* Posts by Nick Palmer

275 posts • joined 28 Feb 2007

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Mike O'Brien becomes NHS IT minister

Nick Palmer
IT Angle

One almost feels sorry for the guy.

The words "chalice" and "poisoned" leap all unbidden to mind...

IT? because they can't seem to work out where it is either...

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Wikipedia bans Church of Scientology

Nick Palmer
Paris Hilton

So, CoS are banned...

...on the basis that they're a deceptive and dangerous cult, with a willingness to practice deception, retcon their own history, indulge in self-serving edits, exploit the unwary and pass off a load of twaddle as facts. And this is WIKIPEDIA banning them for this...??? Oh, the irony...

PH because she's dedicated to stopping people self-serving....

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BNP pleads for cash after reported DDoS assault

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

Distributed Denial of...

...Scumbags? Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice...

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Germans resist Street View invasion of privacy

Nick Palmer
Paris Hilton

OK, correct me if I'm wrong...

...and I'm sure you will because this is the Reg comments we're talking about, but isn't their argument in both this and the pandemic stuff broadly akin to "You should let us shaft you now, because that way it'll hurt less when we do it later"?

PH, since I'm calling her as an expert witness...

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Government rejects Lords' surveillance criticism

Nick Palmer
Stop

This kind of thing...

...is what really REALLY brings on the descending red mist as far as I'm concerned; it's that blithe unconcern and o'erweening arrogance that says that even when the highest court in Europe and our own legislature are telling them that they've overstepped the mark, that they're abusing their own citizens, that the sort of massive and unwarranted surveillance that they're implementing is completely wrong, THEY STILL KNOW BEST. That, and if I hear the phrase "We must strike a balance between..." one more time, just once more, THERE WILL BE BLOOD. I utterly fucking despise the phrase, and anyone who uses it; it's mere weaselling to excuse the further erosion of our rights. Our rights aren't a "balance"; they should be an absolute whose abrogation should only ever occur subject to cause being shown for it that would be sufficient to satisfy a judge or upon actual conviction of an offence. And that should be the case for everyone, even the people we don't necessarily like very much, because if that protection doesn't extend to everyone, then it doesn't protect anyone.

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Yahoo! murders unborn Java smartphone app

Nick Palmer
Thumb Down

Good story...

...stupid company. Thumbs! Down! For! Yahoo!

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NebuAd knocks at death's door

Nick Palmer
Flame

Plus one for...

...the nuclear option. Plus for chucking the whole of the ICO, Home Office (and especially Wacqui Jacqui), CLP and Ofcom in there with 'em, the useless overpaid effete ineffectual negligent incompetent mendacious corrupt WANKERS. Surely the fact that a company that's going into meltdown in the US because it can't get past their laughably "austere" (thanks, Eurofighter...) privacy laws chooses to set up shop here instead ought to give them SOME sort of fucking clue that they've screwed up.

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Microsoft's answer to MobileMe goes public

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

Also worth noting...

...that quite a few hosted Exchange providers will provide you with Sharepoint space as well (in the case of mine, FOC). Good article, loved the "storage card".

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DARPA in useful, easily-achievable project shocker

Nick Palmer

Sounds really useful

But I can see it getting quite complicated quite quickly; presumably different sources will have to be assigned a weighting in determining where one is, and that kind of thing.

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Malware infested MPs' PCs inflate leak risk

Nick Palmer
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@Geoff Mackenzie

That's a nonsensical statement; if you were to send me an email with a virused attachment and my AV software caught it and cleaned it, would it have got to my machine? Yes. Would you have "pwned " my machine? Would you bollocks. Security works best in layers. In an ideal world, would the malware never have got as far as the machines in question? Certainly. Given that it's not an ideal world, however, does the fact that it was caught at the machines mean that they were "pwned"? No. It means that they were caught by one layer of security, albeit later than one would ideally like.

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Nick Palmer
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"Four in five Parliamentary machines...

...pwned in last year"?

Come on, that's NOT what it says at all. 86% have been attacked and 78% were successfully defended automatically by their existing security measures; a long way off perfect, sure, but way WAY off what your sub-heading implies.

As far as use of encryption's concerned, I'd have thought PGP was something of a red herring; better to start with ensuring that all internal traffic is encrypted and use policy-based NAC to ensure that only authorised devices, and even then only authorised devices that meet minimum security requirements can connect in to the network. THEN you can worry about PGP or whatever.

All that said, it's still a huge leap from what's reported to "4 out of 5 machines pwned". Must try harder.

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Beeb tech boss seeks to expand TV licence online

Nick Palmer
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@Dominic Tristram

Bravo, sir, and I'm with you 100%.

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US teen pleads guilty over Scientology DDoS attacks

Nick Palmer

@Tathan Jones

On the offchance that you're serious, V wore a Guy Fawkes mask.

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Wall Street Journal wants your micro-payments

Nick Palmer
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*cough*

"but Thomson told the FT ominously that the sum would be "rightfully high.""

So...not-so-micro-payments then. Fail.

NB: Need WSJ tombstone alongside Reg one.

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Virgin Media cool on cable wholesale plans

Nick Palmer
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Eh?

"investing in broadband upgrades." in VM's case appears to consist of trumpeting ever higher headline speeds whilst imposing increasingly onerous traffic management on the people trying to use them...

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Disclosure to private eyes sometimes legal, says privacy watchdog

Nick Palmer
Coat

Subheading should surely read...

"Good news for mustachioed Ferrari borrowers"

/coat

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Department of Homeland Security to destroy swine flu victims

Nick Palmer
Black Helicopters

And they thought...

...the new administration'd be softies, eh? You have to admit, it's the hard-assed way to quell any possible comments about not taking security seriously! Black helicopter, cause that's the only way I'm travelling anywhere near there in future...

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Meet Phorm's PR genius

Nick Palmer
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*Ahem*

"Patrick does not claim credit for launching Stopphoulplay but wholeheartedly supports the initiative." AND HE SHOULD ENJOY OUR VOCAL AND UNEQUIVOCAL SUPPORT WHILE HE DOES SO! Let's face it, if he's such a champion of something which involves Ertegrul's merry men happily and hyperbolically shooting themselves in the arse, we should be all for it...

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Fujitsu LifeBook P8020

Nick Palmer
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Words like...

...ugly, boring and overpriced leap to mind all unbidden...

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Firefox devs ask navels when to curtail Mac OS support

Nick Palmer
Jobs Horns

SPLORF

""Is that a Firefox problem or just what you get when you buy Apple?" before adding helpfully, "You can always load Linux on that box when Apple stops supporting it.""

Veditz, you bastard! New keyboard and monitor! Now! *choke*! *giggle*!

Evil Stevil on general principles...

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Windows 7 gets built in XP mode

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

@tony72 - VirtualBox...

...is very good; I've used it to access USB storage devices at least, and that seems to be handled OK.

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UK agent leaves secret drugs info on bus

Nick Palmer
Flame

@AC "It's no surprise that "

Absolutely; they wouldn't screw you over by accident; no, sir, they'd betray their entire country and cause hundreds (if not many more) deaths on purpose...or have white male Oxbridge grads like Burgess, Blunt, Philby, McClean and Cairncross been forgotten. Of course, we should completely discount the contributions of, say, people like Violette Szabo or Odette Sansom who were neither male nor Oxbridge. Wanker.

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Supersonic stealth jumpjet passes hover thrust test

Nick Palmer
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OK, Lewis...

...I know you're still highly sceptical about the F35-B, but if the report's accurate, that's got to be good news.

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Street View nod prompts call for privacy watchdog reform

Nick Palmer
Stop

As much...

...as I concur with PI's view that the ICO has signally failed in its duties, this really is the most pointlessly stupid cause to champion; it sounds more to me as though they're trading credibility for headlines. They're right that the ICO has not merely failed, but not even attempted to succeed. However, there are enough genuine privacy threats without harping on about this nonsense.

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Spy chiefs size up net snoop gear

Nick Palmer
Black Helicopters

Repetition don't make it so

Anyone else noticed how this mob repeatedly stress the word "lawful" as though just saying it often enough'll make it so?

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iPhone beta OS cracks before release

Nick Palmer
Jobs Horns

Stolen?

"but most need to put bread on the table and won't support a community whose primary motivation is the use of stolen software. "

Easy, tiger - "bought from somewhere other than Apple's approved AppStore" != stolen, you know. Perhaps you need to back off on the Kupertino Kool-Aid. Evil Stevil for obvious reasons.

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Wikimedia becomes latest to ban Phorm

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

For once...

...they've done something reasonable - big hand for the Wikians

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BOFH: Grand Theft Auto

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

Symantec reseller?

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Actually their board of directors would have been more to the point, but still, a good effort!

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Boeing: Raygun dreadnoughts will rule the oceans by 2019

Nick Palmer

*Ahem*

"meaning that the whole mighty power of their engines could be used by electrical weapon systems on occasion (at the cost of briefly losing propulsion)."

Believe I've see this one already - "Excalibur", think it was - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crusade_(TV_series)

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Acer extends Aspire One netbook line with 11.6in model

Nick Palmer

@AC

OK, that's what YOU want from a netbook, but not everyone wants the same thing. I couldn't really care less about 3G and the 10" screen's a bit too big for me - I prefer the 8.9" screen, since it makes the machines about as compact as the original 7" Eee, but has the same 1024x600 display as the 10" machines.

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Did Sun's total package kill the IBM deal?

Nick Palmer

When you look at it hard enough

IBM doesn't need MySQL - it has DB2. It doesn't need Solaris - there are other Unices which are at least as good. It doesn't need the hardware side, 'cause IBM know how to flog posh iron. That kind of just leaves Java. Not feeling the value there, somehow...

IT? Although really it's more of a "Where's The <Anything> Angle?" from Big Blue's point of view...

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EC blasts mobile masts away from schools and hospitals

Nick Palmer
Joke

So...

...the approach is that there's no scientific evidence of a problem, so we're going to halve the budget for finding actual evidence and use it to support a publicity campaign predicated on the hypotheses for which we haven't been able to find any supporting evidence, despite spending millions looking for it, as well as banning the equipment that we haven't been able to implicate in anything harmful, despite trying our damnedest....

hang on a minute, go with me here...

I haven't got any actual EVIDENCE that Jacqui Smith's been involved in producing crush videos and kiddie porn, but on the basis that there's a risk that she MIGHT be...

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Photocops: Home Office concedes concern

Nick Palmer
Stop

@ Ted Green

In case you didn't read the article properly, the particular searches referred to were being carried out under S1 of PACE which was passed in (appropriately enough) 1984 under the Tories.

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Japanese unleash Jedi Obama

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

Now I get it!

"Change, we need!" anyone?

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Asus Eee Linux-based Skype Videophone

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

Sod the phone...

...I think beach girl may just have been supplanted in the affections of a sizeable portion of the Reg's Eee-perving readership...

Seriously, though, it does look fun - shame it can't be either cheaper or more functional; either would do.

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Irish boffins tackle cow-fart ecopocalypse with fish oil

Nick Palmer
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Yay!

I can (continue to) has cheezburger!

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DARPA at phase 2 on human 'regeneration' tech

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

Well...

...that's my ski-boxing sorted...

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London health authority put on notice over data breach

Nick Palmer
Thumb Down

*facepalm*

You know, initially I thought this must be just the latest variant of that weird seizure disorder that afflicts the public sector when they get hold of a computer with sensitive data on it; you know, the one that renders them completely unable to keep hold of it, wipe it, find it or stop blabbing about it to other departments. Then I realised, it was an Information Sharing Order, it's just that the recipient part of the form was blank, so the ****wits thought that meant the ENTIRE BLOODY WORLD...

Seriously, DBAN. It's not hard FFS and it's free.

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Google designer quits over performance obsession

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

You no can has title

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2009-03-16/

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Robo-fish to hunt pollution in Spanish seas

Nick Palmer
Coat

Robo-carp?

I see El Reg's pun development department isn't flounder-ing; it's stilled perch-ed at the top of the pile, wrass-ling humour from the most unlikely sources...

Mine's the one with the trout in its pocket...

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Government flags ID cost increase

Nick Palmer
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"not a strong enough...

...counter-voice from the government about the benefits"

Well, you hardly need one if you stifle opposition, curtail any discussion and ignore any evidence that calls this disgusting scheme exactly what it is, do you?

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Ingram ups small biz credit

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

More power to 'em

Seriously, it beggars belief that it's a distie like Ingram that's stepping up and making additional credit available, when the banks who are being subbed incredible amounts of money to do the same are either sitting on it or paying inflated bonuses with it.

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Tiscali shares suspended on titsup fears

Nick Palmer
Unhappy

Another Nildram user

We've been using Nildram to provide ADSL to our remote sites for years now, and while it's true that there was a bit of decline after Tiscali took over, more recently they've been great, very reliable and easy to talk to. Fingers crossed they get bought by a decent outfit.

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BOFH: Aspie no questions

Nick Palmer
Happy

"A title is required." is it?

"It's more of a sliding scale"???? ROFL! Awesome!

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Watchdog mauls billboard sex ads

Nick Palmer

@nobby

"Can you imagine, if you just got Hugh Laurie's voice-over on a TV add for a prescription medicine,..."

Well, on the bright side, whatever was wrong there'd be a cast-iron guarantee that it wouldn't be lupus...

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BT Granite slimline DECT cordless phone

Nick Palmer
Thumb Up

"Fortunately, ...

....a monochrome picture's been placed in the battery bay to ensure you fix the red wire at the right end."

ROFL! A truly inspired Motty-ism ("For those watching in black and white, Spurs are in the yellow shirts.")! Well done, sir!

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Operators and handset vendors plug standard charger

Nick Palmer

@Duh...

What do you think makes more money - a generic charger, using an industry standard connector that any company can produce and get certified, or a proprietary one using a non-standard connector that the manufacturer of the phone has to grant a license to produce (or better yet, just makes them themselves), and voids the warranty if a third-party one is used? Especially if the latter costs no more to produce than the former?

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HTC waves wand, pulls second Android phone out of hat

Nick Palmer

Personally...

...I'm more interested in the revamped Touch Pro 2 and Diamond 2 that are on show on the HTC website; they look, frankly, awesome.

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HTC launches updated Touch Diamond and Pro

Nick Palmer
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*sigh*

"The Pro 2’s screen also has the advantage of being able to tilt Xpedia X1-fashion."

Never mind the spelling fail, I think you mean "TyTN II-fashion", which, oddly enough, has been doing this for a while now...

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Brit, French nuke subs collide - fail to 'see' each other

Nick Palmer
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@Stuart Van Onselen

As regards point 3, there was a pretty good novel about that sort of thing called "To Kill The Potemkin" set during the late '60s IIRC.

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