* Posts by Scott Broukell

583 posts • joined 20 Sep 2007

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Pebble punts out new firmware to watch you as you sleep

Scott Broukell
Joke

I purchased a Pebble from a pedlar called Pete in Peebles who probably pinched it and put it on the pavement with many peddled Pebbles and proceeded to pull in the punters.

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Microsoft buys SwiftKey, Britain's 'stealthiest software startup'

Scott Broukell
Meh

Probabilistic language

Harrumph, so is that what comes out of the mouths of da yoof of today, because to my ears it could just about sound like a language, but I still don't understand any of it. /grumpy rant

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Boffins baffled by record-smashing supernova that shouldn't exist

Scott Broukell
Meh

I vote that the whole of humanity follow the brightness with our telescopes and bow down to it's luminosity, prostrate ourselves before its supernoviness and take up chanting and wailing in order that it be knownst herein and there after throughout the world as a sign of our inability to grasp reality, instead preferring our own contrived death cults and the mutterings of power hungry mad c*nts in robes. We could even willingly kill our own kind, and sacrifice many other animals, in order to demonstrate our fullest commitment to all of the above. Just saying.

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Feel like you got ripped off online? This is for you

Scott Broukell

Cue . . . .

Ne're-do-wells phoning to say they need your bank details etc in order for you to get a refund for your recent naff web purchase and U-rope says so, so there . . . . ends in tears for some (again). I wonder how they might propose to deal with that?

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Oh UK.gov. Say you're not for weakened encryption – Google and Facebook

Scott Broukell
Coat

Fine by me - I never use encryption at the weekends.

2
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Foetuses offered vaginal music streaming service

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Nice one

Anything by Urethra Franklin I suppose, just saying.

9
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Qualcomm, Nvidia are driving us nuts – with silicon-brains-for-cars

Scott Broukell
Meh

My car has demonstrated what I consider to be a very reasonable degree of intelligence since it was manufactured nearly 40 years ago - if the weather is very bad, cold and icy it quite simply refuses to start!

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'Phantom' menace threatens to down Xbox Live, PSN at Xmas

Scott Broukell
Meh

Well . . . . .

I for one welcome this action, in our household it generally means enjoying many more merry rounds of cribbage, dominoes, canasta and shove h'ppenny. I find that it also means I can hear the home service a lot better on the wireless set, not to mention the joy of watching both her Maj's speech and The Royal Institute xmas lectures without the little darlings being constantly engaged in either WWIII or defeating some unknown alien hoard with the volume turned up to 11!

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Brit 'naut Tim Peake thunders aloft

Scott Broukell

Re: As I watched this live...

@ Vinyl-Junkie - I think the answer might be just 'keep it simple'. Those who design, build and operate such things know all to well that if it works and you know the system backwards, not to change a thing, or at least not very much in the way of critical things. Much of the best engineering, however ugly or elegant on the surface, is based upon that principle.

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UK research network Janet under ongoing and persistent DDoS attack

Scott Broukell

I was perhaps under the mistaken belief that academic data exchange (globally, let alone in the UK), was moving to a new "Grid" system that would have massively enhanced encryption and stunningly complex security - perhaps it was all a dream.

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Suck it, Elon – Jeff Bezos' New Shepard space rocket blasts off, lands in one piece

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Nouveau riche?

Normally of course I would have gone to MaMa's Net, but this site is so much more technically knowledgeable. So, my two youngsters, Marcella and Tobias, have been nagging me for ages about getting a limousine to their next school prom. If I order one of these reusable rockets on Amazon, is one expected to wait an additional 5 minutes, as per Uber taxis? - just asking, timing is everything with these events you know, toodlepip.

5
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Flying drug mule crashes in Manchester prison

Scott Broukell

Is that cockeney rhymin' slang for . . . .

Here!, got any drones? (drugs and fones)

1
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NASA photo gallery: How to blow $200m of rocket in seconds

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Ultimate goal

Well nearly, but no cats I'm afraid. We are here to build machines. Since our ancestors first blinked and rubbed their eyes in the dawn sunlight thousands of years ago all we have ever done is smash rocks together, rub sticks together and sought to make technology. Ultimately machines can go far beyond the limits of meatbags. Machines, harnessing ever more developed AI, will populate the universe, we are but the seed of machines making. Perhaps machines will carry some of our history and biological echo with them, who knows. We certainly crave being absorbed into machines ourselves and exhibit an unhealthy fascination for them, but our frailty is our undoing, that and our propensity to destroy the very magnificent biological environment from which we originated. But all that is a side show. The development of matter in the universe seems to be chaotic and clumsy, biochemistry is but one quirky stepping stone in that story. When sub-atomic quantum pathways become open to machines, machines themselves will seek out more and more energy. They will in turn crave so much more energy that ultimately the circle will be closed and a new singularity of immense and immeasurable inverse potential will 'pop', briefly into existence, and then expand very rapidly into . . . .

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US radar paparazzi snap 'Halloween Asteroid'

Scott Broukell

And when, eventually, one stikes earth . . . .

NEOO OOO that hurt!

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CPS fined £200k over theft of laptops holding 'sensitive interviews'

Scott Broukell
Facepalm

Audit

Did anyone even bother about, or even fleetingly consider, conducting a brief audit of the premises/facility/company into whose hands this sensitive data/equipment was being passed? No, thought so, dumb all over. Next time why not post it all on t'webs and ask some passer-by (browser, if you will,) if they would kindly do the edit in Moviemaker and post the results back to same said web site, thanks awfully.

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Ransomware victims: Just pay up, grin, and bear it – says the FBI

Scott Broukell
Meh

Erm . . .

I know a certain ISP in the UK who could do with some encryption right now - just saying.

7
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Further confusion at TalkTalk claims it was hit by 'sequential attack'

Scott Broukell
Meh

That would also explain . . .

What the 'Dark Web' is - it's a web site where you need to turn the monitor brightness up to 11 in order to see it.

17
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Bacon can kill: Official

Scott Broukell
Meh

What if the red meat comes out of a petri dish then, is that ok? Is that were this is going? Whilst I would welcome the complete loss of huge feeding lots for cattle, no more steroidal and antibacterial injections, no more GM grain feed, just vast led-lit factories, powered entirely by green energy, pumping out prime cuts if iSteak ("designed, dimensioned and imaginered by u and for u, with our app"), I am not so sure about eating locusts and beetles as an accompaniment - pass the sauce please, lots of it.

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Cybercrime bazaars: What's for sale in the online underworld?

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: But don't worry, boys and girls...

I would like to express my thanks to you Mr Marsden for clarifying that point. I have to admit that over recent months, years even, a degree of doubt over the security of government held, and indeed other widely held, personal data was beginning to creep into the very back of my mind. I can now go about my daily routine with a sense of calm and assurance, many thanks once again.

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Brazilian prisoner nabbed with mobile up rear end

Scott Broukell

No, no, no, no, no . . . .

That will never work, you're holding it the wrong way!

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Science Museum celebrates Ada Lovelace

Scott Broukell
Meh

Support call

As has already been pointed out above she can quite clearly be seen using a smart phone in the colour photograph supplied. Well I don't mind telling you, and in no uncertain terms, I am now fuming and very much at the end of my tether! Why? (I hear you ask), because I put in a support call to her nearly 200 years ago and there she is blatantly chatting away to some supplier or other no doubt. Well, these difference engines don't just fix themselves you know, and yes, before you ask, I have tried, several times, dismantling and re-assembling the entire device and to no avail whatsoever!

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Digital Services to be killed off early next year, Gov.uk confirms

Scott Broukell
Happy

Acronym

D - Dysfunctional

O - Over budget

S - Shite

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Watch out VW – French prosecutors are pulling on the rubber gloves

Scott Broukell
Meh

Historically . . . . . .

there is documentary evidence (and yes I have seen the videos with my very own eyes), that show this sort of thing has gone on since the dawn of time, I mean just take a close look at the underside of Fred Flintsones car - yes, there it is, Da Feet system. (I'm here all week folks)

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Is the world ready for a Raspberry Pi-powered Lego Babbage Engine?

Scott Broukell

Re: Working model ?

Surely a non-working model would be . . . . . 'bricked'.

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Blighty's Bloodhound 1,000mph rocket car unveiled ahead of record attempt

Scott Broukell

All very well, but . . .

How did it do in the emissions test?

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1

NOxious Volkswagen diesel emissions scandal: Chief falls on sword

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Win Win

@chivo243 - Didn't you know, just tweak the software and it will magically become a six-seater luxury SUV in an instant.

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Spaniard claims WWII WAR HERO pigeon code crack. Explain please

Scott Broukell

Message Reads:

'Send three and fourpence we are going to a dance' - Message Ends

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Samsung smart fridge leaves Gmail logins open to attack

Scott Broukell
Meh

I have patented a similar, though more secure, system for my larder, I calls it the Internet of Tins.

14
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Hurrah! Windfarms produce whopping ONE PER CENT of EU energy

Scott Broukell
Meh

Consume, consume, consume, again and again, and all the while take everything for granted. We, in the developed western nations, are at the top of the hill – it's all there for our taking. In general we seem to think that we can insulate the walls and lofts of our homes, stick in a few energy saving light bulbs and then be fully justified in placing a heated jacuzzi in the back garden! It seems to me that we might do well to ponder the plight of many millions of folk around the world whose own electricity supplies are anything but regular. I think that if we were to truly imagine dealing with such interrupted supplies ourselves we might begin to re-assess our habits of consumption and appreciate the absolute pure luxury that is, e.g. the drive to a superstore, the freedom to fill trolleys with all manner of globally sourced produce on display in chiller cabinets, freezers or just lit up with enough light bulbs to get 20 more overs in at Lords when bad light is declared. I therefore submit that we need to look very hard at and re-assess all our consumption patterns, not just energy, before things start to go a bit dark! It is a much, much, bigger problem we face than simply whether or not the supply data from alternative energy sources adds up to anything significant at this moment in time. Very reluctantly I am coming around to the view that we in the UK will need increased reliance upon nuclear generation for the next 30 years or more. But I can only find myself agreeing to that if we absolutely ensure that in those 30 years we expand/develop alternative sources of supply and storage to work alongside nuclear generation and seriously address our patterns of consumption and energy use all round, thereby diminishing the grand total that is required to feed into the grid in the first place!

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Global drug-dealing cyber crime web was centred on ... Aberdovey

Scott Broukell
Meh

Historical Note:

The use of 'Psycho-active' drugs really mushroomed in the mid to late 1960s.

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Now car hackers can bust in through your motor's DAB RADIO

Scott Broukell
Meh

Ha!

The only 'Entertainment' systems in my car are a somewhat dog-eared copy of "Eye Spy Lorries and Motor Cars", a rather tatty box of wax crayons and a Woolworths foolscap writing pad (price 3d).

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SCORCHIO! This JUNE was the SIXTY-SIXTH HOTTEST on record

Scott Broukell

Re: Uk Temperatures

@ saxicola - Would it not be more accurate if that read as: "UK Temperatures are very much influenced by the Atlantic Conveyor or 'Gulf stream' AND the meanders of the Northern Jet Stream" ? I would suggest that it is a combination of these two major variable elements that have the greatest local influence on UK weather.

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Were the FIRST AMERICANS really FIRST? MYSTERY of vanished 'Population Y'

Scott Broukell
Coat

First Amercians

Did they come Bering gifts?

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More Apple Car mutterings: Cupertino slurps more autobiz brains

Scott Broukell
Coat

Name

So, will it be called the Peel electric car, (geddit hehe), or maybe the iPeel. I dunno, I wonder if it will have any aPeel at all.

<gets coat>

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Reddit CEO U-turn: Site no longer a bastion of free speech – and stop posting so much hate

Scott Broukell

Re: Mirror, mirror on the wall - the internet.

@AC - Education and an open mind I suppose. If you don't take everything you witness on the web, or media in general, with a healthy pinch of said salt, then you will, as your anecdote would indicate, become very blinkered in your outlook on the world. There's no point in ignoring 'conspiracy' sites either, if you want to achieve a balanced view that is. In the main I find that a brief dip into some such 'conspiracy' site usually bolsters my contrary leanings, but then that probably has more to do with the way they present 'information', rather than the content itself.

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Scott Broukell
Meh

Mirror, mirror on the wall - the internet.

The great internet mirror reflects us back at ourselves through such media and not one of us likes 100% of everything thing that we can see in that reflection. If unfettered freedom of speech is what we want when gazing at the interwebs, then we must also accept there there will be some scars and blemishes in that reflection and that we are equally free to ignore them. But, those 'nasty' bits are parts of the whole reflected image - that is what we mustn't loose sight of. But, no, no, no, we want to sugar the pill, to pull the wool over our own eyes and stick our heads in the sand until the nasty stuff goes away. I would rather have the nasty comments visible, out there in the open, where I can chose to either reflect upon what they say, or choose to ignore them, than have them fester away in a hidden manner where they cannot be challenged. As ever it would seem that minority views are being allowed to distort the much bigger picture.

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Pluto Pic: Is it a DOG? Is it a HEART? Or is it ... is it ... BIGFOOT?

Scott Broukell
Coat

I myself am gladdened by the initial results from this project, I had my fears that it was going to be a Micky Mouse affair.

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Layoff-happy Capita charges staff to use cutlery in canteens

Scott Broukell
Happy

Irony (or stainless steelery in this case perhaps)

Meanwhile the bosses and upper echelons continue to just stuff their snouts at will into troughs that seemingly never empty, funny that.

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D-Wave promises chip that could SEARCH THE WHOLE UNIVERSE

Scott Broukell
Meh

42

<see title>

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Samsung spins up its latest rusty rotators for release

Scott Broukell

Re: Power

@Norphy - Cables with dual USB connectors are available and should draw sufficient power from the USB2.0 sockets. But this means you will need two USB2.0 ports to be available and in tandem / close proximity.

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Fish boffins: Big-brain babes are brilliant, but benefit for boys is bijou

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Conclusion is obvious

But, but, pondering your post has given me a headache and now I'm very confused.

1
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Airplane HACK PANIC! Hold on, it's surely a STORM in a TEACUP

Scott Broukell
Meh

Obvious innit . . .

I find this hardly surprising at all, I mean have you seen the sheer numbers of lunch-time courses, blatantly on offer, freekin everywhere I tell you, for those people who want to become airplane pilates !

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GCHQ puts out open recruitment call for 'white hat' hackers

Scott Broukell
Meh

How about 'Britains Got Telnet'

Each week you could have two opposing teams of four peeps on a TV show, drawn from say; pub quizers, gamers, librarians, IT folk and, of course, ordinary working people (TM). Each team has seven days to find out as much information about the other team members as they can. Categories could include; Hobbies, Health, Finance, Sports and On-line shopping etc. Methods could include your more traditional sifting through the contents of bin bags, intercepting mail and binocular focused observation. Tactics could involve calling the other teams bluff by threatening to reveal something really juicy, even though no such material exists. As the competition progresses the time period allowed could be reduced. In the later, more difficult stages, the teams might have to follow a randomly selected tourist from say a major airport hub and determine his/her identity and reasons for travel without drawing attention to themselves. You could even have all manner of diversionary tactics and double agents!

No, no maybe not.

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Scott Broukell
Meh

<see below>

I think everyone is being most unfair and beastly towards this particular government department - at least they actually bother to listen!

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Theresa May: Right, THIS time we're getting the Snoopers' Charter in

Scott Broukell
Meh

'Britains got Telnet'

Watching, on a prime-time TV near you?

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Fondleslab deaths grounded ALL of American Airlines' 737s

Scott Broukell
Meh

So what goes in the map box now?

Oh, of course, it becomes a charging dock for the gadgets I suppose!

0
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Surgery-bot can be hacked to HACK YOU TO PIECES

Scott Broukell
Unhappy

Shirley . . .

Just build robots that ONLY play golf, invest in more operating theaters/staff/equipment, and yer consultants can concentrate on applying their considerable skills to surgery and catch up with Robo-Golf progress on their E-Scorecards via smartphones when they take a tee break.

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Microsoft to offer special Surface 3 for schools

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Back in my day...

Luxury, bloomin' luxury I say. A slide rule was the most advanced piece of equipment in my satchel. It was (is) open-source, required no batteries, still works to this day (some 50 years later), and has never suffered malware infection or system corruption of any known kind. Storage - that's what yer grey-matter is for. Luxury!

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Boffins: Large Hadron Collider NOW movin', we're getting down and crush groovin'

Scott Broukell
Meh

Just Keep Banging Those (very, very, very small) Rocks Together Guys

<see above>

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BT thinks EE customers will FLEE from enlarged four-play mobe biz

Scott Broukell
Meh

"... future voice services..."

So something like - 'You will be called next month by the mother-in-law, press the hash key to divert the call to Saga Very Long Round the World Cruises, or press the star key to use the AI Automated Prerecorded Conversation system.'

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