back to article Apache gunbird used as robo kill-chopper fleet command ship

US weaponry'n'aerospace companies have announced the first flight testing of an Apache attack helicopter equipped to act as flagship to an accompanying fleet of robotic unmanned kill-choppers. Official MoD photo of an Apache in A'stan - interestingly cropped Brit Apaches are never seen without their radars in public. The …

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  1. fajensen

    But ...

    Couldn't they just make up a radar-like-device out of painted Styrofoam (yes, it would have cost a few million quid but thats military procurement for ya)

  2. Paul Murphy

    Why not stick it underneath,

    Or on the sides, or the nose, or something.

    Does it have to be on the top?

    ttfn

  3. Tom
    Happy

    Now, now. The reason they built their own factory

    was so that the UK would retain the technical ability to build the copters should the US ever cut them off.

    It's important that regardless of which side of the pond we live on, we keep our hypocrisies straight.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who?

    It's been mentioned on El Reg before. Who is it amongst the top brass that has a large stake in Agusta Westland?

  5. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit
    Dead Vulture

    Oh hell, some fool rattled Lewis' cage..

    One paragraph of introduction.

    Four paragraphs plus quote actual story.

    One paragraph of Page Standard Issue [Harry Enfield voice] You don't want to do it like that, you want to do it like this [/HEv]

    Four paragraphs plus bootnote of utterly predictable Lewis rant about UK defence procurement.

    Change the record Lewis, you are boring us now.

    Better still STFU and see if you can't get a job somewhere you might be able to do something about UK defence procurement. Afraid of failure or afraid of work?

    Still, credit where it's due. You've got you story/tossoff ratio up to 50:50, an improvement I'd say. Maybe there's hope for you yet.

  6. Dan Breen
    Coat

    Caption Amendment

    "Brit Apaches are never seen without their riders in public".

    I'll get my coat, it's the Non-IRR dessie smock...

  7. Rob
    Alert

    Those troopers...

    The ones hanging on at either side. Would their heads not get sucked into the jet intakes, or something?

  8. Lewis Page (Written by Reg staff)
    Stop

    Astroturf Warning

    Gotno iShit Wantno iShit is welcome to his anonymity, of course. But it may help in assessing his objectivity to note that his email address reveals that he works for a large aerospace and weapons firm with significant Apache involvement.

    And no, mate - not afraid of work. That's why I'm here earning money and paying the taxes from which the likes of you take your wages.

    No doubt we'll see you back with an anonymous email soon enough, like the rest of your astroturfing buddies who are a little bit better at it.

  9. NathanD
    Black Helicopters

    re: Why not stick it underneath,

    We put the radar on the top so that the chopper can hide behind trees or a convenient ridge and still scan a tank on the other side and even launch its missiles without ever revealing itself.

    Everyone elses apaches have to pop-up in order for the visual target acquisition stuff in the nose to do the same job, exposing the helicoptor to risk.

  10. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Happy

    Drone carrier, anyone?

    If the Apache can lug the drone control device around, I'm certain a Merlin could as well. In fact, the Merlin could also have external racks for the drones if they're the ducted fan type or slightly larger. Then, the Merlin could stay outside the fight and send the drones in to find the bad guys, and relay the video streams to a pack of Apaches which could then make a single attack pass instead of having to expose themselves to find the target and then attack.

    Oh, hold on a sec - Lewis doesn't like Merlins, maybe I should suggest we stick the gear in a Chinook instead?

  11. Gianni Straniero

    Re: Why not stick it underneath

    @ NathanD

    Fair enough, but since target aquisition radar can't be moved, why not put the UAT somewhere else instead?

  12. goggyturk

    Apaches are the best candidate

    From memory, the Yanks have around four non-radar Apaches for every Longbow. It's probably just an irony rather than a coincidence that ours cost four times more.

    The point of the Longbow is that it can pass target information to the non-radar Apaches to help take out the targets (eg a Soviet Armoured Brigade), so in a sense they already do this job and that's probably why they were selected as the drone mothership, plus their ability to survive in a conventional battlefield while staying in communication. If you can be taken out with a shoulder launched missile, maybe you don't want to sit with your engine off anywhere close by.

    The only reason I can think of for having an all radar fleet (and I thought about this for about 5 seconds) is if the Brits expect the Longbows to fight in ones and twos most of the time. Otherwise it only makes sense to have this if the data can be passed to Hellfire equipped Lynxes backing up the Apaches..

  13. goggyturk
    Alien

    I forgot...

    Apaches also look particularly threatening in black.

    Perfect for the control of drones harvesting the hapless fleshies! Bwahahaaa!!!

    All hail our metal Lords etc

  14. Jonathan McColl
    Coat

    Not a UTA

    How can you say it's called a 'UTA' when it should be the Longbow UASTCDLA? You must get your initialisms accurate.

    (I'd've said 'acronym' only I found it hard to pronounce the TCDL bit)

    I'll just leave quietly now...

  15. Eddy Ito
    Black Helicopters

    Sauce for youK, sauce for youS

    Now don't go complaining about building your own Apaches. It isn't like we are buying AgustaWestland's EH101 on this side of the pond. Oh nooo, we have to change the name to US101 and build a few to serve as Marine 1, decoys and a bit of trouser dressing to impress the ladies. Come now, buck up and repeat the gubbermint motto... "Spare no expense to save a Nickel," I guess you'll be using tuppence then.

  16. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Re Astroturf Warning .. By Lewis Page Posted Friday 30th January 2009 15:34 GMT

    Might I just say, Lewis, that that was quite the nicest kick in the balls, any miscreant can expect. QuITe whether it will stimulate the brain to perform better though, is an altogether different matter, subject to ...... well, Conditions beyond Immediate, Third Party, Proxy Controls, although no doubt, IT being an Active Dynamic Strategic Force Field, that would be Probably Something Sensitive being Vigourously and Diligently Pursued/Investigated/Phormed/BetaTested and Field of Theatre Operations Applied and Supplied.

    And a Valuable Invisible XXXXPort Earner too, to ITs Competent and Rightful Rights Controllers..... which in this particular instance, would be akin to AIdDream Driver Terrain Team.

    Can you Imagine the Stir to Shake up the Board of any Company if a Renegade Apache Custom Model was the Boss's Mode of Fanciful Flights Transport although I suppose that would necessarily require Purchaser Developed Vetting to ensure Fitness for Purpose, which would stop the any plonkers from parading around as if they were someone else, which is the bugbear of the Auto Industry at its Uppermost Levels ..... with the perception of dickheads overcompensating for lack of personal performance being all too persistently prevalent and therefore not necessarily untrue. A Problem though, if it be a Problem, easily solved by Brands being Transparently Selective of Customer Needs and Feeds.

    And that may Lead to ProActive Poaching and Product Placement with Targets of Interest with Spin Off Potential, which would be AIReal DynamIQ Area QuITe Naturally Stimulating Growth and Better Beta Performance.

  17. This post has been deleted by its author

  18. Wayland Sothcott
    Black Helicopters

    It's difficult to fly all those little birds

    Why risk all those other helecopters by not having pilots in them?

    Put someone in every helecopter then let them fly it. That way it can be flown properly. There must be plenty of good helecopter pilots training on their X-Box 360's who would do it for nothing.

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