back to article US unveils planet-hugging London embassy

The US has unveiled the design of its new embassy in London - a "carbon neutral" glass cube described as a manifestation of the "core beliefs of our democracy - transparency, openness, and equality". The proposed US London embassy Philadelphia architects KieranTimberlake are at the helm of the £650m project, destined to …

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  1. rpjs
    Thumb Up

    "diplocube"

    Yet another reason why I love El Reg!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Non-US contractors?

    Hehe... I remember where it got them with the embassy building in Moscow. That got bugged down to the physical brick level.

  3. Mark 152

    This isn't the title you're looking for

    Is it just me or does it look like it has a moat on one side and trenches on the other?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "transparency, openness, and equality"

    /chokes

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    VAT

    Wtf

    that building is going to cost a couple of mill and the govermen would endanger them using UK contractors by carging them VAT

    Fail

    1. M Gale

      Well..

      ..so long as the UK govt has a realistic chance of getting the same deal in reverse, I don't have a problem. After all, the idea of an embassy is that the ground space it occupies is the sovereign territory of the country it belongs to. Air Force One is a mobile example of this.. once on board, you're on American soil.

  6. Christoph

    Secure boundaries

    "the required secure boundaries incised into the hillside and out of view".

    They're using a ha-ha?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lookit, an actual moat

    Their democracy is nowadays more like a people's democratic republic's, but hey, at least they're transparently and openly attacking entire countries where people as much as look somewhat like a bunch of people flying planes into buildings. Very symbolic.

    And we simply follow them on vapid promises and false pretenses. Fool me once.... While at it, that diplocube somewhat looks like a die. Will they or won't they? They'll be thinking that, of us.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Planet Orwell

    Transparency, openness and equality?

    ROFLMAO

  9. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Moat

    So that's not a moat and drawbridge to keep out the enemy (or car bombs) then - it's a symbol of the ocean that separates us?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    RE: "open to all Londoners"

    ...if they don't mind red dots trained on their foreheads while they loll about on the minefi-, er, grass.

  11. EddieD

    WTF

    is a diplocube - google only lists the occurences in this article

    1. Christoph
      Alien

      A diplocube?

      It's not anything to do with the Borg. Definitely. Honest. Trust me.

    2. Chris iverson

      *ahem*

      I believe the diplocube is reference to shape of said building being discussed in the article. I would say that said structure does look like it is designed with symmetry in mind. And of course a definition of symmetry is (not bothering with a dictionary at the moment) both sides equal from a dividing point or line. So hence a cube. And since it houses an embassy which usually houses diplomats, we have a very nice pet name of diplocube.

      /rant

  12. M7S

    Embassy Park

    Will that be sovereign US territory? Could be interesting for bye-laws if people behave antisocially whilst having a picnic. Might actually be safe to take the family there, occasional large bangs notwithstanding.

  13. JassMan
    Unhappy

    WTF...

    is a diplocube? Is this some attempt to make a cube sound sexy by building it out of beams and sticking a glass box on the outside? Maybe they have found a source of diplodocus remains and are grinding them up to produce some fantastic new building material?

    The solar gain on this thing will be horrendous, thus ensuring that several megawatts of cooling is required and floods the building when the icecap melts. Bet they won't want to pay VAT on their energy bills either.

  14. swaygeo
    FAIL

    Initial considered thoughts

    AAAGGGHHH My eyes! They bleed!

  15. MeRp

    Great

    First, the most obvious; those who live in glass houses (embassies)...

    Second, slightly less obvious; how can they reconcile the concept of transparency with the camouflaged nature of the security perimeter?

    Third; is it just me.. or is this a mott and bailey design?

  16. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      FAIL

      Re: no VAT eh?

      There's no VAT on new build anyway, only on rebuild / refurbishment. This is why perfectly servicable, well built and attractive old buildings are knocked down and replaced with steel 'n glass pig's ears designed by ego-wanking architects.

      The septics are right here, they shouldn't be charged VAT and unless there's a change in the VAT rules between now and 2013, they won't be. Presumably the point they were actually trying to make is that they'd quite like to stay where they are, but refurbishing and extending the existing site *would* attract VAT, so they're moving to a new building to avoid this.

  17. This post has been deleted by its author

  18. Alien Doctor 1.1
    Grenade

    Summat goes yer

    I'd love to be the first to bring this down; why do they need a building so secure and "electronically impenetrable" in a 'friendly' state?

    God, how I wish the pond was larger.

    Oh, and before any yanks try to tell me how you saved Europe in WW1 and WW2 just think about why you took so long to get involved: talk about waiting to see if the buttered side landed up or down.

  19. blackworx
    Black Helicopters

    Hmmm....

    Reflecting core values... Surely that means being ostensibly transparent, open and democratic whilst in reality being the exact opposite. Seems this giant reflective blast-proof Borg hypercube fits the bill perfectly.

    Resistance is futile.

  20. Caoilte

    poor show

    I preferred Warren Ellis' take.

    You guys are getting lazy.

    http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=8661

  21. OpenSauce
    Alert

    Planet 'hugging'

    read 'destroying' - it's a Borg Cube!

    ;-)

  22. jubtastic1

    lol at the moat

    Half Moat and earthwork embankments, it's a 21st Century castle.

    1. lpopman
      Grenade

      titular thingamubob

      Actually, moats and earthworks are time honoured defences against a ground attack.

      I would presume that the air is protected with stingers as seems to be the usual US tactic.

  23. ElSpeedo
    Big Brother

    You Will Be Assimilated

    We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.

  24. William Fisher

    US unveils planet-hugging London embassy

    Looks like a Borg Cube.

    "Core beliefs"?

    "You will be assimilated".

    "Resistance is futile".

    Yep, sounds about right.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Unimatrix Zero

    Resistance is futile

  26. AliJ
    Alien

    Assimilation anyone?

    Is it me or has the Borg cube landed? Your oil will be added to the USA...

  27. deshepherd

    Never mind the VAT

    Is it inside the congestion charge region! (as currently the US Embassy are somewhat reluctant to pay CC)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Congestion charge and Mayfair are the reason...

      It is outside the congestion charge region. That was one of the reasons (non-officially, naturally) why they want to move. Also, the increasingly upset neighbours in Mayfair (because of the way Grosvenor Square now looks and the dangers it represents to buildings around the area should a bomb go off) are also cited as a reason.

  28. Jeremy 2
    Go

    <title/>

    It may be treehugging but it's got to be better than their current building. I was there a couple of years back and it's a horrible, dreary, run-down, overcrowded, 50's architecture, concrete craphole. According to Wikipedia, it's just been Grade II listed. God knows why.

  29. solarian
    Megaphone

    Yeah, right

    When this was first announced it was quite clear that it was because the owner of the Mayfair building had put up the rent and that the US State Dept. was unwilling to pay for it. I don't mean to sound unfair, but the rest is spin.

  30. solarian
    Thumb Down

    oh yes...

    ...and just one final point: would you (USA) please stop making reference to a "special", "cherished" or other "relationship", "partnership", etc., etc. The weirdness since the Obama election vis-a-vis the journalists is a case of tail-wags-dog and is just getting extremely tedious now. So if you wouldn't mind, let's just stop the navel-gazing.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Never heard in the US

      The only people AFAIK who refer to any kind of "special relationship" are the Brits, who imagine that the US gives a tinker's cuss about them if it doesn't align with their foreign policy.

      ISTR the previous US ambassador explicitly forbade his staff from using the phrase, as well.

  31. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
    Terminator

    Borg cube?

    Resistance is futile - you WILL be assimilated. I think we get the message...

  32. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    WTF?

    Not subject to VAT?

    Does *any* part of the US Govt in Britain get this treatment?

    The Olympic Games won't (one reason they instantly went over budget) What part of the US Govt does not get this?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      We are the US government...

      ... We expect you, regardless of common sense and applicable laws and standards, to make exceptions for us. Because we are the US government. Period.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Uh-oh

    Looks like a Borg cube to me.

    Prepare to be assimilated!

    I heard the Ambassador talking about this on the radio last night, when he said open spaces and no big security walls etc, I (stupidly) assumed a nice landscaped area. Looks like a combo of a moat and a big feck-off ditch.

    Security by old fashioned methods eh??

  34. Shades
    Thumb Down

    That's...

    ....a bloody carbuncle if ever I saw one!

    Plus I think the designers have been watching FlashForward as one side of the design (the side with the pond/half-moat) the looks a lot like the FBI offices in FF.

  35. Slartybardfast
    Unhappy

    see below

    Bloody things got a moat around it.

  36. Anomalous Cowherd Silver badge

    Vauxhall?

    Hope their glass is mortar proof.

  37. John 62

    better than the russian embassy in burn after reading

    but the more pertinent comparison is with the Presbyterian Church in Ireland, which was going to move from it's current gothic-y 'Spires' building and into a new one it was going to build that was nick-named 'the glass house' (it was going to envelope an existing church as well, which would have been _interesting_). Apart from not being able to afford the move, they eventually decided it was just a bad idea.

    Diplocube is truly the only word for this. It's not a bad building, but it doesn't seem like an embassy. But 7 years to build? Is that how long it takes to get anything done in London?

  38. Trevor Pott o_O Gold badge

    Resistance is futile

    We are the borg. If you say something we don't like, our diplocube will destroy you.

  39. Martin Usher
    Unhappy

    Its a castle

    They don't build them out of stone these days, but its obviously a castle.

    I've got a better use for the tax dollars...

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    sure looks better than the US Embassy in Canada

    Cause "the brick", as it is referred to in Ottawa, is a sore point in the landscape as seen from Parliament Hill. Some may argue with a hint of humour, the US Embassy in Canada is the archetype of communist-style architecture.

  41. Steve Roper
    Big Brother

    Transparency, openness and equality

    What the... oh wait, I get it. Equality as in All Animals Are Equal But Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others. Sort of like War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength kind of thing. Like calling the police the Ministry of Love and the propaganda department the Ministry of Truth. That's OK, I see it now.

  42. James Woods

    hope someones getting paid in cash to make it

    I don't think i'd be accepting a check from good o'le uncle sam. He doesn't seem to have any money in the bank to buy anything.

    I do appreciate them outing what they are blowing our money on. The last announcement the IRS made about their needing of a new slew of shotguns reminded me that I also needed a new one.

    The IRS wouldn't want me bringing a pistol to a shotgun battle now would they? Gotta have a fair fight!

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Been there - done that.

    It looks like the architects wore out their Xerox machines creating their "original" design.

    http://www.arcspace.com/architects/koolhaas/wyly_theater/wyly_theater.html

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dallas_Wyly_Theatre_01.jpg

  44. Triggerfish

    Architects plans

    The US has unveiled the design of its new embassy in London - a "carbon neutral" glass cube described as a manifestation of the "core beliefs of our democracy - transparency, openness, and equality".

    In other news: The new labour headquarters architects plans have ben revealed, "We wanted a tall impregnable black tower with a big freaking fiery eye on top and a cage for my flying monkeys" said Mandelson

  45. ShaggyDoggy

    Moat

    It's obvious that the moat is for the sharks with frikkin laser beams

  46. Alastair Rae
    Alert

    flat roof

    Complete with flat roof for Saigon-style helicopter evacuations.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  47. Ian Ferguson
    Black Helicopters

    Security

    I tell you what really strikes me about this design: The 10-foot high concrete walls around the sides, disguised as split-level gardens and ponds. Very similar to GCHQ's boundary. Very effective at stopping any kind of vehicle (eg. explosive-laden lorries trying to ram the embassy) and protestors.

    The entry building at the bottom is also obviously to physically separate the security entrance and the embassy building.

    A stand-alone embassy, a good distance from other buildings, also obviously has security benefits. I would suggest that the intention to abandon Grosvenor Square is much more to do with security than office space.

  48. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Coat

    One possible vulnerability

    Would be all that glass. Making it triple glazed would be very eco-friendly. However if one were to (for example) Make a large metal plate with a lot of holes in and loosely screw a lot of bolts into it, liberally apply some plastic explosive to the back it would (in principle) be possible to carry it under a helicopter to said building before pressing the button.

    The mother of all Claymore mines.

    No doubt they will install the SAM battery on the roof for such an event. Of course they could just put the Ambassador's office in the basement, but that would not be very ambassadorial.

    Mines the one with the Thomas Harris "Black Sunday" in the pocket.

  49. Hollerith 1

    Hooray!

    We Londoners can finally have all of Grosvenor Square back without all the chicanes and armed police in a very nice part of Mayfair.

    How much the American Ambassador will like being out in the sticks is anyone's guess, but at least we won't have to watch American diplomatic cars drive into the heart of the West End Congestion-Charge free. I hope our Ambassador in Washington DC is currently withholding some local city tax, to give them a taste of civil disobedience.

  50. Noons
    Paris Hilton

    diplofib

    The picture looks nice and all, if you're into post-modern castle and moat style architecture, but... the trees are casting shadows? Sunshine... in London?

    The sun shines on Paris.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Grenade

      Re: diplofib

      Well obviously there's some pro-American third-world despot standing out of shot to the left and the sun's shining out of his arse.

  51. dave 76
    Black Helicopters

    non-US contractors?

    I suspect the non-US contractors will be limited to the landscaping, glazing and other non-critical work - other embassies have had issues with local contractors adding bugs to the structure that I doubt they will be allowed the opportunity to do that here.

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