* Posts by Scott Broukell

546 posts • joined 20 Sep 2007

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Layoff-happy Capita charges staff to use cutlery in canteens

Scott Broukell
Happy

Irony (or stainless steelery in this case perhaps)

Meanwhile the bosses and upper echelons continue to just stuff their snouts at will into troughs that seemingly never empty, funny that.

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D-Wave promises chip that could SEARCH THE WHOLE UNIVERSE

Scott Broukell
Meh

42

<see title>

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Samsung spins up its latest rusty rotators for release

Scott Broukell

Re: Power

@Norphy - Cables with dual USB connectors are available and should draw sufficient power from the USB2.0 sockets. But this means you will need two USB2.0 ports to be available and in tandem / close proximity.

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Fish boffins: Big-brain babes are brilliant, but benefit for boys is bijou

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Conclusion is obvious

But, but, pondering your post has given me a headache and now I'm very confused.

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Airplane HACK PANIC! Hold on, it's surely a STORM in a TEACUP

Scott Broukell
Meh

Obvious innit . . .

I find this hardly surprising at all, I mean have you seen the sheer numbers of lunch-time courses, blatantly on offer, freekin everywhere I tell you, for those people who want to become airplane pilates !

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1

GCHQ puts out open recruitment call for 'white hat' hackers

Scott Broukell
Meh

How about 'Britains Got Telnet'

Each week you could have two opposing teams of four peeps on a TV show, drawn from say; pub quizers, gamers, librarians, IT folk and, of course, ordinary working people (TM). Each team has seven days to find out as much information about the other team members as they can. Categories could include; Hobbies, Health, Finance, Sports and On-line shopping etc. Methods could include your more traditional sifting through the contents of bin bags, intercepting mail and binocular focused observation. Tactics could involve calling the other teams bluff by threatening to reveal something really juicy, even though no such material exists. As the competition progresses the time period allowed could be reduced. In the later, more difficult stages, the teams might have to follow a randomly selected tourist from say a major airport hub and determine his/her identity and reasons for travel without drawing attention to themselves. You could even have all manner of diversionary tactics and double agents!

No, no maybe not.

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Scott Broukell
Meh

<see below>

I think everyone is being most unfair and beastly towards this particular government department - at least they actually bother to listen!

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Theresa May: Right, THIS time we're getting the Snoopers' Charter in

Scott Broukell
Meh

'Britains got Telnet'

Watching, on a prime-time TV near you?

3
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Fondleslab deaths grounded ALL of American Airlines' 737s

Scott Broukell
Meh

So what goes in the map box now?

Oh, of course, it becomes a charging dock for the gadgets I suppose!

0
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Surgery-bot can be hacked to HACK YOU TO PIECES

Scott Broukell
Unhappy

Shirley . . .

Just build robots that ONLY play golf, invest in more operating theaters/staff/equipment, and yer consultants can concentrate on applying their considerable skills to surgery and catch up with Robo-Golf progress on their E-Scorecards via smartphones when they take a tee break.

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Microsoft to offer special Surface 3 for schools

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Back in my day...

Luxury, bloomin' luxury I say. A slide rule was the most advanced piece of equipment in my satchel. It was (is) open-source, required no batteries, still works to this day (some 50 years later), and has never suffered malware infection or system corruption of any known kind. Storage - that's what yer grey-matter is for. Luxury!

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Boffins: Large Hadron Collider NOW movin', we're getting down and crush groovin'

Scott Broukell
Meh

Just Keep Banging Those (very, very, very small) Rocks Together Guys

<see above>

5
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BT thinks EE customers will FLEE from enlarged four-play mobe biz

Scott Broukell
Meh

"... future voice services..."

So something like - 'You will be called next month by the mother-in-law, press the hash key to divert the call to Saga Very Long Round the World Cruises, or press the star key to use the AI Automated Prerecorded Conversation system.'

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NASA: We're gonna rip up an ASTEROID and make it ORBIT the MOON

Scott Broukell

Just put up a big sign

'Any asteroid found hereabouts, having collided, deemed to have been abandoned or otherwise found to be in contravention of Earth's Near Orbit Rules and Regulations, shall be clamped and the registered keeper fined. A maximum penalty of 5-years imprisonment applies.'

There, that ought to do it.

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On 50th anniversary of first spacewalk, Aurorae light up two planets

Scott Broukell
Pint

I could be wrong but seem to remember something about Alexy Leonov having to cope with what would otherwise be a bit of a brown-space-suit problem for us mere mortals, but was just a bit of a challenge to him as he re-entered the spacecraft - I think his space suit had inflated just enough to cause him to struggle to get back through the canvas envelope that surrounded the hatchway. His ingress was, I believe, further hampered by the fact that the suit gloves had tightened up on him, embiggening the bothersomeness of the whole ordeal. So, yes, indeed, I raise a glass to Alexy Leonov and ALL the other pioneers of early space flight.

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Consumers beware! Ofcom's seen a scary new mobe nasty: APPS

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: The very fact

I take issue with your comment sir - I know for a fact that Ofcom is fully aware that 'Smart Phones' are the ones were you press Button-A when your call is connected and Button-B to return your coins when the call is not connected, so there.

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HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

Scott Broukell
Meh

Machines leaving earth - Yes / Human Meat Bags - No

I can only envisage AI machines, originating from Earth, and perhaps carrying sufficient biological material to replicate humans (when time/conditions permit), traveling through deep space in order to colonize anywhere at all. In missing out the 'meat bag' problem such travel to the orbits of other stars could work and replicated humans might find a niche in this way. Such migrations would therefore proceed in a 'stepping-stone' manner.

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El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

Scott Broukell
Pint

Why not . . .

Fill that little old electric slow-cooker up with seared and seasoned diced pork/chicken/beef strips etc., add some stock (and/or ale - whatever), to taste, plop in a few diced vegetables (peppers / onions / toms etc.), set the timer accordingly and then pop off dahn the boozer for a few hours, safe and smug in the knowledge that a wholesome hot meal awaits you on your return. Simples.

2
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World's mega-rich tax dodge exposed: Meet the HSBC IT bloke at the heart of damning leak

Scott Broukell
Meh

It would appear that there is not a hole lot of difference twixt Swiss banks and Swiss cheese.

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TOTAL DARKNESS lasted 550 MILLION years until the first STARS LIT UP

Scott Broukell
Meh

So, erm . . , if I have understood this correctly, this 'ere ancient light of the cosmos was one of them energy saving thingies was it, took a little bit longer to come on and that?

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Legion of Superheroes fly in from Redmond for SQLBits bash

Scott Broukell
Meh

I for one

Would like to see what they can inject into the proceedings.

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Elon Musk SNOWED UNDER with Googley DOLLARS for Space Internet

Scott Broukell
Coat

Re: could be worse...

..if it was Microsoft - everything about the project could potentially become ElonGated. (but still, I suppose that's the general shape of rocket ships, so it might work)

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BMW: ADMEN have asked us for YOUR connected car DATA

Scott Broukell
Meh

Only intermittently connected.

For the moment at least, my car can only be described as 'connected' when a tow rope is making that connection twixt it and any given recovery vehicle.

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Young CHAP CUFFED in Blighty over Xmas Sony and XBOX hacks

Scott Broukell

Re: Today's tautogram

I C what you did there ;-)

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I'll build a Hyperloop railgun tube-way in Texas, Elon Musk vows

Scott Broukell
Meh

It needs to be asked . . .

Upon arrival at the terminus, will the gloopy mass of body parts, fluids and mashed internal organs that constitute the remains of the luckless passengers, be poured directly into vats destined for the Soylent Green factories?

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Demon Internet goes TITSUP: Outage borks ancient ISP

Scott Broukell
Coat

Re: Alternate Routes

@ Sir Runcible Spoon - "It's a myth" - Presumably that's because all fiber lines lead to Roam ?

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$500 TEDDY BEAR teaches tots to spit up personal data

Scott Broukell
Meh

OMG what if . . . .

. . . the teddy bears' fur harbors some nasty bacteria that will give little Tommy a bad tummy, or worse! Now I need a bug-monitor for the sterility of the teddy, where is this going to end!

Or - have your kidz in a test tube/incubator and put them into a sealed bubble from birth, get fone appz and rest easy so you can fix your eyes to the smart TV for all that must-have advertainment and political messaging. Welcome to the 'modern' way.

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'Nauts end panic by switching computer off and on again

Scott Broukell

Re: Can you believe it?

Do get with it peeps, it's now called 'power cycling' a system, you heard what the man said, enough with this off and on again malarkey.

1
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Paris terror attacks: ISPs face pressure to share MORE data with governments

Scott Broukell
Meh

Worth a listen

The Beeb World Service have a half hour interview which provides some interesting background to IS called something like 'Bureaucracy and Brutality' available as an mp3. Slightly OT here but it really is worth a listen.

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It's 4K-ing big right now, but it's NOT going to save TV

Scott Broukell

Groucho Marx quote . . .

"I find television very educational, whenever it is on in our house I go and read a book"

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Ex-Microsoft Bug Bounty dev forced to decrypt laptop for Paris airport official

Scott Broukell

Re: Playmobil.

I'm a little confused now having read your comment. After all I was just about to complement El Reg on the high definition, up to the minute, imagery they manage to secure in order to document such revelations, truly life-like it is.

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I'm sooooo green: The Beginner's Guide to Krautrock

Scott Broukell
Meh

If you liked any of the above . . .

Then you may also like to search out: The Institute for Transacoustic Research / The (Vienna) Vegetable Orchestra / Gomme Handschuhe Doodlesack(?). But I can't quite remember exactly who performed using the sounds from distressed computers in suitcases as they were savagely chopped and hacked with axes, anybody?

Holger Czukay, co-founder of Can, studied under Karlheinz Stockhausen, who, if my memory serves me well, once wrote a passage for piano wherein the pianist was required to use his/her buttocks.

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Apple v BBC: Fruity firm hits back over Panorama drama

Scott Broukell

Re: God bless us, every one!

Add to that the fact that if you do travel some 900 miles for work and you come from the 'wrong' region/ethnic group, you can come up against some pretty nasty discrimination that can leave you further out of pocket and generally make life rather difficult all round. Such matters aren't, of course, the sole preserve of China and it's economics.

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Scott Broukell

Re: God bless us, every one!

@Tim Worstal

Not all but very many workers in China continue to be dawn to the cities for work because of economic allure, but the majority of those leave children, wives/husbands behind, sometimes many hundreds of miles away. Whilst the wages appear reasonable, when compared to subsistence farming, leaving the kids with grand parents who struggle with the burden, and not seeing them for 6-months at a time, is not an easy thing to bear. If you are young and single it's fine, but what sort of housing could you expect if starting a young family in the city - have you seen what's happened to property prices in big urban/city areas over the past 10-15 years.

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Scott Broukell

Re: God bless us, every one!

You mean . . I . . what . . wait . . that we were mis sold Globalization as well! It's as if we now find ourselves top dog - atop a pile of crumbling social needs, low pay, misery and economic seizure.

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Scott Broukell

Re: Supply and Demand

@ Credas / @ Bloodbeastterror

Honestly peeps I was unaware that Apple "trumpet [their] wonderful ethical policies". If they make such a 'thing' about it then yes, I agree, they should be able to publicly put that to the test. (the only Apple (Macintosh) products that I own are over 30 years old and still work as intended).

I am just reasonably sure that almost every imported product is made at the expense of workers conditions and pay. Therefore I consume as little 'new' product as possible, make what I do have last as long as possible, recycle as much as possible and look for pre-owned alternatives to the latest shiny-shiny if indeed I really 'must' replace something and have a very, very, stern talk with myself about the merits of opening my wallet in any case. So I admit I am probably not representative of the general all-consuming populace, sadly.

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Scott Broukell
Meh

Supply and Demand

T'was ever thus. I would have paid more attention to this if the Beeb had taken a swipe at working conditions for a plethora of tech/gadget manufacturers. Perhaps they could have approached it from the 'Demand' and 'Desire' angle and placed more emphasis on the habits / actions of consumers in the West. The majority of what we import / consume is made under pretty awful conditions for the workers at the sharp end, be it clothing, foot wear or technology. I realize that Apple apparently make something of an ethical approach to workers conditions etc. Well, good luck with that, it isn't going to be easy. Exploitation goes all the way down the slippery slope of the supply chain. If you happen to be at the bottom of that chain you are hit hardest because you have nowhere to move.

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Friday: SpaceX will attempt to land rocket on floating, robotic 'spaceport drone ship'

Scott Broukell
Meh

Since the 1950's I have been deliberately and harshly mislead by illustrated encyclopedias, comic books and all manner of other literature, as to the most common, 'proper', and frequently used technique of landing a space ship on earth by means of retro-rockets and a multi-legged arrangement, sporting up-turned dished feet. As and aside, if it hadn't been for the dear old Hawker Siddeley Harrier jump jet I might have given up all together! So, having had to endure many decades of watching lumps of metal plunge earthwards onto barren ground or into the ocean, I find that, personally, I have a lot invested in seeing this contraption 'do it's thing'. Good luck to all involved.

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Is there ANOTHER UNIVERSE headed BACKWARDS IN TIME?

Scott Broukell
Meh

Is Standing Still the Third way

If, as has been postulated, there are two streams of gravitational time, each traveling in opposite directions, would it not therefore be reasonable to suggest that where they meet, or collide, is the moment of present, the now. Which then might infer that the present is stationary, unmoving, as the two streams cancel each other out at the time-event horizon, or present moment. Might we be able to only observe, or at least sense, the past, as the results of that collision moving backwards (from our standpoint), as if we were moving forwards, but only because we are only able to look backwards and document what has just happened. Walking backwards for Xmas as it were. If we are not able to look in the other direction might that explain why we cannot observe, or accurately predict, the future. By contrast, an observer in the opposing stream of time would be looking backwards (from our standpoint), at a past that is, simultaneously, the future of his/her opposing observer.

But we can predict the future, because prediction is not the same as recording or documenting a happening. I can say that in approximately six days time a machine will be turned on that will appear to chaotically juggle 49 spheres, each with a different numeral written on them, in space-time and then randomly select only six spheres as lucky, winning, numbers in a lottery. But I cannot, however, and to my continued immense frustration, accurately predict which six numbers are going to be drawn in six days time - at that moment of 'now' when two streams of opposing time collide in such a way as to determine the outcome of that lottery. When a seemingly chaotic system reveals a static, ordered, outcome and one which can only be observed looking back upon it. But, in all probability, for a few lottery participants at least, that moment of 'now' will change their futures, or at least the probable predictability of their futures, as determined by the amount of cash they each have available.

So we get the sense of traveling 'forward' in time, but are, in fact, stationary, only able to observe moments 'past', which implies a 'forward' momentum and gives us the impression of travel. A bit like that peculiar sense one gets when sitting on a train known to be at rest, at a platform of the station, when suddenly the train on the next track starts moving and for a brief moment the laws of space-time seem to have been broken and one starts, at the very least, to worry about the implications that Waterloo station and indeed the rest of London, the UK and the entire known universe, are all heading towards the West Country in time for tea.

I need a little lie down now, but I am happy to contemplate upon the probability that my opposite, babbling, commentard of the future El Reg, coming towards me at this very moment, can say something to the effect of: “T, that I doing, the get, shirt”.

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Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Scott Broukell
Meh

Extreme Fisting

Dear Sir, I have been avidly watching this television series for some years in the hope that it would one day focus on the subject matter described in the title. After all I very much welcome progressive program makers dealing with all manner of contemporaneous human activity. However, I am sad to say that watching groups of people bobbing about in boats entrapping fish is not at all what I was anticipating. Therefore I find myself in agreement with those wishing to ban such abundantly erronious and frankly misleading material(s) being transmitted by means of the interwebs.

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MP caught playing Candy Crush at committee meeting: I'll ‘try’ not to do it again

Scott Broukell

If he was dong this whilst attending a Public Accounts Committee meeting, one assumes he would have been playing another game altogether, since one Margaret Hodge can be a pretty angry bird at the best of times.

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Feast your eyes: 10 'fortysomething' smart TVs

Scott Broukell
Meh

Silly CT

You are merely required to watches the advertainments and spendses your precious on more and more and more things and ride around on the merry merry-go-round of aspirational acquisition and debt-fueled spin that eatses up all of your disposable income.

8
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UK.gov mulls three-point turn on three-point turn thanks to satnav. Weeeeeeee. THUD

Scott Broukell
Meh

A growing number of road users have a greater sense of entitlement and a diminished sense of consideration for other road users - something it may be possible to address in driver training. A few hours training on a bicycle/scooter might go some way towards trainees understanding the vulnerabilities faced by some other road user groups. It doesn't really matter where you are driving, two things should always be foremost in your mind, speed and distance - along with the condition of the road surface and the state of the vehicle you are driving. Other than those points, it has to be said that competent drivers need to comprehensively learn how to use the controls (see very first posting - Stephen Tompsett). But, bad habits can be picked up along the way, so it's perhaps not a bad thing to have follow-up tests. I would be happy to have my own errors pointed out to me by a trained instructor. Perhaps the hardest part of driving for the younger generation these days are the elements of distraction provided by mobile devices and yobbish, thoughtless passengers.

5
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Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray

Scott Broukell

@PCS - Have you tried the large clear plastic drinks bottle, stripped of it's label(s), at least one third full of water and left, at a jaunty angle, on the lawn / patio (whatever). Apparently the sight of a motionless body in this form is enough to unsettle the majority of tom cats who come across it.

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Our system handles £130bn and it's BUST. Want the job of fixing it? Apply to UK.gov

Scott Broukell
Meh

Integration Manager

So, presumably in this case, that would be the integration of both arse and elbow ?

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It’s PAYBACK time as HUMANS send a PROBE up ALIEN body

Scott Broukell
Meh

Amatuers !

My missus always keeps the batteries on our probes fully charged, even when, more often than not, they are deployed where the sun don't shine. (eew)

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Mastercard and Visa to ERADICATE password authentication

Scott Broukell

Re: Marta Janus

Hugh Janus is not dead. He just smells funny.

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Rosetta probot drilling DENIED: Philae has its 'LEG in the AIR'

Scott Broukell
Coat

Re: Still alive

Indeed, I wonder if the folks at ESA are "Philaen Groovy" right now.

1
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Pay-by-bonk chip lets hackers pop all your favourite phones

Scott Broukell
Meh

Sweden

I do believe I recently heard mention of Sweden's intention to become the first 'Cashless' country. I do hope the folks in charge there are taking serious note of issues regarding NFC and other such technologies. I'm off now to count the groats in the pot I buried in the garden.

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SUPER-JAMMY Philae comet probe got down WITHOUT harpoons

Scott Broukell
Coat

Bloomin typical !

You unpack yer new washing machine and two things go wrong almost immediately, no wonder they've taken it back to Comet!

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