back to article Irish chap romps off with Bad Sex award

Irish author Rowan Somerville has seen off former Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell in the race to secure the Literary Review's Bad Sex in Fiction Award 2010. Somerville deservedly took the honours for excerpts from his second novel The Shape of Her, including: “Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Richard 81

    Froidian terror

    “upturned like the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal, sniffing the night”

    That one's going to haunt me.

    1. gerryg

      "Froidian"?

      Is the idea leaving you cold? What would Freud make of that?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I think he must mean Sigman Froid

        http://www.conqueranxietyanddepression.com/Psychologists/sigman-froid-psychologist.php

        Amazing what Google can drag up.

  2. Blofeld's Cat
    Badgers

    A new excuse?

    "I may be late dear, I've got to pin down a bug at the office - and it's a tough one"

    <- “upturned like the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal, sniffing the night”

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Irish Chap ?

    Says here that 'Rowan Somerville was born near the Tottenham Court Road in 1966 `,

    http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/rowan-somerville/

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    What?

    No mention of Alan Tichmarshs 1998 winner Mr MacGregor?

    "entangled in the lissome limbs of this human boa constrictor"

  5. HaplessPoet
    WTF?

    otorhinolaryngological?

    Throat I understand, but ear and nose? That's going too far!

  6. George Nacht
    Happy

    Why oh why...

    ...and here I was, thinking naively that my Ron Weasley fanfiction was disgusting!

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Why oh why...

      Great. Do you have anything for removing vomit from keyboards?

      That was the last straw.......

  7. GrahamT
    Boffin

    My Thesis

    On the Gender Differences in Fictional Writings Concerning Human Sexual Activity.

    Women Don't;

    Man can't.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      let me shoot that down for you

      women do.

      belle de jour?

      thumbs up...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    otorhinolaryngological caverns

    A phrase for everyday conversation.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      Oh dear....

      As some who works with otorhinolaryngological caverns, I have a feeling I'll be reciting that passage to a therapist one day.

  9. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Pint

    "Hair razored and ordered in the shape of a swastika."

    Is that Krautchan's Bernadette?

  10. JDX Gold badge

    tit le

    Those various excerpts remind me somewhat of Vogon poetry

    1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

      Vogon poetry

      Ode to a small lump of green pussy I found on my schlong one midsummer morning?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    new keyboard please

    Just too hilarious.

  12. laird cummings

    Scarred for life...

    ... I think I'll have my teen daughter read some of this.

    I'll never have grandchildren, of course, but I won't have to wait up for her to return from a date, either.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Sadly it's restricted to fiction

    otherwise Blair himself might have got the nod for the wholly unnecessary sex scenes that can be found within the pages of his memoirs.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Troll

      It's your own fault

      You deserve the mental anguish for having given that crook more money. Go and sit in the corner of shame.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        No purchase necessary (indeed, it's strongly discouraged)

        http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/6242543/blair-the-sex-scenes.thtml

  14. brain_flakes
    Boffin

    My friend works for the publisher ...

    My friend works for the publisher who published this novel, she was telling me last night how she had to do a corrections session over the phone with the author, she spend 2 hours on the phone while the author asked questions like "Do yer think the nipples should be hard or erect Kelly, what do you think would work better in that passage?".

    Afterwards she felt compelled to tell everyone in her office she thought she'd just had phone sex with one of the authors...

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect...

    sounds like the ex has got into a new relationship again

This topic is closed for new posts.