* Posts by Blitz

47 posts • joined 25 Sep 2007

Worst broadband notspots in the UK named and shamed

Blitz
Thumb Down

Stats for the other cities please Register.

I can tell you from experience that Edinburgh must be on the low side as well. From about 8pm to 1am nightly bandwidth for myself goes from an average of 11Mbps to 4-6Mbps. Watching streaming movies becomes an exercise in futility.

I can now understand why Sky is offering SkyGo downloads (for paying customers) rather than their 'On Demand' only service. Such a hassle at peak times to watch streaming media.

0
0

Messenger delivers first Mercury orbital snap

Blitz
Go

Now lets go back to Venus

This is truly amazing - but it would be even more so if we were to send a probe to the surface of venus that could last longer than 40 minutes. Appreciate the atmospheric pressures and temp on Venus makes this a challenge but surely it would be worth it?

The Russian probe that was there in ('78?) lasted all of 20 some odd minutes before dying. I would think we could do better than this now.

3
0

Council busts breast milk ice cream parlour

Blitz
FAIL

Hepatitus through Breastmilk?

There are no recorded transmissions of Hep B or C via breastmilk itself.

Only in cases where the nipple is cracked and bleeding are there possible issue and the immuno-agent within the breastmilk are KNOWN to sterilize HBV and HBC.

It is very easy to screen for diseases in breastmilk and frankly there are very few that can actually be present. This is 'Daily-Fail' rubbish that has led to the usual misconceptions and ignorance surround breastmilk.

Source: US CDC

Thanks Council for setting back our already ridiculously backwards ways.

Signed, The only mammalian species on earth that doesn't support and feed it's young from the milk it was intended to.

4
0

Crazed reindeer stalks, attacks Scottish woman with antlers

Blitz
Coat

I'm going I'm going!

Sheesh...let me get my coat!

1
0
Blitz
IT Angle

IT angle?

I even tried to make an IT pun that fit...but failed miserably.

Where's the IT angle here Reg?

0
1

Speak geek: The world of made-up language

Blitz

We should all learn Martian

Martian from 'Mars Attacks' is a great language.

"Ack ack ACK ACK GEDACK!"

Which loosely translates too:

"Our heads also explode when we watch Ann Widdecombe 'dance'"

1
0

Flying gyrocopter jump-jeep gets $3m from DARPA

Blitz
Coat

Combine it with...

The Nazi uber-U-boot technology and you've got an aqau-amphi-flying-hummabab!

Come on - you know it makes sense!

Mines the coat with the over inflated research bill in the pocket...

0
0

Microsoft secretly yanks TechNet product keys

Blitz

Thanks AC

Thanks for clearing that up. So newer products will be restricted. Still not a big deal to me but I can understand how folks with larger lab setups might get a bit riled.

0
0
Blitz
Gates Horns

Not me yet?

I'm a Microsoft Partner and as of this AM I still have the same entitlements I've had all year.

Wondering if this is a phased rollout?

Besides the moral dilema of having licenses taken away how many folks does this actually affect?

0
0

AMD to dump ATI brand

Blitz
Welcome

My wife works in marketing - so...

And you're wrong - branding IS everything.

And branding keeps company's product popular even when 'made in China' catches up with the quality of the product. Quality isn't everything - look at Apple, the sleek design and packages and marketing helped Apple become the leader in mp3 devices. Make no mistake, Apple has had its fair share of quality issues.

With that said, no one sound worry too much about the ATI brand - its not like its being thrown in the trash. Brands get retired, a company holds on to them and then brings them back if they feel the need.

AMD may one day decide to sell (unlikely I know) its graphics card business along - most likely the ATI brand would be part & parcel of this deal.

3
3

Drunken employee pops cap in server

Blitz
Dead Vulture

Did the server make it?

The server was rushed to the nearest tech shop A&E where they worked on it for 6 hours before the psu gave out. The remaining technical staff and the original signee of the $100k PO were with it when it passed away.

A tombstone because, server, we'll miss you.

0
0

Brits trump Ruskies with flying horse

Blitz
Coat

Equine flying!

And all the 'nay-sayers' said it couldn't be done.

Go on animal lovers, try to stop our mane force of flying horses and donkeys! There's hee-haw that you can do about it!

Mine's the one made out of horsehair mate.

3
0

Jobs tells iPhone users to get a grip

Blitz
Jobs Horns

And we thought Microsoft was bad

I honestly can't ever remember Bill Gates coming out with zingers like "It's your fault, hold it a different way".

All you Apple Fanbois will reap what you sow.

0
0

Post Office finds new tech boss

Blitz
FAIL

So that's ok?

It's still £3.5m that could have better been spent elsewhere - your pedantry does nothing to question the validity what I've written.

0
0
Blitz
Megaphone

CIOs = Generally useless

How during this supposed credit crunch which has resulted in a huge liquidity crisis companies can continue to pay millions of £££ for CIOs is beyond me. I've worked in a number of large global corporates at fairly senior levels and have never seen a CIO do more than parrot what those below him/her have come up with.

Top tip Royal Mail Group. Can the £3.5m CIO. Encourage joint leadership of senior managers (at no additional pay) to lead the company based on the businesses needs. Use that extra money to keep fueling infrastructure investment, staff training and business improvements.

The days of charismatic leadership and corporate hero worship need to end. There is no mythical figure no hero that can lead a company from the red to the black. The only people that can achieve this are the employees themselves.

1
1

V-22 Osprey downblast scatters spectators like skittles

Blitz
Joke

Enemies send blankets aloft!

Entire fleet of Ospreys destroyed - News at 7

1
0

German bank robbers in Italian Job moment

Blitz
Pint

Power outage = spoiled money?

So you disconnect the cable(s) from the building to the machine and dye or acid or nuclear reaction occurs.

What about if there's a power outage? How does it know the difference? I'm not being critical just trying to think of the solution.

And if it's just a sensor cable attached to the building then surely these crooks would chisel/explode out the bit they needed. They've already proved that they have zero qualms about deconstructing a building!

Here's a beer for thinking about sulfuric acid on a Friday.

0
0

Personal data export clauses now in force

Blitz

Maybe not so sensible?

If this covers the sending of personal data outside of the EU how does it affect companies that have web portals that are accessible globally and that display personal data?

1
0

NZ spider objects to Canadian's todger

Blitz
Coat

From wikipedia

"The katipo will only bite as a last resort; if molested"

That explains - sick b$st$rd - tryin' it on with a poor little katipo queen.

Mines the one with the driftwood and other natural habitats in it...

2
0

Volcanic ash grounds dozens of UK flights

Blitz
Grenade

Time to invade Iceland

First they lose all our savings in the whole 'Icesave' collapse and now they're sending their nasty ashes over here!!!

Let's go north to take care of business!

0
1

Double-Take disaster recovery takes to the clouds

Blitz
Stop

What's the difference?

Sorry I don't see the difference between this and any other managed service?

Can someone enlighten me?

0
0

Note to Captain Kirk: Warp speed will kill you

Blitz

So everyone else dies?

Ouch, so the ship effectively 'stands still' and the rest of the known universe gets bombarded with enough radiation to make the cat glow?

1
0

World of Google zombies mistake news story for Facebook

Blitz
FAIL

Clueless older women

You mean the clueless older women that were busy raising you whilst you and your dad played about in your home computers and the like?

You mean the ones that cooked, cleaned and sorted your lives out?

No wonder they're 'clueless ones' - they were (and prolly still are) too bloody busy to get a chance to listen properly.

Sooooooo...maybe next time rather than disappearing into your Linux cave and let them do all the work you should take the time to do some of household stuff yourself and let your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother play about on the computer so they actually get a chance to learn how to use it.

0
0

Apple's Tablet won't save Big Dumb Media

Blitz
FAIL

Fail

As of 2008 21million Brits read a daily publication in print each day.

1 in 3 of us is hardly a 'small minority.

Newspapers may be committing suicide but they're in little danger of being eclipsed by the www.

Move along please.

0
0

Can financing and management models survive IT change?

Blitz
Thumb Up

Spot on - thanks for this article

This article is spot on.

I think that the business managers must continue to develop their understanding of IT and use it to be able to successfully take the transition between a business need to business project to ongoing IT support and maintenance. This ability is so far rare but ithat is changing.

On the subject of complex and often confusing budgets, at a very low level, I've seen this fighting over allocation of cost taking place. We recently went through a project whereby printing was rationlized -> rather than having a printer of everyone's desk MFD's were put into place and different departments charged for their individual printing including toner, paper, ink etc. The amount of disagreement of the proporation of the printing budget owed, even after a login code was used to allocate the printing to specific department, was huge and still goes on.

What's it going to be like when 7 different businesses occupy 7 different virtual servers in a data centre? How do costs get allocated then?

0
0

Peppa Pig told to belt up

Blitz
Stop

In other news....

Wil-E-Coyote to get 're-education' and to learn to only use Acme safety products to show kids that rocket propelled coyotes and dropping boulders on roadrunners is not the way we operate in society.

Or...the parent could actually be a parent to their child rather than expect: tv, the government, social services and the schools to raise their child.

0
0

Unused phone lines to be taxed for rural broadband

Blitz
Thumb Down

They pushed ADSL on us all

And now they're taxing us for it. What a brilliant model. Tax all of us to help pay to get the network infrastructure in place so that the vast majority of the populace can access DSL and then tax them when it's done.

A win/win situation for them.

If Labour remains in power within 5 years the 50p a month tax will turn into £3 and so on. Then one day we'll wake and realize that our broadband tax is equal to our TV license - and at least with that we sometimes get decent telly from the Beeb.

2
1

CCTV website recruits video vigilantes

Blitz
Big Brother

Suspicious activities

If you see a crime occurring then report them

If you see suspicious activity then report them

If you see something you don't like then report them

Be careful because the camera is also watching you.

We're on our way.

0
0

Nation's parents prepare to be vetted

Blitz
Big Brother

Paranoia and re-engineering

In the case of the policewomen, a neighbour reported them to Ofsted.

So after they roll out the ID Card scheme <coughcough> I mean background checks to anyone that even sees a child during their day the government will start to publish 'dos and don't' for parents in the home.

Words that you can and can't use; phrases that shouldn't be used.

Neighbours, friends, families and even our own children will be rewarded for reporting breaches. Cameras with audio recording and behavioural analysis will patiently watch over us.

We will be taken away and re-educated in the correct manner.

Sound like a conspiracy theory? Look at Germany, Cambodia, Modern China and a host of others for actual history.

0
0

Brown apologises for 'appalling' treatment of Turing

Blitz
Thumb Up

Time to Petition the Queen and the BoE

Hurrah to Brown for the public apology. The redress may mean nothing to the man because sadly he's gone but it means to world to many in ICT as this was a founding father who was so grossly mistreated.

I'm going to find out if there's a way to petition the Queen and the Bank of England so the Mr Turing may get his posthumous Knighthood and a place on a £££ note.

Many thanks to all of those from the Register readers whom, along with myself, signed the #10 petition.

0
0

What US Homeland Security collects about you

Blitz
Black Helicopters

American/British Citizen

As a dual citizen I've been to some places that Americans aren't supposed to go to and have done so on my British Passport.

I'm going to use the FoI and request my report and see if it contains travel information that the US, in theory, shouldn't know about.

I'm normally all about the rule of law and state on The Reg' 'if you've done nothing wrong...' etc - however, I've always been against the US keeping any kind of 'score' on it's own citizens. God forbid I have a conversation with any of Muslim friends and suddenly find myself on the static end of a cattle prod.

0
0

Microsoft at a loss in Word patent case?

Blitz
WTF?

Ironic strangeness

SO....i4i's lawsuit creates an injunction preventing (in theory) MS Word from being sold from within (or imported into) the United States where Microsoft is based.

Meanwhile, back in Canada, i4i's happy home, punters can continue to purchase MS Word and import it.

0
0

Windfarm Britain means (very) expensive electricity

Blitz
Black Helicopters

Turn the lights off ...

I once read that if all office buildings in the UK were required to shut their lights off at night and power down non-critical servers and workstations that we would no longer be a net importer of energy in the UK.

Maybe that would at least buy us some time to put a sensibly balanced energy plan in place.

I don't remember the figures but the seemed quite plausible.

And hey, we might be able to see stars at night again.

Black helicopters - because they won't be able to hide in our reclaimed night skies.

0
0

Would you leave your child alone with a cabinet minister?

Blitz
Stop

Sense check

Rightly or wrongly I see a lot of criticism regarding this issue but very few answers. It's very easy to rip the govt apart for implementing background checks etc.

The same posters would be the first in line of an agry mob if there were in fact no checks in place and a child was harmed - shouting "Why didn't you do a background check on this felon?"

We have to do something to protect children. So the majority of crimes against children occur at home and there is a lot to be done to help kids out in that position and prevent it from happening in the first place. But why do nothing for children that are under public responsibility (such as in schools, community groups etc)?

As for the people worried about allegations, inuendo and rumour I would suggest that every background check I've come across in the UK and EU (and I've managed more than a few in my role) only deals with actual convictions. However, if a call is received from someone saying "So and so is hurting children" of course it would be investigated - what person that cares about kids wouldn't?

Background checks on people that work ad-hoc in the presence of children but whilst always supervised by another vetted adult is a little overboard. However, background checks on an adult that supervises children by themselves - even if only for 1 hour a month - is not overboard.

Finally, as for the poster that stated the wrong message is being sent to children, aka trust no one by these background checks - are you so sure about that. Maybe we should instead of paranoia and 1984 worries be sending them the message that we're doing our best to help ensure that they aren't put in needless danger.

Summary: This may be overboard, but not performing background checks on adult in supervision of children is an unacceptable risk.

0
0

Blears sackee nothing to do with TheyWorkForYou

Blitz
Pint

So...not quite dystopia

So not at all the 1984 secret investigation of an anonymous poster that we were led to believe in yesterday's article.

Some stupidity on the young Lisa's part - but frankly, if MPs and their staff were fired for stupid actions, there wouldn't be very many left working. Disciplined? Perhaps. Fired, no.

I still hope she takes them to tribunal - she'll win.

A pint of lager - because that's what I'd buy her.

0
0

Office admin sacked for Blears abuse

Blitz
Big Brother

Tracing of a non-offensive anon comment.

"...was sacked in May after an anonymous posting was traced to her work email account"

So let's get this right, post to any Government 'open forum' with an opinion that they don't like and you'll get the comment traced back to your door where they'll fire you for it.

I hope that she takes them to tribunal for it and drags them through the muck.

New Labour sometimes makes Orwells 1984 look less like a work of fiction and more like a documentary.

0
0

Disney punts hetero luuurv to wide-eyed kiddies

Blitz
WTF?

So?????

It took them a study to learn that the examined blockbuster cartoons support the norm of the parents that take their kids to see these films????

Imagine that, a blockbuster cartoon (aka seen by many) caters to a sexuality that 98% of the global populat follows.

0
0

BT bumps up broadband speeds

Blitz
Unhappy

I live about 1km outside the main city limits and...

As a result I got this from samknows.com (thanks Paul)

"BT have set a target date of Q3 2011 for the switch to 21CN for the Loanhead exchange"

As usual if you live outside of the Bypass in Edinburgh you get to contend with Stone Age internet speeds.

0
0

'Della': Dell's very special site for women

Blitz
Thumb Up

Targeted marketing has been going on for eons

And it doesn't mean that its a sexist company.

Shock horror, Dell is trying to sell netbooks and accesories by associating it with things that many women think of like recipies, work presentations and family management.

I see this targeted more at the 'Sex in the City' style with patterned netbooks, carrier bags etc.

Did most of the commenters even look about the mini-site?

You know what the reason is that the vast vast majority of dishwashing adverts have women washing dishes in it is? Because in the vast majority of families - women buy the washing up liquid.

The perception with computers and the looming netbook wave is that men buy them and that as a result they're only made for men (aka black lacquer shiny and gun metal silver). So why not attempt to break into a potentially huge market and sell to women at a level that appeals?

I see nothing wrong with this site, I don't see any sexism here and I hope Dell continues to provide a targeted approach to its customers that will appeal to them.

People are so desperate to find controversy that they don't see the truth.

0
0

Intel hit with largest ever EU fine

Blitz
Coat

Just what the world needs in the middle of a recession

Yes, let's put massive fines on all our major corporations because they're 'evil'.

Then we'll all villanize them further when they start letting staff go etc.

This is simply the EU trying to pay for its massive deficit spending.

My coat is the one with shares of Intel & Microsoft stock in it.

0
0

US Forces 'black' budget = 2nd biggest military on Earth

Blitz
Go

The bandwagon

Sorry, I'm not hopping on the 'hate the military spending' and hate the USA bandwagon.

There are indeed extremist elements in our nations that want to:

1) Blow us up

2) Force convert us to their religion

3) Damage our economy

3) Or perform all of the above

So in order to fight this we need to have covert ops in both our home nations and theirs.

Also, as the big kids on the block with the world's strongest economies we have to protect them. Doing this means that we have to make sure the other kids on the block keep giving us their lunch money (or their oil more specifically)

So what if we have to torture extremist to get intel? If I knew there was someone out there that wanted to kill, main or ruin my family - I'd be prepared to torture whomever it took to protect them.

So what if we blow the hell out their countries to make certain that down the road they don't blow the hell out of ours?

Practically every nation on earth wants to be number one. If the UK and USA want to stay there and our citizenry continue to enjoy that position (lots of toys to play with!) it's going to cost us lots of money and probably some lives.

It's called 'The Great Game' and it's been going on for a very long time and will continue to go on.

0
0

LoTR fan film set for net premiere

Blitz
Go

Very cool

Wow - what a great thing - the special effects look fantastic - Open Source Movies here we come?

0
0

BT reprograms biz customers as hotspots

Blitz
Paris Hilton

"Opt Out"

I believe this is how (if like myself are a BT Business customer) you 'opt out' of this absolutely ridiculous scheme by BT. I'm absolutely f*cking speechless at their audacity to resell bandwidth that I HAVE ALREADY BLOODY PAID FOR!!!

*******************************************

How can I turn my BT Openzone service on and off?

This can be done via the BT Business Hub's web interface. From a device connected to the Business Hub and local area network (either connected with Ethernet, USB or on the BTBusinessHub SSID), do the following:

Open a web browser and go to http://home.

Click on the Services tab at the top of the page.

Click on the Openzone menu option.

Click on the Enable/Disable button, depending on the action you wish to perform.

Note:

The changes may not be instantaneous. It could take up to 30 minutes for the service to be fully enabled or disabled because of the need to communicate with the BT network. The status shows as pending until this process has completed.

********************************

Paris because much like BT you never know what bad thing you'll get when you dip into it.

0
0

Colonel: US Army has working electropulse grenades

Blitz
Coat

Electronic Warfare Division

What a brilliant idea if it turns out to exist. Disabling vehicles (at least non-carbureted ones) with EMPs or MBTs, Helis, etc will bring a new dimension to the battlefield.

On the down side...lead lined counter-emp anything is going to weigh ton! :-)

>>>>My coat is the one with cybernetic implants...

0
0

Brown announces new counter-terror plans

Blitz
Thumb Down

@ An Anigel

I completely and wholeheartedly agree. What's is the point of stripping (literally from the sounds of it) the rights away from ALL British citizens whilst we let every single immigrant and 'asylum seeker' into this country with little or background checks.

We don't control our borders at all - so what is the point of all of this.

Control.

Welcome to 1984 citizen.

0
0

Microsoft spoils Christmas with Xbox 360 locking feature

Blitz
Thumb Up

Timer is a good thing

Why is this ruining Christmas?

Why is it such a horrible thing to limit your children's time in front of any electronic babysitter. When the timer is up - send them outside to play, yes shockingly enough, one can send those obese little fatties outside to play to actually get <gasp!> some exercise! Or even worse <this is going too far> have them open up a book to read and actually use their imagination!

As Cosby once said "When I was a kid we walked uphill to school both ways. We ate dirt and we were thankful for that dirt!"

0
0

Chuck Norris to do battle in El Reg Arena of Death

Blitz

@Chuck Norris's acting

Who the hell watches a Kung Fu or fighting film for it's acting? Of course he didn't win an award! He was too busy kicking Oscar's arse!!!

0
0

Forums