back to article 2012 Olympic mascots cop a shoeing

The London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games (Locog) had better run for cover and batten down the hatches - if intial reaction to its official 2012 mascots is anything to go by. The 2012 Olympics logo Following the Lisa Simpson blowjob logo debacle, and subsequent epilepsy-inducing animated footage scandal, Locog was …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least they are consistent with the logo

    Stubby, floppy, one-eyed trouser snakes seem quite appropriate to the 2012 endeavour.

    I suspect they were modelled on objects growing out of the designers' heads.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: At least they are consistent with the logo

      From the side one of them strongly look as if it's been modelled on Sonic Hedgehog.

      1. Steven Raith
        FAIL

        Sonic the hedgehog...?

        Perhaps mixed with the "1" binomes from Reboot.

        Remember Reboot, kids? Google it.

        Wonder how much it cost them to come up with that pish then?

        Steven R

        1. Greg J Preece

          Hey, they DO look like binomes!

          You're not wrong.

          Man, ReBoot was awesome. That's why I "acquired" every episode. ;-)

          1. Steven Raith
            Happy

            Hurrah!

            It's not just me then!

            I await the copyright lawsuit with baited breath!

            Steven R

  2. Stefing
    Coat

    Actually

    I think these mascots are the best thing about the Olympics so far.

    Which says a lot.

  3. Wizzy
    Happy

    A pair of one-eyed monsters

    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/the-mascot-nightmares-begin-201005202749/

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    (already ducking)

    Then again, he adds "This is one of the most advanced nations on earth", which, just maybe, is enough to disqualify whatever judgement he would be willing to impart on just about anything at all, right?

    With love, from Paris (as in France)...

    1. Jolyon

      Canard

      Whine made from sour grapes?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Pilloried

    I couldn't have put it better than the Daily Mash who nailed them quite succinctly with the following quotation:

    "The names sound like a pair of prostitute-murdering opium addicts from the 1880s and they look like the Tellytubbies' abusive uncles."

    Better still is the CCTV-themed pillory currently adorning the b3ta.com front page.

  6. Wheaty73
    WTF?

    Kang & Kodos?

    At least they are continuing the Simpsons theme...

  7. Eponymous Cowherd
    Joke

    Mandeville?

    Sounds like the bastard offspring of Peter Mandelson and Cruella DeVille.

    1. Kay Burley ate my hamster
      Thumb Up

      You!

      You read my mind!!

  8. Daniel 1

    Hereby rechristened...

    "Hemlock and Mandleson" - the one being famous as the means by which one of the worlds great philosophers was killed for speaking his mind, and the other being memorable as a type of poison for which there appears to be no antidote.

  9. Baggypants

    I Like 'em. My boy will like 'em

    Even though Bolton is cotton town not a steel town and that Olympic girder is obviously a pipe.

    1. madferret

      ahem

      Bolton may be a cotton town, but the steel for the stadium is from Watson Steel in Horwich. Hence the link with the mascots.

      http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/1970386.watson_steel_helping_create_olympic_stadium/

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Are they that bad?

    These things are always shit. I'm not sure these are any shitter.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Everyone expected one eye for 2012 ZION

    Messi ad Dajjal has one eye, but Allah has two eyes (like Adam).

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ugh... but I imagined it would be worse

    The theme is consistent - they've played the "yoof" card all along and the stupid grafitti logo lent itself to these... mascots. Before they were unveiled, I was thinking we would get a Poochy the Dog from the Simpsons. At least they're not as bad as that.

    Overall: meh. But has anyone ever liked any mascot post- age 8?

    At least we have the Olympics, though. Really.

  13. Paul Woodhouse

    All aboard the fail train...

    WOOO WOOO

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    How appropriate

    London's mascot represents two walking CCTV's...

    Remember citizen, big brother is always watching you...

  15. /\/\j17
    Thumb Up

    Actually...

    ...I don't think these are half bad.

    OK, a plush version of Goatsy or Santa being buggered by Rudolph would have been better that the 2012 logo but as Olympic mascots go it's probably one of the better ones.

    Take a look at someone's idea of "The Top 10 Coolest Olympic Mascots" - http://inventorspot.com/articles/the_top_10_coolest_olympic_mascots_16307

    I for one would take Statler and Waldorf, or whatever their names are over Waldi, the 1972 Munich mascot (#6).

  16. Matthew Smith

    The eyes! The eyes!

    I think they look OK, and more imaginative than some Disneyfield fluffy animal mascot. But having a giant camera inside their heads? Thats the sort of really sinister thinking that should have been left in Beijing.

  17. Saopaulo101
    FAIL

    stupidity personified

    these two things are ridiculous, give any 5 year old a box of crayons and he/she would have come up with a way better mascot and it wouldn't have cost the taxpayer a riduclous sum of money. the designers must be laughing all the way to they bank.

    if this is any indication of how the actual games are going to be the olympics will show the world how detached Britain has become.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    One eye and a massive vagina!

    Good use of our cash then.

    1. some vaguely opinionated bloke
      Joke

      It worked for Labour...

      That is all.

  19. Jimmy Floyd
    Flame

    Right. Fuck off. So there.

    Seriously, fuck off, the lot of you. This British obsession with deriding itself ad infinitum is becoming as tedious as hell. Yes, the logo is dreadful. Absolutely dire. But these, simply, are not. They're imaginative and different, and most importantly kids love them (for it is children who will be buying the merchandise).

    The logo made it easy to bash the games. If they'd had a better design for that, these mascots would have gotten nowhere near the grief they're getting now. What did you want? A lion? Possibly named 'Leo'? Maybe a Trafalgar Square pigeon shitting on everyone? Show some imagination.

    Grow up, support your games, or refer to my original instruction. Pick one.

    1. nibs
      Thumb Up

      totally agree !!!

      my lad will definately love these... They look like the crappy "gogo" pieces of plastic that him and all his mates seem to love - personally i can't see the point of them !!

      1. TheRobster

        Agreed

        That's exactly what I thought they looked like. Both my son and my daughter love gogo's - personally, I don't "get it", but what the hell, they go seem to get it, and they enjoy playing with them.

        To all the "grown up's" (inverted comma's intentional) who are saying this is crap, well welcome to the world of adulthood. These aren't for you, they are for kids. They are not designed to be understood by you, they are designed to be understood by kids. Your parents warned you this would happen to you as you got older, and now it has.

        Kids will love these things, that's the bottom line. Adults will probably hate them, or at least not get why their kids love them, or just not understand if they don't have kids but, frankly, no-one really cares about your opinion of the mascots. They are for the kids, end of.

        PS: I bet all these whingers are the same people who push kids out of the way at Disney Land so they can be first to hug Mickey Mouse.

      2. Charlie Clark Silver badge
        FAIL

        What children really draw

        Check out

        http://www.drawergeeks.com/Kid_Creatures/Kid_Creatures.html

        By all means let some kids draw pigeons, Nelson, the lions, Eastenders cast, etc. and let an artist get to work on the results. Story? The story is the games which shouldn't be about merchandising. These things should be souvenirs for those who go to the games but I can feel a massive turd of a CBeebies series based on these failed bollocks.

    2. Ian Davies
      Thumb Up

      Oh, see...

      "Maybe a Trafalgar Square pigeon shitting on everyone? "

      You nailed it right there...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Trafalgar Square pigeon

        The pigeon would bear the colours of those representatives of the Britards who decided that the Olympic circus/lockdown would take place in London in 2012, wasting tons of taxpayer cash on the IOC gravy train. Maybe the games will make that money back - I wonder if the Greeks made any money on it - or maybe what the country needs is real inspiring stuff that achieves something, not some back-slapping "celebration" where everyone is wondering the whole time whether everyone involved is taking performance-enhancing pharmaceuticals.

    3. Geoff Campbell Silver badge
      Flame

      Hang on just a damn minute....

      Jimmy, when did it become compulsory to support the Olympic Games?

      They are a bloated parody of the original idea, designed by committee to ensure a constant flow of funds from gullible, self-important politicians the world over. And on that basis, they succeed admirably.

      As a symbol of hope where all nations come together in a spirit of cheerful, friendly competition, they are a massive, over-hyped, irritating, dumbed-down FAIL. I for one feel only sympathy for the poor athletes who deserve better after all their efforts.

      Still, that's just my opinion. Oh, and the mascots are shite, too, but as someone already said earlier, no more so than we should have expected.

      GJC

    4. Greg J Preece

      Dear Jimmy, your post has been reported...

      ...to Speak You're Branes.

  20. Murphy's Lawyer
    Gates Horns

    Now that's original

    Geek opinion on the Intertubes is divided as to whether the designers were "inspired" by the Binomes from the CGI TV show "ReBoot", or the Dingbots from Phil and Kaja Foglio's web-comic "Girl Genius".

    I have a small bet that at some point either Mainframe (who produced the show) or the Foglios will be sued by the Olympic committee for retroactive plagiarism.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Committee?

    Oh my gosh, they are shit aren't they? They look far more like the product of a committee rather than children to my amateur eye. Would it be too late to change them now? Something like the Sydney mascot perhaps:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatso_the_Fat-Arsed_Wombat

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Embarrassing!

    I'm glad I'm not British: that's just embarrassing.

    I really hope they're just getting all the problems out of the system before the actual games kick off and everything about the actual sport goes like clockwork

    1. /\/\j17

      @AC

      So you're not British, where ARE you from and let's have a look at YOUR countries last Olympic mascot...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Joke

        @MJ17

        North Korea. And your point is?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Odd...

    ..I just see a couple of wierd looking bottle openers...must get new glasses...

  24. Robert Ramsay
    WTF?

    Obviously stolen from World of Warcraft...

    http://www.spinksville.com/

  25. Chris 2
    Thumb Up

    Well, I like 'em.

    The logo's still shit, but these are a lot better than I thought they would be. Far better than yet another fluffy fucking lion in a running kit or whatever that prick in the Torygraph would have preferred.

    I like the names too. Event mascots that sound like bit-parters from the League of Extraordinary Gentleman are long overdue. They also have a good connection to the UK's Olympic/Paralympic past (Much Wenlock games, Stoke Mandeville).

    Nice.

  26. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    @Murphy's Lawyer

    Nope, no way they're as cool as dingbots. Something a dingbot might take to pieces, perhaps? With extreme prejudice?

  27. sandman

    Critical Criticism

    Can I have Stephen Bayley's job? I can disapprove of everything on demand for good money. Here's a quote from his Wikipedia entry: "He is also still so bitter about being dropped by the New Millennium Experience Company, that he is rolled out by the right wing press everytime they want to slag off a public project".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      So it is

      Been there a day already and nobody could be bothered to revert the entry - must be true.

  28. M7S
    Joke

    Um, given the new laws on cartoon porn

    If the one on the right is blue skinned, I find its clothing choice (reverse mankini?) rather questionable.

  29. Andrew_F

    They were always going to be hated

    and they're *aimed* at children. Look at previous mascots and tell me they don't mostly look like teddy bears.

    I don't think they're too bad, apart from the blue one looks like it's wet itself.

  30. Gary F
    Unhappy

    Totally gormless

    You can tell these were designed by a committee. Lifeless, unlovable, over calculated and completely forgettable.

    And how much money did this cr*p cost us exactly?

  31. Wind Farmer

    Tat

    The type of tat that is soon to be transformed into shiny foil/plastic inflatable balloons in some East Asian sweatshop, ready for inflation and the relief of obscene amounts of parents' cash to satisfy the whiny desires of young visitors - well, until they let them float of into the path of a passing aircraft. Ashcloud permitting (of course).

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    They represent modern kids...

    Big-heads, square-eyes, no necks or shoulders, wide & round in the middle and with the athletisism and personality of a wet sponge.

  33. Andrew Penfold
    Coat

    think of the children...

    Not only are they one-eyed snakes, but they're wearing "shag-bands" too, what a bad influence!

  34. Nick Ryan Silver badge
    FAIL

    What?

    I'm still amazed (shouldn't be really), just how much pointless cash they've already spunked up against the wall for these olympics. All in the name of the greased-palms and committees of course.

    The millions wasted on the logo when they could have just used this one instead: http://blog.case.edu/james.chang/2007/06/07/favorite_2012_logo.jpg is just staggering (IMHO it's definitely the best alternative produced)

    And now some naff rendered characters that appear to have no charm or personality at all? I hope they transfer better when animated because at the moment all I see is 1980s quality raytraced images... all they need is a black and white checked tile floor and the look will be complete.

    1. Mart 2
      Thumb Up

      brilliant

      That logo is much better, it's simple yet also clever

  35. Brutus
    Linux

    Not that bad

    Could have been much worse. And can we please stop channeling the daily mail frothers, too.

    By far the more interesting thing to note is that the london2012.com website store accepts Visa ONLY ! (And cheques, whatever they are)

    1. Mark Aggleton
      Thumb Down

      Cheques

      are what I pay the window cleaner with.

  36. signpost

    They're sinking !

    Is it just me, or do they look like they're sinking ?

    Surely there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

  37. Tom Cook
    Thumb Down

    Kang & Kodos?

    Is that you? NLRA on high alert...

  38. nichomach
    Grenade

    FFS

    Criticising these for "infantilism" when their stated aim was:

    ""We've created our mascots for children. They will connect young people with sport, and tell the story of our proud Olympic and Paralympic history.""

    Is a bit fucking rich (but, well, the Telegraph ARE aren't they?).

    Here, have a pineapple, you miserable git.

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bill Drummond argued

    That art ceases to become art the minute it is commissioned by councils/government, because it has to be modified to fit in with whatever agenda it is supposed to be supporting.

    I'm starting to see where he's coming from.

    Burning a million quid would probably be cheaper too.

  40. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Wanky and Manky

    "They're for kids; you just don't get it", will, I'm sure, be the standard retort to the detractors, however proof of the pudding will be in whether they make millions of quid in sales and licensing revenue.

    They're not getting any of my money.

    As to the, "British obsession with deriding itself ad infinitum" ... If only that were an Olympic sport we'd be guaranteed a gold, silver and bronze straight flush. We're well practised in it, and have good reason to be.

  41. Lateral

    I have improved them

    I see the new mascots are not popular with everyone. I therefore humbly proffer this new 2012 Olympic mascot making use of the collective wisdom of the outraged critics http://cart.ooni.st/img/2012-mascot.jpg. I'm sure you'll agree it's much better.

    L.

    1. James Thomas
      Thumb Up

      True

      That is awesome! I'd much prefer to have that than the characterless 3D blobs they've chosen.

    2. Adam Salisbury
      Thumb Up

      Awesum

      Yep, much much better!

    3. J 3
      Joke

      Well...

      At least your version makes one immediately think "UK", while the pasteurized, sterile official versions... Make you think weird teletubies, which, come to think of it, are also something UK related, no? Anyway, I digress.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Is it just me...

    ...or does 'Mandeville' look like it's pissed itself after receiving too much morphine (the M on it's forehead)?

  43. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    erm is it just me

    but does anyone else think they look like two giant phallus'.......

    In honour of our own hugely popular national sport I suggest Locog use this one..

    http://www.quizlaw.com/blog/images/stabby-mcknife.jpg

  44. Sean Timarco Baggaley
    FAIL

    Fail-Replacement Bus Service

    Meh. Design by committee usually results in camels. These things are always mediocre at best and the new characters are no exception. "Mandeville" is also far too close to "Mandelson" for it not go get picked-up by comedians.

    I don't personally understand why *any* money is being spent on watching a bunch of lunatics keeping fit. Nobody pays to watch _me_ work out at my local gym. Being able to sprint 400 metres really quickly may have been useful back when we were still fighting wars with flint axes, but it's of debatable value today.

    It would be far better if we had an Olympics event better suited to the modern world.

    Yes, the British would win gold, silver and bronze if there were a 400m. Whinge event. But the Americans, who would romp home with all three medals at both the Ridiculous Spontaneous Applause and the Patronising Marathon.

    The Italians will, naturally, beat the crap out of every other country in the €50K Political Bribe, and also do very well at the Bullshit Regional Dish. (The British win—naturally—with yer actual cheddar on toast, with a dash of mustard; Italy, silver., with their "Quattro Formaggio pizza". The Welsh take the bronze with their Welsh Rarebit. The Welsh would be penalised for not using the word "cheese" in their dish's name.)

    Other events could include: 3km. Striker's March (Fav: FR); Downhill Fiscal Policy (Fav: every country in the developed world); Synchronised Fibbing (Favs: most of GB's political class; Italy's Silvio Berlusconi) and Darwinian Skydiving, where participants are awarded for diving style and splatter.

    Now *that* would be worth paying for.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon
      Headmaster

      Sir

      "British win—naturally—with yer actual cheddar on toast, <snip>. The Welsh take the bronze with their Welsh Rarebit"

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welsh_rarebit

      FYI :)

  45. Phil 54
    Alien

    Aliens?

    They look like Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons

  46. shay mclachlan
    Thumb Down

    saturday night fever?

    So what's with the 70's retro dance move poses?

  47. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Crap is crap at any age.

    The only people who like these claim kids like them. Well I have just surveyed my three children (8, 6 and 3) and they thought these were terrible (3 yr old found them a bit scary).

    I carried out the survey at the school the elder two go to and more than three quarters of the kids asked laughed and said they thought this was rubbish.

    Ok - unscientific survey completed, I am happy that my understanding of childrens tastes is not totally b0rked.

    These are terrible. It is shocking that LOCOG have spent money on this. The whole olympics issue is a cash draining farce for a bit of pointless national pride. If there was any God, then Lord Coe would be in prison on fraud charges. I actually think most children could have done a better job of organising the games than he did, let alone drawing the mascot.

    It is ironic that we as a nation appear to be sending out the signal that its OK for childrens toys to look like a cross between a giant dildo and a CCTV camera.......

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yeah

      "If there was any God, then Lord Coe would be in prison on fraud charges"

      One of our most committed guys who's mission in life was to run and run and just keep on running and never stop until the rest of us put him on a pedestal and cheered him as our hero for doing it better than everybody else in the world! After or failing which he'd stand as a Tory MP having had the opportunity to figure the world out in his own head while the rest of the world passed him by on it's different trajectory. The twat.

  48. ilovemymonkey
    WTF?

    ffs...

    Bayley fulminates: "Why do we have to endure this sort of cretinous infantilism, and this awful lowbrow pandering to primitive ideas of fun?"

    Get over yourself, I don't see how trying something a little different is such a bad thing...ok, you don't like it...at least they had the balls to do something a little differently rather than stay stuck in the old "British" ways. Personally, I don't love them and I don't hate them, but I would applaud the designers for designing something that causes a little controversy...

    as for this quote "If London 2012 is going to be remembered for its art, then we can declare it a calamitous failure already."...How many artists are there that appeal to every single person? This guy doesn't like it and has therefore declared it a failure...I'll say it again, Get over yourself!

    1. Arclight

      This with knobs on

      I can't see why people seem to work themselves up into such a rage of something so pointless. Does anyone actually remember any of the mascots from previous Olympics or World cups? So what the hell does it matter?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Most people

        wouldn't pick their nose on prime time tv though. At least fulminating probably blocks the memory of that one!

      2. Amonynous
        Thumb Up

        Spot on...

        "I can't see why people seem to work themselves up into such a rage of something so pointless. Does anyone actually remember any of the mascots from previous Olympics or World cups? So what the hell does it matter?"

        No of course not, they have all been instantly forgettable due to being:

        - Ephemeral marketing/merchandising fluff

        - Born out of inscrutable cultural idiom

        - Crap

        These latest examples meet all three criteria and are thus: HUGE SUCCESS

  49. Thomas 4
    Flame

    Fuck me

    Someone *actually* sat down and thought that these would be a good idea?

    This *has* to be some sort of secret strategy for winning the Olympics. We screen these things at the end of the track, along with our proud blowjob logo and the other competitors will be too busy pissing themselves laughing to run.

    The London Olympic Commitee - A bunch of mindless jerks who will be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

  50. Techno
    WTF?

    Well I like em!

    They are for kids after all.

    Assuming they'll be made in the UK (yeah right!) we could do with the dosh...

  51. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Mandeville....

    I read it initially as Mandelson ...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Well I suppose someone will...

      ...Stoke Mandelson.

  52. mdban

    So with these two

    obvious phallic symbols,and the lovely cartoon blowjob logo, Leona Lewis wasn't joking about that whole lotta love, was she ?

  53. moonface
    Coat

    Which one, will be the most popular?

    Mandeville appears to have snapped the most shag bands.

    The dirty one eyed monster!

  54. The elephant in the room

    Somebody should have called Ardman

    Here are some helpful tips for designing an Olympic mascot from scratch:

    It should look athletic, so that it may be plausibly animated participating in various sporting activities. Just because CGI makes it possible to animate a ton of bricks or a gelatinous blob doing a high jump does not make it appropriate to do so.

    It should relate to the host country, eg through history, folklore, national dress, physical characteristics

    It should relate to the rest of the art & design that is being done for the Olympics, such as the logo, architecture etc

    Alternatively, rather than starting from scratch, you might ask what A-list animated characters may be signed up for the Olympics who are distinctive to the host country, adaptable to the task, and recognised the world over? Few host countries are even able to answer that, but Britain certainly can; with Wallace & Gromit probably being the most promising contenders.

    Surely they'd be better than a couple of contrived unnatural blobs that have clearly been designed deliberately to be raceless & genderless, and accidentally to not look cabable of any athletic endevour or have any coherence at all with the logo.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      One more thing

      If you are planning on making big bucks selling them, shouldn't you design a mascot that can actually be made out of plush? These look like they could only be fashioned out of mylar; I'm not sure many people will want an Olympic Mascot balloon -- they're a little hard to pack.

      Also, wouldn't they make more money if they had more mascots, like the winter games: http://www.boingboing.net/2010/02/06/pedolympics.jpg ? Now those I would actually buy for my kids!

    2. Rattus Rattus
      Thumb Up

      Excellent ideas,

      but I'd like to propose Danger Mouse and Penfold instead of Wallace and Gromit.

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    missed opportunity

    Should have been a pitbull with a dismembered leg in its jaws (complete with running shoe on the foot) - like to see someone in that outfit that jumping up and down next to the 100m start.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      surely

      you mean a disembodied leg

  56. Jeremy Chappell
    FAIL

    Teeth

    Does anyone else think they look a bit like extracted teeth? They are seriously strange.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Jobs Horns

      General anaesthetic nor required

      My thoughts exactly.

      I wonder who had them forcibly extracted before agreeing to this?

  57. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Dissapointed

    I assumed it would be a Bobby truncheoning Mohamed.

  58. Tim Jenkins

    Perfect

    Unnecessary

    Expensive

    Forgettable

    Therefore ideal to symbolise the whole ridiculous Olympic circus...

  59. Chris Evans

    Brilliant Mascots!

    The article only quotes one journalist as not likeing them. A few more quotes including from children is needed before the article can be considered finished.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Brilliant Mascots!

      It doesn't need anything else. Title refers to a specific shoeing. Shoeing is expanded upon. Article ends. Next.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Pint

        Re: Brilliant Mascots!

        Commenter thinks article is a Wikipedia page. Hilarious! Either that or he thinks he's The Register's new editor-in-chief.

      2. Sir Runcible Spoon
        Joke

        Sir

        Can we have an article on 'A day in the life of Sarah Bee - Moderatrix extraordinaire' ?

        I get the impression it could be summed up in one sentence, two if you include coffee breaks :)

  60. Stewart Haywood
    Joke

    One Eyed Penis

    Each one looks like a one eyed penis. They must have been modelled on a certain ex prime minister.

  61. Skymonrie
    Linux

    Imaginitive?

    I'm not gonna bash the mascots even though they remind me of melted down toy cars but...

    What's inspiring about these? They just remind me of the giant grey shopping complex recently put up in my town, a blight to a town of countryside and tradition.

    I'll go for Tux. To represent how spaced out British people must be to find blobs inspiring with the eyes, skin head and big mouth

  62. gfs
    Unhappy

    Teeth

    They look like big scary pulled teeth

  63. Rogerborg

    Heavy on the "Para"?

    Inbred waddle-tards, rejoice! You are finally flying the flag for Blighty.

    Look, any question about what to put on logos, mascots, Euro banknotes, whatever, there's only ever one correct answer: SPITFIRE.

  64. Simon R. Bone
    FAIL

    Roar!!!!

    Isn't the symbol of Britain supposed to be a Lion? So why not a that?!!? It lends itself well to merchandising etc. Or is the real problem that you can't trademark a lion...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Linux

      Symbols

      You can't trademark a generic lion or bulldog, but I bet you can trademark a lion or bulldog in running shoes! This would also give you a chance to extract revenue from a bidding war between Nike, Asics, Reebok, et. al. over whose logo would go on the shoes!

  65. Matt Bridge-Wilkinson
    FAIL

    Lovechild of the crazyfrog

    Looks like the lovechild of the Crazy frog and the Aliens from the Simpsons... Good to see them continuing with the Simpsons theme...

  66. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Whats the worst thing about London?

    Oh yeah the Rip off TAXI rates and the Parking Meters that use £ by the minute.

    and.... what did they use as Olympic icons?

    a City MetroCab and WestMinster Parking meter.

    bet they got put down as expenses for some MP or Quango bods on their Jollys doing the research for this obcene waste of money.

    Caution WHITE ELEPHANTS CROSSING

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I preferred...

    ...the suggestion that the Olympics should be represented by something associated with the venue, in this case the East End of London.

    So it came down to a toss up between a giant plasticised Barbara Windsor and a cuddly plush Jack the Ripper.

  68. Chris Evans

    A games Mascot not a British Mascot"

    "Isn't the symbol of Britain supposed to be a Lion?" that may be so and the suggested Bulldog/Lion/Victory V/Union Jack Mascot might also be good for the British team but 'Wenlock and Mandeville' are the Mascot for the Games i.e. are for ALL countries.

    Watch the video of 'Wenlock and Mandeville' at http://www.ourlondon2012.com/mascots/ it is very impressive!

  69. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    You Brief:

    Invent an Olympic mascot. Most important requirement... it must be so complex that it is impossible to rip off..

    1. Chika
      FAIL

      Cringeworthy

      That's all very well, but did we have to make them look like a pair of one-eyed trouser snakes?

  70. Steve Dulieu
    Pint

    Mmmm... Beer

    Good grief, the best part of 100 comments and no-one has mentioned the obvious, "Wenlock" now where have I heard that name before? Oh yes, the defunct brewery in East London, 'round about where they're building the Olympic park. One of the mascots celebrates the distruction of jobs and a reduction in the choice of beer! G*ts.

    Cheers, Steve.

  71. FozzyBear
    Happy

    Ummmm.

    At least when the mascots rolled out for the sydney Olympics some of the athletes took it upon themselves to adopt the true mascot for the games. I present you FATSO the fat arsed wombat. Say what you will about our friggin nanny state, but at least we can still take the piss when needed

  72. Dave Bell

    And what about World Cup Willie?

    OK, I'm not saying that ancient cartoon lion is the sort of answer which would be better, but at least the design had a clear visual connection to England. Most of the World Cup mascots since then do keep that idea of a national connection, though team kits for football help a lot.

    And I rather like Zakumi--he hits all the buttons.

    OK, so football is easier, being just the one sport, but when I hear what the Olympics organisers say they wanted, and see what they picked, I have to wonder if they have the same biochemistry that I do.

  73. Louis 2
    Badgers

    give me your wallet

    Well it's nice to see that the mascot on the left of that image is promoting Londons pandemic knife fetish.

  74. Goatan
    Black Helicopters

    Oh no

    I looked at the logo and its image will be in my tempory files, will i got to jail for having extreme porn on my computer??

  75. R J Tysoe

    The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

    Surely they could have come up with something that would have insulted our European neighbours? With a bit of thought they could have insulted the Americans too.

  76. James Pickett
    FAIL

    @Chris Evans

    "A few more quotes including from children is needed"

    I'd get one from my 12-year old, but he's still rolling on the floor laughing...

  77. Deadly Headshot
    Joke

    Better mascot

    Personally, and in echo to Andy Zaltzman's comments, I think they should have used Jack the Ripper. He's perfect - everyone's heard of him, no-one dares ridicule him and what has more to do with sport than chopping up prostitutes?

  78. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Simpsons

    How many of you kids would like Itchy & Scratchy to deal with

    real-life problems, like the ones you face every day?

    Kids: [clamoring] Oh, yeah! I would! Great idea! Yeah, that's it!

    Man: And who would like to see them do just the opposite -- getting

    into far-out situations involving robots and magic powers?

    Kids: [clamoring] Me! Yeah! Oh, cool! Yeah, that's what I want!

    Man: So, you want a realistic, down-to-earth show... that's

    completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots?

    Kids: [all agreeing, quieter this time] That's right. Oh yeah,

    good.

    Milhouse: And also, you should win things by watching.

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