back to article Met Police new HR technology broken, bloated, absent

An attempted programme to modernise the Metropolitan Police's human resources systems is behind schedule and over-budget. The force was originally going to spend £38m to create a self-service HR system which it hoped would save it £15m a year in costs. The system was meant to go live in December 2009 - but it is now hoped it …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Steria?

    Say no more, frankly. Utterly feckless bunch.

    Anon as my bosses read this...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    shock

    Public Sector projects go so badly wrong because they don't bother giving a correct spec at the start of a project, don't bother assigining proper resource to manage the project, are suprised when it doesn't do what they thought it would (as it wasn't in the spec) go back, complain, supplier goes "but you didn't ask for it to work like that..." then they charge then the public sector fol moan that they got charged, but notice there was more unspecced stuff they wanted but isn't there. So on and so forth.

    Of course the developer should try and get a full spec at the start so they arn't completly not to blame, but what do you expect when you go to the lowest cost to golf games ratio for a supplier?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Crime stoppers farce....

    A sample

    http://www.crimestoppers-uk.org/londonmostwanted/suspect.asp?AppealID=41223

    Age: Unknown.

    Height Unknown

    Build Unknown...

    Hair colour: unknown

    etc etc etc...

    He escaped from prison, and there a fucking photo of him, how can you not know these basic details.

    No wonder they are busy nicking photographers, they clear do not have a clue what a photo is useful for......Oooo voodoo magic machine taking the soul of the building.....

    Useless twats...

    1. Robert E A Harvey
      FAIL

      you were lucky!

      I got

      "PHP has encountered an Access Violation at 01D9E0A6"

  4. Alfred

    Cut civilian headcount?

    In the UK, police officers _are_ civilians, thankfully. It makes a big difference.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Spy on your neighbours

    Win top prizes.

    If the Police aren't out looking for these people WTF are we paying them to do...

    Oh yes that's right mugging photographers and eating donuts.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Pathetic

    You call that management speak? We've got one manager here who, in a hearing, gave over five minutes worth of management speak to which I had to work very hard to concentrate and keep up with what they were saying. At the end of it all, I retorted, "So what you're saying is, it's your way or the highway."

    I'll never forget that moment as long as I live.

  7. TkH11

    risky strategry, @ Michelle

    Michelle, the danger with that approach is, if you speak up like that, you're then the first to be made redundant...and managers don't use redundancy to get rid of people they don't like?

    My last employer got rid of 6 people, all highly skilled technical consultants but didn't get rid of one of the overpaid underworked directors..

    The first four they got rid off all could be said had in the past a grievance with that director...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Well said but...

      ... it was my job as a Union rep to negotiate and the employer wasn't bugding. Also, I'm employed by another organisation, they can't fire someone who they don't employ :-)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Michelle

    What you should have done was leverage cross-sector synergies to approach a collective methodology to identify performance indicators with which to baseline your benchmarks and drive continuous improvement. D'oh!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You know...

      ...that's exactly what is happening here. My synergy crossed the collective partners to deliver focussed service for the sector while allowing improvements in the overall base performance benchmark metric for the team.

      Long story short, I'm still at the same desk, doing the same work for the same people, but now I'm employed by someone else.

    2. Robert E A Harvey

      But

      Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the synergies was bad!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    broken, bloated and absent...

    ...a concise description of our local beat bobby.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Damn....

      I wanted to say that !!

  10. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Joke

    "House"

    On my Strategy Boutique Bingo card.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Would love to fix it.

    Step 1. Take down all the particulars of the CIOs.

    Step 2. Give them all ratings.

    Step 3. Announce to country, that all new IT projects from government come with a clause specifying government can demand outsourcing company sackings.

    Step 4. Put first person on blacklist, have him sacked, and ensure he loses his house.

    Step 5. Watch share prices dive, while simultaneously improving the quality of their deliverables.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Observational skills uneccessary

    Presumably this info comes from the cops, which would tend to explain their poor clear-up rates for anything that isn't fingering men with digital SLRs. The villain at http://www.crimestoppers-uk.org/londonmostwanted/suspect.asp?AppealID=41249 is listed as 'Male' in spite of the photographic evidence to the contrary. Another clue as to the physical attributes that might be used for identification stem from the fact she's wanted for return to HMP Holloway. Severa; others are listed as 'age range: unknown' even though they are also wanted for recall to prison - you'd have thought if they'd got that far into the system, someone would have taken a wild guess at their age.

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