Just about no phone company makes "dumb" phones any more

Really?Really?

I take it you haven't seen the £6 ones in Tesco's?

I have a "dumb" Samsung next to me, the wife has a "dumb" Nokia (who by the way still make way more dumb ones than smart ones.

Of course definition of dumb is subjective. As my dumb phone has a 1 month standy by, several hours talk time, never drops a call, has great voice quality and hardly ever has no signal, how dumb is it?