back to article DARPA at phase 2 on human 'regeneration' tech

Famed US military mad-professor bureau DARPA has inked a second deal with Massachusetts researchers to develop ways of "regenerating" human body tissues cut, shot or blown off in combat. The new biotech therapies would employ the same methods used by newts in growing replacement limbs. News of the award comes courtesy of the …

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  1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coat

    But can they grow....

    Zaphod's extra head too?

  2. Toastan Buttar

    The same methods used by newts

    Getting pished ?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    *whimper*

    *whimper* I can't help but imagine the person who has unlimited regeneration abilities being brutally tortured in some dank hole for decades. Being able to regenerate is great but I can see it having downsides.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Bobbitt.

    Title says it all, really.

    Mine's the one with the three arms.

  5. Edward Miles
    Dead Vulture

    A mere...

    ...three words dedicated to DARPA's description? I'm disappointed El Reg, you're slipping!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hasn't something like this been done before for $6,000,000

    It is good to know that in future, when highly trained battle mice get seriously wounded and return home barely alive, DARPA can rebuild them. DARPA will have the capability to build the world's first regenerated mouse. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster, and under 1/10th the cost of the human prototype.

  7. Chris
    Happy

    Regeneration, hey?

    Sounds interesting. If it works on primates, we might me able to grow Gordon Brown a brain at long last.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    That's all well and good, but...

    ...doesn't it take about 15 - 20 years to grow an adult sized arm? I think I'd rather have the steam one...

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    I, for one...

    ...welcome our new, multi-limbed overlords.

    Hah!

    I always wanted to be the first with one of these.

    Sad, eh?

  10. John Smith Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    This may be bigger than it looks

    This may be bigger than it looks

    "reprogramming mouse and human skin cells to act more like stem cells"

    Which implies that they have found a way to regress the cells to an earlier stage of their development, winding back the cellular control tape and restarting it (for those of a certain generation)

    But getting the right number of cells to differentiate into the various types needed and following the right growth paths may be a bit challenging.

    The implications are staggering.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    I feel pretty sorry for the mice in this

    Presumably in order to test these theories they're getting their limbs cut off to test the regrowth system.

  12. alan
    Thumb Up

    @whimper

    from what I can see its not an ability, its a process they put someone through to heal the affected area (I'm thinking floating in a tank of liquid rich in whatever they use to get your cells to grow you new stuff) so they would be able to torture someone for decades only if they had the tank of goo on hand and didnt mind spending months waiting on them growing new parts.....

    regardless sounds awesome. could the same process heal scars or torn tendons other than just cuts / missing limbs I wonder?

    if they can find a way to make the patient's own cells behave like stem cells then great, time to start curing alzhiemer's etall..... (ye i know its spelt wrong)

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Old news

    As was reported in the news a couple of year ago, Professor Richard Lazarus has been working on similar technologies for a while and is already past the working prototype stage.

    He's currently seeking funding from the British Government to develop it into a range of commercial products that could revolutionise heathcare in the UK and drastically reduce the burndon on the NHS, though so far he's only gained support from one popular MP.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This sort of thing

    makes me as happy as a dog with two tails!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    tis gives a whole new meaning to the term:

    grow some balls man ...

  16. Kristin McKechie

    Infriging on LucasArts copyrights??

    George L will be claiming the Bacta Tank as prior art and sue the extra legs off them.....

  17. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coat

    How long till we get

    spam mail offering use of this technique to "gain several inches"?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Homer wanted to use this technology

    [Homer's arms are stuck in pair of vending machines]

    Repairman: Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.

    Homer: They'll grow back, right?

    Repairman: Oh... yeah.

    [He cranks up the rotary saw and moves it toward Homer's arm... ]

    Repairman: Wait a minute. Homer, are you just holding on to the can?

    Homer: Your point being...?

  19. Colin Barfoot
    Boffin

    homo galgosioso

    Any fool knows the best way to regenerate living membrane is to subject it to an electrical charge,

    first demonstrated by Jon Pertwee in 1966, and explained in this world-changing scientific article,

    http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/119145644/abstract?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0.

    While re-wiring the house I electrocuted myself twice and now there's three of me. We soon made mincemeat of that electrical job.

  20. Nick Palmer
    Thumb Up

    Well...

    ...that's my ski-boxing sorted...

  21. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    More obvious application.

    The applications of this tech in the highly lucrative knob enhancement business have the potential to be, quite literally, endless.

    No, I am not wearing a very long pink scarf under my coat.....

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmmmmm .....

    Assuming the new part can be made to grow back bigger and/or better than the original (after all, it's programmable), does this mean that, once this gets into general use, a lot of men will cut their dicks off?

    (Not me, though!)

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The lizard

    isn't this almost exactly how the Marvel villain "The Lizard" came about?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Is Dr. Philips working on this?

    If not, it won't work. Although Admiral Hayes seems to think teething after receiving the Philips treatment might be a bit of a bother.

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