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* Posts by Scott Broukell

444 posts • joined 20 Sep 2007

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MIT boffins moot tsunami-proof floating nuke power plants

Scott Broukell
Meh

Doh!

Just when they said it was safe to go back in the water. Alas I have a sinking feeling about my plans for lead-lined swimwear. Still, the oceans should be even warmer at this rate and folk will be able to surf right through the night, what with all the glow-in-the-dark seaweed etc.

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So you invent a wireless network using LEDs, what do you do next? Add solar panels. Boom

Scott Broukell

Smoke and mirrors!

Is that how one hacks these new networks?

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Organic food: Pricey, not particularly healthy, won't save you from cancer

Scott Broukell
Meh

SOIL

Soil is truly marvelous stuff, it is beautiful, natures perfect medium for growth. But it is very fragile, just one part of a larger ecosystem and almost impossible to replace once it's gone. Hasn't it been proved many times over the years by Henry Doubleday / Soil Association etc that using organic agriculture (without man-made chemical fertilizers) yields will actually increase against modern agrochemical methods. We dearly need to hang on to soils and the things that keep them in good, productive, shape - hedgerows, bio diversity, natural forms of fertilization. Although arable food production appears more profitable because yields can be higher in concentration and it's easier for machines to harvest in a high density mono-culture, many are of the mind that in the long run (thinking of the children here), we will exhaust the soils performance if we continue with such modern mechanized methods. Soil - once it's gone, it's gone - there ain't no going back. Keeping it alive and well is a current battle for many farmers, together with irrigation and chemical fertilizer costs. We've never had it so good (in the developed world), in terms of the complete and utter luxury of being able to walk into a supermarket, fill a trolly with all manner of produce and then throw it all in the boot of the car - all without a care in the world about how sustainable this habit is. Things do need to change, fast and quite radically!

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HIDDEN OCEAN of LIVING SOUP found on Enceladus, moon of Saturn

Scott Broukell
Meh

Nothing to see here, move along.

This is just a recent infrastructure project from Thames Water that has sprung a bit of a leak. They called round and left a note asking if a repair was important and would they like it done within the next 1000 years, but nobody was home.

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First pics: Comet-chaser Rosetta hurtles towards icy prey, camera in hand

Scott Broukell

And ...

... when the instrument package is landed there's a sign there saying "Private Land, Trespassers will be prosecuted, Wheel clamping area, No parking". Or maybe they will find one of those plastic-wrapped planning notices, al la Vogon, taped to a metal post of some kind.

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Oxfam, you're full of FAIL. Leave economics to sensible bods

Scott Broukell

Money – almost akin to dark matter – it's everywhere, we are told nothing would function without it and it interacts, with varying degrees, with all of us. Some have the means to attract large amounts of it to themselves, whilst others are less concerned with such attachments, preferring to place more 'value' in people and their environment. Or just plain 'putting up' with the fact that the bloody stuff has to be dealt with at times.

Money as a Sticking Plaster (read Oxfam and International Aid etc.) – doesn't really work because it won't interact properly with 'softer' real-life values, like how to build a shelter for me and my family without it bloody interacting with the individuals who act as a conduit for it and syphon a portion off for their own gains. Human individuals go all bat-shit at the very sight of the stuff and cannot control themselves or think rationally about how to convert it into useful things. Neither does it solve underlying problems in the developing world, it just keeps interacting destructively with dumb people again and again.

Every man on this planet wants; a dwelling, some active employment – rewarded with food or the means to buy food etc. and the chance to improve the lives of their offspring (read educational opportunities). But this bloody stuff (money), distorts and skews the chances wildly. Some people go crazy for Cartier watches and luxury cars – pumping up the particle energy levels of money to unsustainable stupid values. They revel in orgasmic-like trances over everything that glitters, further reducing their ability to rationalise the wider impact of applying too much value to this little understood material.

People themselves are of so much more real value and importance – get over it.

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NSA spies recorded an entire COUNTRY'S phone calls for a MONTH: Report

Scott Broukell

It's ok

"Your calls may be recorded for training porpoises."

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Blighty goes retro with 12-sided pound coin

Scott Broukell

Easy to fake

Using some powerful tin snips, or maybe a guillotine, just cut straight edges off of a £2 coin, job done ..... oh wait a minute ......

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Don't stare: SHRUNKEN Mercury lost 7km, but only 'cos it's COOLING

Scott Broukell

*Warning*

May contain nuts!

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Bill Gates-backed SOLAR POO RAYGUN COMMODE unveiled

Scott Broukell

Re: Sounds a good idea...

I second that motion. (eww)

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Actually, there is an Arapaho word for 'pliers'

Scott Broukell
Meh

Shouldn't that be

nenee toyóób or nenee ko'oot - just saying.

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Boffins demo FIVE MICRON internal combustion engine

Scott Broukell
Meh

Mrs Non Smoker & Mrs Smoker

"It's a piston engine"

"What d'you want that for then?"

"Well, it was a bargain weren't it!"

"Oh, day and night, but this is wondrous strange ... "

(apologies to Chapman, Palin, Idle et al)

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X marks the... They SAID there was a mystery planet there – NASA

Scott Broukell
Joke

Shirley they Oort to know one way or the other.

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Florida bloke cuffed for pit bull shag outrage

Scott Broukell
Joke

Guess he might have a ruff time if he ends up in jail.

If he had fornicated with a sheep he would certainly end up behind ba-s.

Let sleeping dogs lie - that ones shagged out anyway.

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Blimey! ANOTHER Bitcoin bleed brouhaha

Scott Broukell

anagram

I C NO BIT

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Crack Euro banker team to probe whether virtual currencies should be regulated

Scott Broukell

Re: Proceeds of crime?

Double-Double under hand Double Deal - or the crims set up and operate cyber currencies betwixt themselves (aren't they doing that already - not really sure?) and appear to pay into the gubermint backed digi-dollar system, but are in fact only leaving empty deposits that just look like they contain said ill gotten gained cyber-cents. Meanwhile laundering funds into the real world and providing a boost to economies.

Oh Feckit! - there's enough criminality already wrapped up in the guise of 'legitimate' financial goings on to suggest we just go back to bartering our skills, products and services. None of it is worth the cloth/paper it's printed on any way. Just look at the crap we are prepared to spend it on! and then, when we are done with it, we throw it away in holes in the ground!

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Dashboard Siri! Take me to the airport! NO, NOT the RUNWAY! Argh!

Scott Broukell

Some forward thinking car manufacturer may come up with a system to choose which fone you want to play with whilst concentrating on guiding your vehicle to said airport. Something in a little box on the dash, with walnut veneer and a Bakalite® knob which can be rotated to select the desired fone system. Just a thought. I'll get myself down the shed in a mo.

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Bitcoin or bust: MtGox files for bankruptcy protection

Scott Broukell
Meh

News just in

MtGox behaves just the same way as any other regular bank and looses tons of money for peeps, glad to hear that the banking system, digital or not, is getting on all right. Shouldn't we all now contribute to a whip-round or something to bail them out?

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UK man Lauri Love accused of hacking US Federal Reserve

Scott Broukell
Joke

So I had this job at the Federal Reserve only I had to leave on account of Janet Yellen, I just couldn't stand the noise.

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Official FACT: Gadgets are giving YOU a wrinkly 'Tech Neck'

Scott Broukell
Pint

Re: How standards have fallen

Oh! beggar, I see the pint you are making. I stand corrugated before you and will go to the back of the glass, a ledge billy.

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Scott Broukell
Meh

I don't know about musculoskeletal deformaties but it has often crossed my mind that perhaps I should retrain in ophthalmology, given the miniscule size of on-screen text that I observe the yoofs reading from their mobile fone screens. Makes my eyes water it does, still, maybe they are good at reading the small print on food labels etc, which, hence forth remain a totally eligible mess for many oldnus such as myself.

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Climate change will 'CAUSE huge increase in MURDER, ROBBERY and RAPE'

Scott Broukell

Re: Difficult to take this serious

There is no doubt whatsoever that increasing access to education for females in the developing world, giving them a voice in the male-dominated cultural and political landscape, is a 'must-do' with regard to getting the largest, and most vulnerable, populations of the planet to realize their own potential and find a way out of living behind the curve. The same can be said for large parts of the developed world as well.

In fact I am confident that given a chance, educated younger minds in the third world would fair better at realizing how to live sustainably, re-using material and seeing 'waste' as a resource, than many in the developed world - they should do, because not only will they have learned lessons from our throw-away culture, but the poor bastards have got enough of our waste to deal with to boot. They also have greater experience of hardship and making-do to fall back on.

(Slightly OT rant over - "nurse ....")

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Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Difficult to take this serious

But is it not the case that poor management and implementation of at least the first three items on your list are themselves root causes of the quantifiable anthropogenic input to the greater climate change we are experiencing. I think what the author is pointing to is that the richer, better equipped, minority are likely to fair better when things start getting really tough and the growing number of disenfranchised, less well of folk, will be fighting tooth and nail, *between themselves*, for survival, whilst said minority gaze down upon the unfolding scene from their bomb-proof, glass and steel bunkers. The time for humanity to pull together is now, for the sake of future generations, but when has humanity ever demonstrated it's ability to do that - never. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

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Curiosity now going BACKWARDS

Scott Broukell
Coat

Question is ......

What will this action do for the project as a whole, 'going forwards'

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No, pesky lawyers, particle colliders WON'T destroy the Earth

Scott Broukell
Meh

So that's what that big RED button is for!

<see above>

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IT'S ALIVE! China's Jade Rabbit rover RETURNS from the DEAD

Scott Broukell
Thumb Up

Re: Good news

It will certainly have given them some paws for thought.

(Mines the little fur-lined number)

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'No, I CAN'T write code myself,' admits woman in charge of teaching our kids to code

Scott Broukell
Meh

Garbage in garbage out

Programming is breaking a given process down into logical steps and writing a sequence of instructions to emulate the process in a program language of your choice. When I studied 'puters we spent months doing stuff long-hand on paper with pencils and rubbers and learned to debug our routines with the grey matter in our skulls. Only when we could demonstrate the most refined, or thereabouts, logic and code skills were we allowed a time-slot to access the main frame. But I imagine there is very little in what I describe to attract today's students to such activities - they want to be quickly and easily rewarded with flashy graphics and bright lights. Many years later I remember chuckling to myself playing with Pascal 'Turtles', controlling mechanical parts directly, using CRT monitors and with more languages than I could shake a stick at.

So please, teach them about logic first, then introduce the fun part of making their written instructions actually do things in the real world and don't teach them to just make web shites - those that wish to construct HTML will gravitate towards that of their own accord later.

Note to Teachers - it can even be a cross-curricula activity as well you know, so as to broaden the scope and areas of application and to encourage as many pupils as possible.

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WHEEE... CRUNCH! iPad Mini tops list of most breakable slabs, mobes

Scott Broukell
Meh

Wrist Tether ?

I can't help thinking that a simple tether would assist the user in gravitationally induced mishaps such as the ones described. Maybe that wouldn't be 'Kool' (i wouldn't know) but it might also guard against street snatches by thieves on push bikes? I mean one only needs one hand/finger to smear the screen with, leaving the other one free to act as an anchor. I've probably missed something.

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CERN outlines plan for new 100km circumference supercollider

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Why not space?

Which may result in;

S - uperconducting

P - hysics

H - ousing

I - mmense

N - eodymium

C - elestiral

T - okomak

E - experimental

R - esearch

or a large black hole, whichever applies.

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Scott Broukell
Meh

Keep banging those rocks together guys

Strikes me that after many thousands of years of human development we are still only at the stage of banging the rocks together. Nothing terribly wrong with that, it eventually, after a very, very, slow start, led to some remarkable technology. Now the 'rocks' are just very very small indeed and are only fleeting examples of their earlier much larger counterparts. Maybe this collision thing tells us everything we would need to know about where and what we are, or maybe the next 'step' in our development is just around the corner and a very different and distinct kettle of quantum fishes is about to be fed to the dolphins. CERN - Concussion Experiments Requiring Neutrons. (well heavy lead ions and protons anyway).

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Think British weather is bad? It's nothing to this WOBBLY ALIEN planet

Scott Broukell
Joke

23.5 degrees over 26,000 years

I told you I felt the earth move darling!

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London's King of Clamps shuts down numberplate camera site

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Just wondering?

Dear Sir, I should very much like to register a complaint with regard to your Auto-E-car Parking map system. Last Thursday afternoon, whilst visiting my tailor on the Commercial Road, my vehicle promised me, in all good faith, that, having dropped me off at said establishment, it would promptly dispatch itself to a legitimate and legal, clamp-free, parking zone and await my further instruction, whilst measurements were taken and the finest cloth examined. Upon completion of my duties at the outfitters I summoned my vehicle forth, but, alas, to no avail. It later transpired that due to a 'glitch' in said mapping system, my vehicle had rather unwisely chosen the Shadwell Basin as a legitimate parking zone. It will take me months to dry out the patent leather seat covers and damasc covered interior upholstery, let alone drain the rest of the mechanical parts. I demand you recompense me forthwith and also refund the 3 Guineas, 11 and sixpence I was forced to hand over in order to be ferried home on public transport! Please ensure that your systems are kept up to date at all times henceforth.

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Scott Broukell
Meh

Just wondering?

What might be the reaction of a (future coming to you soon) self-drive Google Car et al to being clamped. Would said vehicle perhaps be aware, via sensors, that it had been clamped (and therefore advise its owner accordingly) or would it make every attempt to drive off when later commanded by it's, remote, owner? Perhaps future clamps will have embedded chippery that will alert said vehicle to the clamping predicament? - but then fiendish souls could rig clampless chippery to just disable the vehicle by making it think it was clamped. Or, better still, said vehicle might be able to detect approaching clampers and remove itself to another, less clamp-prone, location. Just saying.

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Unmanned, autonomous ROBOT TRUCK CONVOY 'drives though town'

Scott Broukell
Meh

Auto-truck Convoy delivery notice ...

We called but nobody was home, we left your packages with your those nice folks next door who were very willing to help, oops!

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Yes, HP will still sue you if you make cartridges for its inkjet printers

Scott Broukell
Meh

What!

You mean there's coloured ink in there and stuff - I thought the machine was just designed to just fold A4 sheets in ever more intricate, wrinkled and bizarre ways. Learn sunnink evry day dun'tcha!

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A BBC-by-subscription 'would be richer', MPs told

Scott Broukell
Meh

Riches

The BBC and our culture would be a lot richer if the BBC simply stuck to what it is good at, namely; Current Affairs, News, Documentaries, Investigative Journalism, Consumer Programs and some off-the-wall Comedy / Satire. I'm sure it could easily achieve that on the pittance we license payers cough up. Leave the glitzy-fashion-pop-cookery-drama drivel to the other channels (there are certainly enough of them) - see, massive saving there already. I'm an avid World Service fan cos it broadens my, some would say limited, intellectual horizons and gives me a better understanding of the world (not just my tiny corner) - so get rid of the pop-tart-talk-radio-local-fone-in garbage while your at please.

>Rant Over .... nurse...

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Our Milky Way galaxy is INSIDE OUT. Just as we suspected, mutter boffins

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Many dimensions

@Khaptain

Or what about a simultaneous miniscule spherical (oblate) surface, within, a massively larger spherical (oblate) surface and replace the euclidean topography of the torus with pathways that continue each surface infinitely, as you suggest, but via black holes, contorting and compressing the field-lines of space time endlessly along said 'conveyor belt'. The 4% of matter we can account for, which includes ourselves and all observable galaxies, being made up merely from the exhaust / pollution / remnants, call it what you will, of the sudden massive inflation which befell the quark-gluon plasma that hung around for a relatively short while after an instability / perturbation set in on the singularity, that may or may not itself, have resulted from a prior super-massively-tiny universe, having reached a (near) perfect entropic state of pure photons only to find itself ripped apart by the fact that space-time cannot tolerate a static 'conveyor belt', whichever direction it is traveling in. That's my take on it.

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Five UK banks sign up to hook up customers' ACCOUNTS to their MOBILE DEVICES

Scott Broukell
Meh

Re: Age realated Dislike Disorder here too.

Now, now, we probably have ourselves to blame for any broad swathes of poorly educated masses 'sexting' with their mobile devices by letting blooming hippie teachers start rearranging the desks into little 'groups' in the 70's.

That aside, digital transactions of this type will most probably be lapped up by younger generations and that is to be expected after all. All we can do is remind them of the 'old ways' and encourage the brighter ones to absorb a wider range of historical knowledge such that they might come up with new, and improved, 'ways' compared to our old ones. I just hope they keep cash around for a few more years.

Got to go, my smart-home, I.O.T., app says my slippers are at optimum temperature are are to be removed from atop the wood burner forthwith ;)

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Scott Broukell
Meh

Age realated Dislike Disorder here too.

Whilst there was enough of an uproar to reverse, at least for the moment, the recent proposal to do away with cheques, I fear that this is the thin of the wedge with regard to the demise of cash altogether. Cash is apparently expensive to print, distribute and count, so banks would love us to give it up all together and embrace entirely digital transactions. Although cash might 'cost' the banks something it appears to have no affect whatsoever on their beloved bonuses etc, so it can't cost them that much can it. Apart from the security issues, which will probably end up costing the banks a lot more than cash ever did, despite counterfeiting etc, it is a worrisome thing indeed.

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Use strong passwords and install antivirus, mmkay? UK.gov pushes awareness campaign

Scott Broukell
Meh

[quote] "always ensuring to check online retail sites are secure" - Presumably this makes Mrs. Potter of number 92 'The Willows' a world-class penetration tester?

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Bosch launches obligatory Internet of Things push

Scott Broukell
Meh

Might have its uses

If then the washing machine could alert me to the fact that I have, ONE AGAIN, put my deep russet colored corduroys in the wash together with my wife's delicate white undies, then such technology could save me a lot of hassle. Although, since world and dog are pretty unlikely, one would very much hope, to notice the finer details of my wife's newly brown-rust-coloured undergarments, the operative word being 'under' garments, I can't ever see what all the fuss is about. In fact I would go so far as to say that one such pronounced benefit of such a camouflage technique is the visible diminution of the skid marks on my own undies, ah well.

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Time travellers outsmart the NSA

Scott Broukell
Alien

Old news in the next hour

I have already seen what you are going to be doing here.

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Cassini spots MEGA-METHANE SEAS on the north pole of Titan

Scott Broukell
Happy

Chemistry set

It never fails to amaze me that some 350,000 years or so after a pint-sized quark-gluon plasma emerged from somewhere or other, as yet unknown, the entire universe turned into an enormously large, active, chemistry set.

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UK fondleslab surge slowing, says sales-sniffing specialist

Scott Broukell
Happy

Re: They're already as good as they need to be

I'm a techie as well and I know just what you mean. I own several abaci and they are all pretty much of a muchness. The earliest of which, thought to come from Isfahan (c.550 BC), is the best though, especially with a regular little dab of mutton fat on the 'wires'. Sure, over the development course of a thousand years the colour and texture of the beads changed from time to time but I wish I hadn't splashed out on some of the more recent models, just cos they were more blinged-up, sheesh.

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Submerged Navy submarine successfully launches drone from missile tubes

Scott Broukell
Meh

Loitering vertical capsule expulsion system.

How about using the kind of vertically-orientated tech that has been used for oceanographic survey buoys for years. Those things spend years going up and down automatically in the water column monitoring salinity / temps etc. Discreetly launch the pre-programmed launch vehicle (firing tube) nice and quietly into position a few meters below the surface, assisted with said buoyancy tech. Move away to desired position and wait for the thing to fire out of the tube at predetermined time and acquire target etc. That way, if the launch does attract the enemy's attention you're long gone. Of course, you would need confidence in your knowledge of currents / drift etc. but surely that's got to be a big part of sub navigation already? If launch fails, after a predetermined time limit, it destroys itself. But only after sending out a brief, coded, sonar message as a warning - never return to a firework you have already lit!

Well, I'm of to the patent office, see yer.

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Scott Broukell
Mushroom

BBC series .....

"If you would like to find out more about the awesome power of nuclear weapons, press the RED button now!"

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Women crap at parking: Official

Scott Broukell
Meh

Parking Rant

I am under the distinct impression that a growing number of people, of all genders and ages, are becoming sh*t at parking. That and refusing to take a shopping trolly back to the correct repository and instead choosing to leave it in the middle of the adjacent parking bay. When I park I like to consider the person(s) already parked, or who might park, next to me. They may for instance be elderly, have need of pushchairs and tons of baby-related equipment or just require that they can open a car door more than 2.5 inches for reasons of ingress/egress. I accept that in may cases car park layout with bays that are patently too narrow must take some of the blame, but generally a lot more consideration for others wouldn't go amiss.

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ROBOT SWARM positions itself over EARTH ... to probe our magnetic field

Scott Broukell
Stop

Bloomin' Pols, coming over here and muckin abhart wiv our magnetisms!

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VIOLENT video games make KIDS SMARTER – more violent the BETTER

Scott Broukell
Meh

As a youngster, at the dawn of television, I played Monopoly ™ at least twice a day, almost every day, for many, happy years. I've since become CEO of a massive private banking corporation - I take unbridled risks with vast sums of money every hour of the day, enjoy massive annual bonuses and stomp on little plebs with their grandiose plans for establishing ethical / green businesses that create worthwhile jobs and contribute to social development. I therefore defy anybody to claim that such worthwhile youthful activities led me astray in any way whatsoever.

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We're making TOO MUCH CASH, say CryptoLocker scum in ransom price cut

Scott Broukell
Meh

How nice of them

Will they be offering loyalty points next?

Sign up to our crypto-bot-net offer now - infect 1000 machines in the next month and we will be giving away sheeple bitstuff free!

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