back to article H Ross Perot Jr fails to grab rhino by the horns

H Ross Perot Jr, the son of former US presidential hopeful and EDS founder H Ross Perot, has been told he can't after all have the head and skin of a white rhino he shot back in July in KwaZulu-Natal's Mkhuze game reserve, after the beast made good his escape from the hunter's "bungled" attempt to down him. According to SA's …

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  1. Bilgepipe
    Unhappy

    Just a minute

    Isn't the white rhino the endangered one? It's a pity the gun-toting idle-rich like Perot aren't quite so endangered.

  2. Dabooka
    WTF?

    Tosser

    He should be made to finish it off with nothing more than a balloon on a stick.

  3. Hermes Conran
    Unhappy

    I think it was F. Scott Fitzgerald

    who said "The rich are different", he neglected to finish " Coz they're C*nts!"

  4. Your alien overlord - fear me

    perhaps

    Jr should learn to shoot first before being let loose in Africa ?

    where's the d!ckhead icon ?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a wimp

    Why not just drop bombs on it from an aeroplane? Pathetic.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a fucking idiot.

    Title says it better than I ever could.

  7. Andrew Harvey

    Perot Jr's head stuffed would be better

    I say stuff H Ross Perot Jr and put him on display as a trophy. Pillock! He obviously feels like he's done something manly and brave, by being handed a "shot on a plate" (and even bungling that!). Power to the rhino rather than the dumb animals with more money than sense!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    why???

    Why on Earth is this idiot allowed to shot Rhinos at all? No less the white variety!

    If anyone wants a trophy from big game hunting in Africa they should be forced to do it with no more than a spear.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Sickening

    I'm all for killing animals you intend to eat, but to kill them for fun for some "trophy" is pretty sickening (IMV).

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Idiot

    They should leave this twunt in a room with me for 5 minutes.

    I would then emerge wearing my nice new coat and hood made of this dickheads skin.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I want Perot's head...

    If the head of an endagered animal is worth 66K, surely the head of a useless nob, beloning to a species with 6.5bn individuals (and rising) is worth substantially less ?

    66c seems mighty generous to me.

    So Mr. Perot, I'll load up the 308 and transfer 66 cents to your family's account.

    Can't be fairer than that, can I ?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    What a total arsehole.

    There.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Actually a major contribution to world conservation

    As long a twits like this want to pay money for this "sport" then the locals will realise it is worth keeping them around. Rather than just letting the poachers finish off the crop-trampling monsters for their horn.

  14. John H Woods Silver badge
    Happy

    @dabooka

    Funny, succinct and accurate. N1ce.

  15. Stjohn Roe
    FAIL

    Fail

    Good lord, this is appalling

  16. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
    Thumb Down

    Here's a thought...

    /* Kelly insisted that "the primary purpose of the follow-up operation at Mkhuze was to ensure the wounded animal was tracked down and destroyed to spare it further pain and suffering". */

    If the intention is to spare the animal any pain and suffering then why not try not shooting it in the first place. Can we organise a fundraiser to pay for the experience of shooting this Yankee fuckwit Perot, or for the orgainsing of an unarmed US tosspot vs Rhino showdown?

    Only a retarded knobend such as this planktonic brained gimp would invoke lawyers to guarantee the death of such a magnificent and endangered animal like the white Rhino.

  17. Paul_Murphy

    'I've paid for it and I want it'

    Ready for the foot stamping everyone?

    Tough luck you selfish idiot, with far too much (of daddys) money and no sense, let alone morals.

    Why couldn't the Somalis have kidnapped him?

    ttfn

  18. Brian Miller 1
    FAIL

    I am imagining

    That this guy is so crap a shot, the locals had to bring out "Trinny" the trained Rhino. I envisage a guide hiding in the bushes next to trinny and when Mr. Perot shoots wildly into the wilderness the poor bugger has to make Trinny play dead.

    I mean how do you miss a FUCKING RHINO. What a class "1" Grade "A" Jerk for wanting to shoot it in the first place, but then to miss...

    Probably ended up shooting poor local guide in the arse.

  19. Paul 4

    Stupid stupid people...

    Before venting your splean about hunting please read up on what they are hunting. Captive bread animals on a private reserve. Not endangerd wild animals. I think its a stuipd sport as these animals are half tame, you drive up, take a shot, and take them down.

  20. Wonko the Sane

    size compensation

    If the little twit takes after his old man, he's surely a bit lacking the men's department. This was merely his pathetic attempt to compensate. Some men go for fast cars, some go for killing innocent animals of endangered species.

    Killing with a gun is not a sport. If he were to attempt to kill the critter with his bare hands, now that would be sport. Hell, there'd be plenty of us would pay good money to see that.

    "In this corner we have rootinest-tootinest cowboy east, west, south, aaaaaand north of the Pecos (think Yosemite Sam from Bugs Bunny). In this corner we have the meanest, two horned wild blood thirsty beast who hasn't had his savanna grass this morning. And let the match begin.

    He-boy charges at the rhino...rhino yawns looking around his corner for some savanna to munch on. He-boy jumps onto the rhino's back and proceeds to pummel the mad, human-eater with his fists. Rhino yawns and complains to his manager about the lack of savanna and asks for a fly swatter. He-boy grabs the monster by the throat and proceeds to choke him. Rhino uses fly swatter to great effectiveness and, gee, notices that a bit of protein might make a good hors d'oeuvre...chow, chow, chow. Match over, rhino takes the World Weenie Crown and stomps off to find some savanna to chew on."

  21. Dinsdale Piranha
    FAIL

    Scumbag

    Perot had first crack and failed. Now it should be the Rhino's turn - Perot, unarmed, tied to a tree and drenched in rival male rhino pee.

    What is it with these scumbags? They get some kind of small-minded kick out of destroying a majectic wild creature from a position of absolute safety with high velocity ordinance. Brave, very brave indeed.

  22. Bassey
    Thumb Up

    Bah, humbug

    Survival of the fittest. If the Rhino was so great it would have evolved to have a nose-mounted AK-47 rather than a useless Horn that people desperately want as trophies. If Perot just wants the hide, can I have the carcass? Hmmmm, rhino burgers!

  23. Chris Bradshaw

    This is the 21st century

    You shoot animals for fun with cameras, not guns. If you want to show how brave you are, then get up close - the detail on the blown-up photo will prove it.

    Being on safari is wonderful, I've seen wild rhinos in Africa and they are stunning, really beautiful and absolutely amazing. How someone can want to kill an animal like that is beyond me. Sick, sick, sick.

    I'll kick in a fiver (pick any currency) towards Aristotle's horses showdown fundraiser.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Paul4

    Being captive-bred doesn't stop them being endangered!

    As for Perot, he's obviously as big a twat as his famously pogonophobic father. When can we declare open season on them?

  25. Daniel Wilkie

    Not sure why he'd have a claim to the head anyway

    If he failed to shoot it... I mean surely that's just a reminder of his mediocrity?

  26. Shady

    @Perhaps

    He should be let loose in Africa with no weapons of any kind.

    After being daubed in antelope pheromones

    In a reservation populated by half-starved Lions

  27. GrantN

    For the record

    The black rhino is the endangered one, not the white one, and I can assure you that while the rhinos are used to seeing the odd car drive by, they are far from tame. My uncle has a farm a couple of kms from Mkhuze so I've popped in there a couple of times.

    Hunting tends to be used as a fund raising exercise mostly, but personally I'm still not very keen on the whole rifle/elephant-gun/cannon thing. A bow is more fair, but a sharp stick is the best!

  28. TeeCee Gold badge

    Re: size compensation

    "Killing with a gun is not a sport."

    It is with bloody Rhino and a dangerous one too. Many years ago, I had the fortune to be taught at school by a teacher who had been a farm boss in Rhodesia in a previous job. One of his duties was to go out and shoot anything that had decided to take an interest in making a habit of eating/trampling/upsetting the locals.

    He reckoned that Lion, Elephant and such were OK and it was just a job. Rhino on the other hand were something that he dreaded. The only way to "safely" shoot one was to stand directly in front of it and encourage it to charge you, as only when it's charging can you rely on the damned thing acting in a manner predictable enough to be able to reliably shoot it*. Then, at the last possible moment, squeeze off a round from the elephant gun right between its eyes and finally dive to one side to avoid being crushed by the dying carcass.

    Shooting one anywhere else other than frontally in the head will merely serve to piss it off. A lot.

    *I reckon this is what the multimillionaire pillock got wrong. Insufficiently equipped in the balls department to do this the right way.

  29. Mark C 1

    @Paul 4

    Right, I've read up on what he was hunting.

    The guy is still a complete c*nt.

    Better?

  30. Neil Hoskins
    Thumb Up

    "...I'll kick in a fiver (pick any currency) towards Aristotle's horses showdown fundraiser...."

    Count me in for a tenner.

  31. Mark York 3 Silver badge
    Terminator

    During the war.....(1952)

    My father & his CO were chased by one in a land rover (They were driving, the rhino was on four feet) during the Mau Mau uprising in Kenya (1952).

    "Probably ended up shooting poor local guide in the arse."

    His foot patrol also encountered a motley crew of Kenyan tribesman, who cleverly announced their presence by loudly singing, thus allowing dads troop to be ready to ambush them, they turned tail & ran at the sight of this bunch of British National Servicemen (Khaki shorts & a Khaki hat, how me mother could have fancied that I just don't know), instructed to fire a (warning) shot, father hit one right on the arse cheek, who apparently broke the world pole vaulting record at the time only without the use of a pole.

    As for Perot Jr, he should have his breathing rights revoked immediately.

  32. Tom Paine
    Unhappy

    Paging A.A. Gill

    Where've I heard this before? Oh yeah

    http://news.google.com/news/search?aq=f&pz=1&cf=all&ned=uk&hl=en&q=a.a.+gill

  33. This post has been deleted by its author

  34. asiaseen

    @ AC 1226

    I would then emerge wearing my nice new coat and hood made of this dickheads skin.

    But what if he's circumcised?

  35. Chris Romero
    Go

    It's your head Ross!

    All right Rossy! You go get your head! Just don't miss the the kill next time on your hunt!

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @ asiaeen

    Then I will have to make do with a polo-neck sweater instead

  37. transientcylon
    Grenade

    Hunt Texans?

    As an American I'm all for an open season on Texans, most of us don't like them anyway. They are so boorish, loud and obnoxious they would be a breeze to track.

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