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* Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

877 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007

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Fancy joining Reg hack on quid-a-day challenge?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ I aint Spartacus

"With a budget of £5, I think the answer is a few giant family bags of crisps. Quavers for breakfast, Walkers ready salted for lunch, prawn cocktail for starters and smoky bacon for main course. Who says that's not a balanced diet?"

Aldi do a multipack of 30 packets of crisps for £3. So that's 6 packets per day, or 2 per meal stop. With the remaining £2 I go for a Double Decker 5 pack from Co-Op.

It wouldn't be pretty - but I'd survive.

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Borked Bitcoin bunker MtGox in administration: Lawyer seizes control

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Winkypop

Are you suggesting that Bitcoins migrate?

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KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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The Kraken wakes...

They've been down there all that time... waiting for the right moment to strike...

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Samsung Galaxy S5 fingerprint scanner hacked in just 4 DAYS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Why so slow...

MacGuyver would have done it in 3.

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Apple cooperating at last on antitrust after MONTHS of wrangling – says court watchdog

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Give that arrogant and petulant child a slap.

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You want an IT course? Welcome to QA Training's Week of Free

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Where is the "Become an IT technician and earn up to £30,000 per year" course?

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Parent gabfest Mumsnet hit by SSL bug: My heart bleeds, grins hacker

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Double edged sword...

Great to know that this OpenSSL flaw is being publicized, but it probably hasn't helped that almost all tech and news publications have dissected in very great detail the flaw itself, and how to exploit it.

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Android engineer: We DIDN'T copy Apple OR follow Samsung's orders

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ 1.07billion in lost profits??

"These must be the same guys who say that piracy is causing billions of dollars worth of lost sales and destroying the "free" market"

And to add, that they also totally failed to justify how they reached the figure of "billions" as quoted.

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Misco Shared Services Centre drone brands customer 'insane'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Bloody amateurs...

I raise your Talk Talk... with Co-Operative energy.

There is incompetence - and then there is plain and stupid fuckwittery - across their whole "customer service" department; which I now realize seemingly only comprises of around 2 people if their stated 10 day response time to emails, and the never ending "call queue" is anything to go by.

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Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Personally...

For me at least, this whole "audiophile" thing is a bit pointless. Listening to music for me is all about actually listening to the music. Rhythm, message, overall composition etc etc.

I'm just as happy sticking on my 1978 copy of DSotM as I am my 2008 CD version.

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Half of Twitter's 'active users' are SILENT STALKERS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Semtex451

"I blame the BBC and others for encouraging Twitter adoption by referencing it in various shows at every opportunity."

I agree. The winter Olympics coverage on the BBC became nigh on unwatchable due to all of the enforced "hashtag this" and "hashtag that" and "hashtag x" and "hashtag y" crap being spewed.

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Right, Turkey – elections are over. You can use Twitter again

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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If Carrie Fisher were Turkish...

"The more you tighten your grip, Turk, the more tweets will slip through your fingers."

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Home Office terminates order for 16,000 PCs from Dell

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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No doubt the conversation went something like this...

"Yes, that's fine Dell, we're the government so we're happy for you to start the build and config work at risk while we raise the necessary purchase order against our supplier framewor... oh..."

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Microsoft CEO Nadella names his Xbox and Cloud OVERLORDS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Meh

"More of the magic of Xbox to all form factors"

I can hardly wait already.

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HP settles lawsuit after Mad Leo's WebOS and PC biz shenanigans

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re Leo & Autonomy...

"JUST BUY THE DAMN COMPANY. I DON'T CARE HOW, OR FOR HOW MUCH - JUST BUY IT!!!"

PS : I think that's exactly how it went.

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Titanfall, shoot-'em-up gamers, cloudy contracts and cattle

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Control

"We want the option to be in control, even if we never exercise it."

But that is the last thing in the world that MS want you to have. The cluster fuck of a PR exercise on the 6 month run up to the launch of their new console proves that they want to own everything and allow you the privilege only of "licensing" your £50 piece of software. If it weren't for the media shitstorm that followed their announcements then you'd be stuck unable to re-sell validly purchased software.

I'm not aware that the user is able to sign up to an SLA when playing online as MS only goal is get as many players ringfenced onto their solution as possible.

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Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Yeah... I suppose it would be funny...

If it were funny.

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Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Queue simulator...

For those that can't queue enough.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Grand theft Guildford.

No real criminal elements. Just upper middle class twits pretending to be "gangsta".

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ISPs CAN be ordered to police pirates by blocking sites, says ECJ

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Ok, so...

First sites that host "protected content" (whatever the f**k that actually means), then I have no doubt that this will be extended to sites that do not agree with EU or government policy or opinion and such like?

This whole judgement is wrong on so many levels. But by that ruling I am assuming that the highways agency can now be held accountable for allowing criminals access to jewellery stores and banks yes?

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BT snatches crown: Soars to top of complaints list

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Bollocks statistics...

I'm not with BT so am not commenting on their service per se. My gripe is with how you can have 0.32 or complaints per 1000 customers?

Can we not just have have some common sense rounding up?

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BOYCOTT FIREFOX, rage gay devs as Mozilla appoints JavaScript daddy as CEO

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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It's their right to boycott whatever they want...

Just as it's the rest of the worlds right to ignore them.

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Schoolkids given WORLD'S CHEAPEST TABLETS: Is it really that hard to swallow?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Surely India has bigger problems...

Unless these are being used to teach reading, writing and maths to the millions of Indian kids that don't come from a wealthy background that enables them to go to college or University then I'd say they are pointless.

A country where a girl is murdered by her own parents for marrying the wrong "type" of man is a country that has more fundamental need of reform and a look hard look at itself and social structure - rather than supplying tablets to schoolchildren where clean water, safe sanitation, a blackboard and some motivated teachers would suffice.

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Cops bang up squiffy, nude Virginian minx

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Cute.

Nothing more to add.

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Bono bests Bezos in Fortune's 'World's 50 Greatest Leaders' list

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Other than...

Other than leading his once most awesome band down a dead end alley and on into rock mediocrity, I'm not sure what it is that Bono has actually led to validate his appearance on ANY list of inspiring leaders?

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Ad-funded mobile carrier goes titsup

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Where was the money invested?

Bitcoins perhaps?

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Oxfam, you're full of FAIL. Leave economics to sensible bods

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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This is not recent...

I had the misfortune of working for them in a low ranking IT project role during the mid 90's. It seemed to me then that it was essentially staffed by pretentious affluent graduate types trying to push their own agendas rather than the overall "charitable" mission statement.

As few years later on I had tea with an ex-pat lady living in Cameroon who stated to me that her primary observation was that the Oxfam people who generally come over to "do good" are generally upper/middle class twits, clueless, and see placements as a cheap gap-year or as an option ticked on a life checklist rather than from any sense of wanting to achieve anything.

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Whitehall and Microsoft thrashing out 1-year NHS WinXP lifeline

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Nice to see...

How nice to see my monthly NI contributions ending up lining MS's pockets.

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Keep your quinoa, hipsters: Boffins back healthy slabs of choc

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ JimBoom

I see no reason why you shouldn't at least test your own theory, with... at least one or two packets :-)

Enjoy.

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Osbo's booze, bingo, biz and big data Budget

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ JurassicPark

"I know for most southerners there is no life north of Watford Gap"

This is incorrect. For me, Guildford is the North. Anything above this may as well be the icy wastes of the Arctic.

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MPs urge UK.gov to use 1950s obscenity law to stifle online stiffies

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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As far as I am aware...

It's not in the best interests of the government to allow the parents to do the parenting in this case. What better solution for them is there than by pandering to the bored Netmums minority than to introduce a technological filtering solution, and that once all of those annoying civil liberties campaigners have got bored, and once the media hoo-haa has died down, can then be expanded to block other so called "problem" areas of the internet.

You might think that this is all a mish mash of unplanned and ill considered initiatives by Govmt. - but I assure you it is nothing of the kind. It is direct and planned censorship, and we are all complicit. 10 years down the line we will have the same restrictions as China. Although in our case I bet everything will be blocked except that which brings in some form of revenue via a Google, Twitter or FB tax.

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Virtual reality? Two can play THAT GAME, says Sony: New headset revealed for the PS4

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I'm all for this stuff...

But the Oculus Rift DEVs need to get a product to market ASAP otherwise they will be swamped by the big boys.

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Feds charge three in brain-ache $15m Pentagon payroll pillage plot

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Dear Mr USA fed man...

Dear America investigatory person man.

I love to respond to charges but am justing about to pick up new Ferrari sport car and take for spin around Sevastopol harbour boulevard with girlfriend.

Might try respond when can be arsed.

Love.

Oleksiy Sharapka

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Pegatron goes on hiring spree as iPhone 6 release date approaches

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Unhappy

Worrying.

"Apple experts recently ruled that Pegatron was not responsible for the death of an underage factory worker."

Really? And since when did Apple become the arbiter of global human working conditions? I guess it's only a cheap Asian worker though so who cares eh? No doubt if Apple found them all living up to their eyeballs in shit it would also be ok right, because Apple says so?

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PAF! MPs go postal over postal location data sell-off by Coalition.gov

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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So where were the committee...

When the due dilligence was being done on the contents of the RM sell off? And why didn't they make more of an issue of it at that point?

Sleeping on the job no doubt.

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China's annual TV smear segment drags Nikon's name through the mud

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Bumpy Cat

You've put me off of my chinese chips and curry sauce now with that "gutter oil" linky.

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iPhone 6 FEELS your heat, wetness... and it'll TELL Apple – report

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Over a hundred billion in the bank...

Like what? Come on professor AC - give us an example?

The whole phone thing has been done to death, and apart from minor tweaks and geek features most us will never use - this pointless sort of crap is most likely all you'll see year in year out from this point forward.

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Alibaba float could make Facebook's look like small change

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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A better investment opportunity...

Over the weekend I had a clear out of my garage and have discovered : loads of old pieces of wood of various lengths and types, an ancient hedge trimmer (with plug), quite a few old tins of paint, a Black and Decker dustbuster that upon user acceptance testing didn't actually bust any dust, and finally an early 80's Raleigh Ace bicycle whose wheels had rusted away. I have been assured this morning by my investment bank that the fact that the Raleigh Ace was located behind the garage rather than "in" the garage, and covered in brambles - won't affect its £50 billion valuation.

So, I'm planning to float these impressive resources on the stock exchange on Thursday for about £400 billion, as it could contain the seeds of a great web business, as it also comes with some dead spiders who seem to have been productive at some time previous.

Let me know if you're interested. I'll be hanging around outside Costas in Shorditch with a brass begging bowl from Tuesday lunchtime onwards.

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SATANIC 'HELL DIAMOND' tells of sunless subterranean sea

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Well, it makes sense that...

As most of the subduction zones are located underwater, that a huge volume of highly pressurized water flows down that way as well.

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Seven Great Moments in World Wide Web History

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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RE #7...

"Four years on, and the social media boutiques and meetups of ‘Tech City’ are the envy of the world. Local coffee shops take record earnings on the back of "hipster" meetings and go on to save the entire economy. The fact that nothing actually useful, groundbreaking or *ahem* new - is actually delivered from "Tech city" is conveniently swept under the carpet when the begging bowl for funding does the rounds once more..."

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Mastercard, Syniverse target holiday payment security with mobile verification system

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I've been to Bora Bora...

And it is staggeringly beautiful with some great shark diving (much like the rest of French Polynesia). I was also able to use both my UK mobile and bank cards without issue, and without criminal loss.

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Women! You too can be 'cool' and 'fun' if you work in tech!

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I love the way...

That that have reduced the whole of the ICT to sector to "coding apps".

Fucktards.

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Privacy warriors lob sueball at Facebook buyout of WhatsApp

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Alert

@ Bigtimehustler

Agreed. It really is as simple as that. I would presume however that there would be an enforced duty of care on them to make sure that these new terms are made very clear to users, rather than burying them down on page 109 as formatted on the screen of your smartphone, section 23, subsection 4, paragraph 6, under the heading "Beware of the Leopard".

In reality however, even if the full 450,000,000 WhatsApp accounts were fully active and in regular use (which I highly doubt) - I would still make the proposition that 95% of those users really don't give a monkeys about, or even really consider how their data is used - as long as they stay connected by "using" the app.

Personally, it's not for me - I'm one of the 5% who doesn't touch this stuff with a bargepole. But if others do, then so be it; and I guess it keeps the bods at the Electronic Privacy Information Centre and the Centre for Digital Democracy off of the redundancy pile for another few weeks.

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British Pregnancy Advice Service fined £200k for Anon hack, data protection breaches

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Why?

Why should they be able to appeal the fine because they are a charity?

The rules apply to all. They don't get an exemption.

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Why can’t I walk past Maplin without buying stuff I don’t need?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Gotta' love Maplin

The reason I like Maplin is that it reminds me of my garden shed - full interesting techno stuff that serves no real practical purpose to my life, but with better decor and heating.

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Boston court confirms Peeping Tom's right to upskirt

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Wrong law.

I'm not sure he had, or still has, any "right" to upskirt as your heading states - but it does sound like the woman in question had idiots for legal council who ultimately brought the wrong charges.

I find it hard to believe that the state in question does not have alternative and (presumably) adequate correct laws in place to deal with these invasions of privacy.

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Apple to grieving sons: NO, you cannot have access to your dead mum's iPad

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Something sounds fishy here...

And I presume it's not just the corpse.

What I presume that Apple are asking for is the certificate of probate. This is applied for by the named executor of the will, and is approved by the relevant court authority upon review. It is a certificate that formally and legally recognizes the executors status to (A) execute the will, and (B) dispose / inherit / sell / give away etc all of the deceased persons remaining possessions / finances / legal affairs etc as they see fit without let or hindrance.

I am presuming that it is this certificate of probate that Apple are waiting for - which is par for the course. This process is nothing new.

Selective and subjective journalism at it's worst!!

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Apple 'hid AUD$9 BILLION' from Australia alone: Report

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Tim Roberts 1

Tax cheats? By what measure?

You may not like what they are doing. I might not like what they are doing. It may be morally wrong yes. But many large businesses don't let the morality play interfere with their business plans.

What they are doing is entirely legal - and supported by all of the governments and tax authorities around the world. If it was illegal, action would have been taken by now to close the loopholes.

But action won't be taken because most of the individuals, governments, tax authorities, G8, Bilderburg group et al - all have their snouts in the trough, and woe betide anything or anyone that threatens that happy (if shadowy) arrangement.

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Dell charges £16 TO INSTALL FIREFOX on PCs – Mozilla is miffed

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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It's a mistake...

These changes to functionality don't get through development, testing, and into your production ERP manufacturing and billing systems by design you know - so it must be due to a previously unknown security issue, or a virus, or an old treaty or charter... or something...

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Plusnet goes titsup for spectacular hour-long wobble

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I'm Mr Angry, from Birmingham...

How dare a network provider have an unexpected outage. Especially as I pay £4.99 (plus line rental) for that service every single month.

I'm outraged that without my regular supply of cat videos I'm having to face up to the gaping chasm that's appeared in my life.

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