back to article Fancy a lottery win? Smoke dried vulture brains

Those of you feeling a bit cash-strapped following Xmas might find a solution in South Africa's traditional medicine, or muti, markets, where a particle of dried vulture brain could help you secure a vital cash injection. According to AFP, the brains are "rolled into a cigarette or inhaled as vapors", with remarkable results. …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's tempting to laugh

    But then you realise a lottery-winning spliff made from the finest dried vulture brains is probably about as sensible as using homeopathy - which is available through the NHS.

  2. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    I'm deeply concerned...

    "Vultures are scarce. I only have one every three or four months."

    ...what if they find out about vulture central? (Or maybe there's a good deal in it - you know, recession and stuff. Where were El Reg's offices again?)

  3. Mountford D

    Really?

    "You see things that people can't see" and "...can detect any strange presence from kilometres away".

    I remember having these abilities in my younger days after consuming industrial quantities of alcohol and the ingestion of certain substances. However I can assure everyone that no vultures were harmed in any way then. Nowadays I just rely on night-vision devices and motion-detectors which makes life a lot easier the day after.

  4. Jimbo 6
    IT Angle

    What's the IT angle ?

    Oh yeah... El Reg... vulture....sorry.

  5. Cameron Colley

    Quick! Think up something that Gulls and Pigeons can be sold for!

    Then, with any luck, people will start killing the annoying vermin to sell to the stupid.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Oh, I'm sure it's a cure for financial woes...

    ...for the guy selling the vulture brains.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why not?

    Can't be any worse than those stupid lotto number picking software claiming to pick the winning numbers

  8. J 3
    Joke

    excellent vision that helps them fly out of nowhere to descend on carcasses

    "excellent vision that helps them fly out of nowhere to descend on carcasses"

    Why would I want to descend on carcasses is way beyond me... On the other hand, the lottery winning must be quite low to each person there, if a lot of people are doing this. Which kinda defeats the purpose after all, I suppose?

    Anyway, ain't religion precious. It makes people believe and do the darndest things. So cute.

  9. Graham Marsden
    WTF?

    What have you been sm-

    ... oh, right, of course.

    Nothing to see here, move along...!

  10. DavidK

    Vultures.

    Faaahsands of 'em.

  11. Jacqui Smith's DVD Collection!
    Thumb Down

    excellent vision

    That would be the same excellent vision that prevented the Vulture from getting trapped?

    Anything for a buck in ZA.

    1. Scott 1
      Stop

      A rare find

      Maybe this would explain why the vultures are such a rare find.

      In related news, all staff members of The Register are hereby and forthwith required to take a one-way business trip to South Africa. Never you mind what for.

  12. Daniel B.
    Dead Vulture

    I see dead Vultures...

    Articles like this make me miss the 'dead vulture' icon ... which would be totally appropiate for this one.

    Does wanting vulture brains make one a zombie? Coz zombies want braaaaains!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Inaccurate ...

    The article is focuses on the exclusive upmarket muti markets which cater for the tourist trade. In realty, Tesco Value Vulture costs a lot less than the homebrew stuff and is made from 100% organic, ethically poached vultures.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hello sir!

    I am desperately asking your help. My aunt recently saw lotto numbers after smoking vulture brains. She won the lotto for a trillion rand but unfortuately...

  15. Tom Paine
    Joke

    @J 3 "Why descend on carcasses?"

    > Why would I want to descend on carcasses is way beyond me..

    >

    To go through their pockets and look for loose change, of course.

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