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back to article Lindsay Lohan released from screaming lesbian ordeal

Bespeckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has been released from jail after serving just 13 days of her 90-day sentence for breaching parole. According to the BBC, Lohan walked from Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California earlier today, having survived screaming lesbian gangs, malevolent screws and turkey with …

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  1. TheOtherJola
    Thumb Up

    Playmobil

    Please

    2 0
  2. envmod

    well, i'm glad she's out

    i am. very.

    1 1
  3. Jason Hall

    13 days?

    13 days of a 90 day sentence?

    Bloody hell she got off lightly.

    4 0
  4. Anonymous John

    Thirteen days?

    That's (tappity-tap) nearly 223 times longer than her previous sentence.

    Which would make her next one (tappity-tap) nearly eight years.

    2 0
  5. Avatar of They
    Thumb Down

    I draw the line Lester....

    Not at the joke judicial system that released her after 13 days

    ...but at your use of the phrase 'talented'.

    11 0
    1. Seanmon
      Reply Icon
      Heart

      Oi!

      Leave off my girl!

      1 2
      1. Andus McCoatover
        Reply Icon
        Joke

        Seanmon! Down, Shep!

        I come first...You get, well, you know....

        1 0
  6. Blofeld's Cat
    Coat

    Rehab

    So from hot turkey to cold turkey...

    It's the dirty mac.

    2 0
    1. Fluffykins Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      I'm stuck with XP here

      So it's a dirty PC.

      2 0
  7. RichardB

    Inferno?

    Not Lesbian Spank Inferno?

    4 0
    1. LuMan
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      Paris Hilton

      @RichardB

      What?? I think RichardB needs to furnish us with more information.....

      0 0
      1. Captain Save-a-ho
        Reply Icon
        Thumb Up

        More information

        Despite the reservations of some, Google is still your friend when you require input...

        The result is well worth it...one of my favorites. Thanks to RichardB for the reminder.

        1 0
    2. Annihilator
      Reply Icon
      Thumb Up

      Man invented fire to see naked bottoms

      "So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Frankly, girls, I'm not so sure how insulted you really ought to be"

      1 0
    3. Francis Boyle Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Dammit

      My favourite film that doesn't exist. Though if it did I'd really hope that it didn't feature the the talented miss Lohan.

      0 0
  8. Mr Brush
    Paris Hilton

    She did better than Paris...

    Who got out almost immediately because she didn't like it and was a bit scared FFS!

    1 0
  9. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    "turkey with apple sauce and broccoli"??

    Now that has *got* to be Cruel and Unusual Punishment!!

    1 0
  10. James Micallef Silver badge
    WTF?

    errmmmmmmm...

    no word on whether getting out after 13 days of a 90-day sentence is par for the course, or especially lenient because she's a (supposed) celebrity??

    0 0
    1. Adam Azarchs
      Reply Icon
      FAIL

      California is broke

      Thus our judicial system is broken. We couldn't raise the tax revenues to keep her locked up even if we wanted to.

      0 0
  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    According to the BBC,

    "Lohan walked from Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California earlier today, having survived screaming lesbian gangs, malevolent screws and turkey with apple sauce and broccoli."

    Really? - Are we sure this isn't a little way beyond the facts?

    Talented....hhmmm it seems the official definition of the word has been watered down somewhat.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      FAIL

      Visible sarcasm tags required...

      ...for those who fail to spot the obvious....

      meh

      1 0
    2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
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      Happy

      It *must* be true

      The got most of it off El Reg.

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  12. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Turkeys

    Will make a change from the talented actress being in one then.

    Mines is the one with the Bernard Matthews shares in the pocket.

    1 0
  13. Eddy Ito
    Flame

    Was the broccoli steamed or boiled to mush?

    Apple sauce! Those inhuman bastards! Everyone knows it's cranberry sauce that goes with turkey, the real sauce made with actual cranberries and a nice port not that canned jelly crap.

    0 0
  14. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
    Happy

    Screaming lesbian gangs?

    Pics or it didn't happen.

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    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      Re: pics

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/lohan/badly_photoshopped_pic_to_illustrate_bullshit_lesbo_gang_article.jpg

      ....or something like that.

      0 0
  15. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    BAH

    Yay, she's out! Now back to her regularly scheduled uselessness... ha

    0 0
  16. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    SEO optimized 'article'

    If ever I saw one...

    Paris cos there is no Lindsay Icon

    0 0
  17. lpopman
    Paris Hilton

    titular anomoly

    13 days seems almost right with good behaviour and that, though in the uk it would be 30.

    Oh, and if LiLo is playing Linda Lovelace then she'll have to grow a _massive_ bush for the full-frontal surely....

    /me shudders

    0 0
  18. VulcanV5
    Welcome

    Er. . . so wot?

    I've never heard of this person so have no idea if I'm missing out on some particle of information vital to the enrichment of my existence. Kudos, though, to Lester for this update: El Reg will be even more valuable if Lester can post a daily round-up of the latest news about people no-one's heard of or gives a bugger about.

    Perhaps mention might be made of Peter Dewbottle of Northampton, who has just added the 357th stamp to his album? And Mrs Nettie Sopwise from Hendon, who went to Sainsbury's this morning to do some shopping and is now safely home again.

    There. I told you it was interesting.

    PS: Is it possible to add a Nettie Sopwise posting icon? Be a damn sight more useful than that weird thing relating to a receptionist at some French hotel or other.

    0 0
    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)
      Reply Icon

      Re: Er. . . so wot?

      And yet look how much time and effort you put into posting a comment to explain how little you care about this person you've never heard of.

      You're a special kind of smartarse.

      It appears today is Kick A Commentard Tuesday for me. Anyone else want some? Alternatively, you could just stop being annoying.

      1 1
      1. Wommit
        Reply Icon
        Pint

        Re : Sarah Bee

        "you could just stop being annoying"

        WHAT!!!!!

        You want us to stop being ANNOYING!!!!!!

        I think you need a lie down girl. the heat is obviously getting to you.

        Stop being annoying indeed.

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