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back to article Police issue lettuce e-fit

Hampshire Police have blamed dodgy software for an e-fit image of a burglary suspect with suspiciously salady hair. The man is accused of nabbing £60 from an elderly victim in Stockbridge. He was described as between 40 and 45 years old, with a round, clean-shaven face and hair fashioned entirely from lettuce leaves large …

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  1. jake Silver badge

    May I be the first to say ...

    That pic is obviously 'shopped ... Maybe Plod should learn to use gimp?

    2 2
    1. Dale 3
      Reply Icon

      E-fit

      Yes, it's an e-fit, not a photograph. That's how they work.

      0 0
      1. LaeMing
        Reply Icon
        FAIL

        This is why,

        El Reg implimented the "Joke Alert" icon. You will need to use it in future, Jake, as some people genuinely need the extra hint.

        0 0
        1. jake Silver badge
          Reply Icon
          Pint

          Re: LaeMing

          I don't do icons. Icons are for AOLers. If any given reader doesn't "get" the humor, they generally add to it. Win-win, no?

          Well ... To be sure, I use the beer icon occasionally, but that's about it.

          This round's on me :-)

          2 2
  2. s. pam Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    When apprehended, the salad said

    His human rights had been violated as he was portrayed as a vegetable and was not given a normal dose of dressing. Accordingly he has been released, where subsequntly he was consumed by a member of PETA.

    2 0
  3. Sweeping Brush

    Colour blind witness?

    Did they not maybe figure that the reason the hair was green was because the witness saw it as NOT green due to colour blindness?

    1 0
  4. David 18
    Coat

    Software updates

    I wonder if she was just trying to say he had cauliflower ears...

    1 0
  5. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    Have the Police made enquiries at El Reg's offices?

    It could be John Lettice...

    4 0
  6. Ged T
    Joke

    Salad days for Hamphire force

    that's all

    0 0
  7. LuMan
    Joke

    Quick - tell the Peelers!

    As the Webb closes in, this could just be the tip of the Iceberg!

    4 0
  8. Studley
    Troll

    Lost in translation?

    Maybe she meant that he had cauliflower ears.

    Troll, because I'd like to see what the photo-ma-tron would do with it (I'm guessing, a beetroot).

    0 0
  9. disgruntled yank

    hmm

    One thinks of Brendan Behan's description, in _Borstal Boy_ of a fellow lag as "not as green as he was cabbage-looking".

    0 0
  10. Simon Harris
    Joke

    Police want to question him about a jewellery theft...

    After a collection of little gems was reported stolen.

    1 0
  11. Jim 15

    This is ...

    ... a Little Gem of a story.

    0 0
  12. Code Monkey

    Keith Flint

    It's Keith Flint from the Prodigy

    1 0
  13. GettinSadda

    Ben Goldacre?

    Is it just me, or does that image appear to be Ben Goldacre (if you ignore the hair colour)?

    0 0
  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WANTED - THE CABBAGE PATCH KID

    Don't let his cute smile fool you, this guy is ruthless and will go to any lengths to obtain slug pellets.

    0 0
  15. Bilgepipe
    Joke

    Leaves

    Hopefully when they catch him he'll turn over a new leaf.

    What?

    0 0
  16. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    hmmm

    I'd better lay low for a while

    0 0
  17. mafoo
    Joke

    sub heading

    "E-Fit of suspect having recently spent long periods of time in a highly chlorinated swimming pool"

    1 0
  18. James Le Cuirot

    I was waiting...

    Haha, as soon as I saw this on TV, I was just waiting for El Reg to pick it up. Knew you wouldn't let me down.

    0 0
  19. 2FishInATank
    Flame

    Perhaps..

    Keith Flint from The Prodigy?

    Or his dad....

    Icon because apparently he is something of a fire starter....

    0 0
    1. No, I will not fix your computer
      Reply Icon
      Thumb Up

      Or...

      John Lydon?

      0 0
  20. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
    Coat

    Wrong author..

    This should have been written by John Lettice, obviously.

    The one with the salad cream stains, thanks..

    0 0
  21. rahul
    Joke

    They should be looking in the nearest...

    salad bar. Given this efit, though, he may choose to disguise himself as a meatball here onwards.

    0 0
  22. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Hey – It's the KING of the mercy f**k!

    "Why won't you let me forget that I have a CABBAGE FOR A HEAD?!?"

    1 0
  23. LinkOfHyrule

    Could also be

    Could also be a laptop screen with the colour settings messed with or maybe broken. That green may of looked grey-ish or some other colour.

    Either that or he's related to Sideshow Mel from the Simpsons.

    0 0
  24. Titus Aduxass

    Title? I don't need no stinkin' title

    Maybe he's scarpered to a Greek Island.

    Like Kos maybe...

    1 0
  25. The Indomitable Gall

    Actually...

    I think the crazy hair actually manages to distract from the imperfections in the face, making it seem (bizarrely) *more* human than it would with normal efit hair....

    0 0
  26. Johan Bastiaansen
    WTF?

    upgrade

    Perhaps the software upgrade will involve pencil and paper.

    0 0
  27. Ted Treen
    Coat

    Perhaps

    someone had put a rocket under the artist...

    0 0
  28. Dale 3

    "We would never release an e-fit a victim disagreed with"

    So the victim agreed with this picture, or they wouldn't have released it.

    Therefore it must be an accurate picture of the attacker.

    Better keep an eye out.

    0 0
  29. Real Ale is Best
    Joke

    That's Jamie Oliver, isn't it?

    http://ll-media.tmz.com/2010/03/27/0326_oliver_cost.jpg

    0 0
  30. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    It's clearly...

    Jimmy White. Whatever hair you put on him.

    0 0
  31. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Is it any

    fucking wonder the police have been experiencing an all time low in terms of crime solving, public respect etc etc.

    Hopefully the forthcoming cuts will re-energise their vigour and help off load some of the pointless waste of wages. Start with those "special" cuntstables (sic). Utter waste of money.

    0 0
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      Special PC's are worth every penny that we pay them.

      which seeing as they are volunteers working for free is not a lot. I think you meant that PCSO's are a waste of skin/ oxygen etc. Though given the woefully dim ordinary PC's that I've met maybe not.......

      0 0

  32. This post has been deleted by its author

  33. Pete 8
    Thumb Up

    It's Lenny the Lettuce,

    one of the Jasper Carrot Gang.

    0 0
  34. grumpyoldeyore
    Coat

    Rural Crime .....

    ... is sadly on the increase, and stories like this just represent the tip of the iceberg.

    1 0
  35. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Lettuce spray...

    ...that the bugs are soon eliminated.

    0 0
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