back to article Michigan man jailed for humping car wash vacuum

A Michigan man who was caught red-handed having sex with a car wash vacuum hose has been jailed for 90 days, the Saginaw News reports. Jason L Savage, 29, was spotted on 16 October last year at 6.45 am having it away in Thomas Township, Saginaw. A resident saw "someone acting suspicious", and alerted the cops. An officer " …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. LaeMi Qian
    Unhappy

    I first read the title as...

    ...Michelin man jailed for...."

    What an image!

  2. Anonymous John
    Unhappy

    "I've been keeping my nose clean"

    With a vacuum hose?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    keeping nose clean

    Don't think it was his nose he was keeping clean with that hose.

    Yes, coat and hat please

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    an apology?

    I think that the filth should learn discretion, but then I suspect pigs may fly before that ever happens. Unless of course the problem is police beating prisoners in which case they're all very discreat.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    If only...

    ...he had decided to have a J Arthur instead of a J Edgar...

  6. Aeternus
    Joke

    I suppose...

    I suppose it didn't help when he protested his apprehension with the comment "This sucks..."

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Won't...

    somebody think of the dustbusters!

    Poor little darlings.

  8. ian
    IT Angle

    Saginaw: "This sucks"

    I see the IT angle here. It is "hard"-ware isn't it?

  9. Codge
    Alert

    Whoops!

    Savage, who has apparently agreed to undergo drug counselling, rather brilliantly concluded: "It's been horrible. I've been keeping my nose clean and staying out of trouble."

    Should have bought a Dyson, and fucked it in the privacy of his own home.

    What was he on at the time, I wonder?

  10. Eponymous Cowherd
    Coat

    Damn

    I read that as "Michelin Man"

  11. AndyC
    Coat

    He really should have said...

    "I've been keeping my hose clean..."

  12. Bad Beaver
    Coat

    What this world is coming to!

    Now you can't even shag a hose in public anymore without being arrested... so much for the land of the free... I mean, really... that SUCKS!

  13. Harry Stottle

    Why is this man in Jail?

    Yeah, I know everybody's having a good giggle, but, though his actions are rather amusing and being caught was humiliating, who, apart from himself, has been in the slightest bit harmed by his embarrassing actions?

    Had he been doing this in the middle of a school playground, I might be somewhat more sympathetic to the punishment, but all we know from this story is that a neighbour reported "suspicious" behaviour. I doubt if the neighbour felt threatened by the behaviour and once the local forces of internal repression had check the man out and found him not to be a physical threat, they should have told him to conduct his sexual games indoors and moved on to more important matters.

    This is the kind of Police State behaviour which is almost more threatening than the more obvious Tasing and bully boy tactics we encounter more often. Why more threatening? Because nobody bats an eyelid. It's just accepted that a prison sentence for this aberrant but harmless behaviour is perfectly acceptable. Well it isn't.

  14. Andrew Moore
    Coat

    Reminds me of the old joke...

    About Sheepshagger Jones- "You rescue children from a burning school- Do they call you Jones the Hero? Do they hell. You raise hundreds of pounds for charity- Do they call you Jones the Good? Do they hell. But you shag one sheep and you've got a name for life..."

  15. M A Walters
    Alert

    Stating the obvious

    I don't think it was his nose that he was keeping clean...

  16. Andrew Meredith
    Stop

    Erm

    Actually no

    I have no words :-)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    "Michigan man jailed for humping car wash vacuum"

    Could have sworn that said "Michelin man jailed for humping car wash vacuum" when I first read it.

  18. Don Sinclair
    Coat

    It was nothing!

    This is typical from a society that has a 'downer' on the vacuum loving populis. Obviously the hoover can't talk, if it could I'm sure that it could confirm that it is of the correct age and consented to the act and if it weren't for its incarceration would have probably taken itself around the back to 'do the deed'.

    Although I'm not into stuffing my dyson I do have a very good hoover friend by the name of Henry. He has been in a loving and stable relationship with his partner Dirk for over 4 years and have been lobbying glasgow City Council to recognise that they should be allowed a civil ceremony to cement their love for each other. Glasgow predictably decliened even to respond not only in terms of the ceremony, but social services refused the unhappy couple the right to adopt children........disgusting. Undetered by this vacuphobic victimisation Henry and Dirk have anounced their plans to stage this year's suction pride parade on Clapham Common, where flat, upright, industrial and domestic hoovers can get together with their human partners and celebrate their very existence......... Whoever decided to paint faces on the front of vacuum cleaners has a lot to answer for!

  19. Bob

    Wow. That sucks.

    :rimshot:

  20. Robert Grant

    I have a weird mental image

    ...(other than the one you'd expect, obviously) of him frantically cleaning his nose.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    There is a simple explanation

    "It's been horrible. I've been keeping my nose clean and staying out of trouble."

    Clearly he was vacuuming his nose and slipped. Easy mistake to make. I'm sure we have all.. no wait...

    Mine's the dusty one.

  22. Joe User
    Happy

    Wank-o-vac

    Savage, who has apparently agreed to undergo drug counselling, rather brilliantly concluded: "It's been horrible. I've been keeping my nose clean and staying out of trouble."

    But keeping his todger clean was NOT on the list....

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. Cameron Colley

    Wow, well done!

    You pathetic, puritanical, intolerant, bigoted, brainwashed fucktards!

    The guy likes to smoke dope and masturbate in ingenious ways -- as oposed to your pastor who likes you to give money for nothing, at best, and so he can abuse your children at worst.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    where's the technology angle

    Lester, where's the technology angle

  26. Sam

    He might be getting off (cough) lightly.

    Did anyone discover the age of the vacuum cleaner?

    And there is such a thing as informed consent.

  27. kain preacher

    Why is this man in Jail

    Um he was on parole for home invasion.

    @Cameron Colley

    So its ok to smoke dope in prison. He was not in jail for the dope , he robed some one .

  28. Argus Tuft

    I thought it was the cops

    who used the rubber hose......

    (would have made a great Taser video on youtube)

  29. James O'Brien
    Coat

    So umm

    How badly does the hose suck?

    /Yes I know coat, hat, door

  30. Bad Beaver
    Thumb Up

    @ Harry Stottle

    While I in no way condone indecent exposure, I wholeheartedly agree. It is not that this guy was making kids watch or anything. If one for whatever absurd reason (or as in the US — by default) thinks one has to call the cops, they should send him home to continue his business in private and maybe have some social service drop by to enlighten the poor sod about the Do's and Don'ts of public behaviour. No wonder US prisons need to stack their inmates five foot high.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the lenghts some people have to go to

    to get some excitement, when they've have half the skin of that organ removed as infants :-(

  32. skeptical i
    Thumb Down

    I will charitably assume the jail time was for the parole violation aspect ...

    ... (most judges don't take kindly to folks on parole getting so much as a parking ticket, let alone anything at the misdemeanor level or higher) and that Mr. Savage would have been given community service (including whatever make-good to the car wash owner) if this had been the first (and only) incident on his record. Embarassing and not too bright, definitely. Worth the time and expense of jail when real crims are being let loose? No.

This topic is closed for new posts.