Surely I can't be the only one to notice the two headlines on today's page? Cambridge students vomiting all over the place and the US testing a vomit ray? Given the presens of large US air bases nearby, then there must be a sinister plot to test the vomit ray on cambridge students. After all, Cambridge students are hard-working conscientious types who'd surely never get totally rat-arsed!

I write as another former student!