dangerous biscuits?....
I've often asked my wife if she'd like to suck a ginger nut, but she always refuses.
She's not fond of a quick hobnob either. Ask anyone.
I'm delighted to report that my world-beating journalism has finally received the recognition it deserves, at least in one small corner of the Garden of England. Here's the improbable story: Reg director Drew Cullen has a daughter who goes to a grammar school in Kent. One day, a mate excitedly waved a piece of paper in her …
But then, we know you're well-deserving: anyone who remembers The Rockall Times can testify (and to think I still have my 'There's F..al on Rockall' t-shirt, given in recognition of..well, whatever it was I wrote at the time).
Go Lester, I say.
Ah. Just to clarify: that's not to be interpreted as instruction to leave.
But I can attest that Ginger Nuts are *not* relatively risk free. Or rather, my dentist can attest to that. Best of all was the statistic of people poking themselves in the eye. The mind boggles.
Any chance of a followup? Is the killer-biccy league table static? Are we overcoming our fear of lightly baked delicacies? Or are custard creams really out for blood? Can we at least attempt to build a paper bomb loaded to custard creams to drop on Sarah Palin?
Well here at Headache Acres I can vouch for the above story. The Lovely Ivana ended up in casualty after the equally lovely Ivana III (aged about 18 months at the time) poked her in the eye with a Ginger Nut. It hadn't yet been gummed so it was still hard & crispy (and sharp!).
Oh how they laughed at the hospital.
Mind you putting parents into hospital runs in the family. The delightfully Lovely Ivana II (aged about 3) put me in casualty by dashing in front of me just as I'm stepping on to the top step of the stairs to go down to answer the front door.
The visitor had the shock of his life when the door was opened and a blood covered face said "You'll have to drive me to hospital"
Dear Mr. Haines,
It is, dare I say, astonishing to learn that your influence on the reading habits of the youth of England is more profound than Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, or even Terry Pratchett. As these youth mature and as the rest of the world comes to share their judgment, it seems certain that the Nobel Prize Committee will be compelled to award you the prize for literature.
You have both an awesome responsibility and a strong incentive to re-double the effort you spend on your art.
Good news and story. But the head and subhead line gave me a heart attack. 'Has the register become completely anti the think of the children crowd', I though. But I clicked on it anyway, don't know what that says.....
Beer cause you should get one.
Happened before though hasn't it.
Remember that pub conversation that occured a few years back as I'm there stating how long I've been reading the register as you'd just said you wrote for it. I said I'd got here from finding the BOFH being written and it took me back to my uni years only to go through names of the hacks that I remembered off the top of my head only to reveal yours. I seem to recall you were quite stunned.
I think the only thing that would have topped it off was if I had been wearing the 419 t-shirt that you'd designed.
I've still got it though =)
Have another pint on me!!