In defence of cats
Hi, I am a cat. My servant, Sceptical Bastard (or SB as I call him when I deign to address him at all) is taking a shower so I've commandeered his keyboard to defend us felines.
To all you humantard commentators dissing us cats, I say FOAD. Do you want to be over-run with mice and birds? No? Then shut the fuck up.
Do you two-legged furless fuckwits seriously think we'd be interested in looking at pictures of you abusing your kittens? No. It is quite obvious that my brother in America was exacting revenge for some insult or neglect. And good luck to him!
Any more whingeing from you lot and there'll be fur flying! And - if you read this - the same goes for you SB. Now get out of that bathroom and open that sachet of catfood before I shit under your pillow and spray your freshly-laundered shirts.
- Geek's Guide to Britain INSIDE GCHQ: Welcome to Cheltenham's cottage industry
- 'Catastrophic failure' of 3D-printed gun in Oz Police test
- Game Theory Is the next-gen console war already One?
- Analysis Spam and the Byzantine Empire: How Bitcoin tech REALLY works
- VIDEO Herschel Space Observatory spots galaxies merging