"But I didn't lie on purpose"

The quote, from a discredited psychotherapist, on live television.

So why should anyone, ever, believe what he says?

The unmistakeable sound of.....

Each bike is equipped with a 500W amplifier & stereo speakers to replicate the pleasure provided by the superb 1960's 6-cylinder Honda 250.

So, a true Mac Clone

"Slim and sexy, dahling, but mediocre inside?"

Bit like buying a Porsche with a Fiat engine inside.

Non-adjustable screen height

Use lateral thinking - raise or lower your seat ffs.

One law for us, one law for them

"Don't do as I do, do as I say" Bl@@dy troughers.

What about Discrimination Act & Equal Opportunities.

Troilism anyone?

And who watches the watchers?

"Dell introduces 10in netbook"

Not if Psion gets its way!

Ballooning to "several times their normal size"

.

Tomorrow's press release from Nokia will inform the world of its hasty patent for a new form of Viagra!

Price of Download Speed

.

I'm happy to pay say £10 pcm for "up to 8MB" speed

So long as they accept pro-rata £1.25 /MB delivered speed

The ISPs & the Regulator are too cosy with each other.

Superb Timing

Just the day after Barclays annouces it's sacking 400 IT Staff.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7815759.stm

Objective achieved?

.

Have a slightly risque Ad

Wait for ASA to generate free publicity from column miles of "indignation"

Which will it be..............??

.

Portholes or Arseholes?

Estimated cost

Is that "£12billion" a 'reasonable & realistic' estimate; or, an Olympic-type deliberate underestimate that will end up costing 4x as much - i.e. £1,000 per man woman & child of this already bankrupt nation?

Inactive Turbines

Every 'farm' (i.e. bank of multiple turbines) I see, has at least 20% inoperative; sometimes up to 50% idle.

Drive along the A47 towards Gt Yarmouth and that farm on the coast to the north rarely has more than 50% operative - even on windy days.

What a waste of money.

IDs are a great idea.......

.

If they're so good, make it mandatory for every MP to have one. At their own cost. To "test-drive" the system for say 10 years before a general referendum asks the public for their opinion.

Jacqui should buy the first one. With her own money, and not on expenses.

The simple answer is...............

The simple answer is..........."To remain free from Political Interference"

Photograph of Jesus walking on water

.

Seems the ad campaign may be a waste of money.

Here's a photo of His son walking on water............

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2008/jesus-hydrofoil-p1.php

H M Customs & Revenue next for the chop?

.

Didn't H M C & R lose a little data recently?

"What's wrong with snooping on binmen?" - A J Stiles @ 14:12

It's discrimination.

All Councillors & Council Employees should be under surveillance. All, or none.

Don't just whinge - complain to Ofcom's PayMaster.........

Complain about Ofcom having nothing better to do:-

Office of the Parliamentary Commissioner for Administration

Millbank Tower

Millbank

London

SW1P 4QP

Tel: 0845 015 4033 (enquiry line)

Fax: 020 7217 4000

Email: phso.enquiries@ombudsman.org.uk

Just when you thought Justice<>Common Sense

.

Could anyone advise of cases that aren't "... a fact-intensive inquiry ..."?

Yet another DataBase to lose

.

Ladbrokes have opened a Book, on when the 1st reported "Loss" will occur.

They've opened another one on when the 1st unreported "Loss" occured.

Chichester BC Human Resource Management Strategy

Ironic that they have one.

http://www.chichester.gov.uk/index.cfm?articleid=4662

?Data Protection Act?

1. Shouldn't the Data Protection Act prevent disclosure of identity?

2. Nobody 'Forces' file-sharers to share files. Those that do so should expect to be clobbered.

3. Notice that the Legal eagles make 66% more than the game's Publisher.

From the sublime to the ridiculous

Go to Tesco, buy a bottle of Harpic & a bottle of Domestos.

Don't let anyone know that you've read their warnings not to mix the two.

Be sure to wear a gas-mask if you ignore the warnings.

That combination will kill more than just germs.

Employer's misleading references

But don't Employers already have the opportunity to desribe their opinion of a worker?

Fear of legal action causes the majority to provide 'neutral' comments, when in fact some employees may be real sh1ts.

[OK, OK, some employers can be real sh1ts too, but it's easier for a disgruntled employee to walk, than it is for a disgruntled employee to give a worker the shove.]

"NRB" is succint, truthful and honest.

The Power of the Internet

.

If they hadn't tried to ban it; you wouldn't have reported it; and, I & thousands others wouldn't have considered watching it.

Now that I have, I learn more about the Chinese atrocities towards the Tibetans.

Don't whinge here, Complain to OFCOM & your MP

Mail Bomb graham.howell@ofcom.org.uk & your MP asking why OFCOM should be allowed to steal £400k of OUR licence-payers money.

Just for more profit for BAA

The reason fingerprinting is necessary is because BAA wants to save costs & increase revenuse by "mixing" passengers in a common retail area.

Force the buggers to build separate areas, then fingerprinting is unnecessary.

Extra large = Extra Cost

Seems like a golden opportunity for Durex to charge more for their "Extra-long condoms".

How many guy's ego would let them buy the cheaper 'normal' length ones?

It's not all bad - there's One Good Point....

Seems that at every election & by-election Politicians revel in the photo-opportunity of picking up babies or having school kids sit on their lap.

Now, they'll get prosecuted for doing it without a CRB certificate, or, stop the sickening activity.

Either way, a Win-Win situation for Joe Public.

Idle Wind Turbines

Drive along the "Acle Straight" towards Gt Yarmouth on the A47.

To the north in view for much of the journey, is a clearly visible wind farm, with many turbines.

I don't drive on that road every day, but I've yet to see all turbines rotating simultaneously. Sometimes only about 50% rotate; sometimes fewer than 25%.

A disgraceful waste of capital equipment.

Mandatory CRB check for all adults in contact with children?

There are many instances of photographs published in the press & shown on TV of adults touching children they don't know & who are not related to them.

These adults are known as Politicians, and the events occur around Election Time.

Ministers frequently go into school classrooms for Photo Opportunities.

Presumably they've all had their CRB check? If not, why not?

Actual rate vs advertised price

Is it really beyond the whit of OFCOM to insist that ISPs proportion their charge to their delivered speed?

Advertising......"Up to 8MBps for £10 pcm"

If punter gets only 4MBps average, he pays only £5pcm!

Offensive T-shirts

The MOD can't afford any more bullets, so all soldiers in Afghanistan are being issued with those T-shirts to scare the Taliban sh1tless.

Hidden usage tracking? @ Steven Raith

"...............I don't care about data pharming [arf], provided I have the option to, quite clearly and expressly, opt out of it."

A scary logic.

Much safer, is for a user to have to positively 'opt in'.

MP's Expenses

HMRC (of lost DataBase fame) should simply tax @ 40% all claims NOT supported with a receipt.

Guidance Algorithm

Has to run on OSX; EULA forbids use on Windows or Linux!!

[Don't know what the penalty for contravention will be though. Any suggestions?]

B G vs Accenture

Remember B G (& its pre-privatisation predecessors) have been sending bills to customers for 60 years. They know what they want & what they expect.

At one time BG had the largest non-governmental database in Europe. It worked, & it worked well.

My money's on the benevolent ex-Monopoly.

Judgement on Extreme Porn

If porn is that which is likely to "Deprave & Corrupt".......

And a Judge looks at the evidence..........

By definition, s/he's been depraved & corrupted.

But is a depraved & corrupted person fit to be a (fair) Judge?

Catch 69 anyone?

"Extreme Porn"

An MP's expense account?

Send them to H M Revenue & Customs

They'll lose 'em for free. Never to be seen again.

What's an "Impacted" customer?

Definition(s) of "Impacted"

adj.

Wedged together at the broken ends. Used of a fractured bone.

Placed in the alveolus in a manner prohibiting eruption into a normal position. Used of a tooth.

Wedged or packed in, so as to fill or block an organ or a passage: impacted feces.

What's wrong with the correct "Affected"?

Faster iMacs

Whats the point (no pun intended) of having a faster iMac when it takes forever to scroll the Humble/Mighty Mouse Pointer from one side of their screen to the other?

Try it.

Even as its fastest, you physically have to move their Mouse about 4" / 100mm.

So much for Apple Ergonomics.

Secretgeek - the collective noun for a group of paid-for-lovelies?

Secretgeek asks if anyone knows the collective noun for a group of paid-for-lovelies?

Until now there probably hasn't been one.

I'll start the ball rolling, with.... A "Mosley" of Mistresses.