1. No Swappable Battery
Personally I don't need to swap the battery and it would mean replacing the glass back with some crappy plasticky hatch.
2. No Memory Card Slot
Ditto, 16Gb is fine for me.
3. Buying iPhones Encourages The Walled-Garden Business Model
I really don't care what impact buying a product has on the industry as a whole.
4. Not Actually That Great As A Phone
This doesn't even make sense. As a 'phone' for making calls, or as a 'smartphone' ie. as a computer?
5. Scarcely Marks You Out As One Of The Cognoscenti
If everybody drove Ferrari's would you still not want one?
6. Stephen Fry Likes It
I assume you had this when you were scraping the barrel at 10, but moved it to 6 to try and hide it?
7. Very, Very Expensive For What It Is
£99 and £35 a month (on 3) isn't expensive. It's not 2007 when the 1G came out any more.
8. Antenna is Badly Designed
I honestly have never ever had any problem with the antenna. I'm not left handed, where it might be an issue, but it's not an issue.
9. You Don't Get Much Screen Considering How Big It Is
True, but the resolution is so high, it doesn't feel small.
10. If You Must Buy One, For Pity's Sake Not Now
Who cares though? If you really really want one, just get one. It's not a fridge-freezer purchase.