of Apple's future innovations?

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Not enough personality: Google Now becomes Google Not Anymore

TeeCee
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Black Helicopters

Re: And

Don't see the joke in there.

It also knows where you work and where your kids go to school...

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BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon

TeeCee
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Happy

Re: Window?

But it's dark and stuffy in a basement. One quick copy 'n paste production of a flood risk assessment and a nice view is yours to be had.

Of course that does mean any large kit has to be installed by crane through a window, but this is a fantastic way of disposing of anyone (or their car) you've taken a dislike to, via the simple means of "adjusting" the lifting straps on the kit concerned.

Bonus is that any kit you didn't really want, but the boss thought was a Good Thing, is unlikely to work once dropped a couple of storeys onto a user (or their car).

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Microsoft thinks time crystals may be viable after all

TeeCee
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Re: Microsoft - Messing around with time

Ever seen the time estimates for a copy operation?

You just outed yourself as a Vista User. That was brave.....and uncalled for.

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Hololens for biz shocker: Surprisingly, it doesn't totally suck

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: "evaluating the insurance risks for buildings"

If there is one thing high-paid suits cannot stand, it's looking ridiculous.

You've never seen a major presentation by a high-paid suit then? Never seen any get through one without making an utter prat of themselves at least once. If not looking like a dick was a really big deal, Powerpoint wouldn't sell at all.

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Self-stocking internet fridge faces a delivery come down

TeeCee
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Re: Garmin

For maps I've changed to Openstreetmap.

I've found two showstopper fuckups that make that shit useless for navigation:

1) There's no consistent road typing, so the only routing cue is the speed limit. This means that given the choice of a 50mph limited dual carriageway or a derestricted (60mph) country lane running parallel, the navigation software goes for the lane, despite the fact that you'll be pushed to achieve an average speed of 30mph along it.

2) The number of places where someone's drive on road A and someone else's on parallel road B are allegedly a road connecting the two is very scary indeed. Too many "contributors" who think 2+2=5 I guess.

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Boffins ID bug behind London's Great Plague of 1665

TeeCee
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Further tests will reveal if the individuals were natives or visitors.

Bloody immigrants! Coming over here and spreading their plagues...

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You should install smart meters even if they're dumb, says flack

TeeCee
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WTF?

... as normally it's the 3KW immersion heater...

WTF? You claim to actually give a rat's arse about your consumption, yet you actually use an immersion heater??

<Head explodes>

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Linus Torvalds won't apply 'sh*t-for-brains stupid patch'

TeeCee
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Whether Linux would be better or worse if its mailing list had a different hue is hard to say.

No it isn't, it would be worse. If you want to get it right, you need an autocrat to put their foot down whenever the development process coughs up one of the usual expedient[1] workarounds. The foot also needs to be put down in such a way that those responsible for the abortion know that they'll only get away with this shit after hell's frozen over.

I shudder to think what Linux will become if and when it moves to more conventional and compromising governance.

[1] Cost or Time are invariably the root cause.

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Meet Deliveroo's ‘bold and impactful’ new logo. No, really

TeeCee
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Flame

Re: K9

I suppose it saves their lunatic, scooter riding, suicidal arseholes the effort of sticking their own two fingers up. Must be very tiring for them doing that all day.

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Lindsay Lohan's Grand Theft Auto V cartoon case kicked out of court

TeeCee
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Re: "a woman holding a mobile who, it was argued, looked remarkably like Lohan"

Two-dimensional and only has a predictable set of pre-programmed reponses?

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Microsoft redfaced after Bing translation cockup enrages Saudis

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Crowdsourcing.

Positive side: It's free.

Negative side: You get exactly what you paid for.

When using crowdsourced data, always be aware that it's a matter of when, not if, that massive fuckup happens.

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Phoney bling ring pinged by Tolkien's kin

TeeCee
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Re: Tolkein Ring Network

All well and good, until the Tolkein falls out.

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Sysadmin sticks finger in pipe, saves data centre from flood

TeeCee
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Alert

Re: There's nothing quite like...

...these were ones with 2 car sized batteries in apiece....

Best "UPS" lashup I ever heard of was in Turkey. A roomful of secondhand car batteries, of varying sizes capacities and vintages, with an old transformer of indeterminate origin across them, all mounted on something that looked like Dexion racking fabricated from scrap angle iron.

It worked, but the fumes in there meant you had to come out for air every ten minutes should you be unlucky enough to have to work on any of the other kit in there.

They don't really do "elf 'n savdee" in Turkey. I also saw some lads fitting airco units to an office building. Two problems. First was that the bloke fitting the exchangers was hanging out of a window with two other blokes holding his belt. Second was that he was securing the exchanger brackets to the marble cladding panels on the outside of the building. He had to pick where to put the brackets, as many of said cladding panels had already fallen off, despite not having a heavy heat exchanger bolted to them. I mentally flagged the pavement beneath as a "beware of falling heavy machinery" zone.

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Watch the world's biggest 'flying bum' go arse over tit in a crash

TeeCee
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Re: Martha Gwyn ?

Don't suppose she looks like a dead heat in a zeppelin race?

It would all make sense then...

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Honor 8: Huawei targets millennials with high-spec cheapie. 3 words – Food pic mode

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Not Again!

1920 by 1080 resolution, with 423 pixels per inch,

And that PPI count is higher than the human eye can discern, making anything more than that a waste of time, effort and money. Crowing over the number of invisible pixels is straight out of the "this cam iz bestest 'cos its got more megapixels than that cam" school of review.

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If this headline was a security warning, 90% of you would ignore it

TeeCee
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WTF?

Makes sense.

The only pop-ups I've seen in ages are those telling me that "Android devise is in damage by four virus" or similar.

I ignore them.

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Samsung points high-speed Z-SSD smack-bang at XPoint

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Well, reliability is something only proven in long-term use. Exactly how many large scale XPoint installations with a couple of years of usage are there out there to back that up?

Hmm, what's that horrible smell? Could it be Horse? Sheep? Pig? No it's definitely Bull...

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Australia's privacy watchdog launches '#Censusfail' probe

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Maybe, as they're not septics, they're still looking for a dictionary that has the word "exfiltrated" in it?

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Watch hot 'stars' shower ... again. It's Perseid meteor showtime

TeeCee
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Re: Any money

And there was I thinking that aggressively peripatetic herds of tripodal, carnivorous vegetation was a bit of a stretch of the imagination as well.

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NASA test foiled by rocket shaking power cord loose from camera

TeeCee
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Happy

Re: Shaky!

Well, now that they've worked out that they need to duct tape the power cord to the camera, I'm sure that a non-shaky video (courtesy of a lot more duct tape on the camera) will be along soon.

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Billion-tonne IceCube: Sterile neutrino does not exist

TeeCee
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And did they subject their findings to the standard CERN validation test for seriously amazing shit (wiggle the wires a bit and then try again)?

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Violence, vandals and vomit: London's naughtiest tech Tube stations revealed

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: SPADs, TDFs, what a cornucopia for disaster

A real heads-up for when the PR bods trot out the old "automation is safer" line.

I wonder how many trains ran a red light on the DLR?

Ah.....thought so.

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$67M in bitcoin stolen as hacking typhoon lashes Hong Kong's Bitfinex

TeeCee
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Stop

.... a hypothetical future Bitcoin movie.

OMFG! Over two hours of propeller-headed geeks and raving conspiracy loons in a love-in of sheer smugness.

I think I'd rather sit through the director's cut of "Watching paint dry".

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Android's latest patches once again remind us: It's Nexus or bust if you want decent security

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: Yawn

Thanks for that. How's life in Google these days?

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Jacob Appelbaum is a bullying sex pest, says ex-employer Tor Project

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: Takeover of TOR

Gosh, I was wondering how long it would take for the raving conspiracy wankhammers to get in on this one. Sneaking in anonymously in full tinfoil-hat mode to grab first post must be a record.

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Zero-day hole can pwn millions of LastPass users, all that's needed is a malicious site

TeeCee
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Facepalm

What goes around...

Well, I laughed.

@ all those touting Lastpass every fucking time a password issue comes up: There's a saying about eggs and baskets which you should probably look up.

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Apple Watch exec Bob Mansfield 'gets into secret Apple car'

TeeCee
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Re: Quality

Ah ye, the Alfasud. Give 'em credit, that was a breakthrough in materials science from the Italians.

Water-soluble steel...

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Harrison Ford's leg, in the Star Wars film, with the Millennium Falcon door

TeeCee
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WTF?

Eh? What?

"and hit a button before starting to walk back through it, believing the set was not live and that it would not close"

So, in effect, he closed the door on himself by being a careless twat.

And some bunch of legal fuckwits compensated him for doing that??!!11!!

So this is how it all ends, not with a bang, but with a lawsuit...

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Micron sets a canary to watch over its stock in case of takeover

TeeCee
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WTF?

...gets to the point in this statement.

I'd hate to see how they'd put that if they wanted to beat about the bush or hide the point in bullshit.

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Nintendo to investors: Pokémon Go won't make money come

TeeCee
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Facepalm

How dare they!

Of course they deserve to be punished. If the great unwashed ever realised that having a massive user base is not the same as having a massive load of cash, the whole house of cards might come down.

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Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out – should you do it?

TeeCee
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Facepalm

"....should you do it?"

Yes if you're 99.99% of people.

No if you own and wear a tinfoil hat which has a propeller on it.

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World religions stake out positions on Pokemon Go

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: Gotta Damn Them All (To Hell) !

Bit silly really, as Mohammed was a top Pokémon trainer in his day.

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Official: AMD now stands for Avoiding Miserable Death

TeeCee
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Also, if it hadn't been for Intel's massive kick up the arse from the AMD Athlon and Opteron 64s, we'd be stuck with bloody Itaniums these days.

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Internet issues again

TeeCee
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Is it just BT? There's been some weird shit going on for the last couple of days.

So far today, Tesco's online payment system is cattle-trucked and anything at ".gov" is lucky lotto as to whether it responds at all[1]. Yesterday morning, every UK site was either slow or unavailable and NatWest fell off the internet completely, even the API connections were unreachable.

[1] Yes, I am trying to sort out the car for another year, why do you ask?

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Raving mad: Glow sticks are secret weapon in Facebook's 2.1Gbps laser internet drones

TeeCee
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Re: Glowing orbs in the sky

....an artilleryman doesn't know friend or foe, only targets.

A fact also well-known by Harrier pilots. When the Falklands went off, some eejit decided that rather than taking an RAF regiment unit, they'd just get 'em to give their Rapier batteries to the pongoes.

The results were what you'd expect from giving an antiaircraft system that effective to a bunch who can't tell the difference between a Harrier and a Mirage from more than 10 feet away.

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How's this for irony? US Navy hit with $600m software piracy claim

TeeCee
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Headmaster

Piracy?

As they are a government fleet, surely they're privateers, not pirates?

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An anniversary to remember: The world's only air-to-air nuke was fired on 19 July, 1957

TeeCee
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IIRC, the specialist on Enola Gay was so worried about the possibility of the thing going off if something went wrong on takeoff, he elected to remove the fuse and explosive trigger. Reassembling same in the bomb bay while in flight was both painful and time-consuming, as the thing hadn't been designed to provide access when in situ.

Tests on the ground had proved it was possible to do this, but only just.

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Coup-Tube: Turkey blocks social networks amid military takeover

TeeCee
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Re: There's more!

The other huge problem is it forces knee-jerk reactionism. Governments no longer have the time to work out a sensible policy before the public goes apeshit over ${agitprop_triviality_of_the_week}.

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Alleged Aussie plum plucker pleads guilty to motel tissue swipe

TeeCee
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Re: "The fate of the allegedly excised testicle"

Sold to a famous Indonesian collector called Lukat Allmi Nutsinjarz.

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TeeCee
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Good thing nobody'd left a lit fag end on the ground, that dog might have gone woof.

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White hat hacker AI bots prepare for DARPA's DEF CON cyber brawl

TeeCee
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Alert

...to find and address exploitable flaws hidden in DARPA-supplied code.

Are they looking at the code itself? If so; DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

That way lies code security testing which only ever finds previously known bug types, or a world of zero-day heaven as I like to think of it.

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Tupperware vehemently denies any link to storage containerisation

TeeCee
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One of many...

There are quite a few firms who go spare at the sight of their product name being used as a generic name for whatever-it-is. Nobody wants to end up like Hoover, with a globally recognised brand that you can no longer claim exclusive use of.

Now that I know that every time I refer to any sort of container as "Tupperware" one of their lawyers dies screaming, I shall do so more often.

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UK.gov flings £30m at driverless car R'n'D, wants plebs to speek their branes

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Still waiting...

....for the showstopper.

At some point, someone will die in an accident involving an autonomous vehicle. At that point the mantra of "even one death is one too many", beloved of the drooling safety nazis, will come out.

It won't matter that more lives are saved by automation, that's the devil's arithmetic[1] and you're not allowed to do it.

[1] See also: "You can't put a price on human life" and similar stupid aphorisms.

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Please stop working and abuse your expense account at the beach

TeeCee
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Conf call to a colleague out on site in Malta.

He went through the issues and came up with something puzzling:

"Ah, could you ask the lads there if they've been doing XYZ?".

"Er, no. There's nobody in the office."

"Why not?"

"It's a Bank Holiday here.".

"Oh dear, it must be terrible being stuck in the office there all on your own..."

"Er, I'm not in the office, it's closed."

"So you're in your Hotel room then?".

"Er, no. I'm in the pool on the roof."

<Sarcasm> "Oh, pardon us for getting you out of the pool to take this call."</Sarcasm>

"That's all right, you didn't. They actually have a bar in the pool itself and I'm using the phone on that."

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414,949 D-Link cameras, IoT devices can be hijacked over the net

TeeCee
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That sounds like too much work. Surely it would be simpler to just capture the current still and then, at the other end, hit "refresh" on your browser really, really quickly?

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A statement from Steven P Bong concerning alleged CV inaccuracies

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: Who????

Well now you've gone and done it!

It seems that Steve Bong neglected to deny that he is Paris Hilton's Online Media Presence Consultant, so he's stuck with that one.

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Isis crisis: Facebook makes Bristol lass an unperson

TeeCee
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Re: Sćüňţhorpe anyone?

Is that in Turkey?

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A trip to the Twilight Zone with a support guy called Iron Maiden

TeeCee
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WTF?

Hmm.

Some time ago, a colleague and I were sat outside a little bar in Cologne, while waiting for the right moment to set off for the airport and due to the heavy night before, we ordered water.

The German waitress asked us, in the slight yank accent alluded to, whether we would like that with gargles.

Cue two puzzled faces.

After some toing and froing we decided that she actually meant "bubbles"....... despite her insistence that she was correct.

Either she was cloth-eared or, somewhere in the Cologne area, there's a yank teaching English who has a mean streak.

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