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back to article Cheerleaders in danger from cheerleading

In a startling set of new findings, researchers have concluded that cheerleaders who perform stunts are at greater risk of injury from cheerleading stunts. Using an "Internet-based reporting system for cheerleading-related injuries" (Cheerleading RIO™), boffins from Columbus Ohio gathered data from battle-torn American …

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  1. EvilJason

    Something along these lines

    I thought this was done before by foamy?

    http://www.friendsoffoamy.com/videos/cheerleader-injuries-topical-rant-006

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Missed stat

    Surely they haven't forgotten to mention the fact that 100% of injuries occurred shortly after inhaling a mixture of nitrogen, oxygen and carbon dioxide?

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  3. jonathan keith
    Pint

    What?

    CheeRIO™, shurely?

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  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WTF?

    So basically, cheerleaders doing cheerleady stuff lead to cheerleading relating injuries? I seem to have missed the point of the story then..

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  5. Jesthar
    FAIL

    Cue lots of comments about Popes being Catholic...

    ... and bears relieving themselves in tree-prolific areas.

    In particular:

    "The study also showed that nearly 90 per cent of the most serious fall-related injuries were sustained while the cheerleaders were performing on artificial turf, grass, traditional foam floors or wood floors."

    Maybe I'm just not sporty enough, being a female geek and all, but I'm struggling to come up with another common type of flooring found in areas likely to be infested with cheerleaders that isn't concrete or tarmacadam/asphalt based, which surely would be even worse...

    Aside from carpeting, but then you have to factor in 'going for the burn' - and the fact it's probably laid over one of the above.

    Ignoble prizes all round, methinks!

    ~Jes :)

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  6. John G Imrie

    Ig Nobel

    I think someone is trying to get in early for next years Ig Nobel prize

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  7. Graham Bartlett

    "And try not to fall on wood"

    Not during the game, anyway. Save that for after the game in the locker room.

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  8. Matt 13
    Pint

    where can i get these jobs??

    another report from the Department of Stating the Bleeding Obvious!

    i wonder how many hours of 'research' footage of cheerleaders was watched to come to these conclusions!

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  9. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    It's obvious, really...

    This was just a preliminary study. They are hoping for funding for the next phase which will involve "hands-on" data gathering.

    I'll quite happily volounteer my services as a data gatherer...

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  10. lglethal Silver badge
    FAIL

    only 60% of injuries are from stunts?

    Im interested to hear what the other 40% of injuries are from?

    Breaking a nail perhaps? STD's from the after party?

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  11. Frank 2
    Thumb Up

    Photos...

    or it didn't happen

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  12. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    "performing stunts"

    Shouldn't that be cunning stunts?

    Mines the one with an "M", gimme an "I" gimme an "N", gimme an "E" - yes, I know, just pass it here and I'll go away! :-)

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  13. FSJohn
    FAIL

    Oh dear.

    @ "In a startling set of new findings, researchers have concluded that cheerleaders who perform stunts are at greater risk of injury from cheerleading stunts."

    Duh.

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  14. MaXimaN
    Coat

    Surely....

    ...only Peter Petrelli can save the cheerleader? Do those injuries include having your head cut open to have your brain directly examined?

    Mine's the red and white one with pom-poms.

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  15. Steve Renouf
    IT Angle

    Never mind the photos...

    Where's our mobil reconstruction??

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  16. N2

    And were also advised

    That on no account should they perform when drunk,

    otherwise it may involve the flashing of some sheerleading ctunts

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  17. Scott 19

    You don't help

    Please El-Reg you really don't help my dirty mind some times.

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  18. Martin 6 Silver badge

    Cheerleader activities

    Thank god none of them suffered any injuries whilst showering or exploring their sexuality, which from my internet research seems to be the main activity of cheerleaders.

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  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Closed-head injury?

    Is a "closed-head injury" what I think it is? And what percentage of open-head injuries were stunt-related? 100%?

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  20. /dev/me
    Paris Hilton

    The real cause of injuries

    >>In our study, stunts were defined as cradles, elevators, extensions, pyramids,

    >>single-based stunts, single-leg stunts, stunt-cradle combinations, transitions

    >>and miscellaneous partner and group stunts.

    I just bet the real culprit are those nasty 'miscellaneous partner and group stunts'.

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  21. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Jeez

    why do I never think of doing really important research like this? I look forward to attempting a few replications before I'm arrested

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  22. RTNavy
    Grenade

    Gravity

    It is NEVER the fall that hurts or kills you, it is the sudden stop!

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  23. pjnola

    Lies, damned lies

    "90 per cent of the most serious fall-related injuries were sustained while the cheerleaders were performing on artificial turf, grass, traditional foam floors or wood floors"

    Just to play it safe, they should perform all of their stunts on concrete from now on.

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  24. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    @Frank 2 - Photos

    Hah! You give up easy. You should have asked for the playmobile reconstruction.

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  25. Fozzy 1
    Coat

    <title needed>

    For a split second I thought I had reached a zen like state of understanding in the simple logic of this research report .

    It was just a brief momment of disappointment when i realised that it was just my preverted mind, constructing some interesting images of a dozen blonde girls tumbling around on each other bom-boms and skirts flying everywhere

    No need for pictures or playmobil I'll just refer to images above thanks

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  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    and to think...

    someone actually got paid to do the research & write that study... what a racket!

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  27. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Hot Damn!

    Pictures, El Reg, I implore you!

    PICTURES!

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  28. Shadowslayer19
    Alert

    WHAT?!

    OMFG!!!!

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  29. jonmonkeys
    Paris Hilton

    Polling times

    When a cheerleader is out of her* inappropriate (highly appropriate) attire, do the polls no longer recognise her as a cheerleader when performing stunts?

    *I claim, willfully perceived ignorance, that male cheerleaders exist.

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  30. Dylan Baxter
    Alert

    Also...

    Also, the sky is blue.

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  31. Craig 28

    Oh grow up

    As attractive as cheerleading outfits can be they're quite often just girls like any other. Knew one at university, not romantic with her but she was a perfectly lovely girl and very down to earth. She never understood the male fascination with cheerleaders, and I have to admit I agree.

    Oh and being Catholic wasn't a job requirement for being the pope until the catholics and/or romans suppressed all the other early Christian groups. This would be about the time when the Romans took over running the church, they had already decided they liked Christians more than Jews because the Jews kept trying to rebel.

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