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back to article You too can become a Taoist Mao Shan master

The shock news earlier this week that a Chinese truck driver had persuaded an 18-year-old aspiring model that he was a Taoist Mao Shan master with the power to grant her catwalk success - providing she indulged in ritual sex - prompted many readers to enquire how they too might achieve the same kind of spiritual enlightenment …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Silly girl

    The gearstick was a dead giveaway, any bona fide Taoist Mao Shan master would have an incense stick.

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I wish I knew this when I was a student

    Back when I was a much younger Anonymous Coward, my girlfriend of the time made me read "The Tao of Pooh" so I could engage in polite conversation with her hippy parents. It was heavy going for my young mind (http://www.just-pooh.com/tao.html), if only I knew it was so simple.

    Thanks El Reg, that's another fountain of knowledge your have enlightened me on

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  3. Hugh_Pym

    Hope you checked...

    ... the age of the 'model' playing the stepdaughter in your reconstruction. I know her ID (handily available on the bottom of her foot) shows 1974 but she don't look 35 to me. I would suggest she was not made before 1995. As the law stands I am now guilty of 'making copies' etc, etc. As IT professional I cannot adequately delete beyond my ability to retrieve without putting a hammer through the HD. Which i will do as soon as i have post this message.

    I'm starting a class action to recover the costs.

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  4. James 55
    Thumb Up

    Haha

    The optional one for Ohio made my day.

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  5. Sartori
    Thumb Up

    Love it

    Great stuff and it's not even Friday :)

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  6. DZ-Jay

    Friday already?

    Yay!

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  7. DI_Wyman
    Happy

    Nice work if you can get it!

    re the Chinese truck.

    Do I have to load it up with sacks of rice?

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  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Second picture FTW

    What it ^^^ says.

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  9. Bassey
    Happy

    Antichrist

    Disgusted. How can a respectable publication like the Register bring itself to publish such filth? These images CLEARLY show real, graphic sex and, as such, surely fall foul of the extreme pron law? If it weren't for the fact that this website is populated, almost entirely, by sad, balding, middle aged men and that no child worth their mobile would be seen dead here I would be straight onto the ASA to complain in the strongest possible terms to their permanently deaf ear.

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  10. Richard Cartledge
    Thumb Up

    Oh nose

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  11. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    @ The bootnote...

    This looks fishy to me. Is El Reg sure that the original chinese model is not also playing the part of either stepmom or wife in the alternative step 2?

    Other than that, another brilliant piece of Vulture Central life-coaching for the modern era.

    Now, where is my Monks outfit...

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  12. Dave Murray

    Rupert?

    But where are Rupert and Optimus prime? Shurely they must be involved somehow?

    @AC14:59: You should have tried the Te of Piglet, a much better book for impressing hippies than the fairly common Tao of Pooh.

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  13. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    a job well done

    Interesting how he doesn't lose his "enlightened" smile even when he is cuffed by the cops... If it was such a mighty good magic stick polish, I guess I can give the idea a try...

    Paris because... 12 comments and nobody mentioned her? I'm disappointed!

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  14. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    NSFW please

    Man.. can I have a version of the Register that is safe for work? Is there a URL I can type that does not list these NSFW stories?? A disclaimer at the bottom of El Reg that says "all bootnotes are likely NSFW."

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  15. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    @Bassey - sad, balding, middle aged men

    Some of us are well past middle aged and not balding at all.

    Bravo. Bravo I say. Well done.

    One (or more) drinks all around!

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  16. asiaseen

    @ Nice work if you can get it!

    A load of aspiring models would be more rewarding.

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