Chris Mole

He's just jealous of Toad (Clarkson), because of Toad's obsession with cars.

Next thing, Mole, Badger (the misanthropic Brown?) and Ratty (the Daily Heil's Paul Dacre) will be off to Jezza's place and put him under house arrest.

Jezza will duly escape, nick a lorry and be arrested for making jokes insensitive to the feelings of ordinary Heil readers, who confuse fork lifts with 38 tonners.

What an insignificant little jumped up twat Mole is - as in the book, he's obviously baffled by real life.