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* Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

897 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007

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Fed-up bloke takes email spammers to court – and WINS PILE of CASH

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Pre-ticked opt-in boxes

"Like many people, I detest most direct marketing with a passion. However, I'm still at a loss to see which of the 3 points warrants the downvote."

Presumably having had the opportunity of a decent, albeit state funded education; but still starting your post by showing that you've effectively wasted that opportunity and ended up (by choice, presumably) in a marketing related job warrants the downvote.

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Need reminding how troubled Universal Credit is? MPA puts it in special 'reset' category

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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So...

"The "reset" category has been applied to the Universal Credit project."

Perhaps at the next election the public would be good enough to press the "reset" button on IDS.

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Wolfenstein: The New Order ... BLAM-BLAM! That guard did Nazi that coming

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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An honest question...

Do they have to change things to market this in Germany? I'm just asking as I really don't know the answer, and I'm not sure how these sorts of things go down in de Fazerland.

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JJ Abrams and Star Wars: I've got a bad feeling about this

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Yes, but...

It's not just Abrams, and do I have some sympathy for him because whatever he does he will be hero to some and villain to others; but the media at large have to take some responsibility in hyping up these and other movies into states that they can never live up to.

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Brits to vote: Which pressing scientific challenge should get £10m thrown at it?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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"Regular brits"

That's like, all of us right?

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Internet rejoices over Star Wars, um, clapboard pic

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Well if this is the way it's starts...

By Twattering something as pointless as a clapperboard, you can rest assured that there will be no point in actually going to see the film when it's released as there will be absolutely no mystery left as to what it is or what it is about.

Shame.

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Cloud computing is FAIL and here’s why

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Sorry, but you are incorrect Alistair.

Cloud computing is not FAIL. It is the future and you have to do it because that's what the "experts" are selling, and if you don't then unfortunately lots of advertising executives will go hungry.

And who wants to be responsible for that?

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$3.2bn Apple deal would make hip-hop mogul Dr Dre a BEEELLLIONAIRE

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Isn't Beats Audio just a funky way of saying...

"I paid too much for my headphones".

Agreed, but it also says that "I have no real interest in the actual fidelity of music".

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Cost-cutting Barclays bank swings axe on 5,600 IT and ops bods

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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'Ecky thump!!!!

Crikey... I'd love to see the business analyst or consultancy report that sits behind this re-org as I'm sure it would make for very interesting reading (yes I am being serious); and whilst I have every sympathy for those about to lose their jobs, I also have just about as much for those keeping or inheriting them.

I guess we'll just sit back and watch the fireworks. From a very safe distance.

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Virgin Media sales are a bit flat under the Cable Cowboy's reign

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Just me then...

Just me then that seems to be the only happy VM customer here?

When you consider that all of these companies are all pretty much the same, I had no problems with ordering, lead time, installation or ongoing service - in fact the two installers were two of the happiest and pleasant chaps I've met in a long time, and the 50Mb BB is reliable and quick.

The only downside to the whole shebang that I still have to pay a £13 monthly standing charge for a phone line that I never use.

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Star Wars Episode VII: The Ancient Fear of, er, a CHEESE-TASTIC title?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Ahhh that makes sense...

The ancient... George Lucas. The fear... that he will direct it.

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RBS Group hopes £750m IT shakeup splurge will prevent next bank mainframe meltdown

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ No single point of failure...

I would assume that by design these schedulers, whilst independent on a BAU basis - have been implemented in some form of distributed HA configuration and can assume workload for another in the event of an outage; or at the very least each independent scheduler solution has it's own HA config.

At least I hope that's what they have done.

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Stone the crows, Bouncer! BT defends TV recorder upgrade DELETION snafu

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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ROFL BT...

"Our research shows that the vast majority of customers are happy with their service," he added.

Based on what? The fact that you've not heard from them? That's only because they've most likely given up in frustration trying to get through to your shockingly bad call centre.

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Marauding quid-a-day nosh hack menaces teepee hippie villages

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I know I'll get downvoted but...

All that springs to mind when reading these updates is the intent and lyrics to Common People by Pulp.

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Lost treasure of Atari REVEALED

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Well perhaps it's more a chance to...

Remember that whimsical industrial dumping of this type is no longer really tolerable and to dispose of them in a decent manner. Put them all on eBay for the collectors of flying BMXs, and the stranded Aliens amongst us.

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Oracle accused of breaking US competition law over Solaris support

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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The recurring issue that I am seeing with Oracle, SAP et al...

In terms of new developments, patches and fixes is that the overall level of QA and regression testing completed by these development teams is shockingly bad to the point that I now have to consider us as the end client "beta testers" for pretty much everything that comes out - and I do not think that this is by chance either. It now means that I have to add an extra contingency cost to balance that risk on every Oracle ERP and SAP project that kicks off.

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Look behind you, 'declining' sub-$5bn iPod. The iWatch has come... to EAT YOU

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Happy

Sports

Make it neat, thin and waterproof - and with internal sensors, metering and GPS etc and with a decent app it would make the purchase of an Ambit 2 or 910XT a tricky proposition.

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Dell charges £5 to switch on power-saving for new PCs (it takes 5 clicks)

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I rewrote it for you...

"Using your example it is like Ford, Vauxhall, Porsche, Volkwagen, Volvo, BMW etc etc charging £1500 for sat nav rather than the £200 a decent Tom Tom will cost."

Oh... they'd never do that surely?

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Apple's strong iPhone sales crush Wall Street moneymen's tepid expectations

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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There is no title.

"We're eagerly looking forward to introducing more new products and services that only Apple could bring to market."

ROFL.

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95 floors in 43 SECONDS: Hitachi's new ultra-high-speed lift

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Theoretically...

"presumably for use by the rich execs who work at the top of it"

So, the more morbid part of my mind is trying to work out whether it would be best to work at the top, middle or bottom when one of these super high buildings collapses under the weight of its own hubris?

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Fancy joining Reg hack on quid-a-day challenge?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ I aint Spartacus

"With a budget of £5, I think the answer is a few giant family bags of crisps. Quavers for breakfast, Walkers ready salted for lunch, prawn cocktail for starters and smoky bacon for main course. Who says that's not a balanced diet?"

Aldi do a multipack of 30 packets of crisps for £3. So that's 6 packets per day, or 2 per meal stop. With the remaining £2 I go for a Double Decker 5 pack from Co-Op.

It wouldn't be pretty - but I'd survive.

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Borked Bitcoin bunker MtGox in administration: Lawyer seizes control

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Winkypop

Are you suggesting that Bitcoins migrate?

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KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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The Kraken wakes...

They've been down there all that time... waiting for the right moment to strike...

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Samsung Galaxy S5 fingerprint scanner hacked in just 4 DAYS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Why so slow...

MacGuyver would have done it in 3.

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Apple cooperating at last on antitrust after MONTHS of wrangling – says court watchdog

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Give that arrogant and petulant child a slap.

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You want an IT course? Welcome to QA Training's Week of Free

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Where is the "Become an IT technician and earn up to £30,000 per year" course?

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Parent gabfest Mumsnet hit by SSL bug: My heart bleeds, grins hacker

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Double edged sword...

Great to know that this OpenSSL flaw is being publicized, but it probably hasn't helped that almost all tech and news publications have dissected in very great detail the flaw itself, and how to exploit it.

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Android engineer: We DIDN'T copy Apple OR follow Samsung's orders

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ 1.07billion in lost profits??

"These must be the same guys who say that piracy is causing billions of dollars worth of lost sales and destroying the "free" market"

And to add, that they also totally failed to justify how they reached the figure of "billions" as quoted.

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Misco Shared Services Centre drone brands customer 'insane'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Bloody amateurs...

I raise your Talk Talk... with Co-Operative energy.

There is incompetence - and then there is plain and stupid fuckwittery - across their whole "customer service" department; which I now realize seemingly only comprises of around 2 people if their stated 10 day response time to emails, and the never ending "call queue" is anything to go by.

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Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Personally...

For me at least, this whole "audiophile" thing is a bit pointless. Listening to music for me is all about actually listening to the music. Rhythm, message, overall composition etc etc.

I'm just as happy sticking on my 1978 copy of DSotM as I am my 2008 CD version.

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Half of Twitter's 'active users' are SILENT STALKERS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Semtex451

"I blame the BBC and others for encouraging Twitter adoption by referencing it in various shows at every opportunity."

I agree. The winter Olympics coverage on the BBC became nigh on unwatchable due to all of the enforced "hashtag this" and "hashtag that" and "hashtag x" and "hashtag y" crap being spewed.

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Right, Turkey – elections are over. You can use Twitter again

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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If Carrie Fisher were Turkish...

"The more you tighten your grip, Turk, the more tweets will slip through your fingers."

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Home Office terminates order for 16,000 PCs from Dell

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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No doubt the conversation went something like this...

"Yes, that's fine Dell, we're the government so we're happy for you to start the build and config work at risk while we raise the necessary purchase order against our supplier framewor... oh..."

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Microsoft CEO Nadella names his Xbox and Cloud OVERLORDS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Meh

"More of the magic of Xbox to all form factors"

I can hardly wait already.

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HP settles lawsuit after Mad Leo's WebOS and PC biz shenanigans

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re Leo & Autonomy...

"JUST BUY THE DAMN COMPANY. I DON'T CARE HOW, OR FOR HOW MUCH - JUST BUY IT!!!"

PS : I think that's exactly how it went.

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Titanfall, shoot-'em-up gamers, cloudy contracts and cattle

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Control

"We want the option to be in control, even if we never exercise it."

But that is the last thing in the world that MS want you to have. The cluster fuck of a PR exercise on the 6 month run up to the launch of their new console proves that they want to own everything and allow you the privilege only of "licensing" your £50 piece of software. If it weren't for the media shitstorm that followed their announcements then you'd be stuck unable to re-sell validly purchased software.

I'm not aware that the user is able to sign up to an SLA when playing online as MS only goal is get as many players ringfenced onto their solution as possible.

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Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Yeah... I suppose it would be funny...

If it were funny.

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Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Queue simulator...

For those that can't queue enough.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Grand theft Guildford.

No real criminal elements. Just upper middle class twits pretending to be "gangsta".

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ISPs CAN be ordered to police pirates by blocking sites, says ECJ

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Ok, so...

First sites that host "protected content" (whatever the f**k that actually means), then I have no doubt that this will be extended to sites that do not agree with EU or government policy or opinion and such like?

This whole judgement is wrong on so many levels. But by that ruling I am assuming that the highways agency can now be held accountable for allowing criminals access to jewellery stores and banks yes?

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BT snatches crown: Soars to top of complaints list

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Bollocks statistics...

I'm not with BT so am not commenting on their service per se. My gripe is with how you can have 0.32 or complaints per 1000 customers?

Can we not just have have some common sense rounding up?

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BOYCOTT FIREFOX, rage gay devs as Mozilla appoints JavaScript daddy as CEO

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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It's their right to boycott whatever they want...

Just as it's the rest of the worlds right to ignore them.

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Schoolkids given WORLD'S CHEAPEST TABLETS: Is it really that hard to swallow?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Surely India has bigger problems...

Unless these are being used to teach reading, writing and maths to the millions of Indian kids that don't come from a wealthy background that enables them to go to college or University then I'd say they are pointless.

A country where a girl is murdered by her own parents for marrying the wrong "type" of man is a country that has more fundamental need of reform and a look hard look at itself and social structure - rather than supplying tablets to schoolchildren where clean water, safe sanitation, a blackboard and some motivated teachers would suffice.

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Cops bang up squiffy, nude Virginian minx

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Cute.

Nothing more to add.

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Bono bests Bezos in Fortune's 'World's 50 Greatest Leaders' list

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Other than...

Other than leading his once most awesome band down a dead end alley and on into rock mediocrity, I'm not sure what it is that Bono has actually led to validate his appearance on ANY list of inspiring leaders?

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Ad-funded mobile carrier goes titsup

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Where was the money invested?

Bitcoins perhaps?

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Oxfam, you're full of FAIL. Leave economics to sensible bods

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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This is not recent...

I had the misfortune of working for them in a low ranking IT project role during the mid 90's. It seemed to me then that it was essentially staffed by pretentious affluent graduate types trying to push their own agendas rather than the overall "charitable" mission statement.

As few years later on I had tea with an ex-pat lady living in Cameroon who stated to me that her primary observation was that the Oxfam people who generally come over to "do good" are generally upper/middle class twits, clueless, and see placements as a cheap gap-year or as an option ticked on a life checklist rather than from any sense of wanting to achieve anything.

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Whitehall and Microsoft thrashing out 1-year NHS WinXP lifeline

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Nice to see...

How nice to see my monthly NI contributions ending up lining MS's pockets.

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Keep your quinoa, hipsters: Boffins back healthy slabs of choc

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ JimBoom

I see no reason why you shouldn't at least test your own theory, with... at least one or two packets :-)

Enjoy.

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Osbo's booze, bingo, biz and big data Budget

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ JurassicPark

"I know for most southerners there is no life north of Watford Gap"

This is incorrect. For me, Guildford is the North. Anything above this may as well be the icy wastes of the Arctic.

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