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back to article LHC Xmas shutdown today - massive boffin roister planned

Sad news for fans of the exciting new sport of ultra-violent hadron billiards today, as international science alliance CERN shuts down the Large Hadron Collider - most powerful particle-punisher ever built - for the Christmas break this evening. Not everyone will be unhappy, though. Tinfoil-bonced apocalypse prophets, and more …

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  1. Hermes Conran
    Alert

    Aaaaarrgh

    Don't let the nerds get drunk!!! It won't be the office photocopier they'll be fooling around with!

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Winter shutdown

    I thought when LHC first started that they said the intention was to use winters for maintenance and only run it over the summer when there was less demand for electricity and thus they could buy power cheaper.

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    1. Dave Cradle
      Reply Icon

      re:Winter shutdown

      True, but that was probably before the unplanned, extended "maintenance window" of the last few months. :-)

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  3. Fredrick Smith
    Pint

    Precaution

    Best to switch it off before the party!

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  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good news

    This shut-down will give Lewis a chance to recuperate with a mince pie and an even larger thesaurus.

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  5. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    So...

    ... how long before someone says "Hey, how about we try roasting the turkey in the LHC"?

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  6. Alain Moran
    Thumb Up

    If ever...

    If ever the world ends in some apocalyptic catastrophe and by some miraculous coincidence the reg coverage of the LHC is the only history of the world available, historians are going to have an interesting time disemminating fact from 'fiction' ... heh .. well done el reg :D

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    What a coincidence..

    I met this bloke in the pub today offering to 'smash yer aydrons fer cash mate' over Christmas, looks like some of the boys at CERN are doing some off the books unofficial interdimensional portal opening over the Christmas break..

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  8. Charlie Clark Silver badge
    Pint

    Wonderful

    Excellent article. NFT.

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  9. Neoc
    Stop

    Just realised

    The LHC requires to be cold (reeeeally cold) to work.

    The LHC is the Large Hadron *Collider*.

    The LHC is so massive, even El Reg calls its size Titanic.

    So what we have here is a cold Titanic collider.

    I vote we nickname the LHC " 'berg "!

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    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      When the Cat's away, the Mice who Have IQ will Play Havoc with Hive IQ?

      "So what we have here is a cold Titanic collider.

      I vote we nickname the LHC " 'berg "!" ... Neoc Posted Thursday 17th December 2009 00:21 GMT

      As an added Health and Safety precaution, Neoc, in cases where there are Crazy Valid Concerns of Sentient Being Portals and Colossal Machinery doing God Particle Physics Peculiarly, perhaps it should be nicknamed "NICEberg" too ........ for this is an existing parallel with similar DNA? .......... "NICE Systems is the leading provider of Insight from Interactions solutions and value-added services, powered by the convergence of advanced analytics of unstructured multimedia content and transactional data"

      And it is as well to bear in mind, and especially so in these very strange and quirky quarky times, that even though a Machine is shut down, Boffinry never Stops or Sleeps.

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      1. M Gale
        Reply Icon
        Coat

        I like you

        I haven't a clue what you're on about, but you're lovely.

        Personally I think it's going to end with a portal to hell being opened. I hope the boffins have been stocking up on explosive barrels and chainsaws.

        Mine's the one with a spare plasma pack in the pocket.

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  10. Ben Dover
    Pirate

    The Race is On

    The boffins now get over 2 months to work on experimental nano-tech machines, letting some escape through a faulty filter that no-one takes responsibility for.

    So, in the search for past alien civilisations, should we be looking for "gray goo" or "black holes" ?

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Two things...

    1. Didn't John Carmack already predict the future of this one?

    2. Since the Daily Fail and other tabloids (with help from the tossers in the government) have completely ruined the word 'Scientist' such that no one believe a word they say any more, perhaps the word Boffin which has friendly undertones can now be used exclusively to actually get sensible information to the general populous. El Reg, patent the word immediately.

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  12. Dale Richards
    Go

    Title

    So... the sword of Damocles has been sheathed. FOR NOW!

    On a more serious note, is it just me or is there a temperature excursion in progress in sector 81?

    http://hcc.web.cern.ch/HCC/cryo_main/cryo_main.php?region=Sector81&sector=81

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  13. Daniel Wilkie
    Boffin

    @Graham Marsden

    Um, roasting the turkey inside something that's colder than deep space? I see a flaw in your plan there...

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  14. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Funny Farmers ...or Phabulous Phormers?

    I wonder if any other popular and irreverent web magazine has such a deep and diverse contributory readership as El Reg?

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    1. jake Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Hey, amfM ...

      Ever hear of Usenet? It's been around for a couple decades ...

      Might ask your Cousin Eliza, or your Uncle Parry ;-)

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  15. Munchausen's proxy
    Pint

    Billiards?

    Hadron snooker, surely?

    And Graham - if there are any Americans involved, the relevant phrase will be, "Hey! Hold my beer and watch this!"

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  16. The First Dave

    Forum

    Any chance that we can have this 'forum' set up so that there is some way of telling which post a reply refers to?

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      replies

      You mean like having the replies indented below the relevant post, with a grey line on the left? I'm sure they can manage that.

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  17. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    the LOL method

    http://cdsweb.cern.ch/record/1229427

    here is the christmas party... laughing at the end of the world, at the UNO human rights comission, at the fact that the Higgs doesnt exist and the swindle goes well over 10 billion $ the LOL method, laughing Out Loud to all the crimes of mankind...

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