back to article Gaza youth 'corrupted' by aphrodisiac chewing gum

An Israeli military source has dismissed Hamas claims that its intelligence service is offloading aphrodisiac chewing gum on Gaza Strip youth in some form of cunning sex-based plan to destabilise the Palestinian territory. Hamas spokesman Islam Shahwan said: "We have discovered two types of stimulants that were introduced into …

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  1. alain williams Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Import it over here ...

    if it does exist - just what we want for a boring Saturday night!

    Paris - she would chew it!

  2. Sabine Miehlbradt
    Grenade

    Where can I get that gum

    for my husband. He chews a packet of gum each evening.

  3. Lionel Baden
    Coat

    Packs Hat

    im off to go visit !!!

    mines the one with a combo box of condoms

  4. Alephi
    Alert

    Hmmm

    Yet another way to solve the Israeli/Palestinan demographic problem? Cull them from time to time with emphasis on women and children, sterilise the rest. Sorted.

  5. adnim
    Joke

    Shot in foot?

    So Palestinian youth will shag more... produce more offspring thus more potential Hamas recruits... Way to go increasing the enemy ranks.

  6. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Whoppers of Mass Distraction

    And what of Field Test Reports? Are they Revealing?

    Playing with XSSXXXX Memes Only Favours the Flexible Brave Boldly Sharing Lust's Phantom Surprise Prizes. And Precogniscence of Future Events Guarantees Satisfaction is a Swinging Hip Tip.

    Should you consider that the Next Operating System will be XSSXXXXually Driven/Mentored and Monitored, IT would make Driving an Insatiable Passion in a World of Bounty and Choice.

    Is SMARTer Enabled Erotography a Virtually Pornographic Multi-Use Virtual Machine Technology Weapon .....with Exotically Triggered Algorithm Switching for Native Refinement and ReSupply?

    Or is that Playing Down and Dirty Dancing?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Sexual repression at the heart of all religious tyranny

    It's their favourite technique for raising armies: portray sex as dangerous (as in this case, an action of foreign enemies and traitors) and/or dirty, surround it in social taboos, tell young men and women that they can't mingle socially with each other because God says it's morally wrong, hey presto! Ready supply of angry and frustrated young men with lots of time on their hands who you can convince to take up arms or otherwise pressgang and misdirect their spare libidinous energy.

    (See also Orwell's "1984" for a portrayal of a secular usage of this strategy, but it works best for religions because they are already based on the assertion of arbitrary moral claims about human behaviour that make so little sense they have to pretend they come from some supernatural source...)

    Pirate icon, because pirates understand that personal liberty and sovereignty over your own body is the very heart and bedrock of social freedom and everything else.

  8. The Original Ash
    Joke

    Important question needs answering!

    When will it be available in gents' bogs in the local boozer?

    "Stick o' gum, love? It's a 20 minute taxi ride home..."

  9. DrJaymansLoveCookie
    Paris Hilton

    Hey

    "Palestinian man reported his daughter had suffered "dubious side effects" from the sinister chewable"

    He caught her masticating in her room.

  10. Hermes (nine inch) Conran
    WTF?

    Hamas interogation

    I think you'll find most people subjected to one of those admit to being influenced by zionist plots!

    PS.

    @ Dr Jay

    Thank you for making me snort coffee all over my keyboard!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ AC 13:27 GMT

    Yeah, that's true enough, but under the circumstances, Hanlon's Razor suggests that this is more likely good ol' fashioned stupidity than part of anybody's conspiracy.

    Also, DrJaymansLoveCookie owes me a clean keyboard.

  12. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Coat

    Make Love Not War

    And I have the very chewing gum to help you.

    Must pop over to Gaza and meet Hamas, I've got this great deal on a bridge they can have cheap...

    I suppose you buy this in conjunction with the new liquid Viagra. Great stuff, but taking it gives you a stiff neck.

    Mine's the one with the Rohypnol flavoured gum in the pockets.

  13. Stephane Mabille
    Alien

    OMFG

    A Palestinian man reported his daughter had suffered "dubious side effects" from the sinister chewable...

    Last time someone got cough being pregnant by her husband (who obviously wasn't involved) she blame it on "God" and see how we are 2000 years later.

    Same place, different excuse, probably same effect... but at least we'll have chewing gum at church (except in Singapore).

  14. Fluffykins Silver badge

    Puts a whole new meaning

    to "HARD Gums"

    and probably humbugs as well, if only I knew it

  15. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Sapphire Stairway to Heaven

    "Evidence suggests that people shagging as and when they feel the need, hasn't had much impact on, well, the entire course of human evolution, civilisation and industrialisation to date." .. An Engaging Theory to Disprove/Discover/Prove and Proof/Improve/Enjoy. :-)

    There's Bound to be an EU Grant available for a Master Pilot Test . Methinks though, given the Cyber Security considerations, it is most admirably always well funded and running MODified with Underground Systems.

    And what did you do, Daddy, in the Cyber Troubles? ...... the Grand Awakening. :-)

    Ninja Naked and Geurrilla in the Green Room.

    The Final Phase of Total Live Operational Virtual Environment Immersion , the Live Surrender Beta Turing Test. Total Surrender CyberIntelAIgents to Usurp and Gather OutModed Third Party Power Controls for ReProgramMING into Imperial Great Games, is a Bumper Harvest Option Always...... for they Give so Much Generously. They Realise there is so much More to Learn about Everything in the Future for Sharing with Today to Build Tomorrow as a Record in the Past

    And Man, are those Chinese Cryptos Good, or are they Great with their Speed of Learning Alien Desires and Fervent Natural Wishes and Issues, for they get blamed for nearly Everything. And if they're that Good, why then so Reserved and Circumspect . Past Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap are an Unpleasant Past Reminder, perhaps. Fortunately though, Time and Thought Change Space and Spirit Memories Away to Archives, Allowing for Really Good Imagination wwwidely Shared to Assume Command and Control of the Cosmic Bridge from Virtual Forces.

    Yes, El Reg, I Know, but the Spontaneous Wild Quantum BetaTests are the Best and most Representative of the Present States of Universal Knowledge and Understanding........ which are Mightily Poor without a Shadow of Doubt.

  16. ian 22
    FAIL

    Killer gum?

    Isn't this the culture that has a death sentence for girls caught batting their eyelashes? The cunning of the Israelis knows no bounds! Lashed by lust and artificially induced urges, Hamas are forced to slaughter their own women in the prime of their reproductive years, thereby eliminating the next generation of suicide bombers.

    Epic!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    The ultimate aphrodisiac

    Hi Sabine,

    make your own

    with my vast experience of taking and synthesizing amphetamines .you should get around a gram of pharmaceutical grade methamphetamine(its available if you look harder enough).Get a wrigleys chewing gum and measure out 50mg of the powder.wet the chewing gum and make sure the powder dissolves evenly around the chewing gum.

    There you go! that will keep your husband *occupied for around 8 hoursl.lmfao

    why dont my posts ever get ever posted I give you gold and you ignore me! this comment is informmative and onpost!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    @DrJaymansLoveCookie

    Oh thanks....i just replaced this keyboard.

  19. frank ly

    @Sarah Bee re. AC 16:49 re. The ultimate aphrodisiac

    "..why dont my posts ever get ever posted I give you gold and you ignore me! .."

    Can we have a special section for rejected comments please? I'd love to read them :)

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Flesh Gordon, where are you?

    what's next- accusations of a 'sex ray' that reduces crowds of Gazans to a seething mass of copulation?

    'Clear proof' that Mossad are in cahoots with the evil Emperor Wang.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    @DrJaymansLoveCookie

    Looks like you're gonna have to buy the keyboards in bulk this time. You owe me one too.

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