back to article Jedi chapter seeks leader after master resigns

Surrey's nascent Jedi community is looking for a new leader after the incumbent, Master Ajac, was forced to step down for health reasons. The Surrey Advertiser reports that the 25 strong group is looking for someone with "a background in martial arts and a deep understanding of the teachings of the Jedi, the religion featured …

COMMENTS

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Welcome

    cheap shots (as usual)

    Use the force, Luke.

    This is not the leader you are looking for.

    and the ubiqutous "I would like to be the first to welcome our new Jedi overlord*"

    * as soon as we find him...

  2. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
    FAIL

    The sad thing is...

    That there will probabaly be some sad geeks out there that REALLY want to sign up.

    I won't be convinced of course until one of them can help me get my X-Wing out of the swamp.

  3. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    "an undisclosed location"

    <Waves hand>

    This is not the location you're...

    ... oh bugger, what a give away!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    " the two year old group meets at an undisclosed location"

    Isn't that a bit young to be forming your own religion and meeting in secret?

  5. LinkOfHyrule
    WTF?

    Surrey

    Surrey has a "Jedi Chapter"? I'm moving if this is true, no wonder the house prices in the better parts of <insert name of stuck-up Surrey village here> are falling!

    Signed, Disgusted of Surrey!

    1. ravenviz Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re; Surrey

      It must be in Claygate, they're all a bit strange there.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Incomplete investigation....

    ...as we need to know what proportion of this group are married....

    1. Gulfie
      Stop

      Let me correct that for you...

      ... as we need to know what proportion of this group have bona fide (hehe) experience of the opposite sex...

      1. James 139

        Surely

        that is a requirement though, arent the Jedi forbidden to engage in rumpy pumpy?

        1. Big-nosed Pengie

          12345

          It's not so much that it's forbidden, it's just that they'll never have the chance.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Loosers

    Honestly, they make people who go to Star Trek conventions look fashionable.

    And people call *me* sad...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Okay

      you're sad

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Close, but no cigar...

      People just think you can't spell "losers"...

      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=looser

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      :p

      No, it's your inability to spell "losers."

      </spelling nazi>

    4. Marvin the Martian
      Troll

      Judging from your spelling

      They're probably calling you sadd, actually.

  8. Alpha Tony

    I have a bad feeling about this.

    'the two year old group meets at an undisclosed location'

    Is it chapter founder Daniel Jones' mum's basement by any chance?

    Thought so.

  9. Yannick
    Coat

    Pathetic

    WTF is wrong with people? Jedis, then Avatards, what next? Jobsians?

    /coat - door.

  10. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. Wish You Were Here
    Paris Hilton

    Shoorly

    A true Jedi wouldn't need to know the location of the meetings but would sense the disturbance in the force?

    Paris, 'cos she could disturb my force anytime.

    1. Laie Techie

      Disturbance in the Force?

      > A true Jedi wouldn't need to know the location of the meetings but would sense the disturbance

      > in the force?

      Um, refreshments are *AFTER* the meeting's over...

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    there are potential benefits

    Get it recognised as an official religion, claim tax exemptions on tithes. Unfortunately the established religions guard those perks quite jealously. New anti-discrimination laws may help with that, but the membership is unfortunately too small to make if prophetable to me.

  13. Paul was already taken
    Go

    @Loosers

    Oi, Jedi's, some trekkies are smack talking you! Are you gonna take that or are you gonna go kick some pointy eared butt?

  14. The Metal Cod

    Remember

    A Jedi can feel the force flowing through him... hang on, that's last night's curry

  15. Shady
    Stop

    Undisclosed Location?

    You mean, your Mom's Basement?

    (Please excuse the American accent)

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Health grounds?

    Or did he just finally meet a girl?

  17. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Coat

    Light sabre practice with Captain Solo?

    (I'm sure there was an Obi Wan in my coat before I hit it, where'd the elderly nonce get to?)

  18. Pirate Dave Silver badge
    Pirate

    "step down for health reasons"

    When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not...

  19. Gulfie
    Coat

    "neurolinguistic programming, as a way of dealing with people in a peaceful and calm manner"

    Sounds more like Scientology than Jedi.

    "These are not the Thetans you're looking for. More auditing for you."

    Erm, I'll get my coat.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Are women allowed?

    Sounds like a less fatuous version of the Masons.

    Oh, I don't know...

  21. Dale 3

    Lightsaber training

    Do they use a Jedi mind trick to overcome the realisation that they're doing their "lightsaber" training with a stick? Because lightsabers don't actually exist, it turns out.

    OTOH, this wouldn't be the first science fiction-based "religion" to have lasted long enough for there to be enough new recruits who weren't around when the first person MADE IT UP, that they actually believe it.

    1. steward
      Happy

      Making up religions

      "this wouldn't be the first science fiction-based "religion" to have lasted long enough for there to be enough new recruits who weren't around when the first person MADE IT UP"

      That's for sure. Some parts of the book of Genesis make for really great science fiction.

      1. Yannick
        Unhappy

        Some parts of the book of Genesis make for really great science fiction.

        Phil Collins wrote his autobiography???

  22. lansalot
    WTF?

    bloody hell

    Clearly, the farce is strong with that lot.

    Losers.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hang on, not really losers

      A belief in a supernatural force that is based on a work of fiction. Doesn't that remind you of something 5000 years old, 2000 years old, 1000 years old, 100 years old, 2 years old etc.

  23. Richard 120

    Religion

    It can't be that much worse than some of the crap other religions come out with, and they've served their purpose as far as I'm concerned.

    My life has been enhanced by their very existence because this story and the associated comments have raised a smile as a result of all the scorn heaped upon them by heathen reg readers.

    You can't ask much more than that from a religion.

  24. Sven

    Hire from within

    Non of the 31 there are able to pick up the light saber?

  25. Professor Tinklepants
    Thumb Up

    The perfect candidate.....

    ....it's gotta be the fat kid off the lightsaber You Tube Vid.

    Can't get more qualified than him, no messing!

  26. LuMan
    Headmaster

    Religion??! <pedant>

    Jedi is not a religion! Never has been. Not even in the film. "Old Ben Kenobi" may have worn a robe and followed a religion of sorts, but it certainly wasn't Jedi!

    Jedi are an order of knights, much in the same vein as the Samurai (actually, movie trivia fans, Lucas' inspiration for Jedi was the Samurai). Is Samurai a religion?? No, it bloomin' isn't. The Samurai's main religions are Shintoism, Confucianism and Zen (a form of Buddhism).

    So, the next time some idiot tells you that they're religion is Jedi, tell 'em their thick and to go home, flick through their mum's Freemans catalogue and stop being so fugging stupid!

    </pedant>..... and breathe!

    1. Tom Maddox Silver badge
      Stop

      Whoa . . .

      Pardon me while I back away slowly.

    2. Big-nosed Pengie

      Pedentry perhaps

      But have you noticed that all Hollywood boyzone adventure movies have to have a religion analogue, be it Jedi or whatever that idiocy is in Avatar. Americans can't conceive of a world without one, even a make-believe world.

      1. Rob

        Urban Legend

        As far as I know I think it is also an urban legend that it's an offically recognised religion in the UK.

        1. JohnG

          Jedi not an official religion

          That is correct, although 390000 people put "Jedi" as their religion on their 2001 census forms, the government decided to rank them with "Other". A mere 267000 listed their religion as "Jewish".

          http://www.statistics.gov.uk/CCI/nugget.asp?ID=297

    3. JohnG

      Pedantic

      "..... tell 'em their thick.... " </pedant>

      ".....tell 'em they're thick...." FFS

  27. Eduard Coli
    Grenade

    Religophilosophy ain't a word

    Bob is/would be pleased.

    Jedi, for those who are too cool for Scientology but not cool enough to be sub-genii...

    Samuri was a job "to serve" and a life style, religion was secondary to all of this.

    Lucas vacillates between a Samuari lifestyle and ShaoLin.

  28. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Tired of those old religions?

    Why not start your own?

  29. philbo
    Joke

    Does that mean..

    ..Ali Dizaei is the outgoing Jedi master?

    He certainly seems to have caused a disturbance in the Force

    1. Marcus Aurelius
      Coat

      Dizaei

      The disturbance in the force will result in prisoners feeling Dizaei......

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