back to article Cotswold police stage panty ID parade

Gloucestershire Police have appealed to Cotswold residents to come forward and finger their bras and knickers after they arrested a man on suspicion of burglary and theft and uncovered a cache of mystery smalls. The unidentified man was arrested on June 27 and is on bail pending further enquiries. However, during their …

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  1. Elmer Phud

    Knicker knicker nicked!

    "They are appealing for anyone in the Bussage area "who believes their underwear could have been taken" to get in touch, so that they can establish whether the foundation garments are stolen or not."

    "I'm not sure, I'll have to check by sniffing them" said a Mrs Windowlicker through her beard.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Waste of time!

    All very amusingfor them to have their own Arnold Lane, but on serious note, what a waste of time and money!

  3. Number6

    Identity Failure

    I idly clicked on the "Bras" tag at the bottom of the article and found 25 articles, including at least one that had nothing to do with airbag restraint (I didn't look at all of them).

    I'm not even sure this article is directly relevant, otherwise the title would have made mention of an iden-titty parade. It would have been appropriate, given that it occurred in Bustage.

    1. Chris Elvidge
      FAIL

      Try the "Kickers" tag

      Subject

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This story....

    .... is a load of pants!

    Couldn't resist

  5. yoinkster
    Boffin

    DNA database to the rescue!!

    See you all reckoned the DNA database was a big pile of pants, but now the police have got err a big pile of pants to deal with they can just look for blood stains and .... yeah, I'm going for lunch before fully thinking about this plan.

  6. Flugal

    Knickers

    Wouldn't it be easier for the thief to just go to M&S, or, if "used" is required, then from the internet?

    OK, that pair of lightly soiled panties pictured with a young attractive oriental lovely might actually have been stained by her 60 year old uncle, but it spares the, (presumably ignominious?), experience of being publicly branded a knicker nicker.

    1. Allan George Dyer
      Badgers

      Look, I've got the receipts!

      Maybe that is his defence? On the other hand, is there much difference between being publicly branded a pervert who steals underwear, or a pervert who buys used underwear?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hi name's not Arnold Layne, is it?

    He had a 'strange hobby' too.

    1. PT

      Moon shine washing line

      Glad to see I'm not the only one who remembers the classics.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "a handful of bras"

    any more than a handful is a waste...

  9. The_Police!
    Coat

    Lingerie expert?

    Looks like I have just found myself a new job!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Risk to the public

    "come forward and finger their bras and knickers "

    do that in front of a copper and you'd probably get arrested.

  11. Anonymous John

    "some 15-20 unidentified pairs of knickers"

    "1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-

    Cor! I'd like to see my bird wearing those!

    Where was I?

    1-2-3-4-"

  12. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Knicker

    nicker

    nicked.

    Stocking

    up on bras,

    gets suspendered sentence

    (sorry)

  13. Graham Bartlett
    Joke

    So the policeman who arrested this guy...

    ... would be the knicker-nicker nicker?

    1. lpopman
      Coffee/keyboard

      titular thing

      who managed, in the nick-er time, to "nip" it in the bud?

  14. Daniel Evans

    Uhm...

    "Here, some wierdo stole your underwear, but we found it and you can have it back now!"

    Am I the only one who would say "No thanks..."?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Indeed

      I think for any of former owners to want them back they would have to be kinkier than the thief.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    how many

    bras is a handful, does it depend on size?

  16. James Pickett
    Coat

    Distracted

    "a handful of bras"

    Aren't they confusing the garments with the contents?

  17. Giddy Kipper
    Thumb Up

    ...residents to come forward and finger their bras and knickers

    *headdesk*

    That is all.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    "and a handful of bras"

    Oh that generated images that were oh so... male. :)

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Identity Parade?

    I rather fancy that there might be more takers for this identity parade if it involved having real-life models sporting the goods, and with males coming forward to represent their partners.....

    Paris because I'd like to claim her undies.

  20. Britt Johnston
    Headmaster

    knickers collectivity

    Do knickers always come in pairs? - like drawers in chests?

    1. Adrian Esdaile
      Headmaster

      The correct term is...

      "SNOWDROPPING" as in (n) Snowdropper, (adj)snowdropping, snowdropped,

      FACT. Look it up in the Australian MacQuarie Dictionary.

      Oh, we don't have teh interwabs down 'ere; it's full of commies, heathens, kiddie fiddlers and, aherm, snowdroppers.

      Carry on.

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