back to article Shark attacks predict economic bubbles, says boffin

A top Florida fish boffin says that the global recession is causing a massive decrease in the number of shark attacks. George Burgess, Florida Uni ichthyologist, is fortunate enough to be Director of the International Shark Attack File, so he would know. Apparently shark assaults in 2008 numbered just 59, down from 71 in 2007 …

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  1. Tonsko
    Flame

    Quick!

    Get him a job at Number 11. He seems ideal!

  2. Adrian Jooste
    Unhappy

    Good news for people who like bad news

    Well, this doesn't make me feel any more at ease about going for a 2 month long surf binge in South Africa next week. The Great White "nip" is pretty potent I hear.

  3. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Happy

    Another less fortunate side-effect....

    .... is the reduction in the number of estate agents removing themselves from the genepool by wrapping their Porsches around trees. As with the last downturn, most of these equivcators-of-the-turth have been forced to hand back their leased flashmobiles and trundle around in much safer diesel Golfs or A3s, unfortuanely allowing them the chance of breeding with some equally befuddled member fo the opposite sex.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Lame article, only mildly funny

    If the downturn makes people go less to the beach, it should automatically result in less accidents in the water (shark-based or other).

    Just read what the person said.

    Correlation does not equal causation, especially not causation in a direction that makes no sense at all.

    There should be a two thumbs down button.

  5. Oz
    Paris Hilton

    What no pictures....

    ... to accompany the article? I was looking forward to seeing the "'Provocative' surfer sluts"!

  6. Steve Gill
    Happy

    @ Adrian Jooste

    With the economy in freefall you should be totally safe. Hope you're going to surf Jeffries Bay, it's great there.

  7. Rob
    Coat

    I for one...

    ... welcome our peckish elasmobranches overlords, let's hope they do a better job than Brown did with our countries finances, they can't be any worse, Brown is eating us alive as well.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Predict? Surely you mean confirm...

    How on earth can they predict economic bubbles, if the reason people are not going on holiday is actually due to a recession in the first place!?

    Surely then, they can just confirm an economic slump rather than predict it!

    Maybe El Gordo the Clown will use this to prove he actually did save the world...

  9. Kevin Whitefoot

    Great White is a protected species off SA and California

    According to the web sites I have consulted in my extensive research on the subject (two minutes) less than forty attacks a year are attributable to Great Whites and very few are fatal.

    Anyway there are plenty of surfers.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    In other news...

    Increased sales of umbrellas 'predict' when it is raining...

  11. al
    Paris Hilton

    Math : 71-59 = 12.

    12/71 is not big enough a margin to be "sure" about the trend.

    maybe he is right.. but did he jump the gun in creating sharkonomics too soon ?

    What about affects of global warming ?

    What about effect of animal planet where they've created some sort of awareness in people about shark atttacks. (eg timings; seasons and shape of surfing boards.. ie what if people are getting a little smarter after all) ?

    Paris, coz she can be a maneater.

  12. Marvin the Martian
    Unhappy

    How about the obvious explanation?

    The Chinese having finally eaten almost all the sharks, the number of attacks is down?

    Too obvious explanation?

  13. J-Wick
    Happy

    @Math...

    No, he jumped the shark, not the gun.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    The math behind this story....

    Is at least as good as that used in the models employed by our esteemed global financial industry!!!

    Wait a second....

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Nice one

    The way the day has been going for me this is just the kind of light news I need to keep me going through the rest of it. Nice work Lewis, in these days anything to lighten the mood surrounding all of our economic woes is welcome by me. Please report to the nearest bar for a drink on me :-).

  16. MnM

    clever sharks

    bear with me kids (especially those who want causation, I'm all over it)

    1 sharks eat a small number of people

    2 economy improves

    hence 3: sharks must be eating those responsible

    hence 4: sharks can somehow tell who's responsible

    expect McFall to conduct sub-aquatic treasury select committee next week. I'm off to spend the w/e fishing the little snitches out of the water before they can dish it up.

    /week

  17. JT2008
    IT Angle

    More attacks ...

    would be successful by the sharks, if they just had a frikkin laser beam!

  18. raving angry loony
    Coat

    pros

    The sharks can't be biting stockbrokers then. Professional courtesy and all that.

    Yeah, with the sharkfin soup in the pocket.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why bother looking at GDP

    and standard of living per head of population - oh right, they don't often look at that one in the UK.

    You can find all you need to know about economics from shark attacks.

  20. Player_16
    Coat

    Well, here in Australia...

    ...the economy must be booooming! Just recently we had 15 known attacks during the 3 month slump; one in Sydney Harbour where a Navy Seal lost a hand.

    I think that bloke needs to get out (of the USA) more. It's winter time over there.

    Here's your wet-suit.

  21. foo_bar_baz

    @ac and marvin

    I thought about this, too. Sharks are under threat of extinction at current rates of fishing. They are important to the oceans' ecosystems, shame upon the shark fin industry for the slaughter and media for fanning the fear of sharks. I blame Spielberg. :/

  22. Rubber chicken
    Happy

    Well my day is now complete

    Every day I search for a new article with the word "elasmobranches" in it. Woo - I can go home now....

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