back to article Burger King cooks up Windows 7 Whopper

Vegetarians and health freaks look away now, because Burger King has launched a stomach-churning Windows 7-themed Whopper. Burger King Whopper 7 Burger King's Windows 7 Whopper is on sale in Japan The software-sponsored sandwich is filled with not one, not two, but an unbelievable seven meat patties. The burger went on …

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  1. Jelliphiish
    Coat

    serving suggestion

    looks pretty but the consequences will kill you.

    mines the one with the Pepto in thepocket.

  2. mfraz
    WTF?

    WIndows 7 whopper

    Should have a health warning on it as it would probably contain a lot of bugs, worms, viruses etc.

  3. Hardcastle
    Paris Hilton

    Go Meat!

    H311 yeah, hook a brutha up, playa! Why limit this all-beef flame-broiled pleasure to Japan when there are hungry dudes in Kansas just willing to smash one of these down? On the other hand, how about the Ubuntu 9.10 Whomper with 10 beef and 9 cheese built in... Now that would be pretty damn tasty.

    Paris, because we know full well her fondness for a big ol' hit of beef...

  4. BigSpoon0

    meat patties

    'meat patties' - Am I the only person who finds that term a little... disturbing?

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm..

    DO WANT

  7. Jamie Kitson

    Literally

    My colleague said he reckoned he'd BSOD if he ate one of those.

    I love the way the site loads so slowly that you can't tell when the tower might end.

  8. Anon the mouse

    Bring it here

    They should bring that to the UK, might get more than 1 person in the place then.

  9. Geoff Campbell Silver badge

    See, that's why I love Microsoft....

    ....you'd never get Apple thinking like that :-)

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mmm...seven burgers.

    I can feel my arteries screaming for animal fat now. How much to get to Japan?

  11. Frostbite
    Alert

    Which one?

    @Jelliphiish - (The first posting from Jelliphiish)

    Are you talking about the Burger or the Operating System?

  12. Mathew White

    Standard Microsoft...

    Thats what i call bloatware.

  13. Lionel Baden

    OMG !!!

    I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT

    This satisfies the Canivore in me !!!!!!

    Im printing this off and as soon as my pay comes in im marching to the nearest BK and see'ing if they are going to be a good sport !!!

  14. Dave Murray
    Thumb Up

    Give me the meat!

    Why only Japan? This monster would sell a bomb in Glasgow, more if they deep fried it!

    @Jelliphiish: Yeah so does most things but at least I can enjoy one of these, unlike most so called healty food.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Yes please

    I want one. What more can I say? I certainly want one more than I want Windows 7.

    Paris, 'cos she likes manly meat.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm lovin' it

    No, seriously, I want one.

    Now.

  17. Adam Salisbury
    Go

    "That's a f*cking good burger"

    I want one, unimaginable cardiovascular consequences be damned! Mind you, if BK's tagline is 'Have it your way' then you should be able to print the poster off, take it to your local BK and demand they make you one!!

    Might not work here in Blighty but surely out in Kansas you could have them make you one on pain of lawsuit!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    How apt

    Looks tasty to begin with but will soon have you vomiting as it's still the same shit as before, only more of it.

  19. Joseph Haig
    Grenade

    Bleah

    That looks bloated.

    Grenade icon for the 'Mr Creosote' effect.

  20. Frumious Bandersnatch

    more on the Japanese

    mentions "13cm of American-sized buns". Was wondering if it was a subtle dig at American largeness, but 13cm "buns" would be abnormally small (unless you work for Ralph Lauren, I suppose). So I guess it's not a paradoy, though why they think largeness (or Win7, for that matter) is a selling point, I've no idea.

    re: meat patties, the ad actually says "beef patties"... so not quite as disgusting-sounding. Shame that the picture does that job all by itself.

    PS this is far from the only strange re-imagining of western food out there. Pizza with mashed potatoes comes to mind as one of the odder dishes I've come across...

  21. Filippo Silver badge
    Coat

    Irony

    I take it that FAT is still widespread, yes?

  22. shane fitzgerald

    All that meat will block your arteries....

    .....and therefore result in the blue scream of death.

  23. Jason Togneri
    Alert

    @ meat patties

    Well, technically they're made of beef, so I suppose you could call them "cow patties"...

  24. Dave 32
    WTF?

    Before lunch

    Why, oh why, did I have to see this right before lunch?

    Dave

    P.S. Just think what we have to look forward to when Windows 23 ships!

    P.P.S. Mine's the one with the multiple, oversized, insulated pockets.

  25. Richard 102

    Wow

    Lucky they didn't think of this for Windows 2000.

    Look, I get a jones for a Bk cheeseburger now and then, but dayumm! Al Sharpton couldn't finish that thing.

  26. pisquee

    Win2K

    Where was the Windows 2000 BK Whopper?!

  27. Pitpat
    FAIL

    Lets hope the similarities end with the number 7!

    The Windows 7 burger looks quite difficult to install. I am quessing it will cause sluggish system opperation for the first 12 hours and cause long delays to day to day opperations while the user tries to get rid of it! I just hope Windows 7 Software doesn't exibit the same problems!

  28. KB 1
    Coat

    How about an Apple instead?

    Anyone else think McDonald's missed a trick by not bringing out a limited edition Snow Leopard burger at the same time?

    Leopard might be tasty, you never know.

  29. Player_16
    Pint

    If this was in the States...

    ...the cues would be longer waitin' for this thing than W7.

    Wash it down... ahhh,...cool and refreshing...!

  30. Jad
    Joke

    Thats a lot of bloat

    see title :)

  31. Dadz
    Joke

    Arm and a leg

    I knew that Windows 7 would cost an arm and a leg. It appears to be costing some cows their arms and legs.

  32. Thecowking
    Thumb Up

    Where's the bee...

    Oh wait, I see it.

    That is one hell of a burger.

  33. Peter 39
    Thumb Down

    more of what

    That fact that there's more of it doesn't mean it's any better than before.

    Would 7x Vista be any better than a single? No, I didn't think so.

    Win 7 is just a Vista Service Pack. Even MS has admitted as much, although not for attribution.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    on sale in the country until 28 October.

    After which time everyone who ate it will be dead and gone from either a heart attack or blocked intestine.

    @Jason Togneri - shame on you making me mess up my monitor.

  35. Anon the mouse

    @kb1

    Now I'd like to try the snow leopard burger too.

  36. B3vil

    Waiting for 2009 server..

    I'll never go hungry again!

  37. slooth
    Pint

    Bloatware

    Windows 7 = bloatware. Just as this burger shows.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Just like the BK menu...

    ... it looks fantastic in the photo advert ...

    ... but the real thing will fail to meat up to expectations...

    BOOM BOOM

  39. Doug Glass
    FAIL

    As if Stevie boy ...

    ... hasn't been serving up his own whoppers for years.

  40. Mike Moyle
    Coat

    Seven patties...

    ... So, is that one burger for every install disk, then...?

  41. Daemon ZOGG
    Pint

    The Proof Is In The Picture...

    Now we have a graphical comparison of just how much BLOAT is in M$ Windowz software..

    I'm staying with Linux and FreeBSD Unix.

    ;)

  42. Kurt 5
    Heart

    Needs a bit more

    Maybe modify it a bit -- some cheese and bacon would be good.

    http://www.aboutcolonblank.com/2008/04/02/a-whopper-with-cheese-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-etc/

    The heart because this would definitely be Heart Healthy.

  43. Nathen Fredrick
    Grenade

    Omnomnomnom

    I need that burger in my life.

    Mines the grenade, as that is what my heart would become after eating that.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nah

    too much green shit still

  45. Jonski
    Go

    Methinks

    it needs more cheese.

  46. Marty McFly Silver badge
    Alert

    Ugh...

    That product gives me indigestion just looking at it.

    The BK burger gives me indigestion too.

  47. mrweekender
    Flame

    Hmmm...

    That burger is a just massive, greasy, bland, quick fix, that has virtually no nutritional value and would cause more problems long term than it will solve short term.

    Sounds familiar.......

  48. jake Silver badge

    I love meat.

    But that is entirely too much. Remember, folks, quality always trumps quantity.

    That's why I run Slackware ... and grill my own burger, when I want one.

  49. Olly_8
    Jobs Horns

    Had it

    Having worked for BK many years ago - I think I've had this for my end of night break - I may have cut out the salad as being dangerously healthy though...

    For the carnivores out there, it tasted as good as it looks!

  50. Puck
    Coat

    "It looks like you're trying to eat an unfeasibly large hamburger..."

    "...would you like some help with that?"

    Mine's the shellsuit with ketchup stains on it

  51. Llanfair
    Dead Vulture

    Windows 2008 Server

    I wish they do one for Microsoft Office 2010 :-)

    After one of those, the grave will be much closer.

  52. zedenne
    Megaphone

    me want tooooo!

    please don't just let the japanese enjoy the artery clogging goodness!

  53. Doug Glass
    Go

    This is Not News

    Balmer has been handing out giant whoppers for years.

    Paris because Paris know a whopper when she sees one.

  54. James O'Brien
    Pint

    Holy shit

    I want that burger!!!

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hot damn

    i am in Tokyo - might go an find one of those...

  56. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Now repeat after me:

    "Seven all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun"

    Now, do it in Japanese:

  57. Martin Lyne

    Would you like..

    Would you like Health Insurance with that, sir?

  58. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I would suggest...

    ...that everyone that equates "larger" with "tastier" should visit a psychiatrist. And a dietician.

  59. deadlockvictim
    Happy

    The priciing does not reflect Windows 7 accurately enough

    To start with, the burger should come in 3 (or is it 7?) sizes depending on the needs/wants of the victim and the pricing should match. Naturally The Whopper 7 Ultimate [Uruchimato?] should have every filling that Baagaakingu can muster and should retail for nothing less than 5000 yen. The Home edition is already displayed and the Professional edition would fit in somewhere in between.

    Although one can start eating it much more quickly than previous Whoppers, one may find that eating speed and the whole Whopper experience deteriorates as one progresses.

    On a final note, Windows 2000 would've been a disappointment in Japan for those expecting a cow's worth of burgers, since the Japanese reckon their years since the accession of the current emperor. That being said, the Heisei emperor would've been in power for 12 years then, so it would've been a better burger, but then I suspect that Windows 2000 is anyway the better OS...

    p.s. El Reg needs a 7-burger icon.

  60. bluesxman
    Coat

    I'll get my coat...

    You'll need a crash diet after eating a couple of those.

  61. Annihilator
    Coat

    6 standard versions?

    Whopper 7 Starter

    Only the bun is served - no burgers. Available as a starter only

    Whopper 7 Home Basic

    Only available in some countries, only contains 4 burgers

    Whopper 7 Home Premium

    Should be enough for anyone (also available as a family pack)

    Whopper 7 Professional

    Similar to Whopper 7 Home Premium, it includes a virtual burger that allows you to use your old condiments

    Whopper 7 Enterprise

    Doesn't smell, so you can eat it in a business environment without people glaring at you

    Whopper 7 Ultimate

    Vastly more expensive, still has 7 burgers, but if you look really really closely you might spot a gherkin or something to make you feel better about ordering it.

    Whopper 7 E (discontinued)

    Same burger, but with the salad removed so that you can choose your own supplier of vegetables. No longer available as Burger King have provided the ability for you to remove the salad and install your own.

  62. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    I see opportunity...

    Fail Blog material for sure!!

  63. ElNumbre
    Pint

    Have it your way.

    I wonder if I can print that off, walk into burger king and ask them to make it 'my way'. (Id 'install' some bacon 1.0 too).

    Reminds me of the buddist who walks into Burger king and asks "Make me one with everything".

    Can't see anything about a meal deal though - surely you must want fries and a drink with that?

  64. YumDogfood

    @AC 10:34 (I see opportunity... )

    More like Fail bog.

    Would you life some fiber with that?

  65. Yorkshirepudding
    Gates Halo

    WANT

    Install Bacon v1.0 and im sold

  66. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    WTF

    has a burger got to do with IT?

    Ohh wait...

    nom nom...

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Even those that claim to like the idea know deep down that...

    ...an Apple would be healthier

  68. Andus McCoatover
    Paris Hilton

    Neat advertising.

    Love it, and (at the moment) would kill for one. After reading that, I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat's been cut.

    Having said that, what would the Vista version be like? Slow to erase itself from your system? "Hangs" when you least want it to? Probably dozens of 700meg. patties, then forever downloading PFY-supplied smeg-infected 'mayonnaise' upgrades and the price would reflect the same?

    Don't get me started on the XP version.

    Paris, natch - she'd swallow an X-tra P^Hthick version. Sorry to rub it in, Paris.

  69. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I smell a merger.

    This is an appropriate advertisement for MS, after all Windoze 7 and the Whopper have a number of things in common:

    1 - They are both great to begin with but ultimately your left feeling unsatisfied.

    2 - They are both overpriced

    3 - If you consume too many, you will die.

    4 - The product does not live up to the hype.

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