back to article London desperately seeking Strategy Boutique

We're delighted to inform those of you who're reading this to the sound of whalesong, whilst enveloped in thick joss-stick-generated fug that the Greater London Authority needs your help in defining the capital's identity paradigm, via a "brand engagement process" with the "widest range of stakeholders possible", leading to a …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Antony Shepherd
    WTF?

    Bill Hicks got it right..

    "If anyone here is in marketing or advertising, kill yourself"

  2. TeeCee Gold badge
    Grenade

    "widest range of stakeholders possible"

    Presumably any "stakeholders" (like, say, people who live in London) who hold the perfectly sensible position on the subject of "why not spend the money on something useful you pathetic wankers" will not be considered as possibilities.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Come to London...

    ...we'll screw you for every bit of cash you have, then you can f**k off home.

    We'll at least it's honest...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Brand engagement agencies expected to knock one out for policy mechanism pitch

    Sounds like rocket-science to me.

  5. disgruntled yank

    stakeholders

    A word that always makes me think of furious villagers forming up outside Dracula's castle. But alas the word has better staying power than your average vampire.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about

    "with the "widest range of stakeholders possible", leading to a unified brand for London which sets the vision for a post-2012 metropolis."

    Gotta be something catchy, the sums up London, it's huge size, it's CCTVs, its random stop and searches, it's criminalization of protests..... how about "metropolistate". Too many syllables perhaps?

    How about "London, Watching You Watching the Olympics"

    Or a nanny reference, "London: Europe's Naughty Step"

    Or Orwell reference, "London, Double Plus Good"

  7. Chimombi

    Makes sense

    We must face facts: 'London' has been a brand for about 2,000 years now. I don't know about you, but all I ever think of is Roman invasion and that Time Team lot digging up archaeology in Cheapside. I hope the new branding also includes a nice logo: perhaps one that can be tattooed on the denizens of NuLondon.

  8. Elmer Phud
    Headmaster

    So, that's where the money got to

    Most will be spent on trying to sort out Boris's image.

    Anyone for wiff-waff ?(but obviously not played by the riff-raff).

    (Jimmy Edwards - at least he was only acting)

  9. Chimombi

    Makes sense

    Face facts, 'London' has been called 'London' (or variations of) for a couple of millennia. It's clearly long overdue for a makeover. Big Ben should be demolished and a shiny new 3-D logo erected in its place as soon as possible.

  10. rpjs

    Greater London *has* a "logo"

    The coat of arms it was granted in the 1960s

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/72/Arms_of_the_Greater_London_Council.svg

  11. mhj
    Joke

    BS Bingo

    House!

  12. Martin 6 Silver badge
    Big Brother

    One we have been working toward for a while

    If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Gucci loafer stamping on a human face - forever.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Megaphone

    Copyright Lennon/McCartney

    Day after day, alone on a hill,

    The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still

    But nobody wants to know him,

    They can see he's just a fool

    And he never gives an answer.

    But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down

    And the eyes in his head see the world SPINNING round.

    Well on the way, head in a cloud,

    The man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud.

    But nobody ever hears him

    Or the sound he appears to make

    And he never seems to notice.

    But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down

    And the eyes in his head see the world SPINNING round.

    And nobody seems to like him,

    They can tell what he wants to do

    And he never shows his feelings.

    But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down

    And the eyes in his head see the world SPINNING round.

    He never listens to them,

    He knows that they're the fools

    They don't like him. The fool on the hill sees the sun going down

    And the eyes in his head see the world SPINNING round.

  14. Reverend Brown
    Coat

    Post 2012 metropolis?

    Is brand identity the most pressing concern for the aftermath of the 50-foot Mayan apocalypse of 2012?

  15. ITDirector
    Pint

    Init

    Obvious really, "It's Larndan, innit"

    Where do I collect my fifty mill?

  16. h 6
    FAIL

    Powerpoint?

    Keynote, you laggard.

  17. Hollerith 1

    London after 2012?

    Logo showing a couple of Londoners finally at peace in their favorite pub having a quiet pint.

  18. Lunatik

    It's in the bag...

    Dear GLA

    I hereby submit my brand solution for your consideration. I believe it fulfils the remit to offer 360° engagement with all stakeholders by leveraging traditional brand values whilst initialising a paradigm shift to a new, more dynamic proposition.

    http://i26.tinypic.com/10dxwt5.png

    Many thanks and warm regards

    Lunatik

  19. Alan Brand

    Sorted.

    I can offer a "brand engagement process" with the "widest range of stakeholders possible" ... if all Register Readers send me a quid or two, I'll unify London and myself by flying over for a holiday.

    Alan Brand, Canada

  20. weirdcult
    Stop

    STOP

    Just STOP

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like