Made of arsewater

I don't want multitasking to any greater extent than playing music while browsing.

I do want a decent OS but I suspect that's actually what has been provided.

I don't need to be able to touch type on it and don't want flash, java, a camera or more storage.

I can afford one and as a grown up I don't feel the need to be embarrassed myself by the name a company chooses for its product.

I don't claim my requirements to be those of every other potential purchaser of the thing, that'd just make me look like a spoiled, stupid berk but for me it looks like something that'd get some use around the house.