* Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

1074 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007

Page:

Europe's Earth-watching sat beams back icy first pic

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Forget the science for a moment...

And bathe in the glorious beauty of the Northern wastes.

FYI - There isn't enough life on that ice cube to fill a space cruiser!

2
0

Food for Deep Thought: 42 is IBM's answer to Life, the Universe and Everything...

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Sigh...

Zooey Deschanel.

2
0

Watch it Apple: time has come for cheaper rivals' strap-ons

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Re: Too late to market...

Really? You think both of those are worth the price Apple et al are shilling the watch for. Wow!!! No wonder they make so much money out of you iFools.

1
5
Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Too late to market...

The only real proper application for these that I can see, other than simply being able to tell the time is for the sports & outdoor communities. Unfortunately for Apple, Samsung et al, they have been well and truly beaten to market (and functional use) by Garmin and Suunto, which incidentally, both of whoms devices mostly cost a lot less than the basic Apple watch.

Please don't tell me that being able to read an email or txt on your watch is a killer app - because it's not; especially when, in the case of the Apple watch, it needs to be tethered to the bloody phone in the first place. When Apple release a watch that can do swim, bike, run and climb - at a hop, a skip and a jump, then I may take a look. At the moment however it looks as though Mssr Ive has been drinking in a bit too much of his own ego.

There are a few here in my office that have the Apple watch. Most agree that it was a waste of money.

4
0

First rocket finally departs Russia's Vostochny cosmodrome

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Great pictures.

As per the title.

I always find there something beautifully industrial and pragmatic about Soviet space hardware, despite its tendency to "overreact" sometimes.

7
0

SpaceX: We'll land on Mars in 2018 (cough, with NASA's help)

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

!!!*!!!*!!!*!!!

ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS — EXCEPT EUROPA

ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE

5
0

Panama Papers graph database cracked open for world+dog

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Re: Meanwhile the guy in Honduras Embassy

Frodo Baggins?

6
0
Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

I'm all for this...

I'm all for this, and I truly believe that this controlled leaking and analysis is the only way that these corrupt financial systems will be carved open and investigated. I honestly do not believe that ANY politician really has the will to change it all - despite much rhetoric.

I am a little sceptical however that this will REALLY change anything. The HSBC leaks were well over a year ago and as far as I can see (and I am prepared to be corrected) it's business as usual for them still? As the banks, lawyers, politicos et al are all in it together, and all as bad as each other, they all just seem to be a bit "meh" about it as they know the shitstorm will die down and that ultimately... that nothing will change. And that is a fucking tragedy.

I'll ceveat the above in that I'm not following this all the time so am happy to hear the latest opinions.

9
0

175 teams, 4 continents, $36,000: It's the Amazing HPC Cluster Race

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

I can only imagine the afterparty (and spot the sideloaded Crysis pun)...

16 teams shuffling around looking a tad awkward while their HPC behemoths attempt to load and run Crysis; or waiting until their "deep neural learning machines" invent the new Hot Chip album from a predetermined set of mathematical rules. Whats a blast!!!!

0
0

El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse spared chickpea ordeal

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

@ Sorry to hear the project is on hold...

Global chickpea shortage.

4
0

It really is time to sort out your professional indemnity insurance

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Since this is a promo piece, can I do it too...

I get mine from Bodgeitt, Leggett and Scarper Ltd. I've never needed to invoke it's use but they seem like trustworthy people.

2
0

EC cooking up rules change for aggressive tax avoiders

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Phew... over €750m only.

That the b'jeezus for that. For a minute there I thought I'd have to declare that all of my company profits were held as cash and stuffed under the matre... oh...

2
0

IBM's tops sales staff face long haul...to Hawaii

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Yeah but... no but...

“offensive in the extreme when GTS is laying off so many people with statutory packages as they claimed enhanced payments were not affordable”.

Yeah but, it's a different cost centre so it's all right innit?

2
0

Dropping 1,000 cats from 32km: How practical is that?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge
Thumb Up

And this...

... is why I love El Reg. I can't find this sort of informative copy anywhere else on the interwebs.

16
0

Trump carded again: Hotel security aced

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Re: Cartoon land

Lol. Perhaps he can also visit the Acme "strap a giant rocket to your back" factory. Apparently it is located somewhere down near Mexico.

4
1

'Panama papers' came from email server hack at Mossack Fonseca

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

I'm an international money launderer...

Luckily the 50 euro note that I'd left in my jeans after a recent trip to Austria was still in one piece when it came out of the washing machine.

13
0

UK.gov watchdog growls at firms that pass off advertorials as real opinions

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Re: "maintain trust online"

A fairly depressing summation. But one that I sadly agree with.

8
0

Okay IT pros, change happens. But here's your Reg guide to staying in control

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

@ Scope creep...

Possibly. But I agree with the sentiment of the article in that it's not necessarily scope creep that causes projects or programmes to fail, but the lack of an adequately scaled or robust programme framework with the rigorous functional governance in place to manage and control it.

"The most insidious way this happens is when the client's idea of what they've asked for gradually changes without them realising it. Because we're all supposed to be agile now the requirements can be as vague as they like"

But this isn't "Agile". It sounds as though your organisation (like many) don't understand the method. You reap what you sow though right...

0
0

If Jack Sprat ran an IT department

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

@ Dan Wilkie...

I agree. Nothing new here in terms of technology, or approach.

3
0

French publishers join Swedish 'Block Party' to pester ad refuseniks

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

No great loss.

No great loss as far as I see it...

ITV.com, Channel 4oD, City AM, The Telegraph and Mirror Group.

Spewers of ad-laden shite the lot of them.

12
0

Union warns of second round of 'massive' layoffs at IBM in Europe

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Re: Good for the goose...

Whilst (being an ex-IBM'er myself) I have every sympathy for those in the firing line, I'd not agree that IBM are treating them badly per se; yes, they are treating them to the absolute minimum letter of HR requirements - but then again, IBM has been on a very well publicized downwards spiral for the whole of this decade and ALL employees should have been cognicent that this is what the new IBM policy looks like since Ginny took the reins and subsequently they should have been be prepared for that worst case rather than living on feather beds continuing to believe and expect that IBM is still the loyal "job for life" organisation that it was back in the 70's and 80's.

I left IBM in 2005 and these winds of change were already starting to blow back then.

2
0
Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Re: Where next?

Didn't they also have one that played Poker? I think there is still some money to be made in that racket if you can play at a decent level - although I'm not sure if there is a rule where you have to be able to physically handle your hole cards.

I'm not sure a bunch of POWER750's could manage that.

3
0

Gov to take axe to big IT contracts soon, will hand chunks to SMEs

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

But why would any smaller SME want to...

Not withstanding the huge time and cost that needs to be accounted for to jump through the ludicrous procurement and supplier management hoops and general bureaucracy; in terms of getting paid, any smaller supplier would need to be nuts to consider working under any larger programme framework when due to no fault of theirs, they are unable to deliver due to the whole programme going tits-up further up the food chain.

1
0

Star Wars: Episode VIII delayed by six months

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Don't care. Episode VII was crap. But...

I do quite like Rian Johnsons work. The quality of Episode VIII won't be judged around the director however, it'll be judged by the story and script, which if later Star Wars films are anything to go by - appear to be overly underwhelming. If it has dialogue similar to Johnsons movie "Brick" however, it could be fun...

Generic Empire baddie: You've helped the Empire out before.

Generic character: No, I gave you Skywalker to see him eaten, not to see you fed.

Generic Empire baddie: Fine. And very well put.

Generic character: Accelerated English, Mr. Yoda.

Generic Empire baddie: Tough teacher?

Generic character: Tough but fair.

1
1

Robotic exoskeleton market to grow 40 per cent a year until 2025

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge
Alien

Robotic exoskeletons are handy...

If you find yourself in France, stuck in a continual time loop trying to defeat an aggressive alien race bent on your destruction.

0
0

Apply online to go to Mars. No, seriously

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Re: talented men and women from diverse backgrounds and every walk of life

Which is why this is actually just a silly PR stunt.

0
0

How to build a real lightsabre

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

How do you make a lightsabre...

Someone ask Jeff Vader. I think you'll currently find him in the queue of the Death Star canteen.

2
0

HPE's private London drinking club: Name that boozer

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

It should be called "The Professional Service"

With a motto above the bar that in big friendly letters states that "We're not satisfied until you're not satisfied..."

2
0

VPN users menaced by port forwarding blunder

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Re VPN

I trialled the AirVPN service (3 days free trial if you email them asking for it).

I DDWRT'ed my WDR4300 router as I wanted all devices sat behind the router encrypted as part of my tests - and the DDWRT firmware has the various VPN clients inbuilt. The problem I found is that routers for home use generally don't have the CPU grunt to chew through the AES256 encryption cipher quickly enough, hence the overall speed via VPN seems limited by the router (i.e. 1/5th of the non VPN throughput).

If anyone can recommend a SOHO or lower cost small business device device that could replace it then I would appreciate it. I was initially looking at a Zyxtel USG or Zywall device or similar...

0
0

IOCCO: Police 'reckless' for using terrorism powers on journo sources

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

And what is being done...

To make sure that this doesn't happen again, and again, and again...?

16
0

Oracle confesses to quietly axing its UK software support centre

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Just when I thought service couldn't get any worse...

My favourite is when they close existing SRs or Product enhancement requests without even providing any form of response.

Awesome.

2
0

Remember Windows 1.0? It's been 30 years (and you're officially old)

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Ahhh Windows 3.11 for Workgroups...

And that 27 3.5" floppy disk install set.

I'm not going anywhere near 8 or 10 though. I think it's time I went back to Fedora, or to try Korora.

2
7

It's come to this for IBM: Watson is now a gimmick app on the iPhone

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

So using your post as a starting point...

Can we all overrule Watson when it states that it believes it "exists"?

That would be fun.

1
0

Virgin Media daddy Liberty Global swoops on Cable & Wireless Communications

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Watershed indeed...

Never will so many tears be shed over such crap customer service.

2
1

French Playmobil heist: El Reg denies involvement

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

One can only hope that...

Perhaps they'll use this as the central story arc for the next series of Braquo or Engrenages?

1
0

D-Wave heads for New Mexico

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Yes, it is a Quantum computer.

Oh, err... but since I've now observed it I'm not so sure. Oh heck - to be honest I've no idea as I don't actually understand half of the blurb on their webpage.

Colour me very interested though. But I'd refute the statement about not having to blow things up. Surely it's always much more fun to blow things up. Small countries and brown people and the like?

3
0

Your taxes at work: Three hours driving to turn on politician's PC

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

I once spent...

36 hrs straight in a datacentre - diagnosing, planning, reinstalling/reconfiguring to PROD status a 6 frame AS/400 and integrations for a large media company after a total and complete systems failure. To this day I still get chilling flashbacks whenever I hear "JD Edwards" mentioned.

They gave me sweet FA. But I did get paid day rate x 1.5 in full rather than TOIL so that was nice - although I admit, not quite as nice as free membership to a local political party :-$

3
0

US Congress grants leftpondians the right to own asteroid booty

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Hmmm, this could ultimately lead to a blockade on key trade routes...

Best send in a couple of Jedi. If you can't find any Jedi, then I guess Liam Neeson and that Scots twerp will suffice.

0
0

Virgin Media hikes broadband, phone prices by five per cent

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

* sigh *

So I currently pay £24 per month to Virgin for 50meg BB which includes a phone line that I have not ever used. Yes it annoys me that I receive an email stating that I am getting a "free" speed increase, but it is inevitable that I will end up paying for it somewhere down the line. I will phone them up and demand to not pay for the increase - and generally, once you do manage to get through to someone at VM, I've found them very reasonable.

The issue though is - where else do you go if you do decide to leave them, when the rest of the cartel are all as bad as each other... or worse.

1
0

Identifying terrorists: Let's find a value for needle in haystack

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

I hate to say it, but...

I have a sad, dark feeling that the reason that our Illustrious Home Secretary has ommitted a lot of the safeguards and cross-referencing and aligning to other "higher ranking" fundamental bills of civil right is that this bill is essentially fait accompli.

I'm not sure I want to overplay it too much, and looking at in the context of the overall political processes currently in play surrounding the civilian referendum on the EU exit, to my mind this bill as it currently stands represents nothing less than the rape of our democratic process unless a similar referendum is allowed on this insidious piece of "potential" legislation.

12
0

Man hires 'court hacker' on Craigslist ... who turned out to be a cop

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

@ Christoph...

I'm not sure that is how it works - and I am more than happy for anyone more knowledgeable to correct me here. But I believe that up to a certain threshold the "victim" gets their entire monetary award immediately (i.e. after 30/60 days etc.) from a state restitution fund or similar - or at the very least, as staged payments if it is a larger amount.

The perp on the other hand has to pay back the fund that has paid out the award to the victim - hence balancing those scales - but usually on an affordability / monthly repayment basis. So I assume he'd been paying back a set amount per month or similar.

The net affect is that I don't think the victim has to wait until the perp pays the fine (in part or in full), prior to receiving their award.

Still, I agree with other sentiments - surely the charge should have been "intent"... but I recognise that the "intent" had already transgressed to "conspiracy" the moment he engaged with the undercover cop.

1
0

9 cuffed over £60 million banking scam targeting UK businesses

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

I, err...

I can't remember the last time I received a call from any of the service providers or banks etc that I use - whether that be from a real representative, or a cockwombling scammer.

I'm starting to feel a bit left out now :-(

1
0

Chaos at TalkTalk: Data was 'secure', not all encrypted, we took site down, were DDoSed

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Rewrote it for you...

A representative who we can now only assume will be from TalkTalk claimed it was "contacting all our customers straight away to let them know what has happened and to update all of their nice scrummy payment and user credential information. We might keep them up to date as we learn more. But we might not. As might not actually be us."

3
0

CISA latest: Law urging tech giants to share your info with the Feds shows no sign of stopping

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Just wait...

This is exactly the issue that the Daily Mail reading idiots seem to be ignoring in their "UK out of EU" rants. If we are forced out of the EU by the reactive uninformed masses, then this (or similar) will be one of the very first draconian policies that will be implemented in the UK.

3
1

Lotus F1: 38°C? Sand in your Vblocks? Must be building a data center in Bahrain again

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Sorry to be pedantic...

But in my experience of being an IT bod at a large well known F1 company, the IT supplier and sponsorship arrangement wasn't just about, as you put it "making the car go faster" it was also very much about getting the equipment and funds to just keep the racing team and associated "businesses" solvent so they could build "a" car in the first place.

3
0

Hated Capita Contingent Labour One contract will be overhauled

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

But what the Capita spokesperson should have said was...

"More than 60 per cent of the work under Contingent Labour 1 is awarded to SMEs. Of the 348 suppliers on the framework, 322 are SMEs. The framework has been designed, and is run, in the manner required by the senior government officials that also have a large stakeholding or board level directorship at Capita. But take it from me, there IS no conflict of interest here. Honestly... 'ish"

5
0

Job alert: Is this the toughest sysadmin role on Earth? And are you badass enough to do it?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Not a chance!!!

Kurt Russell barely escaped with his life after a stint down there.

0
0

Ad networks promise to do something about the awful adverts you're all blocking, like, real soon

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Click on this story, you won't believe what happens next...

Yay, you've been clickjacked. Welcome to the internet.

0
0

Weight, what? The perfect kilogram is nearly in Planck's grasp

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

1kg

And there was me thinking that the SI measure for 1kg was the ubiquitous bag of Tate & Lyle.

Who knew.

3
0

After Burner: Sega’s jet-fighting, puke-inducing arcade marvel

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Silver badge

Doh!!!!

I now have the Space Harrier theme tune stuck in my head.

2
0

Page:

Forums