back to article Attack of the Killer Tits

Reports are coming in of a previously unknown, deadly threat to sleepy Hungarian bats: that of being killed by tits. The shock news comes courtesy of Germany's Max Planck Institute for Ornithology, where boffins have been working with "colleagues in a cave in Hungary". Needless to say, we speak here not of any scenario …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    "Tits are not the same as Boobies"

    Quite correct, tits are woodland birds, boobies are a type of seabird related to the gannet.

    Even Paris knows that!

  2. David Neil

    In addition...

    To follow on from "Tits are not the same as Boobies", one should also be careful not to attempt to introduce a shag to an old bat.

    http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/s/shag/index.asp

  3. Andraž 'ruskie' Levstik

    Hmm sounds like an easy solution...

    Add bird feeders around the caves - problem solved ;)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Should our bat lover's worry

    as we also have Parus major in UK

    http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/g/greattit/index.asp

  5. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    er?

    " the "Great Tits" in question here are peckish birds - of the same ingenious family as the renowned cream-snaffling Blue Tits of old Blighty "

    There seems to be an implication here that Great Tits are not found in Britain. They are, of course, very common in the UK.

  6. TeeCee Gold badge
    WTF?

    Re: In addition...

    Yes, but a Shagbat is the same thing as a Walrus when it comes to things that fly. Just to add to the confusion....

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    Hey!

    You can find Great Tits anywhere! *

    * If you look.

  8. Dayjo
    Thumb Up

    Great.

    "Needless to say, we speak here not of any scenario involving carelessly-roosting chiropterine boudoir intruders inadvertently stifled by human female tophamper in a comedo-tragic cleavage mishap or similar. Rather, the "Great Tits" in question here are peckish birds - of the same ingenious family as the renowned cream-snaffling Blue Tits of old Blighty."

    I did chuckle at this. Does sound like you write for Top Gear or something.

  9. Goatan
    Coffee/keyboard

    Genius at work

    comedo-tragic cleavage mishap

  10. Greg J Preece

    Killer Tits

    For a minute there I thought this was going to be about Tits of Death:

    http://www.titsofdeath.com

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Carlsbad chinese hat

    Perhaps a Photo of Carlsbad Cavern's Chinese Hat Formation Would be appropriate Here...

    (google image the title!)

    Wheres the Boobies Icon??

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Suspected as much

    Personally unsurprised to find that "the "Great Tits" in question here are peckish birds", given the non-lethal outcome detailed here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/1398528/Woman-finds-a-baby-bat-in-her-bra.html

  13. ElNumbre
    Paris Hilton

    Knee Warmers

    Tits like Coconuts - Perfectly acceptable.

    Tits like Bats - No thank you.

    Paris - Because I'm sure she could point out a man eating beaver.

  14. DafyddG

    Hungarians are not the only victims

    Here in Wales we've also been victims of Great Tits - the weather brought them out in droves (is that the term - a drove of Tits?) - the beaches on Saturday around Barmouth were inundated with them. According to local news agencies, large numbers of males had to be treated for shock when a coachload of Great Tits hit the beach. Quotes like "you could have your eye out with them" were heard from temorarily blinded husbands as they were led away from the beach by their wives. I understand the female coach party was from Essex but that has yet to be confirmed.

  15. Anonymous John

    Tits?

    <Reads story>

    No point in asking for pictures or a Playmobil reconstruction then.

  16. Alan Esworthy
    Paris Hilton

    spell checker failure

    "Great Tits (Parus major)"

    "Parus" indeed.

  17. Brad Ackerman
    IT Angle

    IT?

    Because someone's got to ask.

  18. gollux
    Paris Hilton

    Introduce them to topless dancing...

    They can make more money that way, and eat a whole lot better.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    "a drove of Tits?"

    no - it's "a twittering of tits"

    (not to be confused with "a tittering of twits)

  20. David John Walsh
    Megaphone

    i thought the only tits in Wales

    was those who pull you over :)

    its a big horn

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This article makes no sense

    Hungarian dictionary, please! My hovercraft is full of eels.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    killer tits

    Indeed. I have a pair of them in front of me as i type.

    she knows why

  23. Neoc
    Coat

    Wot?

    No "tit for bat" jokes?

  24. ElNumbre

    @Brad

    Err, putting 'IT' in 'tITs'?

  25. King John
    Thumb Up

    tits

    "Great Tits" "peckish birds" "cream-snaffling" "Tits of old Blighty "

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    collective nouns

    Still strugling with a collective noun for many great tits. However a single pair would have to be a flash?

  27. Alan Esworthy
    Go

    @collective nouns

    The collective would be "a temblor of tits," naturally. Or unnaturally. Either way.

  28. lukewarmdog
    Badgers

    not that uncommon

    Man eating tits can be found in many clubs up and down the country.

    In some you can even find men eating tits.

    So I've heard.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like