back to article Lindsay Lohan goes down for 90 days

Bespeckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days' jail for repeatedly violating her 2007 probation for two drink driving raps. The "stunned" actress turned on the waterworks as Beverly Hills Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel slapped her with some proper hard time. In 2007, Lohan served a gruelling 84 minutes …

COMMENTS

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  1. Alan B
    Happy

    Oh dear, poor woman.

    It's a pity she wasn't given a proper prison sentence the first time around. Anyone who drives under the influence of drink (or drugs) should be locked up for a year for the first offence, and at least three years and a lifetime driving ban for a second offence.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      On the plus side

      one more time and its the third strike. no ?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "stunned"

    I was shocked, SHOCKED to discover that the law applies to me.

    1. C Yates
      Thumb Up

      LOL!

      Slightly reminiscent of the way in which the politicians reacted during the expenses scandal - well said ^_^

  3. Jon Green
    IT Angle

    The icon...

    ...says it all, really.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: The icon...

      You should go to prison forever for that. Why Oh Why do people always ask what the IT angle is in goddamn Bootnotes, the non-IT section of the site? I may have to kill you. Where's my tea, dammit?

      1. Benedict
        Troll

        title

        Sarah, are you sure you're not just getting trolled?

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: title

          Yes. Ta.

          1. Jon Green
            Coat

            Bzzzt...

            ...wrong answer!

      2. Marc Lawrence
        Go

        IT as in an 'IT girl'

        IT Angle? Not necessary; its fun bootnotes. I thought the OP referring to 'it' (IT) people like SParis (Spare Us) Hilton? And other IT socialites?

        Perhaps we need a Socially Homogenised IT person icon? (because lets face it, most of the so called social IT people are homogeneously terrible).

      3. Anonymous John

        Re Re: The icon.

        Why not remove the icon? And replace it with a Playmobil one.

      4. Stuart Elliott

        Bootnotes

        Is there a way of disabling Bootnotes (or other sections if necessary) from appearing in the list of stuff shown?

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge
          Flame

          No, but we do have a way of disabling commentards

          Especially the ones who, after ten effing years of Bootnotes, insist on clicking on headlines with little evident IT interest, then whining like children because the content doesn't meet their particular standards.

          For the record, it's a big red kill button (marked "ODFO") which appears in the El Reg comments moderation interface. Once pressed, it asks: "Do you really want to cast this tiresome, sanctimonious little prick into the fires of hell?"

          If you respond "yes", a virtual console appears with two touchscreen thumb print readers. Two authorised individuals must present their biometric credentials simultaneously, after which the offending commentard is banished from Vulture Central and removed from our Xmas card list.

          The confirmation screen advises: "Commentard terminated. Return to moderation or pour stiff drink?"

          1. Anonymous Coward
            WTF?

            Nice!

            I'm just glad to see Mr. Haines' takes greater care writing his rants than his articles.

            1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge
              FAIL

              Hmmm...

              "I'm just glad to see Mr. Haines' takes greater care writing his rants than his articles."

              Rogue apostrophe there - my finger is hovering over the ODFO button as we speak...

              1. Annihilator
                Thumb Up

                "disabling commentards"

                I got very very scared and wondered just what this "disablement" consisted of. Banishment seems ok, compared with some of the "snooker ball in sock" treatments I envisioned..

                But carry on. I would even go so far as to replacing the "stop" icon with an "odfo" equivalent for us mere mortals to enjoy.

                PS - removing the "where's the IT angle" icon wouldn't even slightly deter these commentards, I'd imagine.

          2. styx-tdo
            Coat

            arrrrrrrgggg

            my christmas card seems to be missing....

            1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

              Re: arrrrrrrgggg

              My drink seems to be missing.

          3. Darryl
            Pint

            Return to moderation or pour stiff drink?

            Shouldn't that read "Return to moderation AND pour stiff drink?"

          4. Stuart Elliott
            Black Helicopters

            Wow, emo much?

            All I asked was if there was a way of not showing Bootnotes in the main list, I thought it was a reasonable request, no need to go all wrist slashing, emo teenager like.

            Geeze, you need to switch to decaf matey.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          If "list of stuff" refers to an RSS feed or something, please stop reading now.

          Yes, it's called "reading". I know the text is slightly smaller, but it is directly above the heading you've just read. I'm assuming you're clicking on article headings as your brain parses them, as opposed to some sort of random link mashing process.

          1. Stuart Elliott
            Troll

            RSS and stuff

            Well, I do have Reg as a RSS in the Firefox toolbar, but no, that wasn't where I meant, I meant when I go to El'Reg homepage, have a customisable selection of what I want to see more of, shown, and what I couldn't give a flying fart about not shown.

            It's not unreasonable, it's not a purposeful slight on the obviously delicate frame of minded contributors, just a personal preference, no need for all the OTT fanboi ninja routine.

      5. max allan

        Remember your mini rant?

        I seem to recall a few days back you asking us not to draw ridiculous comparisons between mildly annoying IT incidents and real life horrific events (Apple and Nazis I think were mentioned).

        So now you're proposing lifetime prison for asking questions... Pot / kettle, glass houses / stones etc...

        Also : Threatening murder could well get you investigated by Cheshire police (or whoever thought a slightly jokey tweet was an actual terrorist threat against an airport and fined that poor idiot)

        Don't encourage us! Or, live with the consequences.

      6. Basic
        Go

        Sounds like

        You could do with some vodka in that tea :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The ankle bracelet?

      That's pretty technological if you ask me. Maybe it's got an IP address so we can all watch her alcohol levels on a website?

    3. Trevor_Pott Gold badge
      IT Angle

      Crap.

      This is what I get for actually working. I miss out on the good threads.

      While the ability to show/hide individual sections/authors etc would be a cool feature, you can also use the alternate method: don't use the front page of the site. Use the individual sections. Or set up different RSS feeds per section, rather than using the global RSS feed. Then you just don't add bootnotes.

      In the meantime, I’d not anger the lady Bee. Between her and Lester there’s two thumbs available for commenttard termi*kzert*

  4. Annihilator
    Heart

    Yay el Reg

    I saw this briefly in the Metro this morning and refused to read it as it wouldn't compare to the brilliant journalism that would be applied by you guys. I've refused to read anything else this morning.

    Should point out that she hasn't broken her 84 minutes record yet though - she could well be let go after 20 minutes again!

  5. Anonymous John
    Happy

    Even more details

    at http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    HaHa!

    That is all.

  7. karl 15
    Happy

    Made me smile

    I love a happy ending

  8. h4rm0ny
    Stop

    Ignoring the Daily Mail Celebrity Gossip angle...

    ... They fit monitoring tags to your ankles in the US that check for drinking? Fucking Hell!

    Stop - because the US gets scarier everyday and the UK gov. always follows.

    1. Oliver Mayes

      Uh...

      The Uk gubbermint already puts electronic tags on certain offenders to monitor their location remotely. These anklets do the same thing but record the level of alcohol in the wearers skin and sweat.

      1. Lionel Baden

        tin foil ftw

        see title deduct yourself !

    2. MinionZero
      Big Brother

      @"monitoring tags" ... "that check for drinking"

      Yeah that one shocked me when I first heard about it only a few weeks ago. Its called SCRAM (Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitoring). It works by "estimates the blood alcohol content of the wearer by measuring the ethanol concentration of their perspiration" ... when I first heard about it I was like, WTF?! ... so its location tracking and Alcohol Monitoring.

      Its shocking how far Big Brother technology is going and we don't even get to hear about some of it until its a high profile case (and I'm interested in technology so I look out for new technology) so it makes me wonder how many non-technical people are failing to see even just a small fraction of what is increasingly happening.

      Its getting very Orwellian.

      Plus stopping people drinking is failing to stop *why* they drink (and people like Lohan don't just drink for fun, its to stop herself thinking about things she doesn't want to think about). When people are this badly messed up by their troubling thoughts, they need serious professional help otherwise they will end up killing themselves with drink. So all this Orwellian crap is just so wrong, plus it won't stop her seeking out drugs to do the same effect and then they will bring out even more Orwellian bio monitoring technology to catch drugs etc... and still its failing to actually help the person. (Unfortunately the people like her often don't help themselves as they try to stay away from help as they try to stay away from thinking about what they don't want to think about). So sadly their behaviour is a vicious circle.

      Here's the link:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuous_transdermal_alcohol_monitoring

      1. Anonymous Coward
        WTF?

        You forgot one thing

        What happens if, as is wont to happen 'round here, some bastard spills his beer down your leg and into your shoes while trying to limbo under your chair? [0] Will you automagically be transferred to prison for externally applied ethanol...?

        0: Yeah, it's a kinda weird 'hood...

      2. JohnG

        Booze tagging

        She did not have to wear that booze anklet - she could have just gone straight to jail - she had that choice.

        About professional help: maybe that's why the court wanted her to attend alcohol education classes. Now the court are really helping her because she will be attending those classes in jail, without the distractions of well paid work, film festivals and the like.

      3. lglethal Silver badge
        Thumb Down

        @ Minion Zero

        She was ordered to undergo councilling and attend AA meetings. She basically didnt do that by missing 9 appointments in 6 months. That is why she is going to jail...

        She was let off when a large number of normal people woudl have been imprisoned. She was ordered to stop drinking and to go and talk to the people that can help her with her other issues. She didnt.

        So right now, my sympathy levels for her are at about the same as her blood alcohol levels will be for the next 90 days...

      4. Ian Michael Gumby
        Boffin

        Its getting very Orwellian. ... NOT!

        Its cheaper to employ a SCRAM than it is to incarcerate an individual. It also allows the courts to put a step in place between a first warning and a more severe jail time.

        The point of the monitor is to give the individual a chance to show that they are capable of reform prior to heading to jail/prison.

        This isn't Orwellian, but that our government is looking for a cheaper solution to a problem. You can refuse the SCRAM, but the alternative is jail time. What would you do?

        1. david wilson

          Reform?

          >>"The point of the monitor is to give the individual a chance to show that they are capable of reform prior to heading to jail/prison.

          But she wasn't convicted of being drunk and incapable, or drunk and disorderly, but of driving while under the influence.

          The difference between her and most law-abiding citizens is not that she drank, but that she decided to drive after she had drunk. That seems to be the thing that most needs changing.

          Is the abstinence from alcohol supposed to be treatment, or part of the punishment, or what?

          Unless someone is going to be ordered to be abstinent for life, isn't it a bit hypocritical of them to go to AA meetings when it's highly likely that their abstinence is temporary, and not their own choice?

          "Hi, I'm Lindsay, and it will be 6 months and 2 days until I have my next drink."

  9. Sir Runcible Spoon
    Troll

    Sir

    About time these celebrities paid for their crimes like the rest of us would have to.

    Now, about that numpty Pete Doherty...

  10. BritPad
    Happy

    If the name fits

    Can we now refer to her as the

    "Besheckled thespiatrix ...."

    1. Jerome 2
      Go

      That would imply...

      ... that she's got a lot of money. Which she probably has. Carry on!

      1. BritPad
        FAIL

        Arrgh !!

        Sorry the news shocked me so much I contracted irritable vowel syndrome - should have read

        Beshackled........

  11. Doug Glass
    Paris Hilton

    "Biting The Hand That Feeds IT"

    Yep, this story fits right in with the mantra of "The Register". Oh I forgot, LL is wearing a techy device so I guess IT qualifies her as fodder for this site. Works for me.

    If you're going to be dumb, you better be tough. She'll serve three weeks if that much and she'll be segregated from other inmates. What a piece of work.

    Pasis because even she knows to stay away from LL. Or at least out of sight.

    1. Greg J Preece

      Paris is no better

      Remember how they pathetically pampered that one instead of sending her ass to jail? I do:

      http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/runparisover/

  12. Graham Bartlett

    Nice

    Not that I particularly care about LL. But a reality check is long overdue for most celebs. Worth learning that "I was trying to do what you asked" doesn't cut it with the law - you either do it or you don't, and if you don't then you'd better clear your calendar for a bit.

    1. Wommit
      Pint

      Re : Nice

      Do or do not, there is no try.

      Yogie somebody or other

  13. Maliciously Crafted Packet

    That right lets lock up Lindsay...

    like her crimes are really serious!

    Unlike those of the poor misunderstood corrupt Wall St and City bankers that shafted the economy. They are the main reason why kids wont be getting that new school building, your hospital wont be getting that much needed MRI scanner and sqaddies in Afghanistan wont be getting the kit they desperately need.

    But thats OK because they have locked up Lindsay which makes me feel much better. Isn't it great to see justice in action.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Your comparing apples and oranges there champ...

      Whilst i agree that bankers should be sent to porridge (with perhaps a few drawn and quartered for educational (and entertainment) purposes), saying that she didnt deserve to go to Jail is bollocks.

      She drove under the influence not onced but twice! She put the lives of a lot of other people at severe risk. Hell the first time she was so drunk or high she drove into a hedge! She deserved a pinstriped jump suit the first time but she was given a suspended sentence with a whole bunch of rules to follow. She's broken those rules so now she goes to the big house. Justice for her crimes is served.

      Just because someone else committed a different crime doesnt make her crime any better.

    2. Velv
      Grenade

      Compare Apples and Spam

      The two crimes are soooooo far apart. Most parents would tell you that a child is priceless if under threat from a DUI driver.

      And while there are bankers who have some responsibility for the cash, let's not forget that £750BN of the £950BN UK defecit has been caused by the mismangement by the Labour administration.

  14. Bah Humbug

    The title is required,...

    Watched this on the bbc news website this morning - it was in the 'Entertainment' section, which I thought was quite apt. Sure entertained me, anyway.

  15. JaitcH
    Thumb Down

    Can you explain even the most tenuous link this has too IT?

    Who really cares about an overpaid Hollywood air-head?

    It appears The Reg is pandering to the lowest common denominators, unless you consider the digital drunk monitor to warrant this piece.

    Even Jobs lies are more pertinent and interesting, inasmuch he can doublespeak about the iCrap4.

    1. Mat
      FAIL

      It's in BOOTNOTES

      You moron!

      No-one asked you to read it! - Here's a refund

      $0

      1. Oliver 7
        Happy

        Booya!

        Love it.

    2. CatNinja
      Flame

      Can you explain why you clicked on the link ....

      ... and then waste more time complaining to a load of people who will tell you, you are a moron.

      Bootnotes have never required even a tenuous IT link and that is its point.

      Obviously if you like people questioning your cognitive ability then go ahead and do this as often as possible as there are more than enough of us who understand the principle of having a bit of a laugh to point out you ignorance every time you decide to display it.

    3. anarchic-teapot

      Proof positive

      that trolls can't spell.

      Sarah, Lester, can we have a 'Dawn Take You And Be Stone To You' icon ?

      I'll get the next round if you do.

  16. Subtilior

    Actress Prison?

    I aspect she'll go to some glamorous prison like in that Lady Gaga Telephone documentary.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Actress Prisons

      Yeah. I don't know what all the fuss is about. I've seen lots of documentaries about women prisons. They're nice places. The inmates and guards are always very, very friendly. They spend a lot of time washing each other in the showers and preventing the spread of heterosexual behaviour. I think Lindsay Lohan will like it there. She'll fit in nicely.

      1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: Actress Prisons

        It's another day of enlightenment and tolerance down on the Reg commentfarm!

  17. envmod
    Heart

    stupid sentence

    she's a young girl with a shit load of cash and fame - why the fuck is anyone surprised she drinks and does drugs?? i really don't think it's an issue - a large amount of young people in the UK do an awful lot worse than her every weekend and don't get fucking sent down for it. OK DUI is pretty serious and I don't condone it, but sending the poor girl to jail isn't going to help anything.... jesus. I think she just needs to move to a more liberal, less reactionary place and lead a "normal" life for a bit.... whenever I have seen Lilo she comes across as a pretty normal person with no more "problems" or substance issues than anyone else her age.

    LEAVE LINDSAY ALO-OOO-OOO-NE!!!

    *bursts into tears*

    1. JohnG

      ODFO!

      She got caught twice - and got off lightly both times ....but with conditions. She has chosen to break those conditions and has found out that being pretty, rich and famous is not always enough to get away with continually taking the piss out of the authorities. A short stay in the big house seems just the right thing to make clear that the law also applies to her.

  18. Jimbo 6
    Coat

    Please....

    ...can we avoid having the phrases "Lindsay Lohan" and "repeatedly violating" used in the same sentence ? It distracts me from my day-job.

    Mine's the one with the court- issued restraining order in the pocket.

  19. Seanmon
    Heart

    REVOLUTION!

    The imposter Paris must be deposed! Queen Lindsay demands her rightful place in the annals of reg-istory.

    Our day will come, fellow Lohanites, our day will come.

  20. 300 words

    full circle

    Sweet victory to a nation watching in self disbelief at the Lilo can do almost do anything adventure. At least Lilo can finally rest in peace in the acknowledgement that she wasn’ t really immortal in the first place even if the coco pops she liked to play with made her think otherwise.

    How ironic that the public can now sigh in relief that there is a justice, despite the injustice of ever having held the 23 year old girl to loftier expectations that she was ever capable of in the first place.

    scallywagandvagabond.com/2010/07/lilo-is-sentenced-90-days-in-the-slammer/

  21. Graham Bartlett

    @envmod

    LiLo. Nicely appropriate nickname for an inflated windbag whose purpose is to lie in comfort.

    For the record, I think most of us don't care if she gets wasted every night. But the moment she gets behind a wheel in that state, she needs locking up. Drunk driving is not a victimless crime - it's a major cause of injuries and deaths on the roads (16% of all road deaths in the UK, according to Wikipedia), and it's certainly the cause which is easiest to avoid. She's been given several chances, and has pissed all of them away. It's time to find out that when a judge says "this is your last chance", they tend to mean it. Maybe she's gone all her life thinking that there'd always be another "last chance" because mummy and daddy never had proper boundaries - but judges tend to have no such problems in sticking to their word.

    1. Jim Morrow
      FAIL

      (untitled)

      >> Drunk driving is not a victimless crime - it's a major cause of injuries and deaths on the roads (16% of all road deaths in the UK, according to Wikipedia), and it's certainly the cause which is easiest to avoid.

      eh? how the fuck can anyone in blighty be at risk of injury from a drunk/stoned driver in america?

      ms lohan has many talents. however it's unlikely she has the ability to take out a bunch of pensioners at a swindon bus stop while she's off her face driving down rodeo drive. [which must be a euphemism for something.]

  22. min
    Pint

    is she allowed conjugal visits while she betters her sub feature film length incarceration record?

    i am certain someone could fine himself/herself/themselves smuggling a charger full of jager for her before the action commences...

    1. Marcus Aurelius
      Paris Hilton

      I vote

      For a fly on the wall documentary of Lilos hard time...

  23. David McMahon
    Jobs Horns

    Hands Sara...

    A lovely cup of tea and promises to go along with everything the reg says, and will even clean the cuppa with his tongue! I wonder if the cup will have a little of Sara's Lipstick on it?

    There is a IT angle on this, after all we are reading this online are we not? :)

    Also without IT it would take longer for this story to come out, pictures would have to be sent via the post etc etc.

    I wonder if there is an app so you can do time?? To think maybe you would have to stare at it for 90 Days??? Maybe it could give you a shock if you took your eyes away?

    That way Lindsey could be a real bad apple! :)

  24. John Sturdy

    Transdermal exudation of alcohol?

    Now that's what I call a soak.

  25. kain preacher

    90 days

    She will do the full 90. She violated parole, no early time for that. She is doing under a year so thats county jail. No nice segregated jails for her , plus far as I'm aware the cushy prisons were only built for men in the America.

    1. Sabine Miehlbradt
      Paris Hilton

      Nope

      I heard an interview with the sherrif this afternoon. She'll be out after 23days (25% time) if she behaves well.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    "goes down for 90 days"

    I think the term is "sent up" for 90 days. Going down is entirely different.

    1. Marcus Aurelius
      Headmaster

      Sent down

      Is often used to describe being sent to the court cells after a prison/remand sentence has been given.The cells are, strangely enough, often underneath the courts

      This was a public broadcast on behalf of ensuring IT peeps are edumaculated properly, innit?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IT angles

    I must say that I enjoy many of The Register's non-IT stories, and would never think of asking for the IT angle on many such (Australians and airguns, say).

    However, I do find it odd that the pretty and vacuous seem much more likely to get written up if female. Have all the men in Hollywood quit driving drunk or carrying controlled substances? Has Lindsey Lohan ever committed follies that stand comparison with those of the pretty-boy politicians John Edwards or Mark Sanford? Is Paris Hilton really weirder than Rod Blagoyevich?

    I'm not asking you to be equal-opportunity scourges, but the ratio as I perceive it does hint of misogyny.

  28. TkH11

    it's her fault

    I have no sympathy for her. It was made very clear to her what the terms of her probabtion was.

    She knew if she broke those terms she could and almost certainly would be sent to prison.

    It was her choice to break those terms, and she did so knowing the consequences.

    What did she expect or hope for? Did she think that because of her celebrity status that she could talk the judge out of the punishment? I suppose getting away with it before led her to believe she was above the law, and that she felt that a good enough lawyer would get her off again.

    The law has to be applied equally to everyone.

  29. TkH11

    SCRAM

    I'm quite hot on privacy issues but I have no problem with SCRAM so long as it is applied to convicted drunk drivers only. It actually helps them, and it helps society by preventing deaths by dangerous driving.

    What I would most definitely object to is the imposition of SCRAM to innocent people, that would then be Orwellian.

  30. Joe User
    Happy

    On the bright side

    Lindsay won't be causing any traffic accidents for the next 90 days. And she might stay moderately sober.

  31. tom 24
    FAIL

    Important little life lessons.

    Don't mess with the judge! I thought everybody knew that. The worst thing you can do is be in contempt of court. And when push comes to shove, the judge *is* the court. He *will* take it personal.

  32. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

    Blimey

    She's looking pretty rough for 24.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Happy

      @Sorry that handle is already taken

      "She's looking pretty rough for 24."

      I think the word your looking for is "Gingery." *

      yes I know my chances of getting this one past the moderatrix are slim but it's worth a shot.

  33. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    drink + drugs + fast cars -> trouble.

    Whereas drink + drugs (in own or friends home) = who gives a s@$t.

    I'm sure Ms Lohan will use her time constructively to make many new friends, no doubt some of whom have felt her to be quite a role model for their lifestyle.

This topic is closed for new posts.