* Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

1051 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007

Page:

Star Wars: Episode VIII delayed by six months

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Don't care. Episode VII was crap. But...

I do quite like Rian Johnsons work. The quality of Episode VIII won't be judged around the director however, it'll be judged by the story and script, which if later Star Wars films are anything to go by - appear to be overly underwhelming. If it has dialogue similar to Johnsons movie "Brick" however, it could be fun...

Generic Empire baddie: You've helped the Empire out before.

Generic character: No, I gave you Skywalker to see him eaten, not to see you fed.

Generic Empire baddie: Fine. And very well put.

Generic character: Accelerated English, Mr. Yoda.

Generic Empire baddie: Tough teacher?

Generic character: Tough but fair.

1
1

Robotic exoskeleton market to grow 40 per cent a year until 2025

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge
Alien

Robotic exoskeletons are handy...

If you find yourself in France, stuck in a continual time loop trying to defeat an aggressive alien race bent on your destruction.

0
0

Apply online to go to Mars. No, seriously

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Re: talented men and women from diverse backgrounds and every walk of life

Which is why this is actually just a silly PR stunt.

0
0

How to build a real lightsabre

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

How do you make a lightsabre...

Someone ask Jeff Vader. I think you'll currently find him in the queue of the Death Star canteen.

2
0

HPE's private London drinking club: Name that boozer

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

It should be called "The Professional Service"

With a motto above the bar that in big friendly letters states that "We're not satisfied until you're not satisfied..."

2
0

VPN users menaced by port forwarding blunder

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Re VPN

I trialled the AirVPN service (3 days free trial if you email them asking for it).

I DDWRT'ed my WDR4300 router as I wanted all devices sat behind the router encrypted as part of my tests - and the DDWRT firmware has the various VPN clients inbuilt. The problem I found is that routers for home use generally don't have the CPU grunt to chew through the AES256 encryption cipher quickly enough, hence the overall speed via VPN seems limited by the router (i.e. 1/5th of the non VPN throughput).

If anyone can recommend a SOHO or lower cost small business device device that could replace it then I would appreciate it. I was initially looking at a Zyxtel USG or Zywall device or similar...

0
0

IOCCO: Police 'reckless' for using terrorism powers on journo sources

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

And what is being done...

To make sure that this doesn't happen again, and again, and again...?

16
0

Oracle confesses to quietly axing its UK software support centre

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Just when I thought service couldn't get any worse...

My favourite is when they close existing SRs or Product enhancement requests without even providing any form of response.

Awesome.

2
0

Remember Windows 1.0? It's been 30 years (and you're officially old)

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Ahhh Windows 3.11 for Workgroups...

And that 27 3.5" floppy disk install set.

I'm not going anywhere near 8 or 10 though. I think it's time I went back to Fedora, or to try Korora.

2
7

It's come to this for IBM: Watson is now a gimmick app on the iPhone

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

So using your post as a starting point...

Can we all overrule Watson when it states that it believes it "exists"?

That would be fun.

1
0

Virgin Media daddy Liberty Global swoops on Cable & Wireless Communications

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Watershed indeed...

Never will so many tears be shed over such crap customer service.

2
1

French Playmobil heist: El Reg denies involvement

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

One can only hope that...

Perhaps they'll use this as the central story arc for the next series of Braquo or Engrenages?

1
0

D-Wave heads for New Mexico

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Yes, it is a Quantum computer.

Oh, err... but since I've now observed it I'm not so sure. Oh heck - to be honest I've no idea as I don't actually understand half of the blurb on their webpage.

Colour me very interested though. But I'd refute the statement about not having to blow things up. Surely it's always much more fun to blow things up. Small countries and brown people and the like?

3
0

Your taxes at work: Three hours driving to turn on politician's PC

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

I once spent...

36 hrs straight in a datacentre - diagnosing, planning, reinstalling/reconfiguring to PROD status a 6 frame AS/400 and integrations for a large media company after a total and complete systems failure. To this day I still get chilling flashbacks whenever I hear "JD Edwards" mentioned.

They gave me sweet FA. But I did get paid day rate x 1.5 in full rather than TOIL so that was nice - although I admit, not quite as nice as free membership to a local political party :-$

3
0

US Congress grants leftpondians the right to own asteroid booty

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Hmmm, this could ultimately lead to a blockade on key trade routes...

Best send in a couple of Jedi. If you can't find any Jedi, then I guess Liam Neeson and that Scots twerp will suffice.

0
0

Virgin Media hikes broadband, phone prices by five per cent

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

* sigh *

So I currently pay £24 per month to Virgin for 50meg BB which includes a phone line that I have not ever used. Yes it annoys me that I receive an email stating that I am getting a "free" speed increase, but it is inevitable that I will end up paying for it somewhere down the line. I will phone them up and demand to not pay for the increase - and generally, once you do manage to get through to someone at VM, I've found them very reasonable.

The issue though is - where else do you go if you do decide to leave them, when the rest of the cartel are all as bad as each other... or worse.

1
0

Identifying terrorists: Let's find a value for needle in haystack

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

I hate to say it, but...

I have a sad, dark feeling that the reason that our Illustrious Home Secretary has ommitted a lot of the safeguards and cross-referencing and aligning to other "higher ranking" fundamental bills of civil right is that this bill is essentially fait accompli.

I'm not sure I want to overplay it too much, and looking at in the context of the overall political processes currently in play surrounding the civilian referendum on the EU exit, to my mind this bill as it currently stands represents nothing less than the rape of our democratic process unless a similar referendum is allowed on this insidious piece of "potential" legislation.

12
0

Man hires 'court hacker' on Craigslist ... who turned out to be a cop

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

@ Christoph...

I'm not sure that is how it works - and I am more than happy for anyone more knowledgeable to correct me here. But I believe that up to a certain threshold the "victim" gets their entire monetary award immediately (i.e. after 30/60 days etc.) from a state restitution fund or similar - or at the very least, as staged payments if it is a larger amount.

The perp on the other hand has to pay back the fund that has paid out the award to the victim - hence balancing those scales - but usually on an affordability / monthly repayment basis. So I assume he'd been paying back a set amount per month or similar.

The net affect is that I don't think the victim has to wait until the perp pays the fine (in part or in full), prior to receiving their award.

Still, I agree with other sentiments - surely the charge should have been "intent"... but I recognise that the "intent" had already transgressed to "conspiracy" the moment he engaged with the undercover cop.

1
0

9 cuffed over £60 million banking scam targeting UK businesses

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

I, err...

I can't remember the last time I received a call from any of the service providers or banks etc that I use - whether that be from a real representative, or a cockwombling scammer.

I'm starting to feel a bit left out now :-(

1
0

Chaos at TalkTalk: Data was 'secure', not all encrypted, we took site down, were DDoSed

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Rewrote it for you...

A representative who we can now only assume will be from TalkTalk claimed it was "contacting all our customers straight away to let them know what has happened and to update all of their nice scrummy payment and user credential information. We might keep them up to date as we learn more. But we might not. As might not actually be us."

3
0

CISA latest: Law urging tech giants to share your info with the Feds shows no sign of stopping

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Just wait...

This is exactly the issue that the Daily Mail reading idiots seem to be ignoring in their "UK out of EU" rants. If we are forced out of the EU by the reactive uninformed masses, then this (or similar) will be one of the very first draconian policies that will be implemented in the UK.

3
1

Lotus F1: 38°C? Sand in your Vblocks? Must be building a data center in Bahrain again

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Sorry to be pedantic...

But in my experience of being an IT bod at a large well known F1 company, the IT supplier and sponsorship arrangement wasn't just about, as you put it "making the car go faster" it was also very much about getting the equipment and funds to just keep the racing team and associated "businesses" solvent so they could build "a" car in the first place.

3
0

Hated Capita Contingent Labour One contract will be overhauled

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

But what the Capita spokesperson should have said was...

"More than 60 per cent of the work under Contingent Labour 1 is awarded to SMEs. Of the 348 suppliers on the framework, 322 are SMEs. The framework has been designed, and is run, in the manner required by the senior government officials that also have a large stakeholding or board level directorship at Capita. But take it from me, there IS no conflict of interest here. Honestly... 'ish"

5
0

Job alert: Is this the toughest sysadmin role on Earth? And are you badass enough to do it?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Not a chance!!!

Kurt Russell barely escaped with his life after a stint down there.

0
0

Ad networks promise to do something about the awful adverts you're all blocking, like, real soon

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Click on this story, you won't believe what happens next...

Yay, you've been clickjacked. Welcome to the internet.

0
0

Weight, what? The perfect kilogram is nearly in Planck's grasp

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

1kg

And there was me thinking that the SI measure for 1kg was the ubiquitous bag of Tate & Lyle.

Who knew.

3
0

After Burner: Sega’s jet-fighting, puke-inducing arcade marvel

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Doh!!!!

I now have the Space Harrier theme tune stuck in my head.

2
0

Twitter reduces BBC hacks to tears with redundancy notice

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Fnarr!!!

Dry your eyes princess, this is a serious business...

*cough* *cough*

3
0

Laser razor binned from Kickstarter resurfaces on Indiegogo

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

As per Sir Bedevere in Monty Python and the Holy Grail...

Oh... ummm... look, if we built this large wooden badger...

10
0

UK Broadband suffers £37.5m loss after big Relish investment

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

At what point do you realise...

That (A) the marketing space for consumer comms if spaffed full of similar "hip and beardy" post-modern sounding companies shilling this stuff to the point of overload; that (B) the majority of people are just past caring because it'll be a shit service - despite what the marketing says otherwise, and (C) most likely seem to prefer to make do with what they get from their current mobile provider because it's just less hassle that way?

Perhaps it's just the way I read the story, or perhaps it's they way it is written - but I sensed a germ of that insidious self-entitlement creeping into their statement.

0
0

Noughty by nature: Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection and Rock Band 4

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Where do I start...

Firstly, in my gaming experience (which may have either started with Snafu on the Mattel Aquarius, or a ZX81 version of Star Trek), UC2 - Amongst Thieves is probabaly the single most complete "experience" I have had as a gamer. It is stunning from beginning to end - almost a proper interactive movie. I've not had the chance to play TLOU yet, but I hear that is pretty damn good also.

As to should you buy this if you already have them on PS3? IMHO - I can't really see why you would. I have seen UC2 running on the PS4, and for me, whilst it looks pretty - there is something more gritty and "real looking" to the 30fps PS3 version. The 60fps anmations look "jerky" and unnatural compared to the smoother 30fps version also - that's how it appears to me anyway.

UC4 on PS4 is definately making me want to upgrade, however the amount of existing PS3 games that are being re-done and sold at full cost all "sparkly sparkly" on PS4 is cause for concern.

0
0

Oracle, SAP, IBM: They're rubbish and charge you billions for Excel, says man

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Not in my experience...

I have worked for, at, and on many SAP and Oracle EBS client sites on both greefield and brownfield projects and programmes. Most, if not all are using the ERP tools for full BPI, Financial accounting and Treasury, SCM, FSCM and legacy data integration et al - as they are purposed to leverage the benefits these systems bring.

I've not come across, or know of any that use ERP tools to solely print invoices.

Yes they can be a pain to implement - but that is generally not the softwares fault.

4
1

The Steve Jobs of supercomputers: We remember Seymour Cray

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Pretty sure...

The first real "CGI" in movies was done on a CRAY XMP. The Last Starfighter and such like...

9
0

Ex-Autonomy CEO Mike Lynch sues HP for $150m+

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

HP Sauce

Way to go Mike. This utter fiasco is just another example of HP doing BAU.

Anyone know when this actually goes to court? Looking forward to following the progress.

9
0

Boeing builds British Airways 787 Dreamliner in 4 minutes

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Expensive, but the service is always first class...

I once had to get back to London from San Fran in a great hurry. I booked a last minute ticket with Virgin only to be told that the plane was full when I turned up to board (i.e. overbooked). Nothing they could do about that apparently - I just had to wait for the next flight (3hrs later).

After approaching to BA desk to see if they had anything - they walked me straight through the airport security, straight onto the plane, into the jump seat, and home for free. I even got a bottle of champers.

Class.

4
0

Slander-as-a-service: Peeple app wants people to rate and review you – whether you like it or not

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

We're the social network for people who hate people...

We don't have a large number of users.

5
0

AF-FIR-MAT-IVE: Second suspension for robot-voice helldesker

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Perhaps he has an attitude problem...

Maths grads generally believe they are smarter than the average bear or above the general churn of life. Until it comes to finding a job or more "common sense" tasks. Don't even get me started on my view of the MBAs that I have had the pleasure of watching fail when they have been faced with practical or complex tasks in real world situations.

I may be being a little harsh, but if he was that good then surely he wouldn't be working on the helpdesk? And if he has worked on bigger and better things in the past, then perhaps he needs to look at himself in the mirror for the answers rather than acting like a child as it appears in this case.

Chip on his shoulder you say? I say it's the entire timber yard.

0
10

Web ad tried to make my iPhone spaff a premium-rate text, says snapper

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Re: Advertising: mankind's most useless invention

You know what Dadmins doing? He’s going for that anti-marketing dollar. That’s a good market. He’s very smart. He’s also going for the righteous indignation dollar. That’s a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We’ve done research – huge market. He’s doing a good thing.

The anger dollar too. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market. Dadmins very bright to do that.

RIP Bill.

1
0

Relax Schrems, EU-US Safe Harbour ruling coming soon

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Oh no, let me shed a little tear...

“If the agreement becomes invalid, businesses such as Google and Facebook will need to significantly restructure how they manage and use data. The cost implications could be huge, with many of them having to extensively expand their data centre capacity throughout Europe,”

Shame. My heart is err... bleeding.

11
1
Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

RE : "The US does not and has not engaged in indiscriminate surveillance of anyone"

Quite right in that it doesn't do that. In fact it actually engages in the discriminate surveillance of everyone (allegedly).

And - "has been critically important to the protection of individual privacy and the conduct of commerce on both sides of the Atlantic; it has served, and continues to serve, as a model around the world for the protection of individual privacy and flow of data across national borders".

To paraphrase Mandy Rice-Davies... well, they would say that, wouldn't they.

13
1

Massive global cooling process discovered as Paris climate deal looms

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

@ Keef : VOCs

No, but you can buy a nice 1 litre tin of plankton. It comes in one colour only though, but does glow faintly in the dark.

8
0

Capita: O2 call centre staff exodus is premature evacuation

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

What a way to spin it...

"Capita is making the redundancies because it noted a change in the habits of O2 customers seeking support, with traditional call volumes dropping in favour of other channels."

In English, what that means is that under the auspices of the standard response when you phone them up of "Sorry, we are experiencing an unexpectedly high volume of calls, please wait." (Really??? At 7:30 am???) Capita have either actually already reduced the number of call centre staff, or have introduced a mandatory call transfer delay when you phone them up (which by the way you are paying Xp per minute for) which actually forces people to give up trying to call and try these other channels of communication.

So I call this a sham. "Noted a change in the habits"?? Yes, I agree - but a change in habit actually engineered by O2 and Capita as a cost saving measure by making the experience of phoning them an utterly futile and pointless exercise.

5
0

NSA? Illegal spying? EU top lawyer is talking out of his Bot – US gov

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Have another upvote AndyS

Pretty much mirrors what I would have written.

7
0

Ofcom triples licence fees for mobile operators to £200m

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

So, like the actual "spectrum" itself...

Conjured up out of thin air?

1
0

EE is UK's biggest loser on customer broadband gripes – AGAIN

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

@ AndrueC

RE Virgin : TBH if my service is anything to go by then I'm not surprised. I've not had any issues over the last year at all other than one overnight outage when a workman cut through a main internet pipe (tut tut, ever heard of redundancy Virgin??).

However, when my contract recently expired I was offered a much faster service for £12pm less than I was paying, and I've just been emailed regarding another "free" speed upgrade - although I'm sure I'll pay for that down the line somewhere.

I'd quite like them to ditch the line rental as I have never used my land line service so I do feel a bit aggrieved at this, however, this seems trifling considering the issues other broadband customers seem to be having.

1
0

Michigan sues HP after 'botched' $49m upgrade leaves US state in 1960s mainframe hell

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge
FAIL

This very much sounds like...

A par-for-the-course clusterfuck as delivered by HP Services. You remember their motto right : "at HP Professional services... we're not satisfied, until you're not satisfied".

I don't doubt that there may have been changes and the like on the customer side - but I doubt that would have continued far beyond formal contractual renegotiations; especially if HP agreed to what one assumes would be fairly robust accountability, penalty and contract variation clauses.

However, this as reported does sound EXACTLY the way HP operate, and of my recent experience of (unfortunately) working near to them on other large contracts. Too many managers who have no idea how to do detailed technical project or programme management; or to talk technically to the ream of outsourced suppliers and sub-contractors that HP use. They can't even do standard/modern stuff well, so god knows what their approach was to really old legacy and mainframe stuff which really requires the upfront legwork and due-dilligence.

Finally in my experience - I've yet to come across an HP consultant / programme or project / technical delivery manager that can do the detailed technical planning and delivery control required to an even moderate level.

Shocking. But unsurprising.

4
0

BBC Micro:bit delayed by power supply SNAFU

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

So far...

The BBCs digital initiative of stuff has been a bit crap. First this delay, and then their awful "Gamechangers" film. The only "game changing" thing about that was that it was a clear statement of how to make a shit film. So perhaps it was educational in that aspect.

I have enjoyed watching the cache of 1980s Micro live programmes trawled up from the archives on iPlayer though.

0
0

Sharp's new TV has over 7,000 lines of pixels – but there's NOTHING TO WATCH

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Alternatively...

If I want to see "arty clips of nature" as you so eloquently put it, I could save £84,980 by buying a ticket to Marwell zoo? Or saving the whole balance by taking a walk down by the sea?

I'm sure the resolutions of my visit would be much higher than 8k as well?

4
0

Oracle: Over here, look over here! At the cloud! No, not at our glum licensing numbers

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

I'm still constantly surprised at how shit Oracle are...

In my recent (and not so recent experience) of running Oracle and SAP programmes and projects, my view is that it would help both companies if they started releasing software that actually worked out of the box, or after configuration.

It seems to me that these days, both companies align to the strategy of shoving half-baked applications and services out of the door without the requisite testing having been done; and then use their customer implementation projects as beta-tests, only to be fixed by a myriad of (also crap) patches down the line - thereby delaying many a go-live.

Don't get me started on the quality of the Oracle UK "consulting and implementation" team. They are not far off of making HP Professional services look halfaway competent.

2
3

SAP CEO McDermott loses AN EYE, almost his life in horror plunge

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Bronze badge

Best of luck to him on his recovery.

Luckily his eyes were in an active-active configuration so the failover was almost immediate with no downtime... but there will be an unfortunate 50% loss of service.

15
0

Page:

Forums