back to article Copenhagen talks stalled by green puppeteers

International climate negotiations in Copenhagen were reportedly stalled today, as delegates from developing nations - some working hand-in-glove with Western environmental activists - expressed their objections to rumoured plans by rich nations to replace the established Kyoto Protocol with a new framework. The BBC reports …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    As C. M. Burns would say....

    ....damn hippies!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    It seems to me...

    ...that burning cars is pretty bad for the environment.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      It could be "pretty bad for the environment"...

      ... yet still be better for it than leaving that car unburnt, to run for maybe twenty years or more chucking out pollutants. See, environmentalism is all about these kinds of carefully-weighed cost-benefit decisions!

      1. rciafardone
        Flame

        Sadly... No, they dont.

        If "Environmentalist" knew ANYTHING about cost-benefit and energy efficiency then "bio-fuels" would never had happened, at least not the ones based on grains...

        Sadly we are wasting our time and efforts chasing the "capitalist" polluters, instead of developing the necessary tech to survive the climate change, a change that will occur sooner or later NO MATTER what we do, because that is the nature of our planet.

        Do we speed up that change? That hasn’t been proven yet and probably in a few decades we will find out we don’t. But even if we do, that doesn’t mean that the climate change will not happen anyway further ahead.

        To repeat myself and be clear: CLIMATE CHANGE IS INEVITABLE.

        We must start now to develop the necessary tech to make possible to grow food regardless of local weather conditions, unless we do that, our great global civilization will go down, either in a long hot summer or in a long cold winter.

        Why isn’t anyone in the media talking about this possibility? You have stupid “greens” saying is our fault and we must all go kumbaya in the jungle and stupid corporate goons who said everything is ok, nothing will happen, lets just go as we are now, right down to our extinction as a civilization.

  3. Chris Miller

    They're back!

    for the moment, at least ...

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8412483.stm

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Emissions

    I wonder how much CO2 did the police vans used to stop the protesters emit. What about those burnt cars?

  5. TeeCee Gold badge
    WTF?

    Well bugger me!

    You mean to say that, with all the world's countries represented in one place, they can't come to an agreement that they'll all sign up to without either at least half of them walking out or it being a meaningless, toothless, watered down compromise? I don't think the carbon-cultists needed to bother sticking their oar in to achieve that one.

    Next week: The tinfoil hat brigade show how Nostradamus* predicted the failure of the Copenhagen Climate talks and how this will lead to the end of the Mayan calendar, a plague of frogs and a documentary on the Discovery Channel.

    Also, what's with the outpouring of crusty eviltude directed at DONG? I thought they were one of the ones who were full-on with the eco-wash and were last seen trying to stick wind turbines all over the Thames Estuary**?

    *'Cos if he didn't he's complete crap as a seer. Even Mystic Meg could have seen that coming.

    **No, I have no idea where they're planning to erect their enormous DONG farm this week.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Snigger Snigger..

    Dong Energy, wonder if they use kinetic or thermal energy,..snigger...titter...hee..heee

    <Schoolboy walks of into sunset>

  7. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    FAIL

    What are China and India

    Are they poor helpless 3rd world nations who must be helped and allowed to up their carbon footprint as much as they want

    Or more like fast approaching 1 st world nations with hughe GDPs, who need to start showing *some* environmental responsability?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      well

      both countries still have massive poverty, and the main way to change that is by getting affordable power to areas to allow various other services (running water, sewage treatment, telecoms, entertainment, etc, etc, etc)

      1. Gary Turner

        cheap energy?

        That would be coal, oil, and gas. Scrubbing the real pollutants such as sulfur, mercury, and nitrogen compounds is fairly easy and cheap. The politically motivated, scientifically challenged idjits seem to think CO₂ is a pollutant, instead of the life giving trace gas that it is, and manage to throw every possible roadblock in the way of generating cheap electricity.

  8. Cucumber C Face
    Flame

    China doing nothing?

    <Non-PC content>Whatever one thinks of their one child mandate - China have implemented the only policy yet suggested (much less implemented) which stands a snowflake in hell's chance of limiting CO2 emissions or indeed almost any other anthropogenic environmental threat.</Non-PC content>

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      unfortunatly

      Sadly China realised that their policy wasn't all that great as they now risk an aging population and a major imbalance in male to females.

    2. rciafardone
      Flame

      This is all BS

      The only reason Chine is still a developing country is because they are communist. mind you, only communist in the sense that the State OWN everything instead of no-one owning anything. Isnt that confusing? Anyway the China-Goverment is as capitalist as you can get, so much as to actually allowing SLAVE CAMPS to exist in remote areas of the country. Is a shit of a nation and i hope they choke in their own fumes...

      That said i also think atht each and every nation should have the right to decide what to do and not do in reggard if the enviroment and international actors should STFU and get bent...

      I kinda pissed off...

  9. Matt 21

    Agreement

    Surly the only fair way is to agree a per person CO2 allowance. Otherwise, countries like the States can easily make reductions by buying a car that does more than 15mpg.

    Of course all of this is a CO2 wasting wast of time anyway, but if we were to do it...........

  10. GeorgeTuk
    FAIL

    What a surprise, they want money.

    What sensible 3rd world nation doesn't want a wad of cash they never use for its intended purpose.

    Why don't we actually give them the kit and not the money. Lets see Mugabe make embezlement from some solar panels.

    Instead we have newsworthy headlines of chucking over £1bn to unspecified countrys to "combat climate change". It's not as if we are really ina fantastic position to be giving money away for anything other than emergency aid.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      Follow the money

      "Why don't we actually give them the kit and not the money. Lets see Mugabe make embezlement from some solar panels.

      [...]

      It's not as if we are really ina fantastic position to be giving money away for anything other than emergency aid."

      That's right: in the latter case the banks got all the money, and in the former case Mr Mugabe and the tinpot brigade need somewhere to stash all that cash (whether it be given to him directly or acquired by selling gear on).

      Yay, if you're a banker, then, because you've just managed the elusive "triple-dip".

  11. FlatSpot
    Joke

    BA

    At least British Airways will be doing their bit for CO2 reductions... Christmas strikes how very caring

  12. 1of10

    Leaked document - the end of the meeting...

    NOTE FOR THE MEDIA:

    Dr. Simpson’s background introductory note - Dr. Simpson has been Head of Climatotologamy Research for the past 15 years

    Dr. Simpson will communicate to the media the following...

    - We conclude this round of negotiations on climate change with a positive note. After all the wasted spoken words of CO2 on all media conferences we reached for the first time one of our main objectives. On this week only, we all produced enough CO2 that our foot-print size for the distance between Earth and the moon.

    - With this significant accomplishment; we aim next meeting to have more members and countries present on this capital issue which is Climate Change that will affect everyone on Earth (I guess attending to the data at our disposal). Anyway we do hope on the next meeting to raise again with all countries for them to sign off a couple billion to keep my job safe but also to quadruple the CO2 production during this event.

    After all, there isn’t enough CO2 without O2 and some smoke…

    Kindly Regards,

    Dr. Simpson

    (Head of Climatotologamy research)

  13. zooooooom

    @Johm Smith

    Isn't china about 8 times worse GDP per person than the US????

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      @ zooooooooooooom

      Perhaps - but it is growing at 8 - 10% which gives a doubling time of ~7 to 10 years. The US is growing at about 3%. China also has ~4X the population.... hence China will have a larger GDP than the US in less than ~10 years.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Hand-in-glove

    "In many ways, the current argument is between two groups in Western society, rather than between the poor world and the rich."

    Well, maybe "Western society" could take a break from the usual hand-in-glove treatment of African nations, propping up various dictators and provoking inter/intra-nation conflicts while making off with all those natural resources, screwing the continent's farmers with obscenely unfair agricultural policies, and so on.

    And as for India and China, now that they've got nukes and spacecraft, they can step up and take some responsibility instead of acting like micro-nations with nothing but two pieces of driftwood to rub together.

  15. Denarius
    Flame

    Unpleasant Irony

    So the Copenhagen meeting is composed of thermageddon mongers who flew in to mandate more red tape and dead tree carcase compound aimed at controlling our lives, encouraged by SIFs whose response to CO2 fears is to burn cars after also travelling all over the world by air, not wooden bicycle.

    1. rciafardone
      Flame

      You nailed it mate...

      Indeed, a fucking irony that really pisses me off.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Fings aint wot they used to be

    What kind of wimpish postmodern demo is this. Where's the firebombs and the water cannons?

    I blame elf n' saftee regs.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    oh well

    I'd better stop using my sodastream as the CO2 given off from that as opposed to storing it must be tipping the balance in favour of global icecap meltdown - hang on though tons of free ice to put in the drinks.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    World Government...

    as a concept, stinks.

    The lefties that are trying to get it are not nice people... their intentions are evil.

    I would rather see our earth frazzle up and burn thanks.

  19. wv9e
    Pirate

    Clowns run it anyway...

    Ofcourse the lame asses in retard countries want free money.... duh. Global warming is a myth and carbon emissions are redherrings. I should get tax credits for the trees in my yard then right?

    Fools in Copenfagen can come here where the temperatures are below average all this year then

    go to Antarctica where there is more ice now than there was...

    We must stop idiots from ruining the economies that feed us.....

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