back to article Rogue fishing skipper faked own death

A fishing skipper who attempted to avoid questioning by the Marine and Fisheries Agency (MFA) by pretending he was dead and submitting his own obituary to a trade newspaper was yesterday sentenced to six-and-a-half years' jail. Derek Atkins, 56, of Portsmouth, was under investigation by the MFA for various offences, including …

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  1. Cameron Colley
    Coat

    The Sex Offenders' Register covers fish?

    Is it just me or do a high proportion of criminals who are reported on happen to be on the Sex Offenders' Register? I'm almost tempted to think that the police somehow "find evidence" in a suspicious number of cases...

    /mine's the one with the Kevlar lining.

  2. Tim

    How long???

    Six-and-a-half years seems pretty strong for what appear to be a load of paperwork offences which nobody sappears to have suffered from, and is a sharp contrast to the 6-8 year sentences that were recently given to Rogel McMorris, Jason Brew and Hector Muaimba, the rapists and disfigurers of a teenager with learning difficulties.

    Tim#3

  3. Elmer Phud
    Coat

    Missing from obituary

    The last line was left out of the obituary,

    It should have ended - "And Cod is my judge".

    Obviously a bit of a shark, he's been put in his plaice now. No more floundering around the edges of the law.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    @Tim

    You have to remember that failure to be able to produce the appropriate papers is now a serious criminal offence in the Bright New UK, far more serious than rape or murder

  5. Seán
    IT Angle

    Er

    He had a computer or something though, I mean that's why this is in the reg after all.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @How long???

    "Six-and-a-half years seems pretty strong for what appear to be a load of paperwork offences which nobody sappears to have suffered from"

    You'll be the one that didn't read the article, Tim.

  7. Hollerith

    Those scallops did not die in vain!

    They were one small part in helping get this creep into the pokey. I salute you, small, self-sacrificing bivalves.

  8. Gary

    Good Judge!

    He firmly believed that between them DEFRA, the MCA and the government's rules simply want to stop the British fisherman earning an honest living and have the British fleet scrapped to enable foreigners to take whatever they want from British waters.

    Guilty as charged by this shower he may be, but he had the politicos and bean counters who have sold this nation down the river well judged, sure enough!

    Gary

  9. kain preacher

    @tim

    He was sailing under false credentials . I'm sure driving with forged drivers license or and expired one is just a clerical offense .

  10. Lars Silver badge
    IT Angle

    And the IT angle

    The fish or fart is just too small.

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