* Posts by Scott Broukell

530 posts • joined 20 Sep 2007

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HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Machines leaving earth - Yes / Human Meat Bags - No

I can only envisage AI machines, originating from Earth, and perhaps carrying sufficient biological material to replicate humans (when time/conditions permit), traveling through deep space in order to colonize anywhere at all. In missing out the 'meat bag' problem such travel to the orbits of other stars could work and replicated humans might find a niche in this way. Such migrations would therefore proceed in a 'stepping-stone' manner.

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El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

Scott Broukell
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Pint

Why not . . .

Fill that little old electric slow-cooker up with seared and seasoned diced pork/chicken/beef strips etc., add some stock (and/or ale - whatever), to taste, plop in a few diced vegetables (peppers / onions / toms etc.), set the timer accordingly and then pop off dahn the boozer for a few hours, safe and smug in the knowledge that a wholesome hot meal awaits you on your return. Simples.

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World's mega-rich tax dodge exposed: Meet the HSBC IT bloke at the heart of damning leak

Scott Broukell
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Meh

It would appear that there is not a hole lot of difference twixt Swiss banks and Swiss cheese.

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TOTAL DARKNESS lasted 550 MILLION years until the first STARS LIT UP

Scott Broukell
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Meh

So, erm . . , if I have understood this correctly, this 'ere ancient light of the cosmos was one of them energy saving thingies was it, took a little bit longer to come on and that?

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Legion of Superheroes fly in from Redmond for SQLBits bash

Scott Broukell
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Meh

I for one

Would like to see what they can inject into the proceedings.

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Elon Musk SNOWED UNDER with Googley DOLLARS for Space Internet

Scott Broukell
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Coat

Re: could be worse...

..if it was Microsoft - everything about the project could potentially become ElonGated. (but still, I suppose that's the general shape of rocket ships, so it might work)

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BMW: ADMEN have asked us for YOUR connected car DATA

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Only intermittently connected.

For the moment at least, my car can only be described as 'connected' when a tow rope is making that connection twixt it and any given recovery vehicle.

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Young CHAP CUFFED in Blighty over Xmas Sony and XBOX hacks

Scott Broukell
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Re: Today's tautogram

I C what you did there ;-)

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I'll build a Hyperloop railgun tube-way in Texas, Elon Musk vows

Scott Broukell
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Meh

It needs to be asked . . .

Upon arrival at the terminus, will the gloopy mass of body parts, fluids and mashed internal organs that constitute the remains of the luckless passengers, be poured directly into vats destined for the Soylent Green factories?

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Demon Internet goes TITSUP: Outage borks ancient ISP

Scott Broukell
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Coat

Re: Alternate Routes

@ Sir Runcible Spoon - "It's a myth" - Presumably that's because all fiber lines lead to Roam ?

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$500 TEDDY BEAR teaches tots to spit up personal data

Scott Broukell
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Meh

OMG what if . . . .

. . . the teddy bears' fur harbors some nasty bacteria that will give little Tommy a bad tummy, or worse! Now I need a bug-monitor for the sterility of the teddy, where is this going to end!

Or - have your kidz in a test tube/incubator and put them into a sealed bubble from birth, get fone appz and rest easy so you can fix your eyes to the smart TV for all that must-have advertainment and political messaging. Welcome to the 'modern' way.

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'Nauts end panic by switching computer off and on again

Scott Broukell
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Re: Can you believe it?

Do get with it peeps, it's now called 'power cycling' a system, you heard what the man said, enough with this off and on again malarkey.

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Paris terror attacks: ISPs face pressure to share MORE data with governments

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Worth a listen

The Beeb World Service have a half hour interview which provides some interesting background to IS called something like 'Bureaucracy and Brutality' available as an mp3. Slightly OT here but it really is worth a listen.

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It's 4K-ing big right now, but it's NOT going to save TV

Scott Broukell
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Groucho Marx quote . . .

"I find television very educational, whenever it is on in our house I go and read a book"

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Ex-Microsoft Bug Bounty dev forced to decrypt laptop for Paris airport official

Scott Broukell
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Re: Playmobil.

I'm a little confused now having read your comment. After all I was just about to complement El Reg on the high definition, up to the minute, imagery they manage to secure in order to document such revelations, truly life-like it is.

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I'm sooooo green: The Beginner's Guide to Krautrock

Scott Broukell
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Meh

If you liked any of the above . . .

Then you may also like to search out: The Institute for Transacoustic Research / The (Vienna) Vegetable Orchestra / Gomme Handschuhe Doodlesack(?). But I can't quite remember exactly who performed using the sounds from distressed computers in suitcases as they were savagely chopped and hacked with axes, anybody?

Holger Czukay, co-founder of Can, studied under Karlheinz Stockhausen, who, if my memory serves me well, once wrote a passage for piano wherein the pianist was required to use his/her buttocks.

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Apple v BBC: Fruity firm hits back over Panorama drama

Scott Broukell
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Re: God bless us, every one!

Add to that the fact that if you do travel some 900 miles for work and you come from the 'wrong' region/ethnic group, you can come up against some pretty nasty discrimination that can leave you further out of pocket and generally make life rather difficult all round. Such matters aren't, of course, the sole preserve of China and it's economics.

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Scott Broukell
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Re: God bless us, every one!

@Tim Worstal

Not all but very many workers in China continue to be dawn to the cities for work because of economic allure, but the majority of those leave children, wives/husbands behind, sometimes many hundreds of miles away. Whilst the wages appear reasonable, when compared to subsistence farming, leaving the kids with grand parents who struggle with the burden, and not seeing them for 6-months at a time, is not an easy thing to bear. If you are young and single it's fine, but what sort of housing could you expect if starting a young family in the city - have you seen what's happened to property prices in big urban/city areas over the past 10-15 years.

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Scott Broukell
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Re: God bless us, every one!

You mean . . I . . what . . wait . . that we were mis sold Globalization as well! It's as if we now find ourselves top dog - atop a pile of crumbling social needs, low pay, misery and economic seizure.

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Scott Broukell
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Re: Supply and Demand

@ Credas / @ Bloodbeastterror

Honestly peeps I was unaware that Apple "trumpet [their] wonderful ethical policies". If they make such a 'thing' about it then yes, I agree, they should be able to publicly put that to the test. (the only Apple (Macintosh) products that I own are over 30 years old and still work as intended).

I am just reasonably sure that almost every imported product is made at the expense of workers conditions and pay. Therefore I consume as little 'new' product as possible, make what I do have last as long as possible, recycle as much as possible and look for pre-owned alternatives to the latest shiny-shiny if indeed I really 'must' replace something and have a very, very, stern talk with myself about the merits of opening my wallet in any case. So I admit I am probably not representative of the general all-consuming populace, sadly.

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Scott Broukell
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Meh

Supply and Demand

T'was ever thus. I would have paid more attention to this if the Beeb had taken a swipe at working conditions for a plethora of tech/gadget manufacturers. Perhaps they could have approached it from the 'Demand' and 'Desire' angle and placed more emphasis on the habits / actions of consumers in the West. The majority of what we import / consume is made under pretty awful conditions for the workers at the sharp end, be it clothing, foot wear or technology. I realize that Apple apparently make something of an ethical approach to workers conditions etc. Well, good luck with that, it isn't going to be easy. Exploitation goes all the way down the slippery slope of the supply chain. If you happen to be at the bottom of that chain you are hit hardest because you have nowhere to move.

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Friday: SpaceX will attempt to land rocket on floating, robotic 'spaceport drone ship'

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Since the 1950's I have been deliberately and harshly mislead by illustrated encyclopedias, comic books and all manner of other literature, as to the most common, 'proper', and frequently used technique of landing a space ship on earth by means of retro-rockets and a multi-legged arrangement, sporting up-turned dished feet. As and aside, if it hadn't been for the dear old Hawker Siddeley Harrier jump jet I might have given up all together! So, having had to endure many decades of watching lumps of metal plunge earthwards onto barren ground or into the ocean, I find that, personally, I have a lot invested in seeing this contraption 'do it's thing'. Good luck to all involved.

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Is there ANOTHER UNIVERSE headed BACKWARDS IN TIME?

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Is Standing Still the Third way

If, as has been postulated, there are two streams of gravitational time, each traveling in opposite directions, would it not therefore be reasonable to suggest that where they meet, or collide, is the moment of present, the now. Which then might infer that the present is stationary, unmoving, as the two streams cancel each other out at the time-event horizon, or present moment. Might we be able to only observe, or at least sense, the past, as the results of that collision moving backwards (from our standpoint), as if we were moving forwards, but only because we are only able to look backwards and document what has just happened. Walking backwards for Xmas as it were. If we are not able to look in the other direction might that explain why we cannot observe, or accurately predict, the future. By contrast, an observer in the opposing stream of time would be looking backwards (from our standpoint), at a past that is, simultaneously, the future of his/her opposing observer.

But we can predict the future, because prediction is not the same as recording or documenting a happening. I can say that in approximately six days time a machine will be turned on that will appear to chaotically juggle 49 spheres, each with a different numeral written on them, in space-time and then randomly select only six spheres as lucky, winning, numbers in a lottery. But I cannot, however, and to my continued immense frustration, accurately predict which six numbers are going to be drawn in six days time - at that moment of 'now' when two streams of opposing time collide in such a way as to determine the outcome of that lottery. When a seemingly chaotic system reveals a static, ordered, outcome and one which can only be observed looking back upon it. But, in all probability, for a few lottery participants at least, that moment of 'now' will change their futures, or at least the probable predictability of their futures, as determined by the amount of cash they each have available.

So we get the sense of traveling 'forward' in time, but are, in fact, stationary, only able to observe moments 'past', which implies a 'forward' momentum and gives us the impression of travel. A bit like that peculiar sense one gets when sitting on a train known to be at rest, at a platform of the station, when suddenly the train on the next track starts moving and for a brief moment the laws of space-time seem to have been broken and one starts, at the very least, to worry about the implications that Waterloo station and indeed the rest of London, the UK and the entire known universe, are all heading towards the West Country in time for tea.

I need a little lie down now, but I am happy to contemplate upon the probability that my opposite, babbling, commentard of the future El Reg, coming towards me at this very moment, can say something to the effect of: “T, that I doing, the get, shirt”.

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Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Extreme Fisting

Dear Sir, I have been avidly watching this television series for some years in the hope that it would one day focus on the subject matter described in the title. After all I very much welcome progressive program makers dealing with all manner of contemporaneous human activity. However, I am sad to say that watching groups of people bobbing about in boats entrapping fish is not at all what I was anticipating. Therefore I find myself in agreement with those wishing to ban such abundantly erronious and frankly misleading material(s) being transmitted by means of the interwebs.

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MP caught playing Candy Crush at committee meeting: I'll ‘try’ not to do it again

Scott Broukell
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If he was dong this whilst attending a Public Accounts Committee meeting, one assumes he would have been playing another game altogether, since one Margaret Hodge can be a pretty angry bird at the best of times.

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Feast your eyes: 10 'fortysomething' smart TVs

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Silly CT

You are merely required to watches the advertainments and spendses your precious on more and more and more things and ride around on the merry merry-go-round of aspirational acquisition and debt-fueled spin that eatses up all of your disposable income.

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UK.gov mulls three-point turn on three-point turn thanks to satnav. Weeeeeeee. THUD

Scott Broukell
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Meh

A growing number of road users have a greater sense of entitlement and a diminished sense of consideration for other road users - something it may be possible to address in driver training. A few hours training on a bicycle/scooter might go some way towards trainees understanding the vulnerabilities faced by some other road user groups. It doesn't really matter where you are driving, two things should always be foremost in your mind, speed and distance - along with the condition of the road surface and the state of the vehicle you are driving. Other than those points, it has to be said that competent drivers need to comprehensively learn how to use the controls (see very first posting - Stephen Tompsett). But, bad habits can be picked up along the way, so it's perhaps not a bad thing to have follow-up tests. I would be happy to have my own errors pointed out to me by a trained instructor. Perhaps the hardest part of driving for the younger generation these days are the elements of distraction provided by mobile devices and yobbish, thoughtless passengers.

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Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray

Scott Broukell
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@PCS - Have you tried the large clear plastic drinks bottle, stripped of it's label(s), at least one third full of water and left, at a jaunty angle, on the lawn / patio (whatever). Apparently the sight of a motionless body in this form is enough to unsettle the majority of tom cats who come across it.

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Our system handles £130bn and it's BUST. Want the job of fixing it? Apply to UK.gov

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Integration Manager

So, presumably in this case, that would be the integration of both arse and elbow ?

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It’s PAYBACK time as HUMANS send a PROBE up ALIEN body

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Amatuers !

My missus always keeps the batteries on our probes fully charged, even when, more often than not, they are deployed where the sun don't shine. (eew)

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Mastercard and Visa to ERADICATE password authentication

Scott Broukell
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Re: Marta Janus

Hugh Janus is not dead. He just smells funny.

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Rosetta probot drilling DENIED: Philae has its 'LEG in the AIR'

Scott Broukell
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Coat

Re: Still alive

Indeed, I wonder if the folks at ESA are "Philaen Groovy" right now.

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Pay-by-bonk chip lets hackers pop all your favourite phones

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Sweden

I do believe I recently heard mention of Sweden's intention to become the first 'Cashless' country. I do hope the folks in charge there are taking serious note of issues regarding NFC and other such technologies. I'm off now to count the groats in the pot I buried in the garden.

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SUPER-JAMMY Philae comet probe got down WITHOUT harpoons

Scott Broukell
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Coat

Bloomin typical !

You unpack yer new washing machine and two things go wrong almost immediately, no wonder they've taken it back to Comet!

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Virgin 'spaceship' pilot 'UNLOCKED tailbooms' going through SOUND BARRIER

Scott Broukell
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Re: Over-Speed lock

Thank you all for the details posted above.

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Scott Broukell
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Over-Speed lock

I may be being simplistic in my understanding of the equipment described, and I share in the heart-felt expressions of sadness posted here, but shouldn't there be an over-speed lock on even thinking about engaging an air-brake / stabilizer device on such a craft as this?

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Ad-borne Cryptowall ransomware is set to claim FRESH VICTIMS

Scott Broukell
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AdBlocker / NoScript

Question - Would either of the above addons, individually or in tandem, effectively prevent such driveby infection?

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Warning to those who covet the data of Internet of Precious Things

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Here are the latest headlines at ten.

It is thought that, in the UK alone, as many as 2.5m people may have starved to death over the past fortnight due to the global I.O.T. system malfunction that has left people unable to access their locked-down fridges and larders. On top of this I.O.T. devices have been unable to contact supermarkets via automated ordering systems and some people have met their deaths whilst rashly venturing outside to find edible food stuffs. As their vehicles cannot self-navigate properly these people have had to take drastic action and try to walk to the corner store only to have been run down by errant self-driving vehicles which have been circulating in and around urban areas and out-of-town hyper-markets, desperately trying to synchronize their on-board auto-shopping systems data with the failing I.O.T. system. In some horrific cases the occupants of these errant vehicles have themselves been found to be deceased.

The reason behind this latest I.O.T outage is blamed on the increasing space radiation that has struck the Earth in the past year, and not, as was at first thought, by yet another update patch being applied hastily, late on a Friday evening, by a discouraged system-admin. The increased levels of nasty space radiation and the reduced strength of the suns magneto-sphere has led to satellites and power grid systems being taken down or damaged. This has had an unforeseen and negative affect upon global I.O.T. Systems.

In other news, shares in long-life milk, egg powder, dry biscuit and mint-cake products have shot up.

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Trips to Mars may be OFF: The SUN has changed in a way we've NEVER SEEN

Scott Broukell
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Meh

I knew it . . .

The reason I hate Maundays so much.

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That's no – actually it is: DEATH STAR MOON 'could be full of life-friendly water'

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Shaking

It's just nervous about being on camera, happens to the best of us. I mean what's it all about, you spend billions of years treading the same path around this giant planet without very much to write home about and then all of a sudden up pops some shinny little box-of-tricks out of nowhere and starts filming you and all that.

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NASA: Mars satellites menaced by speeding SPACE ALIEN

Scott Broukell
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Re: says:

The 15:42 comet service passing platform number one is a high-speed service, for your own safety please stand well back from the edge of the platform. One the other hand, should it suddenly become a high-speed 'stopping' service, a replacement comet service will be made available.

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HOT BABES! Worried you won't get that JOB in IT? MENTION how hot you are

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Stunned silence

I was once asked onto an interview panel and posed the question "Would you consider getting them out for the lads?" to a particularly pretty and well-endowed young woman interviewee. A split second later I realised that, more accurately, what a colleague had said minutes before the interview was such questioning was "Taboo" and not "To do" as I had interpreted it. I wasn't invited onto many more interview panels after that.

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PORTAL TO ELSEWHERE scried in small galaxy far, far away

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Doorways / Portals

Or just a bi-directional universe. One which is massively small, no less. We search so intently, in either direction - drilling down into the sub-atomic quantum zone whilst also starring out at the big (relatively), stuff beyond. In either direction we see, or at least, interpret, some pretty awesome things, material and strangeness. Perhaps one day we will see the connection and understand the origins of it all. But just what does happen to both time and matter that goes beyond the event horizon of a black-hole? I find it intriguing to think that it may behave in a manner not unlike our present understanding of the quantum state of time and matter. Alternatively, and I'm no astrophysicist (you may be able to tell), maybe time/matter/the universe just stops within a black-hole, a bit like a 3D model of a rabbit warren, where some tunnels just come to a dead end - but those 'dead ends' still have their uses - everything has a purpose. (I'm tired now - nurse!)

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Europe prepares to INVADE comet: Rosetta landing site chosen

Scott Broukell
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Pint

Landing Proceedure commences in 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2. . . 1

. . . . . "Please allow maps to update before continuing to your chosen destination" "Maps updating now, please wait" . . . . .

<== But, seriously, if this goes to plan, that cold beer is for the ESA team.

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Apple's Watch is basically electric perfume

Scott Broukell
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Apple Watch

mmmm . . . . so will I be able to hear the pips on my watch? (rather than wait for the wireless to warm up)

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Beer in SPAAAACE: Photographic PROOF

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Re: An opportunity

"survive space travel and still be drinkable"

In which case IPA might stand for Inter Planetary Alcohol

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Brookhaven boffins boggle at baryons

Scott Broukell
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Further Question

Are such particles, henceforth, be known as 'Shit Pea Baryons' ? (we need answers)

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Anonymous threatens to name cop who shot dead unarmed Michael Brown

Scott Broukell
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Re: Dashcam/incar video

But surely incidents such as this highlight the need for mandatory police body-cams as well?

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MARS NEEDS OCEANS to support life - and so do exoplanets

Scott Broukell
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Meh

We've found it ! . . .

The weather is very unsettled, undergoing some sort of not-so-well understood change at the moment, it rains a lot, violently at times, and is known to be a bit nippy in just the right places for occupation. This meteorological trend is thought to be gathering pace. There would appear to be significant quantities of a variety of pollutants which may contribute towards proportionate negative outcomes with regard to plant cultivation and animal ingestion thereof. Desertification has been expanding for some time in many areas once considered prime for possible habitation where sustained human existence would very probably come up against major obstruction going-forward. It would seem that over many years some sort of discarded/waste material has built up in the seas and on land, to such an extent that it too threatens the sustainability of both plant and animal existence globally. So, on the whole, it should feel just like home (yeah!).

The bad news is; we haven't got a cat in hells chance of getting there in time before the devastating results of all of the above take hold here on Earth. But hey!, you did ask us to go look and we would like to thank you for the funding whilst it lasted.

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Don't put that duffel bag full of cash in the hotel room safe

Scott Broukell
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Meh

Wheel barrows

So this fella used to work in a wheel barrow factory and would often leave of an evening pushing a brand new wheel barrow with a sack draped over it. The chaps on the gate would lift up the sacking and look underneath, whereupon, seeing there wasn't anything in it, they would wave him through the factory gates with a smile.

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