* Posts by TeeCee

8103 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Apple Watch exec Bob Mansfield 'gets into secret Apple car'

TeeCee
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Re: Quality

Ah ye, the Alfasud. Give 'em credit, that was a breakthrough in materials science from the Italians.

Water-soluble steel...

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Harrison Ford's leg, in the Star Wars film, with the Millennium Falcon door

TeeCee
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WTF?

Eh? What?

"and hit a button before starting to walk back through it, believing the set was not live and that it would not close"

So, in effect, he closed the door on himself by being a careless twat.

And some bunch of legal fuckwits compensated him for doing that??!!11!!

So this is how it all ends, not with a bang, but with a lawsuit...

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Micron sets a canary to watch over its stock in case of takeover

TeeCee
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WTF?

...gets to the point in this statement.

I'd hate to see how they'd put that if they wanted to beat about the bush or hide the point in bullshit.

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Nintendo to investors: Pokémon Go won't make money come

TeeCee
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Facepalm

How dare they!

Of course they deserve to be punished. If the great unwashed ever realised that having a massive user base is not the same as having a massive load of cash, the whole house of cards might come down.

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Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out – should you do it?

TeeCee
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Facepalm

"....should you do it?"

Yes if you're 99.99% of people.

No if you own and wear a tinfoil hat which has a propeller on it.

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World religions stake out positions on Pokemon Go

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: Gotta Damn Them All (To Hell) !

Bit silly really, as Mohammed was a top Pokémon trainer in his day.

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Official: AMD now stands for Avoiding Miserable Death

TeeCee
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Also, if it hadn't been for Intel's massive kick up the arse from the AMD Athlon and Opteron 64s, we'd be stuck with bloody Itaniums these days.

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Internet issues again

TeeCee
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Is it just BT? There's been some weird shit going on for the last couple of days.

So far today, Tesco's online payment system is cattle-trucked and anything at ".gov" is lucky lotto as to whether it responds at all[1]. Yesterday morning, every UK site was either slow or unavailable and NatWest fell off the internet completely, even the API connections were unreachable.

[1] Yes, I am trying to sort out the car for another year, why do you ask?

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Raving mad: Glow sticks are secret weapon in Facebook's 2.1Gbps laser internet drones

TeeCee
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Re: Glowing orbs in the sky

....an artilleryman doesn't know friend or foe, only targets.

A fact also well-known by Harrier pilots. When the Falklands went off, some eejit decided that rather than taking an RAF regiment unit, they'd just get 'em to give their Rapier batteries to the pongoes.

The results were what you'd expect from giving an antiaircraft system that effective to a bunch who can't tell the difference between a Harrier and a Mirage from more than 10 feet away.

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How's this for irony? US Navy hit with $600m software piracy claim

TeeCee
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Headmaster

Piracy?

As they are a government fleet, surely they're privateers, not pirates?

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An anniversary to remember: The world's only air-to-air nuke was fired on 19 July, 1957

TeeCee
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IIRC, the specialist on Enola Gay was so worried about the possibility of the thing going off if something went wrong on takeoff, he elected to remove the fuse and explosive trigger. Reassembling same in the bomb bay while in flight was both painful and time-consuming, as the thing hadn't been designed to provide access when in situ.

Tests on the ground had proved it was possible to do this, but only just.

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Coup-Tube: Turkey blocks social networks amid military takeover

TeeCee
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Re: There's more!

The other huge problem is it forces knee-jerk reactionism. Governments no longer have the time to work out a sensible policy before the public goes apeshit over ${agitprop_triviality_of_the_week}.

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Alleged Aussie plum plucker pleads guilty to motel tissue swipe

TeeCee
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Re: "The fate of the allegedly excised testicle"

Sold to a famous Indonesian collector called Lukat Allmi Nutsinjarz.

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TeeCee
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Good thing nobody'd left a lit fag end on the ground, that dog might have gone woof.

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White hat hacker AI bots prepare for DARPA's DEF CON cyber brawl

TeeCee
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Alert

...to find and address exploitable flaws hidden in DARPA-supplied code.

Are they looking at the code itself? If so; DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

That way lies code security testing which only ever finds previously known bug types, or a world of zero-day heaven as I like to think of it.

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Tupperware vehemently denies any link to storage containerisation

TeeCee
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One of many...

There are quite a few firms who go spare at the sight of their product name being used as a generic name for whatever-it-is. Nobody wants to end up like Hoover, with a globally recognised brand that you can no longer claim exclusive use of.

Now that I know that every time I refer to any sort of container as "Tupperware" one of their lawyers dies screaming, I shall do so more often.

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UK.gov flings £30m at driverless car R'n'D, wants plebs to speek their branes

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Still waiting...

....for the showstopper.

At some point, someone will die in an accident involving an autonomous vehicle. At that point the mantra of "even one death is one too many", beloved of the drooling safety nazis, will come out.

It won't matter that more lives are saved by automation, that's the devil's arithmetic[1] and you're not allowed to do it.

[1] See also: "You can't put a price on human life" and similar stupid aphorisms.

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Please stop working and abuse your expense account at the beach

TeeCee
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Conf call to a colleague out on site in Malta.

He went through the issues and came up with something puzzling:

"Ah, could you ask the lads there if they've been doing XYZ?".

"Er, no. There's nobody in the office."

"Why not?"

"It's a Bank Holiday here.".

"Oh dear, it must be terrible being stuck in the office there all on your own..."

"Er, I'm not in the office, it's closed."

"So you're in your Hotel room then?".

"Er, no. I'm in the pool on the roof."

<Sarcasm> "Oh, pardon us for getting you out of the pool to take this call."</Sarcasm>

"That's all right, you didn't. They actually have a bar in the pool itself and I'm using the phone on that."

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414,949 D-Link cameras, IoT devices can be hijacked over the net

TeeCee
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That sounds like too much work. Surely it would be simpler to just capture the current still and then, at the other end, hit "refresh" on your browser really, really quickly?

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A statement from Steven P Bong concerning alleged CV inaccuracies

TeeCee
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Re: Who????

Well now you've gone and done it!

It seems that Steve Bong neglected to deny that he is Paris Hilton's Online Media Presence Consultant, so he's stuck with that one.

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Isis crisis: Facebook makes Bristol lass an unperson

TeeCee
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Re: Sćüňţhorpe anyone?

Is that in Turkey?

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A trip to the Twilight Zone with a support guy called Iron Maiden

TeeCee
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WTF?

Hmm.

Some time ago, a colleague and I were sat outside a little bar in Cologne, while waiting for the right moment to set off for the airport and due to the heavy night before, we ordered water.

The German waitress asked us, in the slight yank accent alluded to, whether we would like that with gargles.

Cue two puzzled faces.

After some toing and froing we decided that she actually meant "bubbles"....... despite her insistence that she was correct.

Either she was cloth-eared or, somewhere in the Cologne area, there's a yank teaching English who has a mean streak.

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Hubble spies rare cosmic tadpole galaxy

TeeCee
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Then again, if you really want galactic rotation expressed in revolutions per minute you're going to need a shitload of zeroes after the decimal point.

Either that, or you're going to have to hang on really tightly.

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ZTE flagship elbows aside Xiaomi

TeeCee
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Meh

Hmm.

More expensive than a OnePlus 3 with a very similar spec (less memory, less puissant camera, more pixels).

As the pixel density is irrelevant once you get beyond "can't see them" (which both do) we'll have to wait for the reviews as to whether the screen measures up to the OnePlus in use.

As it is, it looks about 50 quid overpriced.....and it only seems to be available in a horrible, tasteless, chav gold finish.

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What Brexit means for you as a motorist

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: On the plus side...

Visa controls? Seriously?

Pigs might fly. Even the bloody US operates a visa waiver for the UK and they're seriously fucking paranoid.

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Never-never chip tech Memristor shuffles closer to death row

TeeCee
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Black Helicopters

Memristor is dead - edged off the table by XPoint.

"Hmm, if HP ever get this Memristor stuff out, that ocean of cash we've hosed over XPoint will be wasted. Call HP and tell 'em they can go whistle for Itanium updates if this ain't killed now."

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My plan to heal this BROKEN, BREXITED BRITAIN

TeeCee
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Missed a trick.

The second referendum will be run under the following rules:

1) The ballot will offer two choices: "Remain" and "Sorry I voted leave last time, but I now wish to remain.".

2) In the unlikely event of a write-in campaign to subvert the democratic process, a result of "Leave" will only be valid if it obtains a Mugabe majority (a minimum of 120% of the vote).

3) Polls will be held every Thursday until the right result is obtained.

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Gun-jumping French pols demand rapid end to English in EU

TeeCee
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....many now suddenly think it is perfectly ok to be brutally racist and ignorant or threaten violence just as general daily conversation....

Yes, I can't stand the Labour "Momentum" types either.

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TeeCee
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Re: In the long run, my money is on Mandarin.

Daft bet, unless someone comes up with a writing system for it that's actually practical.

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TeeCee
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Happy

The one that always cracked me up was the Dutch and Germans talking. In English as, while the Dutchman is almost invariably fluent in German, he's only going to admit that to a bloody German after hell's frozen over.

The actual headline for this article should be: "French make yet another attempt to convince world that French remains relevant as a language. World says 'Meh'..."

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Botnet-powered ballot stuffing suspected in 2nd referendum petition

TeeCee
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Mushroom

Get knotted.

We do real democracy in this country, not Eurodemocracy (tm).

We live with the result, we do not keep holding votes until the proles vote the "right" way, as defined by bien pensant soft-left arseholes.

I have to say that "We don't like the majority view, let's not only have another vote but also change the rules to ensure it goes our way" is a new low for Those Who Know Best.

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DARPA's 'flying wing' drone inches closer to lift-off

TeeCee
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Re: 1950's redux

Chuck Northrop was a serious flying wing enthusiast. Unfortunately he never really cracked the stability problem.

Fly-by-wire solves this and the most recent large-scale look in that direction was the Airbus A380, as it was originally proposed to be a flying wing. This would have only required three engines, carried more passengers and had a shorter wingspan. A win all round.

What scotched this approach was the lack of a "side" to attach a jetway to when the thing's on stand.

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TeeCee
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Re: Reinventing are we?

The biggest problem with the Pogo was landing. It turned out to be really, really, really difficult to reverse an aircraft vertically onto a solid surface without exceeding the limitations of the landing gear[1]. Who could have seen that coming? The results here strongly suggested that attempting to land the thing on a ship in any other conditions than the ship being stationary in a flat calm would be suicidal.

Autonomous systems have no issues here as they can "see" in any direction equally as well as forwards. They also react to changes in situation (moving landing surface, sudden gusts of wind, etc) far more rapidly and accurately than a human pilot can. This makes the concept practical.

[1] a.k.a: "crashing into the ground".

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Israeli researcher fans fears: here's another way to cross the airgap

TeeCee
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Re: I already have a solution...

....pink noise generator....

Is that the entire Frankie goes to Hollywood back catalogue on loop?

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Tech firms reel from Leave's Brexit win

TeeCee
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Re: Really?

Spot on. What you're seeing right now is the speculators filling their boots. This is courtesy of the FUD from the remain camp supplying enough by way of market nervousness to make market manipulation easy.

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TeeCee
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Re: Really?

The EU doesn't give a rat's arse about Spain. Germany on the other hand......

If you look at how much DE sells here and compare that to the opposite direction, they really would be cutting off their nose to spite their face by getting into a trade spat.

As the EU commission's answer to German industry saying "Jump" is invariably "Yessir, how high?", the outcome here is a foregone conclusion.

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Thunder struck: Apple kills off display line

TeeCee
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Flame

Re: Another Apple rots

Hmm. ISTR that the market is about the only thing that magsafe plugs didn't set on fire...

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TeeCee
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Re: Apple displays

Too damned right. Working as an expat in Europe I was horrified to find that the retailers' commitments ended with stamping the warranty card. No liability at all, it was between you and the manufacturer.

If the manufacturer didn't have a local service centre for bulky items, you were truly fucked.

The EU tried very hard to foist this system on us, but those few countries who already had superior rights in place (like us) refused to countenance this. We still got lumbered with two years' warranty liability rather than the open-ended "fit for purpose"[1] provisions of the Sale of Goods Act which often, in court, became more than two years.

The problem is, as usual, with the fact that EU legislation has to be rigidly framed for Code Napoleon rather than allowing the picky detail to be thrashed out by the judiciary as Common Law allows.

[1] e.g. If you sell a phone on a two year contract, then to be fit for that purpose it must last at least two years.

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Special delivery: Activists drop 100,000 net neutrality complaints on FCC

TeeCee
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FAIL

Re: What if our minds are more infinite than the Universe?

...more infinite...

Well, as yours appears to be incapable of understanding the concept of infinity in the first place, the word "our" is misplaced in that question.

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Dev boss: What will Microsoft do with Windows 10 Mobile? Surprise – it's for work!

TeeCee
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Meh

The problem, though, is lack of third-party applications.

Hmm. In the corporate world, that could be considered a plus. Having your users unable to install "unapproved" applications, rather than continually stomping on the ways they've found of doing so, could save effort.

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Holy Crap! Bloke finishes hand-built CPU project!

TeeCee
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....if someone does this with valves I'll be truly impressed!

Er, you have heard of Tommy Flowers and the Colossus?

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LIGO team may have found dark matter

TeeCee
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Re: Sample size?

Presumably that's why this is only a "plausibility argument".

(I'm guessing that's much the same thing as a plausible argument, but translated into American Engrish.)

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Germany: If Brits vote to Remain, we'll admit Hurst's 1966 goal was a goal

TeeCee
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Re: Brits--gift from America if you vote to remain.

Yes, but the Canadians have been getting away with looking pointedly at the ceiling and whistling tunelessly whenever the subject comes up for a long time now.

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Utah sheriffs blow $10,000 on smut-sniffing Labrador

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: What law?

You have to say that, purely from an engineering view, they have a point about Browning.

There aren't many engineers whose basic designs are so perfect and simple that, with minor changes, they are still the de facto standard in the field 100 years later.

Regardless of what you think about guns, Browning was a ruddy genius.

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Pull on your branded rival T-shirt, it's time to party with Nutanix

TeeCee
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Unhappy

Next week....

......ultraconvergence will be the new black.

Then we've got a load of neologisms for superlatives to look forward to.

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Dr Craig Wright lodges 51 blockchain patents with Blighty IP office

TeeCee
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Black Helicopters

Re: Unmask?

Unless Craig Wright takes his mask off[1] revealing that, underneath, he is actually Satoshi Nakamoto.

[1] Mission Impossible style.

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Three non-obvious reasons to Vote Leave on the 23rd

TeeCee
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WTF?

Rant?

Rant away about the "EUSSR".......

I'm not entirely convinced that's a rant. It's got a PolitburoCommission of appointed cronies surrounded by their toadies that wields all the real power and stamps on anyone or anything that threatens it. It has a DumaParliament that exists only to rubber-stamp its superiors' decisions while its members draw a "greedy banker" style salary and benefits package to ensure they STFU and toe the line.

It also has a secret police forcesomething called "Eurojust" to step on any journalists, auditors or anyone with a sense of decency who get close to the truth and destroy any vile bourgeois recidivist liesevidence while they're at it.

The resemblance is actually uncanny, to the extent that I reckon anyone who hasn't spotted that the EU is hell-bent on becoming a totalitarian oligarchy must be blind, stupid or both.

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Hey cloud lawyer: Can I take my client list with me?

TeeCee
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Facepalm

... was fined £300, ordered to pay £405.98 costs and a £30 victim surcharge.

...and if the contacts weren't worth at least a grand to you, you wouldn't have bothered snaffling them in the first place.

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Filet-O-Phish: Insecure NFC tag relics hidden under Maccas tables

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: So

McDonalds and NFC. That was always a perfect storm of security fuckups in the making.

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Swede who spent 28 years vacuuming in the nude to be evicted

TeeCee
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Too right. You could end up getting your dick sucked off.........ah........hang on........

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