back to article Spanish disco offers gals free 'consolers'

A Spanish disco is tonight offering free "consolers" to the first 400 girls who pitch up at the door, and promises the lucky recipients they're "going to vibrate". The Cuomo flyer offering free consoler Valencia's Cuomo, described by El Periódico as one of the region's best known nightspots, and which attracts thousands of …

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  1. Alex Walsh

    Lester is Awesome

    So many journos just reprint press releases or recycle other news. I'll wager this is actually a hard hitting piece of investigative journalism, with months of undercover work by the man himsef. I'm off to buy a hat so I can take it off to a proper journo.

    Hurrah!!!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      so far today...

      he's given us a granny romp in the bread aisle, a vibrator giveaway, a G Spot probe and taoist masters hard at it.

      I want his job.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    mmm

    heh - for a moment I thougth the article was about an offering aimed at boys - e.g. girl-free "consolers"...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Nah !

    Had this down my local for ages and ages. Great response by the over fifties brigade, no, wait a minute, everybody (all three locals) down my local must be over fifty! The vet does seem to use a lot of 'em though, guess they improve receptiveness for his filthy insemination purposes (eeewwww).

  4. TheOtherJola
    Thumb Up

    Welcomed with open legs

    I think I'm going to use that line

  5. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Welcomed with open legs

    Sue Townsend did it first via Adrian Mole wondering how Bianca (or possibly Marigold) would react if he tried it on. "Would she welcome me with open arms and legs?"

    1. Cian

      Who?

      I think The Who predate this with their song "You Better You Bet"

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Er ,,, what's a consoler ?

    Is it some sort of deviant spelling of console, perchance ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      IT Angle

      Apparently...

      It's some type of electronic device for sending high frequency analog input. It plugs into a female socket.

  7. SimpleUser
    Happy

    Sarah

    how did this work out ? Did she- with both ? Proof ?

  8. Alan Esworthy
    Go

    The Who

    "I want those feeble minded axes overthrown

    I'm not into your passport picture, I just like your nose

    You welcome me with open arms and open legs

    I know only fools have needs, but this one never begs"

  9. Cliff

    Mr Haines...

    The redtops must be gutted that The Reg got a hold of you before they did... I'm certain there's always a job for you over at the 'Currant Bun' just for asking...

  10. Big-nosed Pengie

    10 (8) Euros?

    It's not free, then, is it.

    1. The Commenter formally known as Matt
      Paris Hilton

      I'm Free

      Thats the entry fee to the club. The, uh, consoler is given free to the first lucky 400 lasses.

  11. DZ-Jay

    Re: mmm

    @AC:

    You see, in Spanish, the common name for a vibrator is "consolador", which translates literally to "consoler" *.

    Hence the brilliancy of the flyer: "Con tu entrada, premio de "consolación", a pun meaning quite literally "With your entrance, a "consolation" price."

    -dZ.

    * I'm not sure why; perhaps it's because in Hispanic culture, a female sex toy is ragarded primarily as a companion for those lonely nights, when the desired Real Thing is not available, and not an outright substitute.

  12. Andrew Matthews 1
    Thumb Up

    driving instructor

    Were the batteries included?

    Cos,if they were, the disco would achieve a right old *buzz*

  13. Paul Vail

    OhMiBod

    Is this another OhMiBod giveaway?

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