Bah!
I think there's a market here for a 'bot that makes sure your -w-e-b-c-r-a-p- social networking pages agree with your injury claims. I have a proof-of-concept perl script that can take a general list of injuries and create hourly updates along the lines of:
"Argh! Attempting to use lavatory but the injuries I sustained to my [insert body part] make it an exercise in humiliation, pain and suffering."
"Can only walk in circles since [insert accident details]. Just spent 25 dizzying minutes attempting to get into kitchen to make self bowl of soup. Soup was cold by the time I spiraled to table."
"Vertigo worse".
"In agony still. Thinking of killing self but cannot work out how due to permanent migraine I have suffered since the [insert injury details]"
"Have taken more pain meds aSDKN;',koqg;ffffhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
"Am picking up sound from channel 9's traffic chopper on the pins put into my [insert skeleton component] AGAIN! When will I be free of this agony?"
"If only I had the full use of [name body part] again, but thanks to [insert large corporation name] that can never be."
Provided no one with an iPhone snarfs pix of you bowling or bricklaying or skiing you should be in like Flynn.