* Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

913 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007

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DDN chap throws in towel, taps on Accenture’s door

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Meh

Hmmm, perhaps...

But in my experience, what Accenture say that they can deliver, and what they actually deliver without a whole herd of pain and politics, rarely reconcile.

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MAINFRAMES are SO NOT DEAD: IBM's launched a new one

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Happy

Sexy

Similar to a lot of the older, higher-end Sun data centre kit; and as with other higher end i and z series kit from IBM - it certainly is easy on the eye.

Great to see that mainframe is alive and well.

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UNDER A VEST: Man cuffed for smuggling 94 iPhones strapped to his body

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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FAIL

Just when I think humans can't get any more dumb...

Someone goes and raises (or in this case, lowers) the bar.

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Disney, McLaren and National Rail walk into bar: Barkeep, make me a Wearable

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Kevin Johnston...

I believe there is already a company called INOV8 that make sports apparel.

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What an ACE-HOLE! This super-software will whip you at poker, hands down

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Who is playing the role of the independent dealer here?

Who has independently audited that this poker playing computer doesn't know which cards have been dealt the human player?

The computer being both dealer and player in an online game would scare most players off.

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Erik Meijer: AGILE must be destroyed, once and for all

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I'm a developer... WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Geez you "developers" sound like a bunch of self interested whingers if these comments are anything to go by. Don't forget you are employed on a business project to deliver what they want, not the other way round. ANY form of project should be constrained by the limits of time, scope and cost, so what you should be referring to is Agile change management if it is regular ongoing development, not Agile Project management which should have a finite lifecycle.

Regardless - when you reflect on the amount of self interested whinging that gets done by developers, it isn't too hard a leap to understand why Programme and Project managers need to have these regular planning/scrum sessions to ensure that your focus remains the correct one and so that progress reporting is completed accurately.

As a developer, you might think that being "project managed" is beneath you; but I assure you... it is not, and you need to be.

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ALIEN EARTH: Red sun's habitable world spotted 470 light years away

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Great... when will all of the marketing consultants be off there?

Presumably in the "B-ark"?

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THREE MILLION Moonpig accounts exposed by flaw

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I find it helps to have nomadic reclusive tendencies...

The last thing I want to see over any form of public or other occasion are the mewing brattish faces of someone or their wife/husband/offspring/dog/cat/house/car etc that I either don't like or don't remember plastered on a last minute greetings card from this bunch of cowboys, or that other bunch of fuckwits Funky fucking pigeon (that I assume are either part of the same company or equally as shit when it comes to security).

/end_rant

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Banks, UK.gov must work together to beat cyber-nasties

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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But...

Nothing will change until the "actual" board are held accountable - publicly.

Whilst there is no excuse, it is normally some poor overworked sod in IT who has had his budget cut to the bare bones that takes the fall for these issues rather than the money grabbing fucktards at the very top.

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Satyam Computing Services founder jailed over $1.4 BILLION fraud

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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In his defence...

His defence was based around the statement of "well, I was only replicating what I learned at my US business school".

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Musicians sue UK.gov over 'zero pay' copyright fix

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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So how does Amazon "autorip" get away with it?

Last time I bought a CD from Amazon I was also able to download a digital copy for free.

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HP emails personal data of 1,000 CDS workers to 3rd party

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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HP...

Unsurprisingly shit.

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Guess what's missing from Ofcom's big MoD spectrum sale ... YEP, coverage obligation

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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What an absolute fucking scam...

"Here's a piece of air - we've labelled this particular one '3.2GHz' please give me a gazeeelion pounds for it."

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iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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RE : Jobs is not God, Apple is not heaven.

To be honest I chose to not cross a room to watch The Social Network, but ended up watching it by mistake on a flight anyway - and very much enjoyed it.

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Bill Gates, drugs and the internet: Top 10 Larry Ellison quotes

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Love him or hate him...

In everything he's done he's always seemed like a guy who has put his money where his mouth is, so fair play to him.

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Moto 360: Neat gizmo – if you're a rich nerd

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I was hopeful....

That the Apple watch would have function enough to be a replacement (with a decent app) for either the Garmin 910xt or Suunto Ambit. Seeing as they have well and truly missed that boat I've just bought the Ambit 3 which is functionally awesome.

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Fed-up bloke takes email spammers to court – and WINS PILE of CASH

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Pre-ticked opt-in boxes

"Like many people, I detest most direct marketing with a passion. However, I'm still at a loss to see which of the 3 points warrants the downvote."

Presumably having had the opportunity of a decent, albeit state funded education; but still starting your post by showing that you've effectively wasted that opportunity and ended up (by choice, presumably) in a marketing related job warrants the downvote.

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Need reminding how troubled Universal Credit is? MPA puts it in special 'reset' category

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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So...

"The "reset" category has been applied to the Universal Credit project."

Perhaps at the next election the public would be good enough to press the "reset" button on IDS.

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Wolfenstein: The New Order ... BLAM-BLAM! That guard did Nazi that coming

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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An honest question...

Do they have to change things to market this in Germany? I'm just asking as I really don't know the answer, and I'm not sure how these sorts of things go down in de Fazerland.

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JJ Abrams and Star Wars: I've got a bad feeling about this

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Yes, but...

It's not just Abrams, and do I have some sympathy for him because whatever he does he will be hero to some and villain to others; but the media at large have to take some responsibility in hyping up these and other movies into states that they can never live up to.

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Brits to vote: Which pressing scientific challenge should get £10m thrown at it?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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"Regular brits"

That's like, all of us right?

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Internet rejoices over Star Wars, um, clapboard pic

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Well if this is the way it's starts...

By Twattering something as pointless as a clapperboard, you can rest assured that there will be no point in actually going to see the film when it's released as there will be absolutely no mystery left as to what it is or what it is about.

Shame.

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Cloud computing is FAIL and here’s why

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Sorry, but you are incorrect Alistair.

Cloud computing is not FAIL. It is the future and you have to do it because that's what the "experts" are selling, and if you don't then unfortunately lots of advertising executives will go hungry.

And who wants to be responsible for that?

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$3.2bn Apple deal would make hip-hop mogul Dr Dre a BEEELLLIONAIRE

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Isn't Beats Audio just a funky way of saying...

"I paid too much for my headphones".

Agreed, but it also says that "I have no real interest in the actual fidelity of music".

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Cost-cutting Barclays bank swings axe on 5,600 IT and ops bods

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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'Ecky thump!!!!

Crikey... I'd love to see the business analyst or consultancy report that sits behind this re-org as I'm sure it would make for very interesting reading (yes I am being serious); and whilst I have every sympathy for those about to lose their jobs, I also have just about as much for those keeping or inheriting them.

I guess we'll just sit back and watch the fireworks. From a very safe distance.

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Virgin Media sales are a bit flat under the Cable Cowboy's reign

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Just me then...

Just me then that seems to be the only happy VM customer here?

When you consider that all of these companies are all pretty much the same, I had no problems with ordering, lead time, installation or ongoing service - in fact the two installers were two of the happiest and pleasant chaps I've met in a long time, and the 50Mb BB is reliable and quick.

The only downside to the whole shebang that I still have to pay a £13 monthly standing charge for a phone line that I never use.

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Star Wars Episode VII: The Ancient Fear of, er, a CHEESE-TASTIC title?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Ahhh that makes sense...

The ancient... George Lucas. The fear... that he will direct it.

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RBS Group hopes £750m IT shakeup splurge will prevent next bank mainframe meltdown

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ No single point of failure...

I would assume that by design these schedulers, whilst independent on a BAU basis - have been implemented in some form of distributed HA configuration and can assume workload for another in the event of an outage; or at the very least each independent scheduler solution has it's own HA config.

At least I hope that's what they have done.

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Stone the crows, Bouncer! BT defends TV recorder upgrade DELETION snafu

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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ROFL BT...

"Our research shows that the vast majority of customers are happy with their service," he added.

Based on what? The fact that you've not heard from them? That's only because they've most likely given up in frustration trying to get through to your shockingly bad call centre.

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Marauding quid-a-day nosh hack menaces teepee hippie villages

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I know I'll get downvoted but...

All that springs to mind when reading these updates is the intent and lyrics to Common People by Pulp.

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Lost treasure of Atari REVEALED

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Well perhaps it's more a chance to...

Remember that whimsical industrial dumping of this type is no longer really tolerable and to dispose of them in a decent manner. Put them all on eBay for the collectors of flying BMXs, and the stranded Aliens amongst us.

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Oracle accused of breaking US competition law over Solaris support

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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The recurring issue that I am seeing with Oracle, SAP et al...

In terms of new developments, patches and fixes is that the overall level of QA and regression testing completed by these development teams is shockingly bad to the point that I now have to consider us as the end client "beta testers" for pretty much everything that comes out - and I do not think that this is by chance either. It now means that I have to add an extra contingency cost to balance that risk on every Oracle ERP and SAP project that kicks off.

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Look behind you, 'declining' sub-$5bn iPod. The iWatch has come... to EAT YOU

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Happy

Sports

Make it neat, thin and waterproof - and with internal sensors, metering and GPS etc and with a decent app it would make the purchase of an Ambit 2 or 910XT a tricky proposition.

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Dell charges £5 to switch on power-saving for new PCs (it takes 5 clicks)

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I rewrote it for you...

"Using your example it is like Ford, Vauxhall, Porsche, Volkwagen, Volvo, BMW etc etc charging £1500 for sat nav rather than the £200 a decent Tom Tom will cost."

Oh... they'd never do that surely?

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Apple's strong iPhone sales crush Wall Street moneymen's tepid expectations

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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There is no title.

"We're eagerly looking forward to introducing more new products and services that only Apple could bring to market."

ROFL.

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95 floors in 43 SECONDS: Hitachi's new ultra-high-speed lift

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Theoretically...

"presumably for use by the rich execs who work at the top of it"

So, the more morbid part of my mind is trying to work out whether it would be best to work at the top, middle or bottom when one of these super high buildings collapses under the weight of its own hubris?

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Fancy joining Reg hack on quid-a-day challenge?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ I aint Spartacus

"With a budget of £5, I think the answer is a few giant family bags of crisps. Quavers for breakfast, Walkers ready salted for lunch, prawn cocktail for starters and smoky bacon for main course. Who says that's not a balanced diet?"

Aldi do a multipack of 30 packets of crisps for £3. So that's 6 packets per day, or 2 per meal stop. With the remaining £2 I go for a Double Decker 5 pack from Co-Op.

It wouldn't be pretty - but I'd survive.

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Borked Bitcoin bunker MtGox in administration: Lawyer seizes control

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Winkypop

Are you suggesting that Bitcoins migrate?

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KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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The Kraken wakes...

They've been down there all that time... waiting for the right moment to strike...

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Samsung Galaxy S5 fingerprint scanner hacked in just 4 DAYS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Why so slow...

MacGuyver would have done it in 3.

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Apple cooperating at last on antitrust after MONTHS of wrangling – says court watchdog

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Give that arrogant and petulant child a slap.

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You want an IT course? Welcome to QA Training's Week of Free

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Where is the "Become an IT technician and earn up to £30,000 per year" course?

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Parent gabfest Mumsnet hit by SSL bug: My heart bleeds, grins hacker

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Double edged sword...

Great to know that this OpenSSL flaw is being publicized, but it probably hasn't helped that almost all tech and news publications have dissected in very great detail the flaw itself, and how to exploit it.

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Android engineer: We DIDN'T copy Apple OR follow Samsung's orders

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ 1.07billion in lost profits??

"These must be the same guys who say that piracy is causing billions of dollars worth of lost sales and destroying the "free" market"

And to add, that they also totally failed to justify how they reached the figure of "billions" as quoted.

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Misco Shared Services Centre drone brands customer 'insane'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Bloody amateurs...

I raise your Talk Talk... with Co-Operative energy.

There is incompetence - and then there is plain and stupid fuckwittery - across their whole "customer service" department; which I now realize seemingly only comprises of around 2 people if their stated 10 day response time to emails, and the never ending "call queue" is anything to go by.

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Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Personally...

For me at least, this whole "audiophile" thing is a bit pointless. Listening to music for me is all about actually listening to the music. Rhythm, message, overall composition etc etc.

I'm just as happy sticking on my 1978 copy of DSotM as I am my 2008 CD version.

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Half of Twitter's 'active users' are SILENT STALKERS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Semtex451

"I blame the BBC and others for encouraging Twitter adoption by referencing it in various shows at every opportunity."

I agree. The winter Olympics coverage on the BBC became nigh on unwatchable due to all of the enforced "hashtag this" and "hashtag that" and "hashtag x" and "hashtag y" crap being spewed.

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Right, Turkey – elections are over. You can use Twitter again

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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If Carrie Fisher were Turkish...

"The more you tighten your grip, Turk, the more tweets will slip through your fingers."

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Home Office terminates order for 16,000 PCs from Dell

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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No doubt the conversation went something like this...

"Yes, that's fine Dell, we're the government so we're happy for you to start the build and config work at risk while we raise the necessary purchase order against our supplier framewor... oh..."

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Microsoft CEO Nadella names his Xbox and Cloud OVERLORDS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Meh

"More of the magic of Xbox to all form factors"

I can hardly wait already.

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