back to article Swedish military bras burst, melt during 'rigorous exercise'

The Swedish armed forces have been hit by a major equipment problem, according to reports. Flimsy military brassieres are unable to stand up to the strains imposed when female Swedish troops perform "rigorous exercises", routinely bursting open or even catching fire - so forcing busty young conscripts to hurriedly strip off in …

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  1. Paul 75
    Big Brother

    Battlefield airbags

    That's not a design failure, it's probably a must-have design feature!

    I bet that the recent arsebomber wished he had fireproof underwear too...

  2. Ginger

    Youtube?

    We're in the age of user generated content and there's nothing on youtube? For shame :(

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Pictures?

    Cmon we need proof...

    Paris, well she dosen't need them to catch fire!

  4. Ian Chard

    Women in the workplace... workplace women... who work...

    sorry, touch of asthma

  5. Piers
    Happy

    Pictures, Playmobil, etc required

    and Lewis you have FAR too much time.

    er, as do I, obviously.

    Now, what was I doing again....

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pictures?

    We need photographic evidence...

  7. Hywel Thomas
    Coat

    Top Bras denied by Top Brass ?

    Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

  8. hi_robb
    Grenade

    Pictures Please

    And the address for the Swedish Army recruitment offices to while your're at it

  9. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Grenade

    freedom of information

    I think competitive trials are required, with full disclosure of results. These should be carried out urgently, or at least before Sweden's next war, and possibly televised.

    The grenade = don't shove it up your arse, keep it in your bra

  10. John 62

    seems they made them crap on purpose

    maybe it's to boost male soldier morale with an impromptu striptease. though i think even the more red-blooded swedes would pissed if that happened under fire.

    but is there a reason the ladies don't or can't buy their own more suitable Anna K-style sports supports?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    New field tatic?

    If I saw a load of Swedish blonds with boobs bouncing running for me I'd drop my gun and grab my weapon...

  12. Aslan
    Megaphone

    Pictures,

    Picture please!

  13. Ian Stephenson
    Thumb Up

    Playmobil...

    or it never happened.

  14. Graham Bartlett

    @John 62

    Needs to not only be supportive but also fireproof. I doubt your average sports bra is made of Nomex - flamethrowers and IEDs aren't generally standard issue on the tennis court.

  15. Allan George Dyer
    Coat

    Non-melting materials

    I recall reading that, in the Falklands conflict, sailors summer uniforms, made of synthetic material, would melt during fire-fighting, but their winter, woollen, uniforms had good insulating properties and would merely smoulder.

    May I recommend bras made of natural materials, such as wool, or leather...

    I'm just going to have a cool shower.

  16. Ken 16 Silver badge
    IT Angle

    and I forgot to ask the last time...

    in best fake yorkshire accent;

    Where's t'IT angle?

  17. Dave Bell

    Why Sweden?

    What's odd is that the general risk of fire, for military clothing, has been known for long time. Materials which melt are just stupid choices, though something with a bit of stretch might be necessary, and that could make for difficult choices.

    I wonder what happens in other countries.

  18. unitron
    IT Angle

    Prompt military response

    "...2,000 new young female recruits are to enter the Swedish forces next year, and that top brass had been informed of this recently.

    "That got them moving,” she said."

    To requisition more binoculars, no doubt.

    The "where's the IT angle" icon applied sarcastically, because who could possibly think a story about healthy young Swedish women hurriedly getting out of their clothing outdoors after exercising vigorously, with an especial emphasis on baring their breasts, anything other than a must-read for anyone in this male dominated field desiring the fullest understanding of modern highly complex communications, automation, and data processing technology?

  19. The Vociferous Time Waster
    Heart

    Playmobile department...

    We demand pictures... real or reconstructed.

  20. Alan 6
    Happy

    @Graham Bartlett

    "flamethrowers and IEDs aren't generally standard issue on the tennis court"

    That would make the average Murray match a little more interesting...

  21. Cazzo Enorme

    Braces

    Reminds me of a uniform problem conscripts used to face - braces (or suspenders to those across the pond). Some uniform trousers used to come with them built in - attached at the back and buttoned onto the front. To take a dump in a combat environment meant taking off all equipment and uniform jacket. Even braces that buttoned on at the back and front were little better, as they were a nightmare to do back up without also taking off equipment and jacket. Thank god that uniform designers saw the light and started opting for belts and elastic.

  22. Daniel Wilkie
    Heart

    A lesson from History perhaps?

    Why don't they just go to chainmail like the Vikings did? Fireproof AND supportive!

  23. RichyS
    Grenade

    War, huh.

    I suggest we declare war on Sweden instantly.

    And where do I sign up?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Where's the Internet video?

    And don't fob us off with Playmobil.

    This is quite clearly Sweden's ultimate defence. Unlike more immature countries that rely on the threat of thermonuclear megadeath to protect against invasion, the cunning Swedes have worked out that a platoon of special forces striptease babes will bring any invaders to a grinding halt.

    It's incredibly brilliant.

  25. Rod MacLean
    Happy

    More details please

    We need more details, for example:

    Address of the barracks where Swedish female recruits train

    Address of a shop in Stockholm where we can buy high-powered binoculars

  26. regadpellagru
    Joke

    market bras ?

    "The Post apparently brought the related bosom-combustion issue to light, noting that bras can catch fire during combat and then "melt onto conscripts’ skin"."

    Ouch, that ought to be *really* hot action, then.

    Side note: those female soldier, they really must wear gov. bras by law and can't buy market ones ? I'm sure a lot of them don't catch fire :-)

  27. TeeCee Gold badge
    Joke

    Ah, the answer at last.

    For the whole of recorded history, armies of various stripe have claimed that God is on their side.

    Now we know whose squaddies he's really going the extra mile for.....

  28. Fluffykins Silver badge

    Fnarrr fnarrr

    That's all - apart from a request for a Playmobil re-enactment

  29. 2FishInATank
    Pint

    @northern monkey

    Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

  30. 2FishInATank
    Boffin

    n=n+1

    ...where n is the number of comments along the lines of:

    "pics or it didn't happen",

    "I can haz playmobil plz?" and

    "WTF?!? Web 2.0 suxxors, there's nuffink on j00ch00be!!!1!!eleventyone!!!"

  31. Ben Rosenthal

    IT (crowd) angle?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRMBWxfA2OM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETCLGQn5MUk

    and can we just get on with it and declare Sweden the absolute greatest nation on the earth? :D

  32. Paul 4

    Realy...

    It frightens me how childish some people are.

    These girls are forced in to the Army and then not given basic working kit. This makes the British Army look like they know what they are doing. How the hell bras catch on fire I don't know.

    Perhaps a bulk order of sports bras is in order.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    It's really not funny

    As a male-type person, I can tell you it's no fun to have personal parts bobbing around whilst working out or running. The idea that anything holding those parts would burst into flame or melt on me....too painful to consider. I would be sorting out some better garments "muy pronto".

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    @AC

    >>>"If I saw a load of Swedish blonds with boobs bouncing running for me I'd drop my gun and grab my weapon..."

    Repeat after me: "This is my rifle, this is my gun... this is for fighting, this is for fun..."

    "Now write it out a 'undred times...if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off."

  35. jubtastic1

    IT Crowd money shot

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUEemQeInjE

  36. Dick Emery
    Joke

    Seems like...

    ...they made a bit of a boob in their choice of undergarments.

    Titters.

  37. Craig 28

    Re:Buy their own

    Might be also that military regs require they use officially sanctioned gear only.

    Is Sweden one of those countries that has compulsory national service? If it is and women are included then this is indeed not all that funny. Still can't help but find the idea of bursting bras amusing, just feel sorry for the poor girls. This is coming from someone who doesn't even find the whole "blonde swedish woman" stereotype that appealing.

  38. dr_forrester
    IT Angle

    Pictures...

    Or it never happened. Come on, people - did you expect NOT to get these comments with this article?

  39. Niles
    Megaphone

    Missplaced

    Should have been filed under "Storage", obviously.

  40. Nordrick Framelhammer

    Film at 11?

    Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please.

    Oh, as as for the IT angle?

    Involves Tits so yes, there is an IT angle :)

  41. Sean Wallace

    IT angle

    There is no IT angle, because this is in the odds and sods section. If you want to mindlessly repeat the same tired, unfunny things then go to 4chan.

  42. Coltek

    You can't have IT always Sean..

    Britte is Busting out all over....

    Thanks for the Mammories

  43. Paul 4
    Unhappy

    @Craig 28

    Yes it is.

  44. Olof P

    @ Craig 28

    Yes, although the requirement is only for males, for now. The issue has been raised that laws should apply equally to men and women, but since it's now less than 10% of the guys who do military service there's not much point to keeping it a legal requirement.

  45. Maty

    A Swedish Milkitary communique has stated

    Though the MOD admits it has boobed in the past, its designers are now abreast of the situation and are handling the relevant issues even as we speak. There is no doubt this problem can be nipped in the bud, if we juggle and rebralance our priorities.

    Now will the Reg please stop milking the story?

  46. Cortland Richmond
    Paris Hilton

    Friction, maybe?

    The melting comment is unfortunately on target; in Vietnam, US Army aviators found out (the hard way) that they might survive a fiery crash unscathed, protected by Nomex and a helmet, only to have nylon undergarments melt, and char the areas beneath. Ow.

    However, what kind of exercise gets a brassiere hot enough to melt?

    Paris, because she might have an answer

  47. awmperry

    Minor niggle...

    The problem can't have "persisted for twenty years". They may have started issuing female underwear in the last few years, but at least in 2001 and earlier the military just provided a clothing allowance for them to buy their own.

    Perhaps they do now, in which case they really should provide adequate underwear, but certainly last I heard no female underwear was issued. (Although female soldiers tended to run off with the issued boxer shorts, because they're rather comfortable.)

    In any case, accomodation isn't generally sex-separated. Males and females share rooms, showers, tents... when I served, my female colleagues thought nothing of changing clothes in front of the rest of the squad on marches - because nobody else did either. Sure, some of us had attractive lumpy bits on the front, but we were all squaddies. Changing or adjusting clothing in front of the rest of the unit isn't a problem.

  48. awmperry

    No, military service is *not* a requirement

    Paul 4:

    "It frightens me how childish some people are.

    "These girls are forced in to the Army and then not given basic working kit. This makes the British Army look like they know what they are doing. How the hell bras catch on fire I don't know."

    They're not at all forced - indeed, while men still get called to "mönstring" at the age of 18, women still have to specifically sign up for national service. But more on that later.

    As for bras bursting into flame, that's not quite the problem. The problem is if burning material lands on clothing; then the material can melt, causing severe burns. The issued M/90 uniform, for instance, can withstand burning material for over a minute, and when it does catch it just smoulders, rather than melting. And of course a burn is much easier to treat than if there's melted nylon in the wound... ;-)

    ---

    Craig 28:

    "Might be also that military regs require they use officially sanctioned gear only.

    "Is Sweden one of those countries that has compulsory national service? If it is and women are included then this is indeed not all that funny. Still can't help but find the idea of bursting bras amusing, just feel sorry for the poor girls. This is coming from someone who doesn't even find the whole "blonde swedish woman" stereotype that appealing."

    On the whole, gear has to be issued, but there is plenty of scope for personalisation. Underwear isn't regulated, though soldiers are reminded that for fire safety purposes natural or flame-retardant materials are better. It is worth noting, though, that under most day-to-day duties, that fire-protection isn't necessary.

    ---

    Paul 4 again:

    "Yes it is."

    No it's not.

    As Olof P - a fellow Swede, I'm guessing - says, there have been moves to expand the requirement to both males and females, and I think that would be a good idea.

    The way it works in Sweden is that all males reaching 18 are called for "mönstring", to register. Most people leave it entirely; the most recent figure I've heard is that 14% of males get called up, though I can't remember if that's för military service or national service in general. You also get the choice between military service ("värnplikt") or civilian service ("civilplikt"), which includes things like the rescue services.

    What all this boils down to is that, essentially, all men 18-24 are required to serve in the military for 7-15 months... unless they don't want to. (Seriously. Say "You know, I don't fancy it" in the interview, and there's a good chance they'll just say "OK, have a nice trip home".)

    Similarly, women are required to serve - but only if they sign up and say "I want to".

    So no, in practice nobody's forced into the military; with very few exceptions (if any), there's no one there who didn't want to be.

    For what it's worth, I thoroughly enjoyed my time in, and the Swedish M/90 uniform system is one of the best designed systems in existence.

  49. DafyddG

    Swedes and Hungarians

    According to your excellent news service, I suggest the Hungarian bats meet up with the Swedish Armed Forces supply organisation - seems they have similar problems - Great Tits.....

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